Okay, guys, I'm doing something a little different with this chapter.
I thought I would give you some insight on Dimitri.
I know all of you have been wanting this. Maybe that's why I haven't been getting reviews?
Forgive any mistakes; I didnt have time to beta this!
Hope you like it!
Much love,
~~~Carmen
My POV
Dimitri stood there staring after Nicca; watching until her shadow faded into the blackness.
It wasn't very often he and Nicca would fight, but when they did, it got explosive. She didn't back down from him; from anyone. She told him what she thought and how she felt about whatever was bothering her.
Although, this should never have happened in public. Dimitri was not one to air his dirty laundry in front of others. He knew he and Nicca had drew the attention of a few people. But at the time, he just didn't give a rat's ass.
It was true what she had just told him, and she had called him on it. Just like he knew she would. But he didn't want to admit it to anyone, let alone himself.
He had been pining after Rose.
He knew on some level that it had shone through to others. But he thought they would all get over it. Especially if they thought he and Nicca were an item.
And they had.
Even though they weren't. Yes, at one time she had been sort of a girlfriend of his; not anymore, though. That had been a very long time ago. High school days. To him that felt like lifetime ago.
For the last two years she had been nothing but a very good friend. He didn't bother to correct anyone on the point of them being lovers. Mainly because he didn't want to out Nicca and Lila.
They were the ones who were a couple. He knew how Moroi, and yes, even the dhampirs, felt about their kind being gay. About Moroi, too. It just wasn't …right?
In their eyes there were just too few of both races, let alone for them not to reproduce. A lot of Moroi, the majority, felt that all female dhampirs should at least bear one child, then go back into service as a guardian; leaving the child in the care of an academy.
Being gay to them was just a forbidden taboo. Something that just was not accepted among them.
Which, in his eyes, was none of their damn business. Everyone should be able to live how they wanted as long as no one got hurt in the process. As long as they were happy about their choices. As long as they did what was for the best for their selves.
He couldn't and wouldn't stand for anyone criticizing his friends.
He also knew that once it came out, they were in for a world of gossiping. He didn't want to stand by and let that happen. Nicca and Lila were some of his very close friends; gay or no.
They had been with him through all of the turmoil that had took place while he was hunting for Rose. Hunting and hurting. They had stood by him. Those ladies had help ease his pain.
Some thing's you just couldn't repay no matter how hard you tried. That debt that was just too high.
Everyone already had an idea that Lila was a lesbian, but they didn't even suspect that Nicca was. And he preferred to leave it that way. Not because he thought it was wrong. He just didn't want her getting hurt by all of the judging that was sure to follow once their world found out about it. She was kind of a sensitive soul. She got her feelings hurt very easily.
She was one of his very best friends. They both were.
He hated to argue with Nicca, but he knew she had been right. He did need to talk to Rose. He had to get closure. One way or another he would make her talk to him. Eventually.
He stood there twirling the gold band on his finger round and round. Something he had come to do so very often. It sort of had became a mechanism for his stress release.
The same ring in which his grandmother had given to him. It had been given to her by his Moroi grandfather. The band had actually belonged to his grandfather. It had come in a set. It was a set of wedding bands. His grandmother had gave him both of them.
Yeva's wedding band was tucked away underneath his shirt; hanging on a chain, along with Rose's nazar. He had never gave it to Lissa. He did give her the chotki though. That had belonged in her family; not with him.
His grandparents had been very deeply in love. His grandfather had been killed when his grandmother was pregnant with his mother.
His grandparents had planned on getting married before his grandfather was murdered by Strigoi's.
That was one little known fact in his world, but it was true. His grandmother had been his grandfathers guardian up until she had found out she was pregnant. She was not, however, a blood whore. She had set him straight on that point.
His grandfather had made her quit guarding him; or anyone for that matter. She had put up one hell of a fight about it, too. But in the end, his grandfather had won the battle.
And so, she had 'retired' from her guardian profession. It was only a week later that there was an attack on his grandfather and his guardian. He had gotten another guardian, a male, and both of them had been killed in the onslaught.
Dimitri's grandmother had only told him the story once, when he was a child, but he had remembered it all the way up into his adult life.
He had learned later on that his grandfather had actually been from one of the royal families, but she wouldn't tell him which one.
And so to pay an homage of sort to his grandparents' love, he had engraved his and his love's nickname on both the gold band's.
Roza. Comrade.
The date that they had decided to not fight their relationship any longer was inscribed underneath the names. Though, the words were written in Russian and not English.
Band's that had been given to a woman in love, had passed the very same item's on to her grandson that was in love.
It didn't matter that he had put his and Rose's name's on the band's. There was only one woman in which he would ever have given that ring to. So it didn't matter about what was on them. No one else would be getting it besides her.
But by the looks of it, not even she would be getting it now. She had been giving him the cold shoulder ever since he had caught up with her. He knew she was lost at the moment. She had a lot of catching up to do with other people and not just him. So he decided he could bide his time.
There was still a small sliver of hope in him that one day him and Rose would get back together. And stay that way. He hoped.
When he had first came back from Russia two years ago with the band on, and Nicca by his side, everyone just assumed that it meant that he and her were together. In a relationship. No one ever questioned it.
Accept for Adrian.
He had put two and two together and came up with four. He had took one look at the band with the inscription, and knew immediately what was going on. But he never did out him for it.
He and Adrian had grown closer over the years. Confidants. Someone he could talk to about it, aside from Nicca and Lila. One thing he never would've thought possible.
But it had happened. One reason was because Adrian knew what he had been going through because he had gone through a similar thing himself.
Dimitri had saw the storm in Rose's eyes when she had spotted the gold band. He knew she had thought just like everyone else had:
He and Nicca were lovers. A couple.
And that was one of the reason's why Nicca had wanted him to talk to Rose. Explain to her that that was not the case.
Loving Rose had always, to him, been as easy as breathing. Easier, even.
Trampling around this city or that; this state or that; this country or that one; Nicca had known how it was hurting him time and time again when they failed find Rose.
She had always known. So had Lila. And they were concerned for him.
Motel after motel, them seeing how disappointing it was for him not to find her had been crushing to them as well.
He could understand how Rose had been thinking, but he still wanted to hear it from her for his self. If things had been reversed and he was the one endangering her, he supposed he would've done the same thing she had. He would have bailed on her for her own safety.
He would've done anything to keep her out of harms way, too. He always did want to keep her safe. Even at the expense of his own happiness.
He stomped across court, heading in the direction of the Guardians' boarding area. All the way there he couldn't help but think about those first few weeks after Rose had ditched him.
Flashback: A little over 3 year's ago.
With Rose gone, once he got discharged from the hospital, he went back to the Royal Court. Hoping that she would contact Lissa and possibly even him.
For weeks on end he would wake up in a fog of disbelief that she had really left him in that hospital. It took nearly six months before he truly accepted that she would not be returning. Nor calling him for help.
Calling him for anything.
That was the most alone he had ever felt in his entire life. He knew there were rumors back at the academy that he was a loner, but those rumors would be substantially larger if they had been spread around in that point of his life. Mainly because he was substantially more of a loner than anyone thought possible. Even him.
A whisper of his removal to life had traveled far and wide across court. He had become something of a living corpse.
There was no one to talk to about the day he was having. No one to laugh with over a silly joke. No one to lean on him; or one for him to lean on.
No one period.
No body was really too baffled about his actions; they all knew it was related to Rose.
At one point, he just wanted to shut out the world and everything in it. He just wanted the world to stop turning so he could fly right off the surface of it and disappear into outer space.
Eventually he went back home to his mothers house. He packed his duffel bag on a whim and took the first plane there. A sudden and wordless departure. He didn't tell anyone bye, nor where he was going.
Flashback 2 1/2 years ago.
His grandmother was waiting on the porch when he arrived. Not like that was some kind of a shocker. He knew she had a gift. And she had foreseen his arrival home.
"Dimka," she said. "How nice of you to come see me before I grow too old and not remember your name." She tried to make it sound sarcastic, but they both knew she understood what had been happening to him.
He gave her a tired smile. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on the cheek. "It's good to see you, Grandmother." They both spoke English; not reverting to their native tongue.
They were alone in the house all that day and most of the night. She had told him what she had laid witness to ever since he had been turned. And everything since him having his soul returned. It was truly uncanny how she would know of such things; it alwys had been.
She also told him that he would find love again.
He didn't believe that last part.
How could he find love again without his Roza?
She had just gave him a rueful smile and a knowing look, but didn't discuss it any farther.
He had stayed at his mother's house, moping for over a month. No one wanted to make him discuss his problems. Everyone knew he was in pain.
One day his grandmother came to his room and gave him a rude awakening.
"Boy, you have wallowed in your own self pity long enough," she'd said. "It's time for you do get your carcass out of this room and back out into the world."
He didn't dare tell her that he didn't want to be out in the world. He didn't dare tell her he had lost everything that had meant anything to him.
Mostly for fear of her anger. That, and a switch across his backside.
She may have been half his size, but she had a mean streak a mile wide. She wouldn't hesitate to remind him of that, either.
And so, with that visit, she proceeded to kick him out of the house. He knew she meant nothing by it.
She only wanted him to get back on his own two feet again. Before he left that day, she approached him. She was just like a mother bird trying to make her baby bird fly for the first time. Trying to make him realize that he did have the courage and strength that she knew was already laying within him. The things that he didn't see or couldn't feel at the time.
Looking him levelly, she said "Love will find it's way to you, my Grandson." She looked deeply into his eyes; as if she were searching for something. She must have found it , because he saw the glint shine in her own eyes.
"Believe me or not, Son, it will. And when it does, just be patient and kind. That's what love is all about. it's a give and take relationship." She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She patted it with one hand, and said, "Now, off with you. The sooner you leave the sooner you will find love."
She gave him a long, lingering look. And then she gave him a wide grin. It took him aback because he had never seen her do that before. He smiled back at her, giving her a nod.
She pressed something cold and hard into the palm of his hands. He looked down at his hands when she brought her's away.
There, laying in the center of his palm, were two gold bands. He had seen them before and knew exactly what they were. He started to protest, but she shook her head sharply; not wanting to hear any objections.
He stashed them in the front pocket of his jeans, feeling the cold metal through the fabric.
Then he walked down the porch steps and never looked back.
That was the day he had met up with Nicca and Lila. Ever since then they had been partners in a great search for Rose and Tasha.
Dimitri finally made it back to his room. He didn't bother about turning on a light; nor taking a shower. He just kicked off his shoe's and went to bed. Hoping that the next day a miracle would happen.
Now don't you feel bad about trashing Nicca? Hmm?
Do you feel a little bit better now that you know what is going on with our favorite Russian?
Much love,
~~~Carmen