Chapter 36

Hermione stood rooted to the spot. She didn't know what to do, so she just stood there with her jaw hanging somewhat. Draco has just revealed a little on his internal workings and it looked a bit chaotic in there. Actually that was an understatement, he was practically unhinged.

She marched back to her room, straight to the fire place. Come to think of it, why hadn't she used this one before, besides the fact that her trunk would never fit in this one.

She called for the Burrow and stuck her head in.

"Pansy!" She yelled. "I need to talk to you."

She yelled a couple more times before Pansy opened the door and stepped in the room.

"Hermione." She said coolly. "I'm kind of busy."

She was dressed in a tight top with a tiny skirt. A strange outfit.

"Is that a riding crop?" Hermione asked. "Are you going riding?" Odd outfit for going riding in.

Pansy smiled. "Just waiting for Ron to get home."

Hermione started to ask, but decided midway through that she was probably going to get a disturbing answer, knowledge she could definitely live without.

"Is Malfoy mental?" Hermione demanded.

"Uhh…" Pansy started. "You're going to have to be more specific."

Hermione didn't know where to start, or how to explain.

"He said he wanted to rub himself all over my belly like a cat on catnip." Hermione finally said.

"Oh." Pansy said. "Kinky."

"No, not in a kinky way, I think, more in a muh hah hah way."

"Right, well he does keep thing to himself as a general rule, but I haven't noticed any particular cognitive deficiencies. But then we're purebloods, some level of insanity is pretty much guaranteed. And then it comes to Draco, there is perhaps the question of whether its just you."

"What?"

"Come on Hermione, you must have noticed that he always paid special attention to you." Pansy said. "You drew his eyes like a magnet every time you walked in the room. You wouldn't believe how much I used to hate it. Funny to think we would kind of end up as friends."

Hermione would never go as far as to call Pansy a friend, but considering what they've been through lately, maybe it wasn't a far cry from an official friendship.

"What are you trying to say?" Hermione said trying to return to the conversation. "He objected to absolutely everything about me including the poisoning of the air from my breathing."

"Yes well, there is that. But maybe he objected so strenuously not because you rubbed him the wrong way, maybe because you rubbed him the right way."

Hermione snorted. "That's ridiculous."

Pansy cocked her head to the side. "And then things changed and practically the first thing he did was forcing you into his bed."

"That was for securing his line."

"True, but he picked you. The one person that has been rubbing him in all the sensitive places. He could've chosen absolutely anyone, but he chose you."

"What are you trying to say? Mr. I-don't-believe-in-love has a secret crush on the mudblood?" She said making it sound as ridiculous as it was.

"Well, he might not believe in love, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it."

Pansy's answers were not making her feel better, they were just making things more confusing.

"He said I ruined things." Hermione said.

"I don't know." Pansy said with a shrug. "You're talking to the wrong person, you know."

Hermione gritted her teeth and pulled out of the fire. She was angry as a bee. Angry at being jerked around. She didn't know what to do. Obviously, Draco's blocking of the floo network could be circumnavigated pretty easily, and he really couldn't stop her from leaving. However, she wasn't sure she was ready to leave without getting to the bottom of what was going on here.

She needed to think, to mull over what he had said, what Pansy had said. It didn't make sense. The idea that Draco Malfoy was in love with her was so ridiculous that it didn't merit thinking about, but then there were his actions which Pansy seemed to completely misconstrue. And the ridiculously part of her that was jumping up and down fully believing that this was perfect, and that happy endings and happily ever after was perfectly reasonable. Albeit it was a tiny little bit, it was surprisingly vocal. Not that she gave much credence to it.

She took her dinner in her room. Anger still simmered under the surface as she ate. She came to the conclusion that she needed to have it out with him. Whatever was going on she wanted to clear the air before she left. Or this would be hanging around teasing her forever.

She tried to think of ways to have this conversation, but it sounded stupid anyway she started it. She couldn't even think of a good location. Would she be better off with other people around?

No she needed to do this now. Needed to clear everything up nice and neat.

She concluded that there wasn't going to be a nice and neat way of doing it, it just needed to be done. And there was no time like the present, so why put it off.

She took a couple of deep breaths and stepped out of her room. The house was quiet. It was dark now. It must be getting a bit late.

He wasn't in his study which meant he was either upstairs or out. She hoped he wasn't out because she didn't want to put this off. She went upstairs and knocked briefly on his door before stepping inside.

He was there. Sitting in his bed reading some documents.

"We need to talk." She said. "You want to put on some clothes?" He was sitting in bed with pyjama pants only.

"No." He said. "Why is this going to take long?" The cool exterior was back in place.

Hermione instincts were telling her to turn around and leave, but she didn't back away from a situation just because it was uncomfortable. And this needed to be resolved. Except she had no idea where to start and he wasn't helping.

The silence stretched on.

"I have some work to do." He finally said.

"Why did you pick me?" She demanded.

"We've talked about this before. Circumstances has lead to the conclusion that new blood with strengthen us and you are new blood."

"There are other options of 'new blood'," she said, "so why me?"

"If you're going to go for something, might as well go for the best. As a mudblood you are the newest of all."

"You had other options."

"Are you fishing for compliments?"

"I want to know why I'm here." She said with a raised voice. "Pansy says you're in love with me."

"Pansy's full of shit." He said with a snort. "And she's stirring."

"So what was that about you wanting to rub yourself all over my belly?" She asked and he looked uncomfortable, avoiding her eyes. Oh there was definitely something he was hiding, she thought. "Which kind of begs the question, why did you turn me away the other night?"

"Just wasn't in the mood." He said and crossing his arms.

"Really?" She said coming closer to the bed. "A guy your age, not in the mood when offered. I'm not entirely sure that's possible."

"It's possible, besides, been there, done that." He said. "And maybe I'm not into…growing girls."

"Although you've already let slip that you find my bump practically mind altering." She said and sat down on the bed next to him.

"What do you want, Hermione?" He said with exasperation.

"I just want to know what's going on in that twisted head of yours."

"Well, I'm not in love with you if that's what you think. And if you listen to the stupid things Pansy says, then you're just stupid."

"Eloquent." She said. "As I recall, you said that you loved that you had me here."

"A throw away statement, meant to shock you."

"Really?" She said. "And how exactly did I ruin things?"

She watched as his mouth tightened with displeasure. "Did I ruin things because somehow we always end up kissing?" She couldn't believe how bold she was. She brought her hand up and placed it high in his chest. His skin was warm and smooth, and she watched as goose bumps prickled his skin.

"You need to go." He said.

"I am going." She said. "I'm leaving."

He grabbed her wrist as she was moving down his chest.

"But before I go, lets talk about how I ruined things."

"I said it was nothing."

"Let's explore it anyway." She said. Time to see how he reacted. She leant towards his lips. She just wanted to gauge his reaction. She didn't kiss him, she just got really close. "Did I ruin things because I wanted you?"

He wasn't breathing. "Did you want me because I didn't want you?" She continued, so close to him she could feel her own breath bouncing back. She decided that she wouldn't kiss him, it would be too distracting and they would probably never finish this conversation, so she slowly dropped her head towards his chest instead and placed the merest kiss on the pale skin on his chest. He was breathing now, heavily. Goose bumps raised around the skin she kissed.

"Was that the plan, Draco? You were going to keep me here at arms length. A save distance." She said and kissing his skin moving up towards his neck where she could see his strong pulse beating under the pale skin. His head was coming down seeking her. He wanted her to kiss him, although he might not be aware of it.

"You are one messed up boy." She said. Her hands were exploring the warm skin on his waist. He was so incredibly warm, she just wanted to sink down and draw it in. But she pulled back. She wasn't going to force this on him and she certainly wasn't going to seduce him, although obviously she could.

No, he was going to have to front up with a bit of feelings and maybe some wounded pride if necessary.

"If you want me, you're going to have to admit your feelings." She said. He looked at her with intense dislike. He might even hate her. "Or I'm leaving."