Disclaimer: Not mine.

I Need to Breathe

Chapter 34

Hermione's Trip

Hermione opened her eyes and rolled over, seeing him gone she sat up at once. Climbing out of bed, she grabbed his long sleeved white shirt from the floor, where he had thrown it, and pulled it over her head. Tugging it down to cover her bruised thighs she padded to the sitting room, peeking in from the doorway, making sure he was alone before stepping out into the light.

He looked up at her from his seat on the sofa, where he sat with a bottle of whiskey, not bothering with a glass, but tipping up the bottle and drinking from it. He set the bottle down and picked up a parchment, holding it out to her.

"From Poppy?" she asked, crossing the room and taking it from him. "You should have woken me."

He did not answer, just let his eyes travel down her body to her naked thighs, seeing the fingerprints he had left on her, he smirked and picked the bottle backup to take another swallow. Hermione turned the parchment to the fireplace, to be able to read it better, feeling the air tighten in her lungs as she did.

"Come here," Severus told her.

She walked the rest of the way and sunk down to her knees in front of him, looking up at his face. "I am so sorry. She was a good …"

"You thought she was my whore," he slurred and took yet another swallow.

"I was jealous and hurt. She was not a whore. She was good to you and …"

"He raped her." He ripped the parchment from her hand, bunched it up and threw it into the fire. "He broke her neck and raped her."

"Severus, please, come back to bed with me. We can talk about it in the morning. You need to sleep."

"I need to put her to rest," he sighed, tracing her lips with his thumb. "I don't like you like this."

"How?" She looked down at his shirt and back up to his face. "It was the first thing I could find. Do you want me to change?"

"On your knees, in front of me, sitting at my feet," he sneered. "It smacks of submissive witches and acting like a wizard's pet."

"If you should know anything it is that I am not submissive," she grinned, only to have him grab her hair and pull her head back sharply.

He studied her face then released her hair, cupping her face in his hands and lifting her mouth to his. After kissing her, he laid his forehead on hers and sighed deeply.

"I close my eyes and see Narcissa sitting at Lucius feet, and how Renee did the same with Mulciber. I see the bruises they wore, not allowed to heal, just there to show everyone that they were under a wizard's power. I never want you to feel you have to do that for me or if not me, for anyone."

"I don't. It surprises me that Renee did." She kissed his cheek before using his knees to rest her elbows on and getting more comfortable.

"She was young. Just out of school when she married." Severus traced her lips again. "She was foolish and thought letting him beat her, hit her with hair brushes, parading around near naked, proved her love."

"Maybe he did, in his own way, and I can't imagine Renee putting up with it if she didn't think she loved him, at least at the beginning."

"You are naïve, my wife," he sniggered, and reached for the bottle again. "He was sadistic, and she happened to be too close. I should have stopped it, but did not."

"It was not your place," she said softly. "Has Poppy been able to reverse the Polyjuice?"

"No, there is an antidote, but …" He ran his hand through his hair, not being able to say aloud that she was beyond the taking of potions.

"I want you to think about what I am going to say before you get angry at me." Hermione said evenly. "I think you should leave her as she is."

He leaned back and slapped her arms from his legs. "No, she will have…"

"I asked you to think it through. Lucius needs to think I am dead. He needs to see my body and know that you don't give a damn. If he has the nerve to come here, he needs to see me dead." She moved up to sit next to him. "I will stay in my chambers. Anything I need from the library I can have Millie bring me. Think about it. He will think he got away with it. He may become complacent and slip up. I can use the potion and be Renee when we …"

"No!" He thundered and stood up glaring at her. "I saw you dead. Do you understand that? Do you know what it felt like seeing you like that?"

"Listen to me. You have the work with the committee. He wouldn't dare show his face there, but you know he will hear about it. The Givens along with Lydia and Thomas makes sure that the Prophet has a full accounting of everyone at their functions. He would believe it. He knows Renee attended with …"

"You don't know that. You don't know what he did." He began to pace. "Perhaps he discovered the ruse. Perhaps he had it planned from the beginning or maybe he just planned on raping you and sending you back alive when it got out of control."

"He wouldn't do that. If he planned to send me back alive that would mean he knew it would hurt you to see I had been raped, but he thinks you hate me. I bet he thinks that by getting rid of me he will have an easier time getting to you. I bet he thinks you would welcome my death. Severus, if he knew it was a ruse he would have done far worse than break her neck. He would have been furious, and her body would show it. He gave her a fast death, he snapped her neck. He thought it was me."

Severus stopped pacing and looked at her coldly. "I will not bet your life on it."

"Nor will I. But I will bet Renee's"

"No," he grabbed her shoulders and shook her, then grabbed her wrist and dragged her into the bedroom, picked up her clothes and threw them at her. "Get dressed and get back to your chambers, do it now."

"Don't worry," she sighed, tears stinging her eyes. "I didn't plan on staying. I just thought after last night you may want me to stay until morning."

"Why? Because I fucked you?" He returned to the sitting room to wait for her, finishing his bottle and ignoring the look on her face.

Once he had her back in her chambers, he scooped up Rasputin and shoved the kitten at her, then dug in her desk drawer pulling out a small black bag of gold that he had left there for her use, and forced it into her pocket.

"What are you doing?" She jerked away from him as he pushed her to the floo.

"Millie can come to you. If you need anything you can't buy it at the market call her. Let me know if you need more."

"I don't need your gold," she spat. "I thought we were going to work things out. I thought…"

"Hermione's Villa," he called out as he threw down the floo powder, and stepped back, watching her look of astonishment as she left in a green flash. "Millie!"

"Yes, Master sir." The elf was there at once.

"Hermione is in the villa. You are to attend to her." He stood looking into the fireplace, wondering if he had been hasty. "You may want to take her some clothing."

"Yes, Master," Millie squeaked.

"And some … fuck," he said and flopped on the edge of the bed, wishing he had been better prepared, had thought this through, and had not acted … emotionally.

"Master? I takes food and some books. She likes her books she does."

"Yes, good idea, Mille." He stood and looked around her bedroom. "Take that damn cat its play things, and whatever you think she may need. I also would prefer you stayed with her. You are, however, in no circumstances to bring her back."

"The floo sir?"

"No, it is set one way, and she is not strong enough to apparate from there. I am hoping it will take her at least a couple of days to figure out how to get back." He headed for the outer door, then stopped and frowned. "Bring me her wand at once."

"Oh no Sirs," Millie shook her head and began to tremble.

"Do as you are told or I will send you away. You are free now so it is within my rights. Do you hear me? She will have no need for a wand if you are with her, and it may slow her down." He looked back at the floo. "Although I doubt it."

"Yes, Master sirs," Millie wailed.

"On second thought," Severus still stood looking at the floo, "leave at once before she can finish a portkey, collect her things later, but be careful. She may be a tad upset right now."

Millie popped out as Severus started to walk again. Glancing at the clock and back at the floo. He vowed never to drink and plot at the same time as it dawned on him what he had just done. He smirked thinking how angry she would be when he heard the pop of elf travel and turned to see Millie cowering on the floor, Hermione's wand held tightly in her fist.

"Millie?" He hurried over to her, bent down and retrieved the wand, inspecting the large lump on the top of her head. "You better go see Poppy at once, this is getting bigger. What did she hit you with?"

"Big flat pan," Millie cried. "She is in the kitchen working on the fireplace."

"I see," Severus smirked and stood up. "Go see Poppy then take what Hermione needs to the villa."

"Please no," Millie fell on her knees and clasped her hands. "She say she will hex me, she yells and throws things."

"Deal with it," he sniggered as he walked toward the outer door. "Blame it on me. Tell her I beat you until you agreed to help. She will believe you and take pity."

He went to the infirmary and found that Poppy had laid Renee in the bed furthest from the door, wrapping a silencing and cloaking spell around the curtained area. He pulled back the curtain and was surprised to find Astoria.

"Mrs. Malfoy?"

"Headmaster." She stood and nodded at him curtly. "My husband requested that she not be left alone. I have agreed to take the first watch and Mrs. Potter will relieve me at noon."

"That is unnecessary." Severus scowled. "She is … safe now."

"You must excuse me if I disagree. However, that is not pertinent. My husband asked me to do this and I will not go against his wishes." She turned back to the bed where Renee's covered body lay, and resolutely folded her arms.

Severus stepped closer to the shroud-covered corpse and laid his hand on its head. "Did you know her?"

"No, Headmaster."

"Has Draco said anything of her?"

"Only that she was the widow of … only that she was a widow."

Severus snorted, "Her whole life summed up in one word. Widow. Yes, Mrs. Malfoy. She was a widow."

"It is not a bad way to have your life summarized. She must have loved and been loved once. She must have had a home, a family; perhaps she helped him with his career, or raised his children. Widow." She stood and stepped next to him, looking down at the shape under the white linen. "Witches hear it differently to wizards. We hear the word as testament to life, not a statement on it."

Severus looked at her oddly but saw Hermione unable to choke out the word divorce. He had said the word as a statement, something that they should do, she had looked like she had been slapped, condemned, thrown away. He turned back to Renee and tried to think of her as just a widow.

"I thank you for sitting with her. I am not aware of anyone to notify, as far as I know she had no one left. She lived as … a recluse … in Italy before returning here." He turned to Astoria, surprised he could talk to her easily. "I am unaware if she had any close friends here."

"She had one." Astoria put her hand on his arm, then quirked her eyebrow up to him. "There was one other that you are not aware of. He shall be here shortly. That is why I am here. Mr. Malfoy did not wish to advise him by owl and has gone to do so himself."

Severus nodded and stepped back, pulling the curtain open. "I will arrange for her burial."

"The arrangements have already been made," Kingsley said striding in and greeting Astoria warmly before looking toward the bed. "I hear that she is still in Hermione's form."

"Yes," Severus said, seeing Kingsley's right hand open and clench shut, only to open again. "I want to restore her, to bury her with her dignity."

"She will be laid out as she is. For tonight, she will finish the part she wanted to play for you. In the morning I shall see that she is buried in her Italy; above the blue bay that she so loved."

"What do you know of her place in Italy?" Severus said evenly, watching Kingsley's face unmoving, only the vein in his temple keeping rhythm with his pounding heart.

"More than it appears you are aware of." He nodded at Astoria and left the bedside. "We need to make plans."

Astoria placed a finger over her lips and shook her head at Severus before reaching up and pulling the curtain closed, leaving him to stare after the dark Wizard as he walked away. Severus thought of Renee, and the reluctance to have him see her home, always departing in apparation, never stepping into a floo and calling out the destination. He thought of the years in Italy and suddenly realized she had not returned at the end of the war, not just when she felt safe, but at the time Kingsley had risen in ranks at the Ministry and had taken up residence at one of the safest and most protected houses in a small wizarding area in London.

He caught up with Kingsley at the circular stairs and rode to the top quietly, not needing to know if there was truth in what he thought. He could read the truth in Kingsley's stance, the way his hand clutched the banister and the way that he had thus far avoided eye contact.

"A drink is in order," Severus poured the other wizard a shot of fire whiskey, then remembering his earlier debacle set his own glass down empty, knowing he did not need more.

"So, tell me old friend where is your wife?" Kingsley sat heavily in a chair, accepting the drink and knocking it back in one gulp.

"We don't have to do this now," Severus said, not meeting Kingsley's eyes, knowing to do so would show Kingsley that he knew of him and Renee.

"She gave her life for this. I will not let her death be in vain, no we need to move on and to do so we must make sure that your wife is not discovered to be alive."

"Then we have possibly two days," Severus muttered. "She had the idea to become Renee and draw Malfoy out."

"She is mad," Kingsley spat.

"How did he manage it? She was to be watched."

"Narcissa was a decoy. She too drank a potion and appeared to be Hermione. When Renee went to the loo to refresh the potion, she was dragged out and Narcissa returned to the table in her stead. We still are unsure who replaced Lucius. It was brilliantly done."

"You are sure it was Narcissa?"

"The one mistake was in the timing. As Renee was being dumped here at Hogwarts, Narcissa was walking out. She was grabbed and all we had to do was wait until the potion wore off. We are holding her, but since taking the potion in itself is not a crime, we need to connect her with Renee's death. I am sure the truth serum will send her to Azkaban."

"It's too soon." Severus began his pacing.

"We can hold her as long as is needed," he shrugged. "However, the longer we do so, the longer Lucius has to reorganize."

"I would rather dump her body back in the same way he delivered Renee," Severus muttered.

"Do not think I did not want the same thing. If it would not risk the war starting anew I could have done it and not thought twice."

"It is time I paid my old friend and colleague a visit."

"Yes, so it appears, but first you need to sleep. You have been up all night." Kingsley rose from his chair.

"I have less than two days or I will feel what you do. No old friend, I will go now."

"You will forgive me for not waiting for you to offer," Kingsley helped himself to another drink. "It will be a much lonelier place now that she is gone."

"Kingsley, I …"

"Get him. Get him for me, Severus. Whatever it takes, whomever you have to go through. Get him."

"I want you to reopen the case on Marcus Bonner. I know you will find nothing, but the idea that the Ministry is once again looking into his death may help by taking some of Lucius' attention away from what is at hand. Also, Lucius is in the habit of leaving unpaid accounts around town, and paying them all at the end of the quarter when his investments come due. Find a couple of shop keepers that will protest and get his vaults frozen until the matter can be investigated." Severus clasped his hands behind his back as he continued to pace. "You are absolutely sure of Narcissa's part in this?"

"Without a doubt, I would put my life on it."

"Find the shopgirl Lucius is fucking. She works in Diagon, at the Emporium that sold Hermione her damned tea. I am sure there are still laws on the books about lewd behaviour. Tell her she is headed for Azkaban and put her in a cell next to Narcissa. You will also supply your protégé with a hair from his father and I don't give a fuck how he gets it. Tell Astoria to wear a blind fold if she must, but I want him to supply his mother with a pensieve she will not soon forget."

"I will not be able to give Narcissa the serum. Not until she is on the stand."

"No? Then you will arrange for me to visit her. Alone." He stopped pacing and looked at Kingsley. "Get your Aurors ready. This ends soon. Hermione is about to press charges. There is no proof, but in denying it he will be at the Ministry, and with Narcissa's confession we will know where the Aurors will be needed."

"That is quite a list," Kingsley stood and headed for the door.

"Kingsley?" Severus called him back. "He is mine. I don't want thanks, or any payment other than Lucius at the end of my wand."