The moment he saw Daniel one of the guards lifted his staff weapon. For a moment Jack, who was looking around the corner, worried that his teammate was Jaffa toast. A second later he had to suppress a grin. Daniel held up his hands, looking suitably humble and a little stupid, and began to prattle.

"Uh – sorry – I'm sorry. My Master asked me to come and get him. I think I took a wrong turn somewhere. I'm looking for the banquet hall. But this looks like I've come the wrong way. I have a terrible sense of direction – my Master get's angry at me all - "

"This is not the banquet hall," the Jaffa growled, interrupting the flow of words. "Turn around stupid slave or I will have to report to your Master that you got yourself killed!"

"What? No, no – I'm just lost. I'm going, I promise!" He began to back away slowly, the guard following him with his weapon held high. The other guard followed a few steps, watching with a smirk on his face.

The distraction was just what Jack needed. The two guards had moved far enough away from the door that hopefully the zat – when it hit them – wouldn't be heard inside the room. It also meant that the sound of two Jaffa falling was less obvious.

A moment later and the Jaffa were gone.

Daniel looked at Jack with concern. He had never seen his friend so intent on wiping out all Jaffa in his path. Unless he'd been forced to, Jack had never resorted to simply killing any that got in his way. He wondered briefly if Jack was out of control.

"I knew them," Jack said, seeming to understand what Daniel was thinking. "They weren't – nice".

Daniel gave a nod – suddenly understanding what Jack had done even though it continued to worry him. Still, he couldn't waste much time thinking about it right now. They had to get into Raijin's quarters.

Jack gave an answering nod and the two men headed back to the doorway. Daniel took a deep breath and waited for the signal. After a few seconds – when it hadn't come – he looked over at his friend. "Damn!" he muttered to himself when he saw the Colonel.

Jack had been fine – at least that's what he told himself – until he got close to the doorway. Suddenly all the memories had rushed back in, instantly crippling him. The feel, the look, the smell of the place brought everything starkly to the fore.

His stomach cramped in fear and the sweat instantly formed on his skin. He began to tremble and stood frozen, his mind totally in the past. His eyes were staring down – down on the ground where he'd travelled. He could see the scratches on the base of the door – each one recognized and remembered.

How many times had he crawled – had he been dragged to this room to "entertain" Raijin? How often had he been laughed at, humiliated, tortured behind that door, just for the amusement of the Jaffa or their Master? He didn't know because one day had soon faded into another. He'd lost all ability to tell time, to know what was real and what was a nightmare – but he did know this door, and he knew what was on the other side.

And he couldn't go there. Not again, never again. He couldn't breathe and started to pull at his shirt, wanting to rip it off. He wanted to run, to flee, but his feet were frozen to the ground. He was sure he was going to be sick – but he couldn't be, they'd punish him for that, they'd punished him many times for that.

He'd been forced to do awful things, to endure hideous things every time he'd been sick because of the fear or the pain. He'd finally learned to stop himself, to hold in the bile so as not to endure more pain, more suffering, more humiliation.

But sometimes he hadn't been able to – hadn't been able to control himself or his body. And they'd laughed at him – and then punished him again.

God – he had to leave. He had to get out of here. He had to run!

"Jack!"

No – he was Surebu. He was nothing, a lowly, dirty slave. His knees bent and he began to sink to the ground – where he was supposed to be.

"Jack!"

Don't call me that, he screamed silently to himself – they will punish me for allowing anyone to use his name!

"Colonel!" a hand touched his arm and he looked up in panic – to find concerned eyes looking at him. He blinked. It wasn't a Jaffa – it wasn't Raijin. Who was it? He blinked again and began to breathe. The world began to right itself and he felt himself return to the present, although his heart still beat too fast.

"Dan'l?"

"It's me J – Colonel. It's me. You're okay – it was just a flashback." Daniel squatted down and then reached out and put his arm around Jack and pulled him close, giving him a hug. "You're okay now – you're fine. Come on – let's go. We need to get out of here."

He attempted to get Jack to stand, to move – to leave the corridor. His friend wasn't up to this. Why had Jacob thought – why had any of them thought that Jack could handle this? Of course he couldn't. He was still wounded, still dealing with the trauma. "Come on, let's get out of here before they find us."

Jack stumbled after Daniel for a few steps, breathing rapidly and trying to make sense of where he was and what was happening. It took him a few seconds but he eventually realized that he'd just suffered a panic attack – and a flashback. He closed his eyes briefly but then he stopped.

"Wait," he told Daniel. "Just – wait." He stood there, again trying to get his heart to slow and his mind to settle. He eventually got himself reasonably under control. There were a few moments of calm when a new emotion hit him square between the eyes. It was shame. Shame for having been so foolish, so week. Shame for having allowing himself to be tortured and practically destroyed, shame for dragging his friends into this. What was wrong with him? It had been a door, for God's sake. He licked his lips and forced himself to stand straight.

"I'm okay," he finally said, his face still showing the stress of a few moments ago, although his eyes were clear. "Sorry about that – just a – memory."

"Mmm. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, his lips turning up in a small but sincere smile. "Just anything Goa'uld makes me nauseated."

"Yeah," Daniel grinned, feeling quite relieved, "me too. Come on – let's get going."

"Going?" Jack frowned. "But we haven't finished our mission."

"Jack – you just had a panic attack – or something – back there. I don't think you're ready for this. We can come back some other time."

"Some other time? Daniel, this isn't the mall we're talking about. We're not coming back later to do this. We're here now – so let's get the bastard."

"Jack – you could barely stand back there. In fact I thought you were going to pass out. What do you think you're going to do? Waltz in there and just shoot Raijin?"

"Uh – yeah, that's about it, although I would like him to die more slowly if possible."

"Jack," Daniel breathed out in frustration. "Come on – I don't think this is a good idea."

"I don't really care what you think Daniel. Now let's do this." Without further discussion Jack moved to the door and input the code into the door panel. Kal'trek had managed to secure the code – how Jack had no idea and right now he couldn't have cared less.

With a soft woosh the door opened and he stepped inside the room – for the first time walking in as a man, not crawling as an animal.

The room was lit softly and he could hear the sound of music softly playing. He glanced at Daniel, who had followed him in, and then took a few silent steps forward. They were in the outer room – the lounge area. Behind the wall was Raijin's bedroom – a place where Jack had experiences things he refused to think about.

He motioned to his companion and the two men advanced slowly on the door to the other room. This one was an old-fashioned door, with a handle rather than an electronic panel. The Colonel stopped in front of it and took a deep breath – almost immediately gagging as the smell brought back all sorts of feelings.

He refused to let himself go there and so straightened and nodded at Daniel. Biting his lip he counted to three – and then turned the handle and opened the door.

And walked into hell. At least this was his version of hell. He advanced nonetheless – his eyes focused on the huge canopied bed. He could hear someone, he assumed Raijin, grunting – under laden with the sounds of soft crying.

He knew what was happening. Raijin had brought someone to his bed – clearly someone unwilling. Probably a slave girl – or boy – Raijin was indiscriminate in his taste. With another deep breath Jack surged forward and threw the curtains surrounding the bed back, to find Raijin on top of a young slave girl, ferociously pumping into her.

He heard another grunt – this time from behind – but before he had a chance to turn something hit him across the back, sending waves of pain through him and forcing him to his knees.

He gasped but tried to turn, when he was hit again. This time he ended up on his stomach – and face – on the floor. A moment later and an electric current shot through him. He'd been zatted.

When he came to it was to still find himself on his stomach but now his wrists and ankles were shackled and his feet drawn up and hog-tied to his wrists. He tried to turn, to find out what had happened to Daniel but something struck the back of his head, bashing his face into the floor.

"Aaagh!" he groaned, tasting blood in his mouth. He could also feel the trickle of even more blood from his nose. He decided the best thing was to stay still and wait to see what was going to happen.

The thought had barely been decided on when hands reached into his hair and pulled his head back. The tugging on his hair wasn't gentle and made his eyes water. It was also hard on his neck, considering the already uncomfortable position in which he found himself.

Again his face was shoved into the floor and this time he could feel at least one tooth break. He was also pretty sure his nose had been broken as well.

"So – you have come back to me Surebu?" Raijin's soft voice sent shivers up his spine. The next moment he felt a hand in his hair – but this time it simply stroked his head. He could feel the panic grow and a scream rose in his throat. Before it had time to escape, two more hands grabbed his arms and the next thing he knew he was rolled over on to his side, his arms and feet still pulled awkwardly back.

Even through his growing panic he knew he had to find Daniel. He'd never forgive himself if they had killed him. His eyes quickly perused the room and he breathed a sigh of relief to see his friend's eyes staring at him.

Daniel too was bound – and a gag was around his mouth – but he was alive. Jack's eyes closed briefly. There was still hope.

"You missed me, didn't you?" Raijin continued to kneel beside Jack and he smiled but this time stroked Jack's face – his very bruised and battered face. "I knew you would be back – because you know you belong to me. You are my pet!" The Goa'uld laughed and stood. "But you dare to try and act like a man! That is not acceptable my pet, my Surebu. Iwai – bring his collar and chains, and remove his clothes. Animals do not wear clothes."

Raijin turned away and walked over to the slave girl still cowering on his bed. He reached out and fondled her breast, causing her to whimper in fear. That seemed to anger the Goa'uld and he struck her across the face, sending her flying to the floor where he proceeded to kick her until she was unconscious.

"Zatesh, remove her!" Raijin instructed. "You may have her, if you wish. If not you may choose another for your use. You deserve a reward for your faithful service."

"Yes my Lord, thank you my Lord."

It was only at that moment that Jack had noticed the slave standing in the corner. Damn – he should have realized that the slave would have rushed and warned his master. They should have tied him up somewhere.

"So – Iwai will soon return," the Sadistic Bastard said conversationally, "and when he does he will return you to your cage. Of course you will have to be punished first for your disobedience. Clearly I was too kind to you before and you harbored the belief that you deserved freedom. We will make sure that this time you will be unable to leave."

Jack had no idea what was planned for him, but he expected it would be bad. His only hope was Jacob and Kal'trek since he was pretty sure that Raijin knew about Sam and Teal'c. He wondered briefly where they were – refusing to believe they had been killed.

He listened to Raijin serve himself a drink – surprised that he didn't have a servant waiting on him. He rarely remembered a time when the Goa'uld did anything for himself. Although that thought was swiftly followed by memories of things the Bastard had done – to him.

He closed his eyes, sudden despair washing over him. What had he done? Why had he insisted on coming? Revenge was not worth the death of good people, of his friends. Maybe he could strike a deal with Raijin? Promise faithful service if he let them go.

He sighed, knowing that there was no use. Raijin really didn't want him to be a faithful servant. He wanted a plaything, a pet who he could use cruelly, who he could torment, forever.

"Ah – here you are!" The door had opened and Jack could hear steps and the sound of clinking. His chains.

A moment later Iwai tried to put the collar around his neck – and he went berserk. There really wasn't anything he could do, not shackled as he was, but that didn't matter. Anger, hate, terror and pure adrenaline caused him to roll over and bash Iwai with his head. He was already bloody and bruised so what was a little more?

The Jaffa fell down, this time his face was bloody. Jack immediately rolled to the side and used his elbow and pushed it as hard as he could into Iwai's mouth. He heard the shattering of teeth and heard a howl.

For a few minutes he was able to do some damage until he was hit across the back with something that drove all the air from his lungs. Raijin had come to his Prime's rescue.

A couple of minutes later Iwai had regained his feet – a severely bloodied Iwa, who proceeded to kick Jack unconscious.

He woke up and this time really was in hell. He was naked – his hands chained behind him still although he was no longer hog-tied. The collar was around his neck and he was back in his cage.

He laid his head down and closed his eyes in complete despair. Raijin was right. What had made him think that he deserved to be free?