Author's Notes: Yay, I'm back from Maryland, and the 7 hours each way turned into more than 8. Fun, right? So I wrote like 3 chapters, and I'll try to have them all typed before Thursday, because preseason for soccer starts for me then, and when I come home from that everyday, I'll be too tired to do anything. Lol. So, here you go!
Chapter 36:
"What were you doing out here?" Aragorn asked me as we trotted back towards the keep on his horse. "I did not see you when we were readying the horses."
"I was looking for Lilith," I said. "I thought I saw here out here during the battle."
"Why would she be out here?" he asked.
I sighed. "We had a fight earlier. I told her to stay in the caves because it would be safe. But she apparently interpreted that as offensive, and thought she could fight." I paused. "It was my fault."
"No, it wasn't," Aragorn said, gripping my shoulder in reassurance. "Are you positive that you saw her?"
"No… Yes… I don't know…" I said.
"What does your gut tell you?"
"That she's a stupid prick who thought she could fight, and thought that I was trying to steal all the glory for myself." Aragorn gave me a funny look. I shrugged. "You asked."
We rode in silence for a few more minutes. "I think I'll go back and look for her," I said, jumping off of the horse. When I hit the ground, my knees buckled, and I promptly fell over. Aragorn just rolled his eyes at me as he rode away.
I stood up, brushed myself off, and continued my search.
111
A half an hour later, I still hadn't found her. I was about to give and check the caves when I suddenly saw red hair once more. I wandered over, preparing myself for failure once again. I pushed a dead Uruk over, and I saw her.
She was still alive.
"Jana…" she whispered.
I just stared at her for a few seconds, horrified. Her face was streaked with blood, and she had a hole in her stomach, about the size of a sword, which was still bubbling with blood. "I need over here!" I yelled, hoping that someone would hear me. I dropped to my knees next to her. "Lilith, can you hear me?" I said.
"Jana…" she said again, but started to cough, causing more blood to come out of her wound.
"Don't talk," I told her. "You'll be okay. We'll get someone over here in a 'mo."
"No," she said forcefully. "Jana, I'm… sorry." She took a long shuddering breath.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for," I said, taking her hand in mine, and trying to hold back the tears. I suddenly heard running footsteps behind me, and I turned to see Legolas coming in our direction. "See, Legolas'll help you now," I said.
He dropped to the ground on the other side of Lilith, his eyes lingering on the hole in her stomach. He shot me a look, which was just as good as saying 'it's no use'.
"Jana, I was… stupid," Lilith whispered. "I shouldn't… have… come out… here… Dumb… No armor… besides stolen chain mail…" She squeezed my hand. "When we… met… I didn't start… the fire… You did…"
Legolas looked at me again, his expression puzzled. I shook my head at him. "I don't know what she's talking about," I said quickly. "She must have hit her head or something…" Her hand was growing colder by the second.
"I'm… sorry…" Lilith repeated.
"Hand with me, Lilith," I said. "Don't let go."
She gave me a weak smile. I could see blood in her mouth. "Go finish… the story…" she choked out between breaths of air that sounded painful for her. "You'll… change this… for… the good…"
Her hand was freezing now. "Lilith?" I whispered. She started coughing again, and then she went limp.
She was dead.
"I'm sorry," Legolas said softly. "We shall greatly mourn the passing of a dear friend."
"She wasn't a friend," I said roughly, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "She was just some stupid girl who didn't know anything."
I looked at her for a few more seconds before I closed her eyes with my hand. Then I turned away. I couldn't look at her anymore.
I heard Legolas inhale sharply from behind me. "Jana," he said. I turned around. Lilith was gone.
"What happened to her?" I demanded.
The Elf shook his head. "She just… vanished," he said. I stared at the spot where Lilith's body had just been, my brain flooded with shock. So this is what happens to us when we die here; we just disappear. And go where? Back to Earth, maybe?
I shook my head. "Well, it wasn't like I was going to give her a proper funeral or anything," I said coldly. "What does it matter now if she's gone or not?" I turned then and stalked off, leaving Legolas by himself.
111
I couldn't believe that Lilith was actually dead. If only I had been more persistent with trying to teach her to fight, if only I had been nicer to her, if only… I let out a small, aggravated scream, and kicked the closest dead Uruk to me.
I soon found myself wandering back into the keep. I really wanted to get away from all of the dead Orcs, because they smelled pretty nasty.
I hand suddenly grabbing my shoulder made me scream. Turning around, I saw that it was Eowyn. "I'm sorry," she said quickly, a concerned expression on her face.
"It's okay," I said, shaking my head. "I didn't mean to scream. I'm just… jumpy, lately."
"Oh," she said. There was silence between us. "So, did you find Lilith?"
The noise that bubbled up in the back of my throat sounded similar to that made by a wounded buffalo. Eowyn stared at me. "Yes," I whispered, staring at the ground.
"And…?" she said breathlessly after a few seconds.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry…" I said, looking back up at her. "I knew you two got on well together."
Her mouth fell open, and her eyes filled with tears as she took a few labored breaths. "She's dead…?" Eowyn whispered. I nodded my head again. She stumbled back and fell against the wall. I suddenly felt a little awkward. Should I consol her, or should I walk away? "I cannot imagine what you must feel like," she said.
"Actually," I said, furrowing my brow, and really thinking, "I don't fell… anything."
"Maybe it has not hit yet," Eowyn suggested, wiping her eyes with her hand. "She was your good friend, after all."
I felt another growl form in the back of my throat, but I held it in. "Why does everybody think that we were friends?" I demanded. "I didn't know her that well! She was too sissy for me, just like you are! I didn't even like her! The only reason I let her come with us was the fact that she rescued me from getting my throat sliced open by Blondie! And come to find out, she didn't even do that!" I suddenly stopped my ranting, breathing hard. Eowyn looked horrified at my sudden outburst. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to call you sissy." I gave her a weak smile. "You can kick some serious ass."
"Um, thank you…?" she said awkwardly. I could tell that she didn't understand half of what I had just said.
I ran a hand though my hair. "I need some sleep," I said. I started to walk away, but stopped. "I am really sorry about Lilith," I said, without turning back to look at Eowyn.
"That… that's good," Eowyn stuttered. "Feeling bad now will dull the pain later."
"No", I sighed, suddenly feeling every sore spot on my body. "I'm sorry about Lilith… for you, not for me." I walked away without another word.