A/N: Is it… could it be…? An actual pranking chapter?! :O :O :O *shot*

Wonderland's hedge maze never felt too confusing to me. Maybe it was from growing up in the Wayward Burrows, which were pretty mazelike themselves. Whatever the reason, I felt like I had a pretty good sense of direction.

Still, that only helped if I actually knew which direction I was supposed to be going.

"What if Xaldin already got all the treasure chests?" Roxas asked.

Axel had already prepared me for that. "Then I'll make one out of metal, and R-2 can color it." Personally, I was more worried about running into Xaldin than any other parts of the prank, but Axel vaguely promised he had that covered. Considering we probably wouldn't get a better opportunity than this, all I could do was trust him.

"Yay! More colors!" I think R-2 was getting color-withdrawal from being confined to the greyscale Castle That Never Was. Wonderland's variety was good for him; I just hoped the Queen or her card soldiers didn't catch him painting her roses vermillion, and chartreuse, and cerulean, and periwinkle… I wouldn't have known the colors' names, except he repeated them several times out loud whenever he painted a rose that color.

Xion held the camera, since she was the best at technology out of our group, and the least likely to leave her thumb in front of the lens. Unlike me. There wasn't much to film yet though for the supposedly 'best prank yet.'

"Is Skinny Flaming Pyro Man coming soon?" R-2 asked, hovering along beside me with his hand outstretched, leaving a bright yellow trail through the hedge. It helped us keep track of where we'd been, but I still worried what Xaldin would think if he saw it. According to Axel, he was on recon around here, but the maze was big enough that we hadn't crossed paths. At least, not yet.

"I don't know." Axel had been acting kind of weird, wanting me to take "his" kids while he went to fetch the shrinking and growth potions. It was useful enough – Roxas and Xion took care of the insane amounts of emblem Heartless for us, so their hearts wouldn't go to waste. Still, it wasn't like Axel to willingly leave "his" kids; I could have easily done his job. And then I wouldn't have had to worry about Xaldin with every step I took.

"Here." Xion handed Roxas a potion from one of her panels after he finished off a Striped Aria.

"Thanks." He chugged it down, then wiped his mouth. "I've never seen this many Heartless here before."

"I haven't seen this many Heartless since Vexen's lab," R-2 commented, shuddering. "I hate Heartless."

Roxas and Xion nodded their agreement. "Heartless are bad. But their hearts are good."

"Why are they called Heartless if they have hearts?" R-2 asked. Huh, that wasn't such a bad question. Why were they called Heartless?

"Your guess is as good as mine." I shrugged.

"They're bad and mean. Like they don't have hearts. But they do. They have mean hearts." He frowned. "You're a Nobody. Nobodies come from people turning into Heartless. Do you have a mean Heartless?"

I'd never thought about that before, either. "…I don't know. " How did he know about Heartless and Nobodies' origins, anyway? Must've learned in Vexen's lab, unless Axel or Demyx explained it to him some time when I wasn't there.

"I don't want you to have a bad Heartless," he told me. "I would find that Heartless and make it disappear."

"If I have one, it's probably just like everyone else's Heartless. Maybe you've already killed it."

He smiled proudly, straightening the drawstrings on his coat. "You will not have a bad Heartless. It will go goodbye. So will your Heartless, Rox."

"Okay." The blond frowned uncertainly. "What about Xion's Heartless?"

R-2 frowned, taking a deep sniff. "Xion is like me. She doesn't have a Heartless."

"What?" Her brow furrowed. "I'm a Nobody, R-2. Of course I have a Heartless. Or had one, at least."

He shook his head with conviction. "Nope. You smell different."

"R-2, don't talk about how people smell. It's rude," I informed him.

"But she does!" He insisted, coat briefly flashing orange. "She smells like memories. Soft and fluffy and buttery and vanilla-y. It's a good smell."

Sometimes I really had no idea what he was talking about. Xion just stared at him, but thankfully was distracted by the appearance of more Heartless. She and Roxas sprung into action before I could even summon my mace, so I let them handle it.

When that group of Heartless had vanished into floating pink hearts, R-2 let the subject drop (for once) and went back to playing with Roxas and Xion, who made up games like "Right or Left," where they took turns choosing which direction to go when we reached an intersection.

"Right," Xion said. As long as we weren't going in circles, which we weren't, I let them lead the way.

To the right, the hedge maze dead-ended – right at a treasure chest, and a snoring Demyx.

"I wish I could be surprised," I deadpanned. Actually, I sort of was. Did everyone get sent to Wonderland today?

"Dem-Dem!" R-2 flew over to where the lazy bum slept draped over the treasure chest. "What are you doing here? Are you on a mission too? Why are you sleeping? Did you stay up too late? Did you eat breakfast? Was it bacon? Huh?"

Demyx snored straight through the stream of questions. However, he didn't snore through me shoving him off of the chest.

"Wah! Xaldin please don't kill me I'm working really – Oh." He sighed in relief. "Hey Xenan. Hey R-2. Kirux. Do I have to call you Kirux?"

"Not around Rox and Xion," he told him.

"Good. Hey R-2."

"Hi Dem-Dem."

I opened the treasure chest – nice, an Orichalcum; I'd been needing one of those. "Now Axel just needs to get his butt over here." I closed the chest and sat down on it.

"I'll go get him," Roxas and Xion volunteered simultaneously.

"You might as well both go," I said, and they nodded and disappeared through a corridor.

"Is he coming with the potion?" Demyx asked.

"Yeah – wait, how do you know that?"

He gave me a funny look. "'Cause he told me about the prank. What, was it supposed to be a secret? You weren't trying to prank me, right?"

"No, just – fine, whatever." I didn't have to understand Axel's logic; I just needed Xaldin to get pranked. The sooner and faster, the better.

"I got paired with Xaldin. Axel wanted me to keep track of him, but we… uh, got separated." He ran a hand through the sleep-squished side of his hair. "So I thought I'd help you out and find you a treasure chest."

"And take a nap." I rolled my eyes.

"Heheh…"

"Wait. Axel told you to watch Xaldin, that's why he said we'd be fine! But you're not watching him!" My old rudeness boiled up; I slugged him (pretty lightly) in the chest. "You took a nap and now we don't know where he is! For all we know, he could show up any second!" I should have questioned Axel's plan; I was too anxious to get this over with. There was a reason I'd rather not put all my trust in one person. That person might whip up a plan with all the structural integrity of a house of cards.

"Chill out, Xenan! This place is so big, it'll take him forever to find—"

When we heard a corridor open, Demyx squealed and dove behind me, skidding into the spiny hedge. I just froze, knowing a bush wouldn't save me from Xaldin's wrath. Luckily for both of us, it was only Axel.

"Am I dead yet?" Demyx whimpered.

Axel rolled his eyes. "Get your head out of the bush, Demyx."

Roxas and Xion came out of the corridor behind him. Xion held the camera at the ready, filming the redhead as he placed an innocent-looking potion bottle in the chest. R-2 shut the lid, probably wanting to feel included.

"So that's it?" I asked.

"'Course not. Now we—"

Demyx suddenly yanked his head out of the bush, leaves sticking from his hair at random. "It's Xaldin!" He yell-whispered. "He's coming!"

I yanked him up by his hood. "Then come on!"

Thank goodness R-2 was weightless on his windsail; I pulled him behind me as we dashed across the intersection. Axel, Roxas, Xion, and Demyx were on my heels. I wished there were less of us; we were too conspicuous. I could hear Xaldin's deep battle cries when we crossed the intersection, and for once, I was grateful for the Heartless. A large mix of Grey Caprice, Striped Aria, and Pink Concerto varieties intercepted his path.

"Demyx, you go back," Axel whispered.

"What?!"

"You're supposed to be keeping tabs on him, genius!"

"Oh, yeah. Right." He sighed. "Ugh, work…"

Axel and I shoved him out from behind our corner of the hedge, ignoring his squeak of protest.

"Now what?" I asked when the rest of us retreated a few twists and turns deeper.

"Now," Axel said, "we get ready to film."

"How?" Xion asked. "He'll see us."

Axel smiled. "Trust me, Xi. Or, you can trust R-2."

"Me?" He asked in excitement, coatsleeves flashing bright yellow for a moment. "What do I get to do?"

"You, my young friend, have the honor of filming our funniest prank yet."

"Uh, excuse me," I interrupted. "Two problems with that: one, shaving off Xaldin's sideburns was obviously the funniest prank. Two, I'm not letting you send R-2 out to do the most dangerous part!"

"Sheesh, and the other members call me a momma bear." Axel rolled his eyes.

"What's a momma bear?" Roxas asked as Xion, ever loyal to Axel, handed R-2 the camera.

Axel coughed. "Not important. The point is, he's the one with the flying surfboard."

"Windsail."

"Whatever. He can fly up and film over the hedges, and he can turn invisible if he needs to. He's perfect for the job."

For once, logic actually backed up Axel's plan. "Well… I guess that's safer than any of us trying to sneak up on foot," I reluctantly admitted. "Are you up to it?"

He nodded with an eager grin. "I have a question though. What's a sideburn?"

"The fuzzy parts on the side of Xaldin's face," Roxas explained.

"Oh. Shaving those does sound like a funnier prank. Can we do that instead?"

Axel and I shouted a unanimous "NO."

"Aww."

He turned on the camera and hovered shakily up to the top of the hedge, peering over it while muttering something about face-fuzz. I paced back and forth in the bush-walled corridor, staring up at him. I hated not being able to see what was going on. I could hear Heartless getting destroyed on the other side, but not much else.

"He opened the chest!" R-2 yell-whispered down to us as the battle noises died down.

"Great, but how do we know if he'll use it?" I asked Axel, who grinned as wide as the Cheshire Cat himself.

"That's where we come in."

XXX

Technically I was the "hunter" in this situation, but trapped within the tall, dark hedge walls, I felt like prey. R-2 kept watch from above; Axel had taken the other kids and split up from us.

"Those are nice face-fuzzies. Could I grow some? Would they be soft and silky?" R-2 patted the hairless sides of his face.

"Shh," I hushed him while stifling a laugh. "You can't let Xaldin hear you."

"Fiiiiine…" He sighed. "He's over there. Top left. Dem-Dem is trying to run away. Skinny Flaming Pyro Man is shooting Fire out of a bush."

"Good." I wanted to let Axel do all the work; he could pretend to be Scarlet Tango or whatever. He probably didn't need my help to lower Xaldin's HP.

"Fuzzy Face is getting mad."

I coughed to hide my laugh at R-2's newly coined nickname. "Fuzzy Face" could stab me in six places at once if he wanted to. I was glad not to be on camera duty; as anxious as I was, I had a feeling I would panic if I had to see what was actually going on.

I did see a bolt of Thunder magic crash in the distance. "Was that Xion or Roxas?"

"Xion," R-2 answered. "Fuzzy Face's HP is low. He should drink a potion."

"Well, that's the plan." There were still so many variables. He could drink the wrong potion, he could use an elixir instead –

CRASH crunch crunch SNAP cruuuuuunch

R-2 was smart enough to fly down as the sounds of hedges being crushed assaulted our ears. After all, we could see the Darkside-sized, dreadlocked, sideburned giant just fine from down here.

"Axel," I fumed to myself, "if Xaldin doesn't do it first, I am going to kill you."

"I don't get it." R-2 frowned, staring up at the monster our 'prank' had created. "He was supposed to be tiny."

"He was. Axel put in the wrong potion!" Now, instead of a tiny Xaldin we could all laugh at, we had a giant Xaldin who could squish us like bugs.

R-2 kept filming until I took the camera and corridored it to my room. Maybe it was the wrong prank, but turning Xaldin huge still counted as pranking him, right? Either way, he didn't know we were behind this yet, and we might be able to get out alive if we kept it that way.

"Hmm. A new item." Xaldin's booming voice echoed over the hedges. "Demyx, make yourself useful and add that to our reconnaissance notes."

I wasn't close enough to hear Demyx's reply, but he was probably whimpering in fear. I was pretty sure I whimpered myself when his giant cobalt blue eyes locked onto me. I screamed when he lifted me by my hood.

I'm so dead. I'm 200% dead.

"Xenan. Is it safe to assume you're up to no good?" His eyes narrowed, but each was still about as large as my face, which I could see reflected in his black pupils.

"M-mission. D-d-destroying sh-shadow globs," I stuttered pathetically, gulping. He could literally eat me right now. Not that I could think of any reason why he would do that, but he could. His white teeth were like bleached tombstones when he opened his mouth to speak. All I needed to do was carve my name in one. Anne-Xenan Smith, 5123—5142. Fought Heartless all her life just to get eaten by her giant coworker. Don't prank you neighbors, kids. Yep, that'd make a great inscription.

"And you. Kirux. Did your mission require two amateurs?"

"Yep! Xen-Xen took me on my first mission!" I wondered if he even knew what "amateurs" meant. "We beat up purple polka-dots. I can't have one as a pet."

"If you're attempting to be cute, you're wasting your time." Xaldin glared disdainfully. "And as for Shadow Globs, I see none. If you needed a lie, you should've at least put some thought into it."

"In the f-forest," I clarify, actually not lying. "We got r-rid of them all. Now we were j-just," I gulped again, keeping my eyes open. So my life wouldn't flash before them. "L-looking for treasure chests."

"Hmph." His eyes searched me, but he didn't seem to find anything he could use against me so far. I dangled there, awaiting my fate. "You're in luck, Xenan. If it were not for the shortage of members, this would be an excellent time to…"

"Get revenge?" I asked, wincing. He stroked his chin with the hand that wasn't keeping me suspended twenty feet off the ground. Still, it was much less terrifying to look down than to look at Xaldin's hardened face.

"Not revenge," he replied coldly. "Justice."

Well, that sounded so much better, coming from someone who hated my guts. Would, anyway, if he had a heart.

"Xenan!" Demyx called from below. "Hang on, I'll—uh… "

I rolled my eyes. "Still hanging." Literally.

All Xaldin had to do was glance down at Demyx, and my best friend squeaked and fled. So much for that.

"Physically breaking you may be against the Organization's best interests at the moment," Xaldin mused. "However, there are other things dear to you besides your pitiful life."

A hysteric laugh built deep in my throat. "What's th-that supposed to mean?"

Before, I'd thought Xigbar had the most terrifying evil grin. Never had I been so wrong. "I'll leave that to your imagination. For now."

My imagination didn't need an extra boost. My body did. I had to get out of here, didn't matter that I might fall to my death, had to get out, better than torture by Xaldin—

I squirmed, but I couldn't wriggle my hood free from his grip, even when I reached up to tug at it. I was like a cat caught by its scruff, trapped; what was he going to do to me? What did he think was dear to me? Sleep, food, not being in pain? He didn't have to kill me to hurt me; he could cut me open and pour potions on me again and again, cutting and healing so I'd still be alive, but horribly, physically and mentally scarred…

But his sight wasn't set on me anymore. Something dear to me. He knew. He knew I could care, I could feel, and he knew I cared about—

"Wait!" I yelled before he could reach down to grab R-2, who was staring up with new terror in his eyes. "I'm a Nobody! No heart, remember? Why would I care about anything besides myself?"

Xaldin paused. "Perhaps you'd care to enlighten me."

Was I hallucinating, or was he actually curious? It didn't matter. There was only one way I could protect R-2 – I had to bluff my way through this. "I only care about getting my heart back and saving my own lousy skin. What else is there to care about?"

Clearly he didn't buy it. "You mean to say you care nothing for your crippled friend." He plucked R-2 up anyway, shaking him off of his windsail, before Axel, Roxas, and Xion could attempt to stop him from below. Not that they could have done much, but maybe they could've bought me some time. "Your friend for whom you built a new leg, and who you assisted on your mission, despite his obvious weakness. Coddling weaknesses is the surest sign of pathetic emotions."

"I-I don't care for him." I had to avert my gaze from R-2's watering eyes, and still my voice wavered. How could I be more convincing? And if I did convince Xaldin… would R-2 forgive me? "He is a valuable asset to our Organization. He may need to be restored to full health first, but he is not a weakness. He proved on this mission that his prosthetic leg will not be an issue."

"Strictly an asset to our Organization." Xaldin's eyes narrowed.

"Yes," I answered, gulping.

"Xen-Xen…" R-2 murmured, eyes wide with fear. I had to resist the urge to comfort him, or I would be putting both our necks on the guillotine.

"Hmph… then you won't mind if I test his pain tolerance. To make sure he can be asset you say he is."

"No!" The outburst left me before I could check myself; the horrific vision of torture flashing vividly to mind, only this time with R-2 in my place. He'd been through enough torture with Vexen. No more. Not while I could do something about it.

I summoned my mace, flinging it towards R-2, trusting my lack of aim. It didn't let me down – R-2 flinched, but it was Xaldin's hand that took the off-course blow. His grip loosened, and R-2 fell, down, down –

I didn't have time to see what happened to him, because Xaldin was lifting me up, summoning his spears – which were also giant now. Stupid Wonderland logic; that wasn't even fair. Anyway, I wasn't waiting around for him to impale me with them. I'd rather fall to my death.

"Hmph. Your lying skills still leave much to be desired." Xaldin's grip tightened on my coat. My coat – he only had me by my coat!

"But if you would rather suffer, I will grant you your wish," he continued, looking strangely pleased, despite not having a heart to feel pleasure with. But now wasn't the time for philosophy. Struggling, I maneuvered my arms out of my coat, jerking free of the sleeves.

I didn't realize gravity would work so fast—no time to come up with a last-second plan, no time to even brace for the bone-breaking impact that was sure to come—

Suddenly I crashed, but not into the ground.

"Xen-Xen." R-2 had caught me bridal-style while hovering on his windsail, which I could tell was straining under our combined weight. If I wasn't so thankful to be alive, I would've felt awkward. It was always weird to realize he was that much bigger than me. "Maybe you don't care about me. But I still care about you."

"R-2…" My voice caught in my throat. "You didn't believe that, did you? I was lying. So Xaldin wouldn't hurt you."

"I don't like lying." Frowning, he gently placed me on the ground – not on my feet, just laid me there. I scrambled to my feet as Axel, Roxas, and Xion crowded around us.

"Maybe we all need those air-skateboards," Axel commented. "Roxas caught your kid with it before he caught you."

"Good to know you guys weren't just sitting around eating popcorn," I replied, a bit too harshly. Softening, I added, "Thanks, Roxas."

The younger Nobody smiled. "You guys would've done the same for me."

"You should pay him back by making him one of those." Axel jerked a thumb in the windsail's direction. "The kid's a natural. Must've been a skateboarder in a previous life." Roxas practically glowed with pride at the compliment.

Considering Xaldin was still looming over the hedge maze, though, now wasn't the time to brag on anyone.

"Foolish girl." Xaldin sounded amused at my failure. "Where will you run?"

Clearly, I couldn't. Even if I used a dark corridor, he would eventually find me, and I doubted he would drink the shrinking potion to return to normal until he'd tortured me to his non-heart's content. Wait…

"Axel, quick, the other potion—"

Xaldin's giant spears impaled themselves in the ground around me, forming a cylinder-shaped jail I could barely stick my arm through. "Axel—!"

There wasn't even enough room to form a corridor. Despite not being claustrophobic, with those lances looming over me, I was pretty close to having a panic attack.

"Xen-Xen!" R-2 called, trying to squeeze his way in from above, but the spears suddenly caved inwards at the top, forming a teepee that blocked any rescue from the air.

I had to think – I had to do something, I couldn't just break down and let him torture me—

"Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

That voice… it couldn't be… Demyx? I couldn't see very well out of my cage, but considering his non-booming voice and the fact that I didn't hear any hedges being crushed, he couldn't be anywhere near Xaldin's size.

Xaldin actually laughed. Which would've been hilarious, if it hadn't been terrifying.

"How pointlessly sentimental."

Then I did hear hedges cracking. Through the lance-bars, I watched Demyx grow to Darkside proportions.

Axel whistled in appreciation. "Never thought I'd see Demyx run towards a fight."

And I never thought I'd see him use a jet of water to blast Xaldin in the face, either. The older member flew backwards, shaking the earth when he landed flat on his back, but it wasn't enough to shake the spears around me out of their place.

"Hmph. Still as rash and brainless as ever," Xaldin said evenly as he used a gust of wind to return to his feet. "This will cost you."

"We'll see about that." If I didn't know Demyx better, I'd almost be scared at that tone. "Dance, water, dance!"

"Get him, Demyx!" I cheered as three giant water clones appeared to back him up. Thankfully he was far enough away that the clones didn't appear on top of the rest of us; we would've drowned.

"Yay, Dem-Dem!" R-2 cheered too. Roxas and Xion started chanting his name as he and Xaldin exploded into a full-on Boss Battle – which meant the wind-wielder needed his spears. The prison uprooted itself around me and flew to his aid.

"Whew." I breathed in deep and exhaled. I had to admit, that was some much better rescuing than I'd expected. I'd repay Demyx with his favorite blueberry pancakes every day for a month – if Xaldin didn't kill him, anyway.

"Xenan, you still got the camera?" Axel asked, staring up at the water-versus-wind, sitar-versus-spears battle. "I need proof of this so I don't question my sanity later."

I opened a corridor and reached in, feeling around until I found it. "Trade you for the shrinking potion." He tossed it; I tossed back the camera.

"Wow. I didn't know Demyx could actually fight."

"Roxas, that's rude," Xion chastised him. "Demyx is really sweet."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he could fight."

R-2 hovered by them, watching just like it was a movie on one of those "T-V" things. But it wasn't – this was real, and Demyx could really get hurt.

"R-2, I need your windsail."

"What? Why?" He asked protectively. I was about to explain, but then I heard Demyx cry out in pain. He may be a better fighter than anyone thought, but he was still one-on-one with Xaldin.

"Please!" I yelled, exasperated.

"…Since you said please." R-2 dislodged his prosthetic after tapping the windsail's stern to return the ground. I steadied him before taking his place on it, and it jetted up excitedly when I kicked it back on. It was calibrated to R-2's now-heavier weight; for me it zipped along like it was carrying feathers.

"Being this light can't be healthy," I muttered, speeding towards Xaldin. "Maybe I can fix that now that I can finally eat three meals a day…" Only now that I was fighting Xaldin, I still wouldn't be able to eat with the rest of the Organization, even without Xigbar stealing my food. Ugggh.

Now wasn't the time for food. At least the windsail had enough power to lift me to Xaldin's pocket before shakily petering to a standstill. "Close enough, I guess."

Kicking off of the windsail, I leapt for his coat. My hands clutched the smooth fabric, but he was moving too much, my feet kept slipping—

One of Demyx's water clones twirled Xaldin, and the centrifugal force flung me away. I barely had time to think about what I'd look like splattered against the ground.

Miraculously, for the second time today, that didn't happen. Instead, a giant hand caught me.

"Hey, Xenan." Demyx's weak grin showed off a row of surprisingly-clean teeth. Not that I'd ever checked his dental hygiene up close before. "I'm huge. Pretty cool, huh?"

"I definitely didn't expect it." I laughed breathlessly, still trying not to pass out from the dizzying motion combined with the dangerous height. "Thanks for saving me."

"Heh. I picked a fight with Xaldin. Why did I do that?" He sounded halfway out of it; black smoke seeped from cuts on his arms, chest, and face. Luckily none of them were too deep.

"Because you're a way better friend than I've ever been. And I'll make you blueberry pancakes every day for a month if you don't die."

He laughed, barely. "I won't die then."

"Good. I'll hold you to that."

"Yeah, I'd rather save my death for your cooking," he wasn't too exhausted to tease. Did I say cook? It didn't matter; right now I just needed him to survive.

"You do that."

Xaldin finally destroyed the slippery, spinning water clone by stabbing with all six of his lances.

"Uh-oh." Demyx's eyes widened. "Hold on."

"Wha-?"

He shoved me in his pocket, strumming his sitar with his now-free hand. A wall of water materialized and slowed the speeding lances, diverting them around him on either side.

"Demyx!" I called from inside his pocket, trying not to think about the month-old candy wrappers sticking to my legs and unsleeved arms. "You can't stall him forever! I have a plan!"

"Hold on, still trying to not die!" His sitar melody was deafening, but it blasted pillars of water at Xaldin, whose rage was building. Would it be worth it to try to climb out of his pocket? Or would I just get flung off again?

"Enough!" Xaldin dodged the pillars deftly, summoning his spears for another strike. I braced myself, but Demyx blocked all but one spear with his sitar. All but one, one about to plunge through his stomach—

With all my might, all my magic, I locked on to the metal in the spear. I didn't know I could use my magic to override his control on his weapon. I just did – bending it in half, so its own momentum plunged it into the ground.

Xaldin stared; shock played across his face. As much as I wanted to savor his slackjawed expression, it was time to finish this.

"Demyx," I called again. "Throw me!"

"What?"

"Throw me at Xaldin!"

"Er… my aim's not that good—"

"He's a freaking giant! How could you not hit him?!"

"Okay, okay! I got an idea. Don't be mad."

Before I could ask what I'd be mad about, he threw me upwards into the air and blasted me forward with a jet of water. I held in my scream, but only because the water would've flooded my lungs otherwise.

I smacked straight into Xaldin's forehead; my hands clutched the hair of his eyebrows. I'd only have a few seconds before he'd swat me off like a mosquito. I dug in my pocket, panicking for a moment before I found the bottle, and shimmied awkwardly past Xaldin's nose. He went cross-eyed to focus on me.

"You—" His mouth opened. That was all I needed. Barely balancing in the crease of his nostril, I unstoppered the bottle, and I chunked the whole thing down his throat.

Coughing and gagging sounds assaulted me. His neck twitched, flinging me sideways, but I latched onto his right sideburn.

Huh. Never thought face-fuzz would be good for something.

Then, finally, Xaldin began to shrink. Smaller, smaller, until he was a normal sized man, with a girl still pinching his sideburn. As I quickly let go, the others surrounded him.

"Aaand that's a wrap," Axel told Xion, who shut off the camera and tossed it through a dark corridor. Xaldin scowled.

"If you think you've won, you're as naïve as the rest of them. The Superior will hear about this."

"Oh, yeah?" Axel raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead, tell him how another senior member mutinously attacked three other members without cause. I dare you."

"I did have cause, Axel."

"What, that she shaved off some of your facial hair back when she was a newb?" He jerked a thumb in my direction. "I'm all for caring about your hair, but torture over it? Boss Battles? I think the bossman might find that a little overkill, don't you?"

Xaldin's scowl deepened, but he remained silent.

Axel smirked. "That's what I thought."

"Hmph. Xigbar and Luxord were right to try to eradicate you. You are a disgrace to our Organization." With that, he disappeared through a dark corridor.

"Love you too, Xal." Axel rolled his eyes, then turned to the rest of us. "Well, I'd say that was a success. Whaddaya think?"

Now that the immediate danger had passed, I turned on him. "I think that was the stupidest idea ever! He could've killed us!"

"But," Axel grinned, "he didn't. And when Xigbar and Luxord see this footage, they'll be the ones scared of us."

Demyx laughed. "Xiggy, scared of me? You're crazy."

"Think about it! You and Xenan took down Xaldin. Two on one. There's—" he took a quick headcount, "—six of us. Six on two, if we have to fight Xigbar and Luxord. Pretty good odds, if you ask me."

"Wait, wait, wait," I backed up, "Why in the worlds would we do that?"

"In case you were right, and this whole 'Prank War' really is a trap."

Well, good to know my reservation was taken seriously. Crashing from the adrenaline rush, I was too exhausted to argue any more.

"Here you go, Xen-Xen." R-2 hobbled up, holding my coat in one hand and his windsail under his other arm.

"Thanks." I pulled it on over my undershirt, not wanting to mess with the zippers. "You need help getting back on that?"

"Um…" He held the windsail out, revealing the dangling mast and various puncture holes. I hadn't exactly paid attention to what happened to it after I used it as a springboard. "Can you fix it?"

My magic was still drained just from bending Xaldin's huge spear. "When we get home. I need to eat, like, ten fish right now." Mm. Fish. Which I definitely wouldn't be getting at the castle, not with Xaldin cooking.

"Hey, up here." Giant-Demyx waved. "Can you guys, uh, get me that other potion…?"

Xion, the quickest of us to volunteer for errands, immediately retrieved it from the Bizarre Room. The weirder part was when he had to pick her up so she could pour it in his mouth.

"Whew." Demyx stumbled for a moment when he finally returned to his usual size, Xion landing on her feet beside him. "Always makes me dizzy…"

I gave him a hard pat on the back. "Again, I owe you one."

"Yup. Blueberry pancakes, tomorrow morning. Don't forget the whipped cream."

I laughed. "You sure you actually want me to try cooking again?"

"Hey, you said you owe me one. You can repay me by learning to cook the best breakfast ever."

Axel frowned. "It'd be great to not be the only one of us that can cook and all, but Xenan? Really?"

"I can try!" I defended myself. "I've learned my lesson. No magic, and no throwing junk in without a recipe."

He still looked skeptical of the whole idea, but that was fine. He didn't have to eat my pancakes, which were going to be awesome. "Well, you can try and cook tomorrow, but for now I say we get us a dinner that won't kill all our brain cells. I know a place with some great fish."

We went to the beachside of Atlantica for dinner, but about an hour later, I could've sworn I heard someone screaming a world away.

"My beautiful roses! Someone is losing their HEAD!"

A/N: Wow. This is the longest chapter I've written for this story in forever. It feels great to finally be making progress. I've started a draft-a-chapter, type-a-chapter every week goal (for all my fanfiction, not just this story), so hopefully that will keep me on track. I started writing this the summer before I started high school, and now I'm about to graduate. How weird is that? I feel old. xP

I'm not sure how IC Xaldin was; I've only actually written dialogue for him, like, twice. Maybe.

Other notes on this chapter…? Oh, the funny thing is, when Demyx and Xaldin are giant, I think they would technically be normal-sized, since everyone had to shrink to go into that area of Wonderland. Also, Saïx is not going to be happy to find out how much damage they did to Wonderland. *sweatdrop*