Confessions on Hotel Paper: Chapter 34
"What if she doesn't make it?" I asked fearfully as Shane waited with me outside the emergency ward of the hospital.
He took me in his arms and held me close to him as I cried into his chest.
"Your mum is strong, I know she will make it."
"How about the baby? I still don't know how I feel about being a sister at this age but if anything happens to the baby it will kill her." I wept.
He rubbed my back assuringly and kissed the top of my head.
"Come on, you haven't eaten anything since dinner last night. Let's go the cafeteria."
I gave in reluctantly and he lead me to the hospital cafeteria, sitting me down on a chair. We only had Shane's father's funeral two weeks beforehand, I couldn't hande having another one especially if it were for my mum who I loved so much.
"I'm just going to grab you a sandwich, i'll be right back."
He kissed the side of my head and I watched him line up and was quite thankful because I was starving. I was seriously over hospitals and I'm sure Shane was too, it probably just made him think of his dad. I was so thankful he was being so strong for me.
He came back to me a few minutes later and I ate the sandwich quickly, "Can we go back now?" I asked.
He shoved the last bite of his own sandwich into his mouth and stood up, "Come on."
When we got back there, my dad was waiting for us. Shane squeezed my hand tightly and my dad looked visibly upset.
"Is she okay?" I asked, my voice cracking.
"Your mum will be fine..." He trailed off.
"And the baby?" I asked tearfully.
He shook his head, "She miscarried."
I let out a sob and Shane hugged me close.
"No." I whispered.
"There were complications, your mother is older which means there are more chances for something to go wrong."
…
It was an hour later that I got to see my mum when she had been moved to a private room.
She was barely awake when I went in.
"Mitchie?" She asked weakly.
"Yeah mum, it's me." I whispered, wiping the tears off my cheeks. I sat down in the chair besides her bed and held her left hand in both of mine, "I love you, mum."
"I love you too sweetie...It just wasn't meant to be." She said sadly, her eyes were watery.
I stood up and got into the hospital bed with her, wrapping my arms around her and burying my head into the crook of her neck. I felt like a child being in the bed with her.
"You tucked me in,
Turned out the light
kept me safe and sound at night
little girls depend on things like that" I sang to her, it was a song I had written for her long ago. My first song ever in fact, yet she had never heard it before.
"Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
had to drive me everywhere
you were always there when I looked back
And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
you would hold my hand and sing to me
Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
don't you worry hold on tight.
I promise you that there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away"
"That was beautiful my wonderful butterfly." She whispered in my ear, holding me close.
We cried together and soon both fell asleep in each other's arms.
...
I woke up late that evening and was surprised to see Shane still waiting. My mum convinced me to go home and that she would be released in a couple days.
Shane drove us home and I went straight upstairs to bed without even taking my shoes off.
Shane closed my bedroom door behind him and came over to the bed and sat on the edge of it.
"You need to get changed." He said, slipping my shoes off my feet for me.
I didn't say anything and he stood up to kiss my forehead.
He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and began to pull it up, I sat upright for him so he could pull it over my head. He grabbed one of his shirts that I wore to bed often and slipped it over me.
I laid back down and he unbuttoned my jeans, pulling them down my legs and throwing them on the floor. I watched him get undressed with a sad smile on my face.
He slipped into the bed with me and held me closely, I buried my head into his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
"I love you." He whispered.
"You too...I'm not tired." I sighed.
"Probably because you slept most the day."
"What did you do while I slept?"
"I waited with your dad. We spoke a bit." He answered me.
"What did you talk about?"
"My music, the music industry but mainly you. I think he wanted to keep his mind off the baby as much as possible, he did seem upset."
"What did he say about me?"
"He never thought you'd become so independent at this age. He didn't think you'd fall in love with a celebrity, he thought you'd always be his girl."
"I really just hope he stays with her and he doesn't cheat again. I just hope that one day I can move in with you, I haven't been with you a year yet but I really do love you and want to marry you one day in five years or so."
"If you don't want to wait, we could get married in Vegas for my birthday."
I sat upright at this, "Are you being serious?"
"Yes," He replied, sitting upright also, "I am being completely serious."
"I'm seventeen Shane and if this is your idea of a proposal-"
He cut me off by kissing me, "It's not a proposal at all, it was a suggestion. You'd only be seventeen so you'd need your parent's approval first anyway."
"As much as i'd love to, I don't think I can marry you yet. I'm seventeen and we haven't been together a year yet. I'm not doubting that we won't make it, I just don't think it's a logical idea."
He kissed the corner of my mouth, making me let out a small smile, "I love you."
"I love you too, Shane."
…
My mum came home two days later and I knew she was upset but wanted to move on. My dad didn't go into work so he could be there for her and they even arranged to go to counseling sessions together.
The following weekend Shane picked me up to take me back to his place. We were going out to dinner near him that night and we planned to chill out beforehand.
"Caitlyn, what are you doing here?" I asked surprised to see her as Shane and I walked into the living room of his house.
Nate had an arm draped over her shoulder and she had the biggest smile plastered over her face.
"Nate asked me to come over to talk." She replied.
Shane gave Nate a look.
"To talk about us." Nate spoke up.
"We've decided to give things a go between us, in a months time we will go out publicly together." Caitlyn said.
"I suggested waiting a month as things still haven't calmed down completely with you two."
"We want to be able to get to know each other properly for a while before having the media on our backs."
"We'll leave you two to it then." Shane said, grabbing my hand and leading me upstairs to his room.
"Are you okay?" He asked me.
"Yeah, I feel really bad for mum though. I don't know how much pain she is feeling or anything and I don't know what to say."
"You just need to be there for her still." He told me, wrapping his arms around me.
"I can't believe Nate and Caitlyn are finally together." I laughed lightly a moment later. "I see double dates in the future."
"I want to talk to you about the future actually."
"What?"
"Not the far off future, the near future. My label was wanting to know if you would record 'This Is Me' with me." He said, "They'd pay you your shares for the songs, you'd be on the radio and this could potentially lead to a record deal for yourself." He went on before I could say a word, "We'd release the song on iTunes and then you could potentially put it on your album!"
I began to nod, "Of course, I don't know how I could turn down recording with you. Thank you so much." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck, "I need some happiness in my life right now, I hope this gives my mum some happiness."
"You are going to be a star one day, I know it'll happen."
"I can't believe it," I whispered, "This is crazy."
"It's really happening so don't ask me to pinch you." He teased.
I kissed his lips as I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off him. He moved me over to his bed and sat down, bringing me onto his lap.
"Maybe I should give you opportunities like this more often." He told me, pulling my shirt over my head.
I giggled at this and pushed him backwards onto the bed.
…
I snuck out of his room a couple hours later to grab a bottle of water. I was surprised to see Caitlyn and Nate downstairs watching a movie as it was quite late and I thought Caitlyn would be gone.
"Busted." She smirked.
I tried pulling Shane's shirt down lower, to cover my legs, and I could feel myself blushing.
"What are you guys doing?" Nate asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Nothing, I'm just thirsty...and wearing Shane's shirt." I added sheepishly.
They both wore a matching look on their face, "Booty call, huh?" Caitlyn grinned.
"Caitlyn, shut up." I groaned, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge.
"I'm sorry." She said, "I'll see you tomorrow, I'm staying in the guest room tonight."
"Goodnight Nate." I said.
"Be safe!" He called out as I left the room.
...
The following weekend, I came back to LA to record 'This Is Me'. My mum was doing a bit better now and she was so happy for me to be recording. I knew she was upset still, she just didn't show it.
"Wow, this is amazing. I don't want to touch anything in case I break something." I gasped as Shane showed me the studio I was recording in.
"You're fine. Just relax."
The whole recording process was so exciting, it was hard work and took a few hours but I felt so accomplished when we had finished.
"I have booked our flight to Vegas the weekend of my birthday. First class."
"I can't afford that Shane." I laughed.
"Think of it as my present to you and no objections. Everyone should be able to enjoy first class once in their life."
Instead of creating an argument I pecked him on the lips, "Thank you. I will have to ask my parents, I can't lie and say I'll just be at your place because most likely photos will be taken and appear on the internet."
"Tell them you need a break and just remind them you can't drink or gamble because you're not twenty-one. They won't need to worry about clubs, tell them we'll hit a show or two."
"But you said you'd be able to get me into clubs." I pointed out.
"They don't need to know that." He winked at me.