"So, Castillon is dead?"
All of Hawke's companions, and her new-found cousin Charade sat at a table in The Hanged Man, playing a game of Diamondback. There was silence following Aveline's question. She had just touched on the subject that those who had been there wanted to avoid. Varric picked up his jigger of whiskey and took a sip, smacking his lips together and then sighing.
"As dead as can be," he replied, "Thanks to Hawke."
Aveline looked pleased. "Good," she replied, grateful that the Felicisima Armada had been greatly weakened. They had been as much as a pain in her backside as Isabela had.
"Rivaini dropped off some documents for you," the dwarf said, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a roll of vellum which smelled faintly of fish. Aveline took them and unrolled the pages. Her eyes bulged.
"Slavery in the Free Marches?" she asked in disbelief. "He's better off dead. This will help a great deal with rounding up the other slavers though. I hate to say it...but tell Isabela thanks."
"I may not be able to," Varric replied grimly, "She's not going to be here for long. The ship is almost to her standards."
"She didn't take long. Castillon's only been dead a few days. His body's barely cold," Charade said disapprovingly. She had formed a very bad opinion of Isabela since their first meeting back in the Felicisima Armada's warehouse. In her eyes Lana had just saved her life, and Isabela had responded by punching her in the face. The others had filled her in a little on the past relationship between the two women (or lack thereof) and she could at last put some context to the argument they had all witnessed back in the warehouse.
Varric chuckled and played his hand. He was currently on a winning run against Merrill, who had, believe it or not, improved her gambling skills, thanks to Isabela's hard work and advice on not to gamble anything too valuable to her.
"Isabela didn't become Queen of the Eastern Seas by being sensitive," the dwarf informed Charade, "She's a ruthless pirate when it comes down to it."
"She's ruthless full stop," Charade retorted, disapprovingly. She folded her arms and frowned. Varric looked up at her.
"Ah, don't say that now, Chestnut," he said, believing her opinion of Isabela to be biased. She had only known her for a few days, though to be honest Isabela hadn't exactly given her a good first impression. "Rivaini's not comfortable on dry land, and she's been stuck in Kirkwall for years. When she's on her ship, the Captain has to be ruthless, especially a female Captain. She takes no prisoners, Isabela...so to speak...I mean I'm sure she's had plenty...And tortured them too...I once saw her stick a whiskey bottle up someone's...I'm getting off track," Varric continued, as the others chuckled. "What I'm trying to say, Chestnut, is don't judge her on her relationship with Hawke. Those two have been through a lot together. Arguing's just a result of their frustration with each other."
Aveline's eyes widened, "Very nicely put, Varric," she said, impressed with his sensitive tone.
"I mean they clearly just want to screw each other. Isabela's humping everything that moves because she's pinning over Hawke," he finished. Merrill snorted into her drink as the others chuckled. Aveline rolled her eyes.
"So close, Varric," she lamented, realising that they were back to their usual filth. Charade chuckled even more as she saw her expression.
"I take it vulgar talk is a regular occurrence in The Hanged Man?" she asked, seeing Aveline's annoyance.
"It is if you have a drink with Isabela and Hawke," Fenris interjected, smirking, "They could turn the stomach of an ogre with their stories."
They all laughed, bar Aveline.
"Yes, and you don't encourage them at all, right?" she said, staring at them all accusingly. "Maker's Breath, sometimes you are all as bad."
"I agree," Anders said. He also couldn't stand the disgusting jokes that were passed about the table between Isabela, Hawke, Fenris and Varric. The only thing good about them was that they would probably make a Chantry sister burst into flame.
"Oh hush, Blondie. You could do with a joke or two to cheer you up," Varric said, as more giggles followed. Anders frowned.
"I have nothing to smile about while my people are enslaved in the wretched Gallows, Varric," he growled, his eyes glowing blue all of a sudden.
"Hello Justice!" the dwarf said, raising his whiskey. "Drink?"
Merrill shivered at the sight of Anders glowing, the blue light spreading down cracks in his cheek.
"Oh, I don't like Justice," she cooed, covering behind Charade, "He just looks so mean."
"Coming from the Bloodmage who consorts with demons!" he snarled at her, his hands curling into fists.
"For The Maker's sake, control yourself Anders. We're in the middle of a tavern!" Aveline scolded, leaning in to hiss at him. Anders stopped glowing and got to his feet, knocking his drink over.
"I think I should go," he said, glaring at Varric, a muscle twitching in his jaw, "Before the dwarf turns into flames."
"I think that's a good idea," Aveline said getting to her feet in case she had to intervene. Varric leaned back on his stool and folded his arms uncaringly.
"Ah come on Blondie, it was just a bit of fun," he said, chuckling, "Don't take it personal."
Fenris' glared up at Anders, ready to come to Varric's rescue if need be. Maker, he hated mages. Anders glanced around the table once before taking his leave. He stormed off without saying goodbye.
Aveline sighed as she watched him go and sat back down, glaring at Varric.
"What?" he asked innocently, grinning.
"You know perfectly well what!" she said angrily. The dwarf rolled his eyes and dragged his winnings off the table. Meryl watched regretfully as her coin got scooped into the dwarf's pocket.
"Oh, I wish Isabela was here," she moaned, looking close to tears. "I play better when she's around."
"Only because she helps you cheat," Aveline reminded her. Fenris and Varric laughed.
"So she's really leaving then?" Charade asked. She didn't understand how someone could just leave behind a life they'd lived for years and take to the hostile, open seas.
"Looks like it," Varric said sadly.
"And Hawke?" Aveline asked. They all glanced over towards the bar where Lana was sitting by herself. She had been there for the last few days, since her last fight with Isabela, rejecting the company of her friends. There was a purple bruise under her eye where Isabela's fist had connected with her face. None of them knew what to do anymore.
"Do you really think Isabela could leave her behind? I thought they loved each other," Merrill said sadly in a quiet voice.
"That's the thing, Daisy," Varric said grimly, "No one knows. I doubt even they do anymore."
"Isabela seems like a hard person to read," Charade said.
Fenris grunted. "You have no idea," he said wryly.
"It's hard to know what she is thinking," Aveline agreed. "She acts like all of her personality is on the surface, but I'm not so sure anymore."
"Hawke obviously sees something more in her," Charade said, wondering what it could possibly be. It was hard to believe that someone like her cousin could fall for a heartless pirate like Isabela. Though she had only known her for a few days, Charade found Lana to have a very sensitive side to her. She was cunning, with a deep and mysterious trait which she very rarely let anyone see, and if the legends were to be believed she was also fiercely loyal and cared for more than just herself. Isabela seemed to be the complete opposite though. Cunning yes, but loyal? Selfless?
"Obviously," Aveline agreed, though she was just as puzzled by it. Isabela was a pain in the ass...Then again so was Hawke. Sometimes when she thought about the pair of them in a relationship it made no sense, then other times it seemed like it did.
"But they just don't seem to fit," Charade continued, staring at her cousin as she miserably lifted a mug of whiskey to her lips. She sat it back on the bar and took a long draw of her pipe, shielding herself in a ring of smoke.
"Maybe they don't," Varric said, sighing, "But they're stubborn. And they're both used to getting what they want. Maybe that's why they can't see it."
"I think they're kind of perfect for each other," Merrill said dreamily, resting her head on her hands and gazing at Hawke in awe. "In the Hahren's stories or romance opposites often attract."
Fenris rolled his eyes. "Fairytales are less complicated than real life," he said roughly. The elf's immaturity sometimes got under his skin. She was so naive. It was occasionally infuriating how much so.
"Believe it or not, I agree with Daisy," Varric said. The others stared at him in shock, none more so than Fenris. It wasn't normal for someone to agree wholeheartedly with Merrill. Even she looked a little surprised. He shrugged, uncaringly at the questioning faces before him. "I do!" he said, "Do you not remember what it was like in the early days? Isabela and Hawke were joined at the hip. It was very rare to see one without the other."
"That's because they were playing a game of seduction, Varric," Aveline reminded him. "Isabela took an interest in her because she saw the possiblty of sex, that was all."
"Ah come on, Aveline!" he exclaimed, "If that's all that Rivaini was looking for then why didn't she leave after Leandra died. Hawke's guard was completely down since that day. In fact, that's how Isabela happened. Do you not remember how long she had kept her at arm's length?"
Aveline frowned, considering this. True, Hawke had not given in to Isabela before that day, not that she was aware of anyway. The dynamic between the two women only seemed to change after Leandra's death, when sex had entered the equation. Yet still Isabela stuck around.
"That was only because she didn't have a ship," Fenris corrected him. "And Castillon was still hunting her. I'm sure she would have left if that hadn't been the case."
Varric shook his head in disagreement. "She took the Tome of Koslun, remember? If she had just handed it over to Castillon he would have forgiven her. Ran half way to Ostwick before turning back, didn't she? It obviously wasn't the lack of a ship holding her here. It was something else...or someone."
Silence fell over them all as Varric's words began to make sense. Aveline suddenly realised he was right. Isabela could have been free of Kirkwall and of Castillon if she had just proceeded with her original plan and handed over the Tome of Koslun to him. But she hadn't. The selfish pirate had just done her first selfless deed and returned the stolen Tome to the Qunari. But it wasn't to save the burning city...It was to save Hawke.
"Maker's Breath!" Aveline exclaimed, amazed. "Isabela's in love!"
The others were stunned, as the realization came to them as well.
"But does Hawke love her?" Charade asked, remembering the argument between them. Neither could say the words, and Lana had refused to speak when Isabela asked her.
Varric smiled, "If she didn't would she look that miserable right now?" he joked. Charade smiled. He was right.
"Then we can't let her leave," she said.
"Someone needs to convince Hawke to go and see her," Merrill said excitedly, "I'll really miss Isabela if she leaves, and I know she will too."
"Someone has to make them see sense," Fenris agreed, "I don't know how many more arguments I can listen to between them and I'm afraid that Hawke's face is now permanently stuck that way."
Varric chuckled. "Well, that's settled then. Someone will talk her in to meeting Isabela."
"Who though?" Aveline asked, confused at the sudden conclusion. She glanced around, seeing them all stare at her expectantly then. The Guardswoman groaned. "Oh, alright then...I guess it's got to be me hasn't it?"
"No one can nag as well as you, Av," Varric teased, winking at her.
All of them burst out laughing and raised their drinks. Even Aveline managed a small smile. It was true. Aveline seemed to be the only one who could make Hawke come to her senses. But time was running out. Isabela was surely leaving this day. It was now or never. As the Guardswoman downed the last of her ale and got to her feet to approach Hawke, she just hoped to The Maker that Lana would listen to her and go after the woman she loved before she set sail and lost her forever.
"Go away Aveline."
Hawke slouched over the bar, hugging her bottle of whiskey and staring into nothingness. Aveline sighed as she eased in between The Hanged Man's patrons and took up the space beside her.
"Get up, Hawke, you're exhausted. I'm taking you home," she said firmly. Lana didn't move.
"I don't want to go home," she replied, "Just leave me alone."
"I'm not taking no for an answer. You smell Hawke, and you definitely don't need anything more to drink."
"Says who?" Hawke joked, straightening up a little and taking a swig from the bottle. Aveline reached out and snatched it off her, slamming it down onto the bar out of her reach. She had a feeling Hawke was going to start messing her around. She was only drinking it to annoy her.
"What in Andraste's tits, Aveline!" Hawke exclaimed angrily, "Give it back. I mean it!"
"Shut it, Hawke!" Aveline replied, "You haven't been home in days. And you've been avoiding us all. What's gotten into you?"
Hawke's face fell. "Nothing," she replied grimly, "Can't a girl enjoy a drink?"
"Not for three days straight without good reason," she scolded. "And you certainly don't look as though you've been enjoying yourself."
Hawke said nothing.
"Is this about Isabela?" Aveline asked, knowing full well it was. Lana glared at her.
"Don't speak to me about Isabela," she snapped, straightening up and leaning on the bar with her arms. "I don't want to hear it alright?"
"Fine," the Guardswoman replied. "I just wondered whether or not you'd seen her."
Hawke sighed. She knew Aveline wasn't going to let this drop. Andraste's Ass I wonder if she knows what a nag she is. "Not since I killed Castillon," Lana said at last, remembering painfully how she had watched Isabela walk away for the last time. Her face still stung from where the pirate had punched her. Funny how the only thing I have to remind me of her is a black eye...Bitch.
"How's the eye?" Aveline asked, as though reading her mind. Hawke ran a hand across it and grimace a little.
"Nothing I can't handle," she replied. The real wound went deeper.
"You know, I'm surprised you didn't hit her back," Aveline said. Lana chuckled a little.
"So am I," she admitted. "But she'd already been through the mill before I got there. She looked dead on her feet."
"Have you seen her new ship? It's worth a look," The Guardswoman pressed, getting dangerously close to her real purpose of idle chit-chat. Lana shook her head, saying nothing.
"I was on it the other day, telling her off for not registering it with the proper authorities," Aveline continued, much to Hawke's demise. "It looked a sight when Castillon owned it. But I'll give her one thing, Isabela knows how to decorate her quarters. I can see why she makes such a good Captain."
Hawke gave her a weird look. "You're giving Isabela compliments? What has the world come to?" she asked shaking her head. "I think I would prefer it if you continued calling her a wench and a good for nothing vagrant. You were right about her in the end...I wish I'd never met her."
Hawke exhaled. Aveline observed her for several seconds.
"You don't really mean that," she said, knowingly. Hawke looked up at her furiously.
"I do, Av!" she said, shaking her head. "I'm better off without her."
Lana got to her feet and fished in her pocket, throwing a few coins onto the bar. She grabbed her jacket and put it on, turning her back on Aveline and heading for the door. The Guardswoman followed after her, the others staring after her expectantly.
Hawke dried herself off after her bath and threw on her red robe, tying the belt around her waist. She grabbed her boots from inside her bedroom and made her way downstairs. Aveline had insisted on following her home and was waiting downstairs while she bathed. She had asked Hawke to join her on a night-time patrol by the docks and Lana reluctantly obliged. Andraste's Ass, do the City Guard ever learn to do things by themselves? She thought as she made her way towards the stairs.
Aveline stood, waiting impatiently in the hallway, sipping a goblet of wine that Bodhan had provided for her. She eyed Hawke's get up.
"You're not going to wear armor?" she asked, eyebrows raised. Hawke chuckled.
"I like to tempt fate every once in a while," she joked. Aveline rolled her eyes.
"You're insane, Hawke. You know that?" she replied, incredulously, "This is a dangerous case I'm working on."
"Av, relax!" Lana said loudly, grabbing her daggers from the rack beside the front door. "You know I'm too good to be beaten."
Aveline groaned, regretting asking Lana to join her now. Sometimes she was too cocky for her own good. "I'll be surprised if you manage to fit that big head of yours through the door," she retorted, rolling her eyes.
"And I'll be surprised if you manage to keep up," Hawke replied with a wicked grin, "You're a bit on the plump side, Av. Been eating too many pork pies as you pour over all that paper work in the barracks?"
"Oh shut up, Hawke!" she snapped, feeling rather self-conscious now. Truth be told, her armor had been getting a little tight recently. But she would never let Hawke know that. "We'll see who's laughing when you've got a dagger stuck in your back...It might even be mine."
Lana laughed as they exited the Estate. "Aw, poor, Av," she teased, "Did I hurt your feelings?"
Aveline elbowed her hard in the ribs.
"ARHH! Damn it, that hurt!" she wheezed, though still continued giggling through the pain.
"That's what you get for not wearing armor!" Aveline replied smugly.
"I don't need armor, Av. I've got my ginger battering ram with me," Lana joked. Aveline lashed out at her again, only Lana dodged her. She laughed mockingly.
"Yep, you're definitely slower than usual," she teased, enjoying watching that vein on Aveline's head pulse when she was almost at the end of her tether. "Did Donnic tire you out last night?"
Aveline rolled her eyes as they made their way down the steps into Lowtown. "At least I was getting some," she replied stiffly.
Hawke was taken aback. "Ouch! Touché, Miss Prig," she replied. "You're such a bad girl now. Donnic's taught you well. Shown you a few things he learnt at The Blooming Rose, has he?"
"He's a very efficient lover, if that's what you're asking," Aveline replied, matter-of-factly."
Lana cringed. "Ugh, it wasn't," she groaned, "I don't know how you do it. Men are so hairy."
"Woman can be hairy too," Aveline replied, almost defensively.
"Eugh! Av, keep it to yourself," she joked, turning up her nose. The Guardswoman looked appalled.
"I didn't mean...I don't have...Oh, shut up Hawke!" she stuttered, her face going red with embarrassment. Hawke chuckled. This night had turned out to be more entertaining than she could have imagined.
They reached the docks just as darkness fell and began to stroll in and out of the warehouses, looking for anything suspicious. Aveline kept glancing at Hawke out of the corner of her eye. She still couldn't decide what the best way was to talk her into visiting Isabela before she left. The others were depending on her, but she was completely stumped. Lana didn't even want to talk about her, how was she going to make her board her ship? She hadn't even bothered to see what it looked like. That was how much her interest in anything Isabela-related had waned. Sometimes there was just too much hurt there, to see anything else. But Aveline had to make her see. How though? That was the question.
"Kept your eyes open around here, Hawke," Aveline whispered to her as they got near a familiar warehouse. "There's a fellow named Crusty Jack who is on the loose...And he's a mean one."
"Crusty Jack?" Lana repeated, cringing, "Ugh, I don't want to know how he got that nickname."
"He's the main reason we're here," The Guard Captain replied, ignoring Lana's joke. She had her serious face on, Lana noticed, smirking to herself. There's no mixing pleasure with work where the Iron Lady is concerned. She's as tough as they come.
"What's he look like?" Hawke asked interestedly, scanning the alleys in the distance. The ships in the dock swayed lightly in the wind, creaking eerily as the two women walked by.
"No one knows," Aveline revealed to a stunned Hawke. "He wears a black cloak and hood and carries a satchel to hold his stolen goods. Only one blade at his waist which I've never had the pleasure of engaging. I've chased him several times before but he always gets away. "
"Why haven't you told me about this before?" Lana asked, serious now, "I could have helped."
Aveline threw her a small smile, "You've had enough on your plate, Hawke."
Lana snorted silently in agreement. "Well then, I may hope he turns up tonight," she joked, grinning at Aveline. "I'll show you how to catch a real criminal, Av...Got your blank vellum and quill ready to take notes?"
Aveline pursed her lips. She knew though, that if anyone had a chance of catching Crusty Jack, it was Hawke. He was just too fast for the rest of them, thin and agile. Heavily armoured City Guards were never going to catch him in this Dragon age or the next. She would never admit this to Hawke though. The woman's head was big enough already.
"Don't get too confident," she warned her instead. "This fellow's been operating these docks for years and I've only seen him three times. We got an anonymous tip that he is active tonight though, so keep your eyes peeled."
They proceeded along the docks, cautiously and quietly. Whoever this Jack is he's going to be a nobody by the time I'm finished with him, Lana thought to herself. She had needed this sense of purpose. The last three days had been a drunken blur and she couldn't get Isabela's last words out of her head. She was grateful to Aveline for bringing her along. In hard times, you always know who your friends are.
"HAWKE LOOK OUT!" Aveline yelled suddenly, breaking the silence of the night. She dived across Lana just in time to knock her to the ground as an arrow flew towards them, aiming right for her heart. Hawke was crushed under Aveline's heavy armor, but grateful for her actions. She grimaced as the Guardswoman helped her to her feet, both of them ready to engage the pirate mercenaries who had just appeared from nearby alleyways. They were completely surrounded, their escape blocked off and no back up to call upon. After a heartbeat of silence, the pirates charged them, their yells of menace echoing throughout the docks.
Hawke buried her left dagger in the nearest pirate's stomach, feeling his guts split in two. She blocked an oncoming attack with her right one and withdrew the left, sticking her second victim with the same blade, feeling a sweet satisfaction at seeing the blood ooze from his mouth. She could feel Aveline behind her, both of them covering each other's backs and rotating around simultaneously so as not to be backstabbed.
After several minutes, the two of them had managed to kill five each, leaving just three remaining. All of a sudden a black figure bobbed in the distance.
"Hawke, it's him!" Aveline yelled, seeing the figure run off. "Go after him!"
"What about you?" Lana yelled, blocking another pirate attack with her blade.
"I'll be fine! Don't let him get away! Just go! NOW!" Aveline ordered. Hawke glanced back at her to be sure she could handle the remaining pirates, then took off into the night, following in Crusty Jack's wet footprints from the many puddles he had splashed into as he ran.
Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest as the sea air assaulted her throat, almost making her breathless. After a while, she stopped running. Silence filled the night once more, the battle scenes having been left behind at the other end of the docks. Lana, glanced around, eyes wide, looking for any sign of Jack. Her heavy breathing was the only sound, threatening to give her away.
Then suddenly a black shadow shot past the next alley way. She could hear him wheezing as he ran, almost out of breath himself. Lana tore after him, running parallel with him in the alley beside his. She sprinted to the end, trying to over take him and turned right, sprinting up the joining alleyway to attempt to intercept him. Just as she reached the end, they both collided with each other, falling to the ground in a tangled heap.
Hawke struggled with the hooded figure, rolling about on the dirty ground before Crusty Jack got the better of her. He placed a hand over her neck and began to squeeze, strangling the life out of her. Lana tried desperately to pull his thin hands away from her throat, feeling her head go light.
Suddenly Jack let go, as though he had received a shock. He got to his feet and started to run again, faster than before. Choking, Hawke clambered to her feet and gave chase. You're not getting away this time! she thought angrily. Aveline was right. Jack was a quick son of a bitch. The only sight of him in the distance was the ripples of his black robe as he ran.
He veered right, down another alleyway, with Hawke closing in. She felt as though her chest was about to burst open. They were running towards the ships now, and to the end of the docks. Crusty Jack was running out of land. I've got him, Hawke thought thankfully. He's got nowhere to go. As Hawke slowed her run, Jack did the impossible. He jumped out over the pier and grabbed one of the loose ropes hanging down from the nearest ship's rigging and started to heave himself up. The chase was on again.
"Oh, come on!" Hawke shouted in disbelief. She was completely wrecked. Cursing under her breath she followed suit without hesitation, grabbing the end of Crusty Jack's rope and using her arms to pull herself up as quick as she could. She could see him climbing a little way above her and reached out to grab his leg. Jack kicked out at her hand, scuffing her fingers and scurried up the rope a little faster. He was evidently running out of energy as well.
Finally having reached the top, Jack climbed over the side. He glanced back over, seeing Lana through the slits in his hood. She was almost upon him again. He was sprinting away just as Hawke climbed onto the ship, her muscles aching after the climb. She summoned her last ounce of energy and ran down the starboard side of the ship after him. Their noisy footsteps and gasping echoed in the night. Jack ran in and out of the rigging, changing direction as Hawke made to grab him several times to no avail. With a last leap of desperation she ran up the nearest handrail of the ship and dived over the other side, landing on top of him.
The two of them struggled with each other once again. Lana punched him in the face, his hood almost dislodging. Suddenly Crusty Jack dug her in the ribs and rolled over, adjusting his hood before getting to his feet and trying to run. Lana reached out a leg and tripped him before he could get away. She crawled on top of him once again and pulled out her dagger, holding it to his throat.
"Time to die!" she snarled. "But let's see who's under the hood first shall we?" Hawke reached down and pulled the hood off. At the same time Jack yelled out.
"NO, WAIT! STOP!"
Lana was struck dumb. She couldn't believe it. There, trapped beneath her was a rather sweaty-looking, slightly bloody, Isabela. They both stared at each other, trying to catch their breaths. Lana's blade dropped from her grasp and landed on the deck beside her.
"You..." she breathed, shaking her head, "It can't be..."
Isabela glared up at her, saying nothing, her massive chest rising and falling rapidly. Hawke rolled off her onto the deck, lying on her back and looking up into the night sky. What in Andraste's flaming sword is going on?
"What are you...doing here...?" she gasped, completely out of breath after chasing her through the docks.
"I was...stealing from...the Armada ships," Isabela said back, sounding as though she was hyperventilating.
"Crusty Jack?" Lana asked, confused, turning to look at her where she lay beside her. Isabela cringed.
"A man...I slept with once," she admitted, "Don't ask...I just adopted the name...created a bit of infamy for myself..."
Hawke straightened up and wiped the sweat from her brow. Isabela did the same. Her lip was swollen from where Lana had punched her before. I guess we're even now then, Hawke thought to herself smugly. She got to her feet and leaned over the side of the ship, her heart still beating wildly in her chest. A moment of silence passed between them.
"Are you going to turn me in to the Big Girl then?" Isabela asked, unable to stand the quiet any longer.
"You tried to strangle me," Hawke reminded her, her tone bitter.
"Only because I didn't know it was you!" Isabela revealed, getting to her feet as well, "When I saw your face I ran for it."
So that explained why she had stopped just as I had started to see stars, Hawke thought to herself. She turned to her.
"So," she began, sadly, "This is your ship?"
Isabela nodded. "I'm setting sail tonight..."
A painful silence passed between them as they stared at each other. Lana could feel a lump in her throat as the pirate's amber eyes danced in the moonlight.
"Where are you going?" she asked, trying to sound as though she didn't care.
"Ferelden maybe," Isabela replied, walking over beside her and leaning over the edge, staring into the deep, ocean below. "I've got some old friends there who I haven't seen for a while."
Lana nodded, leaning casually on the wooden rail beside her, facing the other direction.
"Well...Good luck to you," she said coldly. She pushed off from the rail and began to walk away.
"Hawke wait!" Isabela called desperately, spinning around. Lana froze, a few paces away from her. She turned, waiting. Isabela walked towards her.
"How about one last drink?" she said gently, "For old time's sake..."
They stared at each other, swaying slightly with the ship as the waves crashed off the side. An icy wind was picking up, blowing their hair wildly. Isabela couldn't hide the desire in her eyes. Three days ago it had been easier than she expected to say goodbye. Her anger replaced the regret and she had stormed away in a fit of rage. Now though, as she stared into Lana Hawke's face, her heart wrenched at the thought of letting her go for good. There was just too much history there to leave things like this between them.
"Fine," Hawke whispered, to Isabela's relief. She walked past her then and led the way down to her private quarters where there was a bottle of The Hanged Man's finest waiting for them.
The sound of the now howling wind outside was immediately blocked out as soon as the wooden door closed. Hawke cast her eyes around the enormous Captain's Quarters, amazed to find that it was possibly bigger than her bedroom. There was a rich looking four-poster bed in the centre adorned with two ornately designed bedside cabinets. On the left stood a massive table full of maps, varieties of telescopes and empty silver goblets. Along the wall was a long counter with weapons and armor and numerous documents and quills. To the right was a giant armoire, a smaller table surrounded by two, round, wooden stools and a smaller cupboard of which Isabela was now producing a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.
"Nice quarters," Hawke said, taking a seat on one of the stools and watching as Isabela poured the honey-colour liquid into each glass.
"Thanks," she said, throwing her a small smile. "I never did say it, did I?...I wouldn't have even had this ship if it wasn't for you."
She handed Hawke a glass. Their fingers touched sending shivers down both their spines. This was the closest they had been in months, and definitely the most alone. Lana took her glass a little too quickly, eager to retract her hand and spilt some of the liquid over her robe. Such was the delicateness of the situation that Isabela didn't even laugh. Instead she took up a stool beside her and picked up her own glass.
"To us," she said simply.
Hawke raised her own glass and clinked it off Isabela's, who then proceeded to down hers. Lana's face fell and she sat hers back onto the table, untouched.
The pirate placed her empty glass down gently and stared at Hawke. She was horrified to see in the light of the flickering candle on the wall, that Hawke's left eye was blackened and bruised. Maker, I shouldn't have punched her. She had just saved me from Velasco...I'm such a tit. Unable to stop herself, she reached out and touched Lana's face, tracing the damage she had done. Hawke looked up at her.
"I'm sorry about that," the pirate said regretfully, staring at the black eye she had given her.
"Your lip looks worse," Hawke replied, with a small, satisfied smile. Isabela chuckled, bringing her other hand to her mouth to feel it sting.
"I guess you got me back," she said, grinning, "I deserved that."
After a moment's silence her hand fell from Hawke's face and she got to her feet, and began to pace absentmindedly, staring at the floor. Lana swivelled around in her stool to watch her. The Rivaini pulled off the black robe, revealing her usual get up underneath: long white shirt, black corset, blue sash, buckled gauntlets and a red bandana tied around her right bicep.
"Why do you wear that?" Lana asked, wondering why she had never really taken notice before. "The red bandana..."
Isabela glanced down at it and sighed. "It's silly really," she said, leaning against the post of her four-poster and crossing her legs. "I started wearing it the day I left Kirkwall...You know...after..."
Hawke didn't need reminding. After she told me she came back for me, kissed me then changed her mind and ran, leaving me with nothing but a broken heart, she thought miserably. It wasn't like she was going to forget that in a hurry.
"I found it just outside the city walls," she continued, after the awkward pause. "I don't know why but for some reason I picked it up and tied it to my arm...As the years passed..."
Isabela stopped speaking, embarrassed.
"What?" Hawke prompted, curious. Isabela chuckled silently, shaking her head and staring down at her feet. She looked up at Hawke then, wondering if she should tell her.
"As the years passed...Every time I looked down at it...It reminded me of you..."
The pirate dropped her gaze, smiling and shaking her head again. Hawke didn't know what to say. She simply stared at the bandana, feeling as though there was something lodged in her throat. More silence passed between them, neither knowing how to break it. Lana dropped her gaze, deep in thought. So she hadn't forgotten me the whole time she was away. Isabela fidgeted with the bandana on her arm, remembering the strange comfort it brought to her on those cold nights on the run from Castillon. Even though she was afraid of what a commitment represented, she had formed a strange kind of one with nothing more than a piece of cloth, vowing silently to return to Kirkwall one day, as she eventually did. How ironic, she thought to herself, Now I'm leaving here for good.
"Don't go, Bela," Hawke said suddenly, staring up at her. Isabela's heart fluttered. She glanced up and caught Lana's chocolate-brown eyes, piercing hers. There were tears forming there. Hawke got to her feet and walked towards her. Isabela tried to look away but she couldn't. Her gaze was transfixed upon the woman before her.
"I have to, Hawke," she said regretfully, biting her swollen lip. "This was never going to work...and you know it!"
"You're just running away!" Lana exclaimed, shaking her head. She could feel the anger at the infuriating situation they had created for themselves over the years, build up inside her once more. Evidently Isabela could too.
"I am NOT running away!" she replied, her voice rising as well. Their momentary tender looks had turned into glares again, both sets of eyes flashing dangerously.
"Then prove it!" Hawke yelled, "Tell me how you really feel! Tell me you don't love me and I'll walk away right now...I'll let you go forever...Is that what you really want?"
"I don't know what I want!" Isabela shouted back, flinging her arms in frustration. She exhaled a turned away, starting to pace.
"You've been using that excuse for years, Bela," Hawke said, shaking her head with disgust. "At least have the balls to tell me how you feel before you go...That way, at least I'll know we never had a chance..."
"We did though!" Isabela cried, her eyes watering, "Andraste's Ass, Hawke..." she groaned, "You are the only good thing that has ever happened to me..."
"Then why are you running!?" Lana pleaded, both angry and upset at the same time. She stared at the pirate, desperately begging for her to come clean. She reached out and touched Isabela's arm, stopping her from pacing. Hawke stared into the depths of her amber eyes. "Why?" she asked again.
A moment of silence passed. Then-
"I can't hold on to anything this good, Hawke...I don't know how," Isabela said helplessly, shaking her head and looking ashamed of herself, "Maybe what everyone says is true...Maybe I'm just not good enough for you..."
Hawke couldn't believe her ears. So she's doing this to...protect me?
"I don't understand," she said, confused. Isabela sighed. She pulled away from Hawke and resumed her slow pacing once more. After a few seconds she walked past her and sat herself down on the vacated stool, leaning on her legs, hand's tucked under her chin. Lana frowned, wishing she could just crack open Isabela's head and read her thoughts to try and make sense of it all herself.
"You're too good for me, Hawke," Isabela admitted finally, not looking at her, "Everything I touch gets poisoned...I don't want that to happen to you..." She sighed and looked up at her regretfully, "I've caused you too much pain already...I just...can't handle having you in my life any longer."
Hawke felt as though she had been slapped. She bit her lip, feeling the injustice fill up inside her.
"So that's it?" she demanded bitterly, having never seen this side to Isabela before, "Just because you don't know how to deal with having me in your life you're going to give up?" She stared down at her, disappointed, "Of all the time I've known you...I never thought I'd see the day when you acted this weak..."
As Lana turned away towards the door, Isabela jumped to her feet, kicking her stool across the cabin in a rage.
"What in Andraste's flaming sword do you want me to say Hawke?" she yelled angrily, shaking with fury. Lana turned back to face her. "You asked me to tell you the truth and I have! In fact, I've been more truthful with you than I have been with anyone in my entire life! ...So don't you dare call me weak!"
"Well, what else should I call you?" Hawke shouted back, her temper matching the Rivaini's, "For all I know this was your plan all along! Return to Kirkwall just to get me to help you kill Castillon and get you your damn ship. Well bravo! Here I am running back to you again like the fool that I am!"
"Do you seriously still think that's why I came back!?" Isabela screamed, feeling like she was ready to explode again.
"Well, what other conclusion should I draw?" Lana shrieked, holding out her hands as though she had no other option, "You obviously didn't come back to be with me, did you? Isabela doesn't fall in love remember? She just uses people then discards them like trash, leaving a bloody mess behind for them to clean up...Well you know what? This time I'm the one who's leaving."
Hawke exhaled furiously and turned, storming towards the exit. She was livid. One last drink, my ass...One last stab at me more like. Isabela stared after her, knowing that if she walked out that door then that was it for them. She would set sail and never come back. This was the end. The pirate panicked. There was an inner battle raging in her head. She wanted desperately to come clean about what she really wanted for them, but was afraid of what would follow. As Lana reached the handle, Isabela couldn't take it anymore.
"I can't stop thinking about you, Hawke..."
Lana stopped, her hand resting on the door knob. What did she say? She released it, turning back slowly to face Isabela. The pirate's words lingered in the silence as both women tried to process their meaning. Hawke froze, her mouth agape. Isabela was staring at her, looking just as surprised at what had evidently escaped her mouth. Lana waited, convinced she had heard her wrong. But how could she have? There was no one else here. It was just the two of them. She saw genuine fear in Isabela's eyes as the woman took a few steps towards her.
"I've tried...I've really tried but...it's damn near impossible," Isabela continued, breathing heavily and feeling herself shaking. "That's why I came back, Hawke. That's why I always keep coming back...But then, everything that happened with Bethany at Chateau Haine...I ballsed up big time. I hadn't slept with anyone since I left you that day when the Qunari were defeated...I passed up sex with Elegant, even when she tried to make me jealous about you and Leliana." She stopped in front of Lana, who was utterly speechless at this full and honest confession. What is she saying? "I've tried and tried so many times to tell you how I feel..." Isabela continued, "But time has run out... It's now or never..." The pirate's amber eyes pierced hers, like they never had before. Lana's heart was beating frantically against her chest. Isabela took a deep breath and reached out to touch her face, finally ready to say what she had been holding onto for years.
"I love you, Hawke...So don't you dare walk out that door!"