I'm standing beside Ana and gently squeezing her hand as we stand beside Carla's graveside. We come here often especially on certain anniversaries and today is a particularly difficult one. It's been five years to the day since her death and we both wanted to be here to pay our respects.

The children are spending the day with their grandparents, happily unaware of the sadness of the day. Maybe when they're older we will explain more about today's significance and explain why they're mother is always so sad on this day.

Ana kneels down and lays the white roses I brought for her today against the gravestone. "I miss you so much Mom," she laments as her hand runs across the dark granite.

"I wanted you to know about what's happened since we were here last so I wrote you a letter Mom."

Ana pulls a piece of paper from her pocket and I stoop down beside her as she starts to read her note.

"Mom, Its been five years today since you were taken from us and words cannot describe the sadness I feel at not having you in my life anymore.

Whenever something happens in my life I find myself reaching out to call you to tell you all about it and then the terrible realisation hits and I remember your not here.

Your grandsons rookie baseball league won the tournament this year and we were so excited when Teddy helped his team secure the win. For weeks its was all he could talk about and I could hardly believe that a child of mine could have so much athletic ability.

Olivia turns five tomorrow although technically I know her birthday was today. I changed the date the moment I lost you, I just couldn't stand celebrating her birthday on the day you died. I guess one day doesn't make much difference and now Olivia can enjoy her big day with a happy Mommy instead of a sad one.

Your youngest grandbaby Henry keeps us all busy as he has gotten quite mischievous since he turned two. He's always into everything and certainly keeps Christian and I on our toes.

Christian and I have got a lot stronger since we last visited and everyday he helps me and I hope I help him too. I'm still having therapy to help me come to terms with everything that's happened but thankfully the children have overcome their problems and don't need any more family therapy.

Teddy struggled the most and being the eldest he remembered his life before me. Olivia soon forgot her captive early years and to her she has always lived within our family. It's a blessing that she forgot those years but it's taken longer for Teddy to accept that I'm back and that I'm never leaving him again.

I think we're a much stronger family now because of it or perhaps in spite of it and I'm so thankful that my children are now so happy and content. I love you Mom and I know it's because of you and your love that I became a good Mommy myself, at lease I hope I'm a good Mom just like you. Love Ana."

I pull a handkerchief from my pocket and wipe away Ana's tears as she folds up the letter. "Your the best mother Ana and I should know," I tell her softly.

"You think," she sobs out.

"I know," I reply as I stand and pull her to her feet.

We stand in silence for a moment and we both stare at the headstone and then I gently lead her away.

"Come on, I'm taking you out for dinner," I remark leading her towards the parked car.

"No, I can't Christian. I'm sorry I just think I would rather go home."

"Ana, you need to eat and I want to look after you today."

"You look after me everyday Christian but I guess if it means that much to you I can let you take me out."

I smile as I open her car door then watch as she sits and pulls on her seatbelt. We drive in silence to a nearby restaurant and enjoy the time we have together as we eat our meal.

I take us home after and once we get there Ana excuses herself my saying that she's tired. Gail is home and busy planning our evening meal so I chat with her for a while as I wait for the children to return.

It's almost six when they make an appearance and I can't help but smile as the peace is quickly shattered. My Mom and Dad are bringing up the rear as Teddy and Henry race into the kitchen. Olivia is still busy chatting happily to my Mom and I can tell by their face that my folks are both shattered.

"Kept you busy I see," I remarks casually.

"You have no idea, well no I expect you have a pretty good idea," my Dad assesses.

"Do you want to stay for dinner," I ask as my Mom sets the children's things on the sofa.

"We'd love too but your fathers got us committed to some charity function this evening."

"Oh dear, well I hope your not too tired to enjoy it."

"Rain cheque," my father offers as he calls out to the kids that they're leaving. Ted and Livie say their goodbyes as I look around for Henry. I find him stretched out on the sofa fast asleep and I wonder what my parents secret is to tire my energetic son so completely.

"Okay out with it, did you drug my son," I joke as everyone notices Henry.

"No, but he was so excited today that he didn't take a nap, I guess your in for a peaceful night son," my Mom explains.

"Where's Mommy," asks Ted suddenly changing the subject. "Mommy's a little tired too so she's upstairs taking a nap."

"Did Mommy miss her nap today too," Olivia asks cheekily.

I bend down and tickle my little girl who is getting as mischievous as her baby brother by the day.

"You give her our best and tell her the children behaved beautifully all day."

"I will Mom even if the children part is a bare faced lie."

"It's not they were angels weren't they Cary."

"I'm not sure, do angels flush your keys down the toilet," my Dad asks with feigned seriousness.

"Well you shouldn't have let them laying around," my Mom corrects.

"Let me guess, the little one sleeping on the sofa," I ask.

"The very one and caught red handed," my Dad explains.

"I'm sorry Dad did you manage to get them back."

"He did, they got stuck in the U-bend so everything was alright in the end."

"I'm glad and I'm sorry Dad, we watch him like a hawk but he always seems one step ahead."

"A chip off the block and no mistake," my father reminds me and laughs when my face starts to fall.

"Don't worry he'll settle down eventually," my Mom remarks as she kisses me goodbye.

"See you on Sunday and thank you for looking after our little monsters."

"Angels Christian,"

"No I think monsters pretty much covers it, bye everyone," my Dad shouts back as they walk out the door.

The kids shout back their goodbyes then together we wave at the window. My Moms waving furiously then I notice her waving towards the upper windows. Ana must have woken up and is waving to my parents from upstairs. I watch them wave a few more times then slowly drive away in their silvery car.

I love how close our family is now and I'm so happy the children have such a large extended family who love them so much.