Sunday January 23
CJ was already sitting propped up by pillows in bed when Brent opened his eyes. It was still early, before seven he guessed by the barely gray morning sky. His wife's fingers slid slowly through his hair while she looked at him with a loving but sad expression and he caught her hand, brushing a kiss to the palm. "Whatcha thinking about?"
Her gaze shadowed briefly. "Do you know what today is?"
Brent wracked his brain to recall the exact date. "The twenty-third?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "January twenty-third."
It took him a minute to work out why that date seemed significant, then the memory hit him. One year ago today she bolted with Ryan and for a terrifying, miserable week he thought he'd lost them. "Oh." He cleared his throat. "Not runnin' this time, right?"
CJ leaned over her husband, pressing her lips gently to his. "Not a chance MacKay, you're stuck with me."
Brent wrapped his arms around her and rolled them over. "Good," he whispered hoarsely, claiming her mouth out of need for comfort as much as from desire.
For an all too short period of time after that CJ demonstrated the depth of her commitment and love to her husband and afterwards they lay in each other's arms. He moved some hair away from her face. "That's a nice way to start the day."
She smirked and shrugged. "I suppose there could be worse ways." Brent took full advantage of knowing her ticklish spots and CJ stifled her laughter in the blanket lest they wake their son with the commotion. When he finally relented she collapsed back on the pillow. "We should skip basketball today."
"Oh?"
She caressed his chest. "I was thinking a nice lunch out at Red Robin after church, then a cozy afternoon of us snuggling on the couch watching all three of the Narnia movies. You know, and actually finish them this time? We just need a family day."
Surprised but appreciating how much thought she'd put into making this day so much different than the last, he agreed, making a mental note to text Mark before they left the house. No need to worry Papa Smurf needlessly. This time nothing was wrong, it was very right. "That sounds great Kris, thanks."
CJ sighed softly in his ear. "Thank you for not giving up."
Brent simply held her tighter. There had been no other option, with CJ and Ryan he'd always been in too deep.
NCIS
"Shalom Doda, thanks for your help."
Nettie smiled. "It had been my pleasure achyan. Your Hebrew is coming along nicely."
"Not that you'd know it the way Ziva keeps laughing at me," he muttered darkly.
Ziva pecked his lips. "I tease you with love."
The older woman chuckled. "Enjoy your afternoon."
"Chalomot paz," Ziva offered, wishing her aunt golden dreams.
They signed off and Tony turned to her. "Admit it, you have just as much fun correcting my Hebrew as I do your English. Maybe even more."
She put her hand on his neck, drawing him close for a proper kiss. "After five years I think I have earned it, yes?"
He sighed. "Okay, fine, I'll give you that one." Stretching and leaning back in the chair, he changed the subject. "Want to go hang out at the barn for a bit? I thought maybe I could watch you and Jules show off in the ring."
"And abandon Jax?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
"Well, I won't completely ignore him or anything, but I'm more in a spectating mood than a participating one."
Ziva considered the suggestion. "Could we do a late dinner out?" As much fun as their vacation had been, she knew it also took a bit of a toll on their regular finances.
Tony folded their fingers together. "Absolutely." It wasn't like they indulged very often and he never wanted to turn down an opportunity to show her off and make all the other guys jealous because his wife was off limits.
A beautiful smile spread across her face and she jumped up. "I will go get changed."
He waited until she left to allow himself a congratulatory grin. His wife was happy, mission accomplished.
NCIS
Tony stretched after getting in bed and slid his hand under Ziva's pillow, intending to share the space while he slept with her nestled against him. But when his fingers encountered the cold steel and unmistakable shape of a gun, he sat up halfway. "Something you want to tell me?"
Ziva remained on her side with her eyes closed, though her lips curved up. "It should not come as a surprise. You know I sleep with a gun."
He vividly remembered the way in which he discovered that little tidbit, having the muzzle of her weapon pressed to his cheek because he woke her up to interrupt the snoring he was now certain she'd been doing on purpose as that hadn't been a problem since they got married. "Yeah," he agreed slowly, "but the last time that actually happened was-" Tony cut off the sentence, doing his best to avoid any mention of May 2009 and what that month and the ones that followed had cost them.
She moved to her back and looked up at him, no censure in her gaze. "A long time ago, yes." Sometimes she couldn't believe it had already been over a year and a half since their world was turned upside-down.
Tony's lips grazed her forehead. "What changed?"
Ziva slid her hand down his arm. "Me." He drew her close and she smiled. "I am almost afraid to say it out loud, but I think the nightmares are gone." Her last one had been seven and a half weeks ago and she'd never had a stretch that long before. "I couldn't trust my reactions any sooner than now. I couldn't risk hurting you or Meira while trapped in a memory and unable to tell what is real."
"But now?"
She smiled. "Now I can. And though sleeping beside you is my greatest security, I do like having my gun within reach and knowing I can help defend us if necessary."
Tony relaxed again and they shifted into their usual favourite position. He kissed her neck and shoulder, finally content. "It's nice to have you back Ninja." He wondered if she had any idea how hot he found her dangerous side to be. Things were definitely looking up.
NCIS
Monday January 24
Tony stayed at NCIS after work to use the training gym while Ziva went to Ops and again found herself paired with Derek for krav maga - not fighting in the ring but for training this time. She enjoyed herself thoroughly, shook the dust off a couple old skills and picked up a few new tricks. Thinking to share a shower with her husband, Ziva texted him to come home as is and beat him back to their place.
Knowing he wouldn't be slow about something like this, she started the water and heard the front door slam as she peeled a damp workout shirt over her head. Tony arrived in time to see her step under the spray and quickly divested himself of all clothing to join her. When he tried to jump right into other activities Ziva shook her head, laying ground rules for getting clean first and having fun second. In the end it was worth the wait and Tony kissed her slowly as they came down from their high.
His thumb rubbed gently over her cheek. "Thanks honey, that was a nice surprise."
She pressed in closer. "It should not always be on you to initiate our intimacy and I just wanted to be close tonight."
He traced lazy patterns over her back and finally released her so they could get out and dried. With only a towel wrapped around his waist Tony stayed in front of the mirror while Ziva left to get dressed. "Just gonna take care of this five o'clock shadow first." She was wearing the fuzzy blue polar bear pyjamas he'd once teased her about when he came out, sitting on the couch studying what appeared to be pamphlets strewn across the coffee table. He joined her, curious. "What's all this?"
"Brochures."
Tony rolled his eyes. "I can see that. For what?"
Ziva shrugged. "Language courses."
His jaw dropped. "Seriously?" She nodded and he stared blankly at the papers. "Ziva, what other possible language could you need to know? How is ten not enough?"
"There are many languages I do not speak Tony," she stated matter of factly. "And because I no longer use them at NCIS the way I did with Mossad, I do not have the same command of them anymore. It is on my New Year's Resolution list to sweep up on the ones I know and challenge myself by choosing something new."
"Brush up," Tony corrected gently. Then he gave up on the disbelief and chuckled. "So, what are the reigning favourites?"
She ran her fingers over the pamphlets. "I am not sure. I was looking for one that is different. Sign language is very interesting, as is Swahili, but I am leaning towards Hawaiian."
He glanced at the DVD shelves. "I knew I would regret introducing you to Hawaii Five-0."
Ziva elbowed him. "It is a very good show."
"I'm not arguing that. I just didn't expect it to lead to...this," he gestured at the brochures again.
"We could learn it together," she offered.
Interest flickered through his gaze. "Thinking of a destination for our next trip?"
She shrugged. "Maybe for our ten year anniversary." And added silently, once they all know.
"I could get into that," Tony said after a moment of consideration. He nudged her knee. "What else is on your list?" He remembered seeing it a few weeks ago but she hadn't been ready to share yet.
Ziva pulled a folded paper from the back pocket of her jeans and handed it over. He smoothed it out carefully, studying the five things listed, and eventually pointed at the last one. "Undercover 'I love you'?"
She smiled a little. "I was thinking about The Princess Bride and Holes, how they used different words for 'I love you', and decided we need a phrase like that, something we can say at work in front of others without anyone suspecting the real meaning."
Tony grinned. "Our own version of 'As you wish' and 'I can fix that'? I like it ninja."
"Yes," she sighed. "Except I have been unable to come up with something acceptable."
Mentally scrolling through possible phrases, he muttered to himself as he alternately considered and discarded options. "'On your six?' 'Got your back?' Fits at work but we wouldn't want to overuse them. 'Pleasure's all mine' 'At your service'? If we started talking like that to each other it would be immediately suspicious. 'Just my luck' 'Make my day'? Doesn't really sound romantic. Not that it's supposed to, but still." After awhile he frowned. "I see what you mean. This is harder than it looks."
"And we cannot use another language because that is not normal."
"You could get away with it," Tony countered, "not me." After another minute of pondering this new dilemma he got distracted and went back to her list. "Find a way to thank my husband for everything he has done for me since I came back from Somalia." He leaned over and kissed her. "Nailed that one." The medal now sat proudly on his dresser, open for them to see every day.
"Begin training for a new skill (or reacquaint myself with some old ones - ask Duke). Krav maga, check." He put an invisible checkmark beside number two while she smiled and continued. "Find a new language to learn. Work in progress. Make a change regarding my appearance." Tony fingered a few strands of hair. "That highlights look great, mission accomplished. That's a very achievable list Zi."
She hugged one knee to her chest. "I did not want to be unrealistic." Though the unspoken resolution remained - take another step towards letting our secret be revealed (no matter how terrifying that is). Ziva tilted her head to the side. "Did you make a list ahava?"
Tony shifted. The first thing he couldn't tell her, preferring once/week flowers for no reason at all except to show his wife how important and special she was to him to be a happy surprise. Instead he started at the second one. "Talk to Dad more often," he shared. "The guy made an effort for Christmas, I guess it's my turn."
Her hand was laid on his knee. "I think that is a very mature goal considering your history. What else?"
He shrugged. "It's kind of a blank after that. Last year we did pretty good with progress, I haven't chosen anything new yet." Except maybe getting Ziva pregnant, but he wouldn't be sharing that one with her either.
Ziva's brow furrowed. "I did not know we had a list last year."
Tony chuckled nervously. "That's because I never told you."
"Will you now?"
He laced their fingers together. "There were some pretty heavy ones honey. Stop seeing a shrink. Get our intimacy back on track. See the last of Ziva's nightmares."
She pursed her lips. "Anything normal?"
"Sure," he nodded. "Get in shape. Learn Hebrew. Go riding once/week. Save for in vitro." One shoulder shrugged. "That's the gist of it."
"Only two are works in progress," she said quietly. "I think we did well, even if I was not aware of it."
"I was just trying not to add any extra pressure to what you already felt," Tony explained. "I know you had at least a couple of those on your own private list of goals."
She conceded with a nod and they were quiet for awhile. Then Tony suddenly sat up and snapped his fingers. "Champagne!"
Ziva frowned. "Excuse me?"
"Champagne and strawberries," he repeated.
"Neither of which we have. I do not understand."
He grabbed both her hands. "For our undercover 'I love you'. It doesn't have to be a phrase per say. It could just be a handful of words that are significant to us and every time we use one in a sentence you know it means 'I love you'."
Her eyes lit up to match his excitement. "I had not thought about that. It's perfect."
Tony was feeling very pleased with himself. "So champagne and strawberries for our honeymoon."
"Horses," Ziva offered. "Or perhaps rock climbing?" That had been one of their first dates and he had definitely been showing off to impress her. It worked.
"Ocean, for our time in St. Martins. Or swimming," he suggested.
"Bahamas." Her cheeks heated remembering their brief getaway.
"M&Ms, from last Hanukkah when you taught me to play dreidel."
"Pool," she added, thinking about the time with his old co-workers.
"Paycheck," Ton continued, citing one of their favourite movies to watch together.
"We should write them down." Ziva jumped up to grab the pad on the fridge and they compiled a list of five meaningful words from their memories that could be used to say 'I love you' in plain view of others - champagne, strawberries, ocean, M&M's, and Paycheck.
Tony grinned when he read them over. "I can't wait for the opportunity to use one at work."
"Just do not make it sound special yakiri," she warned. "There are trained federal agents everywhere."
"And spies," he added.
She smirked. "Only one, and I am retired."
Tony locked his arms around her waist and pulled her down onto the couch. His mouth claimed hers, effectively silencing any other arguments she could put forth. One kiss led to two and then three and so many more they didn't bother to count. And for one of the first times since she returned to him passion so completely consumed them that they couldn't even make it to the bedroom before they had to sate that longing. Afterwards Tony thought there was hardly anything left on the list of desert scars that they hadn't both reclaimed and redeemed. What a sweet, sweet victory that was.
NCIS
Wednesday January 26
Jordan was working late to ignore the fact that his wife wasn't around, and Brent had all three kids for a dinner and homework party which left only Tony and Mark to commiserate about being shunned, since Adrian and Emma weren't home yet and Darien remained purposely single and unable to understand what they were missing. Tony turned his coffee cup in a circle. "Why do we have to be in separate locations for girl's night? What's wrong with just being on a different level of the house?"
Mark chuckled. "You do realize guys are typically expected to fear girl talk and avoid it at all costs?"
"Ah, but what the uninagurated fail to notice is that if you listen carefully to girl talk instead of running the other direction you can learn all sorts of valuable information."
"I believe attempting to use blackmail material on your wife or any of the others would have disastrous results my friend." Mark winced just thinking about it.
Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm not that dumb. I meant valuable information like something she really wants or things that are bothering her. Wives share stuff with girlfriends they don't always think to tell their husbands." More than once on a Sunday afternoon at the park or community center he'd overheard Ziva or the other women talking about liking something that became a good present idea he could use himself or pass onto the appropriate husband.
Mark tipped his mug towards Tony. "Smart thinking D."
"Thank you." Tony's smug grin lasted only moments before his gaze strayed outside and his brow furrowed. "Man, when did it start coming down so hard out there?"
Mark swivelled in his seat to survey the blanket of wet snow now covering their cars. "I don't like the look of that." He checked his watch. "We may need to crash girl's night after all. I think I'm gonna grab the kids from Brent and head back. Can you call Jordan and let him know it might be a good idea to come get Allie? He doesn't like her driving alone when it's bad out and if he's working on a speech he probably hasn't even noticed the weather."
"Good idea." Tony was already grabbing his jacket and keys. "I hope Zi doesn't mind too much. I can only see how bad it could get if the wind picks up."
The traffic was already slowing down as Tony drove and he impatiently tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. There was no way he wanted to be separated from his wife with a storm brewing. Half an hour past when he should've gotten there, he pulled into Mark's driveway and blew in the door, shaking clumps of white stuff off his jacket and out of his hair. Cassie heard the door and came upstairs to check. "Tony? Why are you back so soon?" She glanced behind him. "Where's Mark? Is something-"
Tony interrupted the worry he could see forming and shook his head. "It's coming down thick and heavy out there. Sorry Cass, we have to make it an early night."
She went to the window and saw the inches that had accumulated just in the last couple hours. "Oh my."
"Yeah. Mark went to get Alec and McKenna but traffic sucks right now so don't expect them back right away."
The rest of the ladies filed upstairs to see what was going on and Ziva crossed her arms, eyeing her husband suspiciously. "Spying on us DiNozzo?"
He rolled his eyes. "No. I've actually come to rescue you."
She snorted and glanced at her friends. "That is not necessary. They are quite harmless." Her gaze moved to his best friend's wife. "Except Cassie when she wants to know something."
They all giggled but Tony huffed. "Funny girl. I didn't mean from them." He swung his arm towards the door. "It's a freakin' blizzard out there."
At that announcement the women crowded around Cassie at the window. Tony joined them, his hand coming to rest at Ziva's waist. "I still think it is just an excuse," she murmured, though the snowfall was quite obvious.
He nuzzled her ear. "I'm good babe, but even I couldn't order that just to invade girl's night."
"Hmm," she answered, as if not quite believing him.
Remembering his message to pass on, Tony turned back to the group. "Allie, Jordan's on his way so hang tight for now. CJ, Brent would like to come but can't leave Ry and doesn't want to bring him out in this. I'm to tell you to drive safe and that there's emergency supplies in the trunk if you need them. And I suggest you stick to backstreets because the main drags are getting pretty congested."
Seeing that he was in a hurry to leave, Ziva got her coat. Cassie looked between them and the snow. "Are you sure you shouldn't just stay here? We've got lots of room."
The couple conferred silently and Tony shook his head. "Thanks Cass, but we need to get home for Meira."
She bit her lip, then gave him and Ziva both tight hugs. "Okay. Be safe. I'll be praying."
He tugged her braid. "Thanks sis."
They bid the rest farewell and bundled into the car, which Tony put in drive then hesitated before pulling out a map. "I should know alternate routes well enough after living here for a decade, but I want to be sure."
Ziva didn't dare make fun of a man consulting a map and waited patiently while he tried to figure out the best way home. Even with careful planning it still took them a good three hours to get there, by which time they were wishing they'd taken Cassie up on her offer. Between playing word games, short bursts of conference calls with the rest of the gang keeping them updated (Mark and the kids eventually made it back long past their bedtime, CJ's commute took a few times longer than usual but she did return safely to her husband and son, while Jordan was still fighting traffic and trying to get to his wife when Tony and Ziva got home), talking, thinking, and sometimes kissing, the time had passed at a decent pace, but they'd never before been so glad to walk through the front door.
Meira was quite glad to see them and Tony apologized for missing her walk but led her to the backyard instead to do her business. "We'll make up for it as soon as things clear up girl. Trust me, you don't even want to go around the block when it's like this out."
Ziva crouched down when they came back, the dog's paws carefully dried on an old towel kept for that purpose, and offered her pet a few small treats. She murmured in Meira's ear and Tony watched with a smirk on his face. "And you say I'm the pushover?"
She kissed Meira's head and wiped her mouth before catching his lips between hers. "Once in awhile I am allowed."
He folded her in an embrace, sighing into her hair. "I'm really glad we got home safe."
"Me too." She was worried about Jordan caught in all the crazy traffic - they'd heard reports on the radio that after hours upon hours of waiting in gridlocked lanes some people were actually abandoning their vehicles and walking away - but kept that to herself.
Tony tipped her chin up for a brief kiss. "You know what we should do?"
"Hmm?"
"Watch a movie." The clock read almost time to get ready for bed but if he had to guess he'd say they certainly weren't going anywhere tomorrow, not with how bad the roads had been on their travels, plus they needed to wind down a bit before sleeping.
Ziva nodded. "I like that idea. Is it my turn to pick or yours?"
He looked towards the shelves. "I'm voting for Hallmark but you can choose which one." A nice, slow paced, feel-good movie would be a pleasant way to end the night.
They were just getting to the happy ending of their film, cuddled together on the couch, when the power flickered and abruptly shut off, leaving them in absolute silence as everything shut down. Tony and Ziva sat motionless for several moments, then she sighed. "It must be bedtime."
Losing electricity in the middle of the worst winter storm of the season when their heat depended on the ability to work the thermostat was cause for concern, so he appreciated his wife's outlook. "Guess so." He stared blankly into the darkness out their front window not even broken by streetlights and tapped his fingers on his leg. "Any idea where we put the flashlights?" After the last power outage that so traumatized his then-fragile wife, several of them had been purchased and left in strategic places around their home.
Ziva leaned over and reached for the coffeetable, pulling open the shallow end drawer. Producing a mini light, she clicked it on and turned to him. "There is a magnetic one on the side of the fridge, one in the top drawer of my desk, one under the sinks in the bathroom, one on the bottom shelves in our bedside tables, and one in the pocket of the futon mattress in the spare room."
Tony chuckled. "There are times I'm thankful for your memory babe. I guess we better start with brushing our teeth and go from there."
Though routines had to be adjusted slightly due to the lack of light, they still managed to get changed and into bed with minimal fuss. After about five minutes of trying to get comfortable, Ziva slid out and went to grab an extra blanket from the closet, unable to shake the chill gradually descending on the house. An hour and a half later Tony's phone beeped, tugging him from a deep sleep, which he begrudged until he read the message. It was worth waking up his wife to tell her Jordan finally made it back to Mark and Cassie's and he and Allie were spending the night in their basement guestroom.
Sleepily Ziva smiled, patting his chest. "I can only imagine how relieved Allie was to have her husband back safely." She felt fortunate that Tony had made it to them initially without the hours of waiting her friend endured.
He pulled her close again. "Jordan has a car charger for his cell. They probably spent the whole time talking. But I'm glad he's not on the road anymore."
Tony didn't want to say anything, but he'd been on edge knowing Jordan was out there in the storm. He would've bet anything that Cassie and Mark, and probably the rest too, had been praying for his journey. Sometimes more than others he believed the exercise did make a difference. They drifted back off to sleep with the warmth of extra covers and shared body heat surrounding them, and their dog and her bunny sleeping on the floor. The situation wasn't ideal, but everyone they cared about was safe and sound and that alone was reason for a peaceful night's rest.
NCIS
Thursday January 27
The phone rang early the next morning but it took several bars of the James Bond theme song to draw Tony out of a too short slumber. They'd been in bed later than normal and he hadn't expected to be woken before Ziva left for her non-Ops day swim at the pool now that the weather wasn't so conducive to running. With a groan he rolled over and felt around on the bedside table for his phone. He jabbed the right button and held it to his ear, barely opening his eyes a crack. "H'lo?"
Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Am I interrupting something DiNozzo?"
He dragged a hand down his face. "Other than sleep, no. I'm not usually doing anything else at 0530."
"Looked out the window recently?"
Tony squinted at their curtain covered bedroom window and sighed. "Not since last night."
"Roads are a mess. Got more than six inches overnight. Power's still out in half the city."
He cleared his throat. "Is that your way of telling me I have the day off? Because a simple, 'Don't bother coming in' would've sufficed."
"Stay home," Gibbs ordered, summing up the last minute.
"Did you call Ziva?" Tony yawned. "She could already be on her way." Although as she was currently cuddled up to his side and breathing relatively deeply that option was unlikely.
Gibbs barked a laugh. "I assume you can get off her couch and go tell her."
He frowned. "Why would I be on Ziva's couch?"
"Whenever there's a crisis I find you two together. Keep off the roads and no funny business just because no one's watching DiNozzo or there'll be a wake up call waiting for you tomorrow."
"Uh-huh," he answered non-committally. "Thanks for the head's up Boss. By-"
Before the word finished Gibbs had already hung up and Tony returned the phone to its resting spot. Ziva stirred, pressing even closer to him, and draped her arm over his waist. "I could be on my way to work?" she murmured.
He rubbed her pyjama clad arm. "Better safe than sorry. I can only volunteer to pass messages to you so often before something looks fishy."
"Gibbs already smells a fish if he thinks you are at my apartment." That is, the apartment she mentioned to the team when she 'moved' last January but never actually lived in.
"On the bright side, we have the day off," Tony commented, forgiving language errors so early.
"Good. Then we can sleep." She was on her way back into dreams as they spoke.
Tony had no arguments and shifted positions a bit, wrapping his arms fully around his wife. "Sleep tight babe," he whispered, grazing her temple with a kiss.
They took full advantage of the extra time and Ziva only woke again a few hours later because of the way he was holding her. She rubbed his arm gently back and forth, finally drawing him into a semi-coherent state. "I am fine Tony," she said quietly and he blinked, confused.
"Huh?"
She wove their fingers together. "You are holding me the way you do after a nightmare. But I am okay."
He chuckled and nuzzled her neck. "It's cold in here and you're soft and warm, that's all."
Ziva moved onto her back, skimming her fingers of her cheek. "Well, my husband has good taste in sleepwear."
Her lips were on his with no further delay and he was suddenly much more awake. When they parted he dug his fingers into her hair, nudging her nose with his and pretending he was going to kiss her but only teasing as she tried to catch his lips with hers again. "I don't suppose that excellent taste could extend to an observation about how your pyjamas might look on the floor?"
Now she was the one playing hard to get as she evaded his mouth and shrugged one shoulder. "I am not sure. Perhaps we should go swimming inst-" But the rest of her thought was lost when Tony captured her lips, kissing her deeply and passionately and leaving no room for refusal. "Alright," she managed when he released her briefly to work the buttons on her shirt and after that there was nothing but the two of them together making very good use of an unexpected morning off.
NCIS
Friday January 28
Feeling a little bit vacation-y after the luxurious, lazy free time they'd indulged in yesterday, Ziva brought her book from Tijon to work and tried to finish the final third while she slowly sipped a hot mug of soup for lunch. It wasn't until the last ten pages when she found a folded piece of paper she didn't remember tucking in there. All thoughts of the book were forgotten when she opened it up and saw the love letter her husband had written on the plane trip home while she slept. Leaning her chin on one hand, she read with a slight smile on her lips as Tony's handwriting recounted the highlights of their trip (pretty much every moment he spent with her), spoke of his hopes for their future honeymoon and how it would be different from this most recent holiday, and thanked her again for the way she loved him with such an open heart when she had every right to keep it hidden away and protected after the many hurts she'd suffered. He ended it with, You will always be my greatest gift Zi. I love you. With all my heart, Tony.
Ziva read his offering twice, barely managing to keep the tears at bay. Then, since her husband hadn't yet returned from the lunch run with McGee, she took advantage of the time to pen him a letter in return thanking him for suggesting the vacation and for his thoughtfulness in all the activities so carefully selected and planned. She told him how wonderful those relaxing eight days had been and confessed that the highlight of the whole thing had been spending so much time with him free of the constraints of their work life. She matched him sentiment for sentiment, declaration of love for declaration of love, and added that she had never felt more cherished than when he thought of her first above all things, but explained that it was now her turn to reciprocate that kind of love. She signed off that she was looking forward to this new year and all the opportunities it gave her to treat him the way he deserved. Her signature read Ziva DiNozzo underneath a heartfelt, Ani ohevet otcha bechol libi (I love you with all my heart).
She was just leaving it at the back of the current report he was working on when the elevator dinged and she dashed back to her seat. She appeared engrossed in the book as he and McGee returned with food orders but read the same paragraph five times before laying the book aside and heading back to the breakroom to wash out her mug. Sometimes she liked love letters to be completely unexpected and she didn't want to give anything away by the way she looked at him.
Maintaining her somewhat mysterious demeanor, Ziva left before him to go to Ops but cut it short as they had been kept at the office later than usual and was already in the shower when Tony returned from taking Meira on a long walk to make up for what she'd missed the past two days. From the bathroom came unfamiliar words sung in his wife's smooth alto and like a magnet they drew him in.
"Time is made from honey slow and sweet/only the fools know what it means/Temptation, temptation, temptation I can't resist-"
She hadn't even made it to the second verse when Tony slipped in behind her, intending to kiss her senseless and show her how crazy she could make him just by the sound of her voice, but he immediately yelped and jumped back out onto the bathmat. "Geez Zi, why's the water so hot?"
Ziva smiled coyly and tipped her head back under the spray, running her hands first down her hair, then her body, holding his complete attention. Before she could tease him any further, however, he shoved the temperature down some and pulled her flush against him, taking over her mouth for a deep kiss that stole all her clarity. She smirked when he released her, trailing her hands slowly down his biceps. "See something you like?"
He drew a shaky breath. "Oh yeah." His admission led to a little more making out until he finally bothered to release her and get clean. "I don't recognize that song."
"Oh." Ziva hesitated to elaborate but decided it was worth a reaction that could fall on either side of the good and evil line. "When I was undercover for Mossad in Morocco, you know, the video Abby sent you? I was a club singer. 'Temptation' was the song I used the night of the explosion." She did not at all like to remember that role, coming onto many men including Isaac as part of her cover. The whole thing made her sick because she should have only been doing that kind of performing for her own husband, but he had been nowhere near enough nor did he possess the power to save her from such an assignment.
Tony remained silent for a moment, chewing on his lip as he debated how he wanted to handle the memory. "Didn't get a very good look in the video, was kind of busy just being glad you were alive, but I take it they had you in some pretty smokin' outfits for that kind of gig."
Pleased that he was keeping it light, she smirked. "Oh yes. I believe you would have approved." Taking his hands she moved them to her back, tracing a line where the fabric had covered. When she ran his fingers right under the dimples above her behind, his eyes widened.
"Seriously?"
Ziva chuckled. "If we had flies in the shower, you would be catching them."
His eyes and mouth snapped closed and he got a kind of dreamy expression on his face. "Excuse me while I fantasize for a minute."
Throaty laughter reached his ears. "I will draw you a picture, later," she promised lowly, nipping at his jaw.
The fun they proceeded to have left little concentration for anything else, but in the weighted silence following their intimacy Ziva sang the French lyrics in barely more than a whisper with pauses inbetween as she slowly caught her breath. Tony savoured the sound of another language flowing off her tongue before his gentle kiss stole the words away. Mutual pleasure bred satisfaction and it was a content couple that crawled into bed still warm from the hot water and their previous activities.
Tony had expected them to fall right to sleep, but instead Ziva turned to face him and he could tell by her eyes she was about to share something significant. Waiting patiently for her to find the words, he twirled a damp curl around his finger, thankful again that she rarely ever bothered to straighten it. He loved the natural wave so much better. "I was looking for something in my journal yesterday and came across an entry for..." she paused, deciding what phrasing to use. "It was the second time we tried making love after the summer."
He couldn't help it, his mind was immediately drawn back in time to the night after a case involving his father wrapped up. Having spent nearly eight months at that point without having her, their initial tries were irrevocably etched in his memory. Embarrassed didn't begin to cover how he'd felt, finishing too soon after all their waiting. Mortified was more like it and the emotions surged back as she recalled the memory. Ziva read it all in a glance at his face and put her hand to his cheek. "I am not trying to remind you of anything that is not good."
Tony swallowed and nodded. "Okay."
"I wrote the next day that I felt ready then to give up on sex before we'd even gotten anywhere. I was so disappointed, not in you ahava but that our hopes didn't even compare to experiencing it again for real. But soon after that night was Paris and I am again so thankful that you were brave enough with me to keep trying to find a way past all of the desert issues I brought into our bed. I look back now and I am incredibly glad I didn't give up because Tony, look at what we would've missed." Ziva thought of the shower earlier, their vacation, and how many times on a regular basis they took each other to bed without even a second thought having to be spared on the things that once kept them apart. She offered him a faint smile. "We made it, but none of this success would've happened without your patience, persistence, and very undeserved commitment."
He dragged her close, cradling her against his body, one hand holding her head and the other cupping her waist. "Once we said 'I do' nothing we gave each other was undeserved commitment honey. And you worked just as hard as me, if not more, to get us to where we are today. Do you have any idea how much I love you?" She shook her head slowly because she always liked to hear it again and he rested their foreheads together. "So much babe, so, so much."
"And I you. Yakiri, ani ohevet otcha mikol halev." I love you from the bottom of my heart.
There was nothing more that could be said and a few gentle kisses later the couple cuddled into their typical spooning position. The last thing Ziva heard was what her husband whispered so quietly he probably thought she had already drifted off. "Thank you for not giving up." And she knew from that moment on she would always find him and everything about them worth fighting for, no matter what.
NCIS
Sunday January 30
It was their first family dinner of the new year and the only one she could remember to be held on a Sunday. Of course, there was special circumstances involved and they were all more than happy to suspend their regularly scheduled basketball game in favour of the meal so the newly returned world travelers could make it. CJ was the first to draw Emma into a gentle hug when they walked in while Cassie threw herself at Adrian, having missed him more than she expected over the last month. They switched places and then the whole group swarmed them with the kids at the forefront, everyone talking over each other and asking questions until Brent did his patented piercing whistle and they all fell silent.
He stuck his hands in his pockets, rolling his eyes. "You guys are worse than my students. How about one at a time? And maybe let them get past the door before you smother them to death."
Adrian grinned and pulled his friend into a bro hug. "Gosh, so bossy Coach. I don't know how the kids ever put up with you."
Mark was next and ran his eyes over both of them. "You look good Zip. I guess New Zealand weather agrees with you."
"It was the surfing," Emma shared, slipping her arm around her husband's waist.
"And my brother. And the kids," he continued. "Everything was great."
"I hope you don't decide to stay one of these days," Tony commented. He was getting very used to having his frat brothers around.
Adrian snorted. "Like you could get rid of me that easily Big D. I hope there's another trip coming sometime in the next few years, but we couldn't stay away from this place forever."
"Good to hear," Darien interjected, wrapping both Adrian and Emma in a hug. "So, are we gonna eat or what?"
At the mention of food Cassie ushered them all into the kitchen and let everyone figure out seating while she brought the food over. Adrian and Jordan immediately jumped in to help and soon they were all ready for Mark to say the blessing. There was a bit of commotion until all plates were filled and then the questions started, with Cassie's strict instructions that Adrian and Emma be allowed take at least two bites between each one so they didn't starve before the meal was over.
"When did you guys get back yesterday?" Jordan wanted to know.
"It was around nine by the time we went home." Adrian glanced at his wife. "We both slept for almost twelve hours straight and still made it to church this morning, not bad considering jetlag."
Cassie gave them the mother look. "Are you going to survive the evening?" They both looked a little weary.
Adrian grinned. "We'll just borrow some energy from the amigos. I'm sure you guys have lots to spare, right?"
"I hope you brought a lot of pictures back with you," Allie said.
Emma chuckled. "The question is not did he bring pictures back but-"
"How many?" Mark filled in. "Shoulda figured. What's the final count Zip?"
Adrian looked around and shrugged. "Oh...you know four thousand or so." Some mouths around the table fell open and he spread his hands in a gesture of innocence. "We were gone for a whole month! The number could be a lot higher."
Tony shook his head. "Were there any seconds you missed or did you get every single one?"
Ziva nudged him. "A month of seconds would be in the millions ahava, not the thousands."
He wrinkled his nose at her. "Trust you to know that. What about minutes?"
"Still too high."
"Hours?"
The others at the table were watching the exchange with no small amount of amusement. "Not enough." She thought about it for a moment. "I suppose you would have to break it down into ten minute or quarter hour segments to get close enough."
Allie leaned her chin on one hands. "Oh the things we learn at these get togethers."
Tony kissed Ziva's temple. "What can I say? My wife is brilliant." She muttered something in Hebrew at him and he cleared his throat. "So Flicka, what was the best part for you?"
They traded stories back and forth for the rest of the meal, as Adrian and Emma were keen to hear about their vacation as well, and after dishes were cleared and everyone had their hot drinks - apple cider this time instead of tea or coffee - Tony returned to the entrance and came back with a large gift bag. "While Zi and I were away we found this great little gift shop, attached to the perfume place she told you all about, and decided we needed to get souvenirs for everyone. We're doing it now because we had to wait for the slowpokes to get back." Adrian tossed a balled up napkin at his friend and they laughed. Tony glanced at his wife. "Honey, you want to do the honours?"
She nodded and lifted out the first item. "We will start with the youngest." McKenna was handed the cute purple unicorn they'd chosen for their niece. "Her name is Jonti. We hope you will be good friends."
Eyes wide, Ken accepted the toy and cradled it against her chest. "Oh Aunt Ziva, she's so soft!" She pressed her face into the animal's fur and looked up. "And she smells really good!"
"I would not be surprised if there is a perfume sachet of some kind inside." The next one was for Ryan. "I hope we made the right choice chamudi and that you are not too old for this."
Tony passed him the white baby sea lion named Jinto and Ryan grinned. "No, it's great. Thanks Uncle Tony! I'll put him with my panda."
"Alec, we didn't want to duplicate anything and you've never been one for stuffed animals so we got you a t-shirt." Tony shook it out to display the picture. "This way you can show your friends and tell them you got it from a really neat island."
Alec smiled and took the shirt, holding it up so his sister and cousin could get a better look. "Thanks Uncle Tony, Aunt Ziva. I'll wear it tomorrow." Then he stage whispered to his mom. "It's my favourite colour."
She rubbed his shoulder. "Nice to have people around who know you, huh?"
He nodded and the gift giving continued. "For Allie and Cassie we got similar presents. It is obvious by your friendship that you are closer than most sisters so we wanted you to have something alike." Allie got a scentable bracelet while Cassie received the matching necklace. They both sniffed at the jewellery delicately, pleased by the pleasant fragrance.
"If this is a sample of what they carry in that shop, we may have to take a group trip there someday," Cassie announced. The girls all grinned while the husbands began thinking about how that would work financially if their wives really wanted to do it. Then again, the benefits of taking them away to a tropical island paradise would probably be more than enough compensation for their efforts.
CJ and Emma were given different colours and shapes of scented candles and admired each other's scents, then it was Tony's turn to hand out the mens' gifts. Ziva frowned playfully at them. "It is not a joke when we say men are the hardest ones to buy for. Tony was in charge of yours."
He slung his arm around her waist. "With a lot of valuable input from you." She rolled her eyes and he held out a handful of small vials. "In the end we really couldn't decide. Even with as well as we know you, everyone's sense of smell is different. So we got sample sizes of the most popular colognes for all of you to test out. When you pick the one you like best we'll order full bottles of it. We didn't want to leave you out."
"Smart thinking man," Darien offered as the men gathered at one end of the table to try the colognes out.
When their wives started to rise from their seats Tony pointed at them. "Uh-uhn. Stay there. You got your presents already, it's their turn."
They all managed to look a little sheepish for making it appear that the guys needed their help choosing and waited impatiently while their husbands debated. In the end the men checked with their wives anyways about which they preferred and the women, thinking that Tony had a point, encouraged them to go with what they liked best. Ziva made a list of who wanted what and promised to put in the order the following week, hoping they wouldn't have to wait too long. The girls gathered around the sink once everyone's mugs were empty to start washing and drying while the guys took care of storing the table leaves and extra chairs. Some of them nudged their wives out of the way and took over dish duty, the rest just hung around close to their other halves and chatted amongst themselves.
Near the end Adrian piped up. "Em and I were thinking about it on the plane ride home, we got your email about the change of plans before we left, and realized that we somehow forgot our house is big enough to host group dinners, if you didn't always want us invading Cass."
Cassie seemed surprised. "We don't mind having you guys here, ever."
Mark put his arm around her shoulders. "But once in awhile it might be nice for you to let someone else do the work."
She nodded slowly, acquiescing to his previously expressed desire that she accept help from the gang instead of always doing everything. "Sure, sometime, if you want."
Tony and Ziva knew they couldn't have the whole gang over to their place due to lack of space, but they had been thinking about having individual couples over for dinner for awhile now. Brent and CJ exchanged glances, though they already knew the way the first floor in their house was designed didn't make for an easy gathering place like Mark and Cassie's open concept kitchen and livingroom did. Jordan and Allie resolved to keep the group dinners in mind when they started checking out houses, something they were saving for right now with all of Allie's income going towards the goal of owning one. And hopefully someday they'd be able to fill the extra rooms with their own kids. Darien's apartment was spacious but too far from the others to be a convenient gathering spot. He'd thought about downsizing when he retired and finding a place closer to the others, meaning he'd have to settle for supplying dessert rather than having them all to dinner.
Adrian grinned. "Cool. Sorry it took us six months to figure out though. That was one of the things I was thinking about during the original house tours."
Tony clapped him on the back. "We'll chalk it up to jetlag so as not to make you feel worse about old age and your failing memory."
"Look who's talking," Adrian shot back. "Coming from the man who's only got four months on me."
"What can I say? Some of us have it, some don't." Not only the comment but the tone with which it was delivered inspired a wrestling match and Cassie for once left Mark to sort them out while she began doling out dessert.
The ruckus didn't last long and some drifted towards the livingroom while others headed downstairs. They'd eventually get around to whatever movie the kids had chosen, for now it was just a good opportunity to hang out and catch up with each other. Ziva perched on the armchair Darien had claimed and he looked up in surprise. "Did I steal your spot?" She and Tony often appropriated that particular piece of furniture because it gave them an excuse to cuddle, having to share the space.
Ziva shook her head. "No, you are welcome to it."
She studied him for a moment and it made the big brown man a little uncomfortable. "Something I can help you with?"
Her eyes were quite serious when she spoke. "I understand by what I've gathered from the others that you are single by choice." He nodded, seeming a little wary. Ziva's brow furrowed. "And you are truly okay with state?" She bit her lip, knowing it was personal territory. "I just hate to think of you being alone when the rest of us are all happily married. I know what it is to be lonely Darien."
He put his hand over hers and smiled. "I've been the topic of conversation at girls' night again, huh?" Ziva's lips twitched but she did not reveal any secrets. "You're not the first one to try and stage an intervention, I've spent years evading Cassie and Allie's attempts to set me up."
"I am sure any woman would be lucky to end up with a caring, dependable man like you."
"Your compliment is noted and appreciated, but I really am content to stay single." Darien prepared to explain before she could ask. "My lifestyle is not conducive to a relationship Ziva. I'm training or playing every day of the week. I'm recognized sometimes whether I want to be or not. Football and the gang, that's my life. What free time I do have is spent here, with my second family. The family I was born into is large, loud, loving and scattered all over the Southern states. I fit there, I belong, and they know every embarrassing story since I was born. I don't see them often, but when I do I want to be able to focus on what matters to all of them without any other distractions." He leaned back and crossed his arms. "Beyond that, I'm content to be an apostle Paul sort of man - just God, the game, and the group I fell into."
Ziva could hear the truth in his words but it still made her a little sad to think of him missing out on the kind of intimacy she shared with Tony, when someone knew all the best and worst parts and loved you anyways. "Alright," she said quietly. "I'm sorry to have pried."
Darien chuckled. "It's how I know I'm loved. You girls show it when you meddle."
Just then the kids ran over and Ziva jumped out of the way to avoid being tackled. "Uncle Red, you promised," McKenna reminded him.
He raised an eyebrow. "You ask your mom?"
"She did," Alec confirmed. "Mom said yes."
Darien nodded. "Okay then, if she's alright having her livingroom torn apart we're going to build the best blanket fort ever!"
"Yay!" all three cheered.
Adrian wandered over, feeling like he was missing out, and Darien stared at him. "This is a task only for the fun uncles, you up for it?"
He grinned. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
While the five of them got busy gathering supplies, Ziva drifted back to those still lounging around the kitchen and lingering over dessert. Tony handed her a cup of tea and looped his arm around her waist as they watched the project begin to unfold. She thought later that Darien was right and he wasn't missing out after all. He had the kind of family others could only dream about and they loved him enough to make up for anything else.
Replies:
Guest - Thanks! I have chosen not to watch the show since 11x02 but I've heard enough to know that the way they handled her absence doesn't fit with any of the character personalities they spent a decade creating. Anyhow, that's the perk of fanfiction, we can make things as it should be. In RofS and MIT and most other of my stories Gibbs is a good dad. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah
Debbie - Adrian said what I'm hoping for someday. I think that'll be one of the best parts of being married. I think the people that have already found that should be very grateful for the gift :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah