Hey, everybody! I know I haven't updated in a while, but blame it on my faulty computer.

Snape: No, by all means, blame it on her.

Shut up. No one asked for your two knuts. *Giggles* If you even have knuts at all...

Snape: *growls* Just get on with what you were saying, woman.

Anyway, as I was saying before I was so /rudely/ interrupted. I would like to issue a request from a few of my loyal readers. Now, I have long been wanting a picture of the YGF crowd, but I cannot draw even a recognizable stick-figure. So I would like to ask for some art from those of you who, unlike me, /can/ draw. You may draw it anyway you like, but I would prefer if it had most of the main cast in it (i.e. Marie, Gimli and the Fellowship). I will give the artist or artists recognition, a designated place for their artwork in the next chapter or chapters of YGF2 as well as an additional bonus prize of a short story about whatever LotR thing they have in mind. You may reach me via email which I will provide for those who express interest in their comments ;)

Snape: You're wasting your time. No one wants to bother with drawing something for your stupid story.

Yet another motivation, my dear readers. Prove him wrong!

Snape: If you do not end this soon, then I will end YOU!

I own nothing.

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" Ellie heard above the pained shouts and pleadings of the demons. She rolled her eyes. Snape could be so...Snapey sometimes.

"I think he's getting much more enjoyment out of this than he should be..." Alex said awkwardly.

"He's probably just imagining it's Marie that he's torturing." Jareth smirked as another particularly loud demonic screech came from behind them. "Ooh. Now he's heating up the sporks like they do with iron brands!"

"Does anyone else feel sorry for them?" Ichabod cleared his throat timidly. "I mean...even demons don't deserve-"

"It was more humane than sending in Austin. He would have seduced them to death. Perhaps even killing himself in the process." Willy pointed out with a sly smirk. "And we all know what a tragedy *that* would be, don't we?" They all glared at Austin.

Austin put up his hands to defend himself. "Hey, now! What about if you all had sent in Edward?"

"Oh damn.." Ellie said clapping her hands to her mouth. "He's right." She gasped weakly. "They would have been slowly sparkled into oblivion!"

"What painful way to die." Tarrant mused with a strange grin on his face. "How utterly..malevolent..you might even say it would be..hellish?"

Everyone groaned and slapped him for the corny joke. Meanwhile, Snape had left the demons for the moment and joined the tiny group. "I have tried everything." He declared in a somewhat depressed and somber tone. "Sporks up their nails, heating the things up and pressing them into their skin, I even force-fed them brussel sprouts via spork! Nothing works!"

"Have you made them listen to Justin Bieber yet? Or Rebecca Black?"

Snape's head jerked up and an malicious glint lit up his pitch-black eyes. "No, I have not. It seems that all is not lost!" And he went back to cheerfully torturing and this time whistling a merry tune.

"Again, I do believe that he is enjoying this too much." Alex shook his head and sent a pitying look over his shoulder at the small group of intruders.

"Oh, let him have his fun." Alucard chuckled. "It seems to me that he never has any."

Ellie whirled around. "First, the only reason he doesn't have fun is because what he calls 'fun' usually involves the harming of small fluffy creatures and/or innocent bystanders. Second, WHEN DID YOU GET HERE? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO SNEAK UP ON ME?! YOU COULD GET PUNCHED!"

He slipped an arm around her waist, causing her to glare and grumble at him. "I can take a bullet, I believe I can bear a punch from you, dearest."

Her eyes lit up with a mean light. "But, *dearest* I could always hide your coffin."

All signs of joking left him. "You wouldn't." His eyes widened at her straight face. "You would. *You naughty girl.*"

She stared him right in the eye. "If you ever say that to me again, I will stake you and I'm not talking treating you to a T-Bone."

He suddenly let out a laugh and pulled her close. "Yes, but I might be treating you to a T-Boner-"

SMACK!

Jareth casually juggled four crystals in one hand. "And that is why I have pledged never to tell a dirty joke if the object of my affections is violent. I practice safe innuendos."

The last two canons had been safe. It seemed that those portals in both Jareth's canon and in Jack's the portals had closed by themselves. Right now though, she was playing Frogger with Thackory..in the sense that she was constantly dodging teacups and other such tea-ware.

Mally, of course, wasn't exactly helping. She was dueling Chessire for the possession of Hatter's hat, which the slick feline had once again somehow managed to steal.

Bubba finally picked up Thackory by his ears and the March Hare dropped the teacups and stared with big eyes and droopy whiskers at him. "You're silly." Bubba chuckled. "Stop throwing stuff."

"S-s-spoon?" Thackory held up teaspoon.

"Even spoons." Bubba said admonishingly before setting the him back on the table.

Marie grinned and happily went back to work sealing the portal. "Now it's back to Hellboy's canon." He snatched up and she gripped the horns on his back tightly. "You know, my luck has been surprisingly good for a while now. I hope it will last." She snapped her mouth shut, then facepalmed. "Son of a schnozzberry! I hope I didn't just jinx myself!"