Title: Lame Clothes and Therapists and Stuff Like That
Word Count: 613
Summary: Uryu thought it would be fun to surprise Kon with an entire wardrobe. Which he'd worked very hard on. And which certainly wasn't lame.
Requested by: The Layman: Uryu suddenly surprising Kon with an entire wardrobe sounds like it has potential...
The lights dimmed. Kon stood in front of a makeshift runway, a skeptical look on his face. Well, as skeptical of a look as a stuffed lion could have. Uryu stood behind the curtain that there was somehow enough room for – seriously, when had Ichigo's room grown this much? And where had the bed gone to?
Orihime poked her head out of the closet – wait a minute, wasn't Rukia in the closet? Heh, Rukia was in the closet. Well, not right now, Orihime was.
Kon, momentarily distracted by his immaturity, didn't hear what Orihime had said. But she looked worried. Kon wondered what was going on. Why was he here? Besides the fact that he lived here. Why was Uryu here? He didn't mind Orihime here, she could stay over anytime she wanted. Wink wink. Yeah. That was meant to be more inappropriate than it sounded.
Uryu rushed to the closet and looked head inside. Kon, curious by nature, decided to go check it out, too. Especially since a little gold paper star that said 'Dressing Room' was taped to the door.
A million dirty thoughts raced through his head, and he ran for the closet. Right before he got there, however, Uryu slammed the door shut. "Crises averted," he muttered, looking rather pleased with himself. Kon flopped down on the floor, sighing. He never got to do anything.
After a few more 'crises averted' moments – which always happened right before he got to see what the crises was in the first place – the lights completely turned off. Kon sat up, eyes wide. What was happening? Why couldn't he see?
And then a random spotlight turned on. Kon jumped, shielding his eyes. Uryu's voice, obviously trying to sound deep, seemed to be heard from a set of nonexistent speakers. "And now, the new fashion line for the typical Mod Soul lion."
"That's oddly specific," Kon muttered.
"First we have our Shinigami uniform replica. With a few alterations."
A random lion plushie walked down the runway, wearing what looked to be a Shinigami uniform. Except obviously made for a girl. It was cinched at the waist, kind of princess-y, and, when she turned around, he saw that stupid cross on the back.
For some reason, his paw went to the back of his head.
Uryu was blabbering on about the fabrics and whatever he'd done to them and et cetera. Kon basically ignored him.
The next outfit was at least a little cool. It was all… pirate-y. Except the skirt. Yeah, Kon would trade those in for some pants.
He was basically blocking out what Uryu said now, but the next outfit made him burst out laughing. It was a copy of what Uryu wore when he was slaying hollows. Cape, glasses, and all. The lights turned back on. "What is so funny?" Uryu snapped.
"Dude, these are all lame," Kon said, grinning.
"Now, tell me where you think you got your low self-confidence from?" the weirdly-familiar-sounding therapist asked, hiding his face behind a purple-and-black fan. His hair was covered with a purple-and-black striped bucket hat, and he was wearing what looked like Kisuke Urahara's clothing, only in tones of purple.
"Well…" Uryu sniffled. He'd obviously been crying. Kisuke Urahara – uh, weirdly-familiar-sounding therapist – rolled his eyes. "I… I always prided myself on my sewing abilities… b-but yesterday someone called them lame!"
"I swear, if I didn't need the money, I would be way more selective about who I… therapied? No, helped would be better," weirdly-familiar-sounding therapist muttered under his breath. Uryu, who had burst into tears again, didn't notice.
It really was sad that Uryu Ishida was the most intelligent child in his grade.
The thought of Urahara as a therapist never gets old to me… Expect more therapist!Urahara, because I'm almost in love with that idea as I am with Akon or Mizuiro x Tatsuki.