Chapter Thirty six

[Tori]

A whole week has passed since Jade came to stay at my place. I look at her, sitting beside me by the round table at Karaoke Dokie. The Friday atmosphere is so thick it is almost touchable. I can feel how everyone around me is feeling the relief of it finally being the end of the week. Jade and I have tried to act as normal as possible around my parents, which means no PDA (Public display of affection if anyone didn't know, but I mean who doesn't?)... My mum hadn't been my biggest concern, my dad had. My mum had been so loving all the time, so much that it had almost gotten embarrassing which resulted in me trying to avoid her too but for a whole other reason than avoiding my dad. The fact is that after this week it seems as though my mum and Jade have gotten pretty tight, I can't help but seeing my mum as the mum Jade never had. And surprisingly enough my dad has seemed to try to put in an effort, acting calm around us both, not making to much fuss about it.

Jade's eyes are looking at her mobile-screen, her elbows are resting on the table. A grim expression, with something looking like worry hiding behind it, stares down at the pear-shaped screen. A quick look before she rapidly puts it back into her pocket. That face is somewhat familiar to me now. Every time she has looked at her phone lately that expression spreads across her face, a hint of anxiety, fright and anger. And that sneaky way of putting away her phone and then looking around herself as if someone was watching her is also an action I have seen a lot of this week. I guess that it has to do with her mum, a text or missed phone-calls. I wonder how long she can go without answering her...

At the table across the room I can see Beck. He is the only one who has deliberately avoided us lately. And tonight he has chosen a table as far away from the rest of us as possible. A couple of northridge-girls curl around his neck, like accessories. Cat, Andre, Robbie all sit by the same table as Jade and myself. They are very loud and overpowers the sound of the badly sung songs on stage. But I haven't really heard what they argue about, but it seems to have something to do with the fact that the buffalo-wings are gone and Robbie has a suspicious amount of sauce around his mouth... and even rex seems to have gotten lipstick. How the heck is that doll even eating?

Jade seems tense. I take her clenched hand underneath the table and it loosens up with her face. She squeezes my hand and lifts a corner of her mouth in a crooked halfhearted smile. I bend over to kiss her on her lips, but regret it as soon as our lips touch. I throw a glans over at Beck to make sure he is busy with his girls. I know I shouldn't bother but I still don't want to rub it in his face, that I got Jade in the end, a triumph in itself.

"What's going on?... Is it your mum?" I whisper.

Jade just makes a quick nod and then she whispers back "Yeah, I'm not gonna let her ruin this evening." And then I can feel how she leans in and places a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Do you have any money Tori?" Cat's voice interferes with my thoughts that were exclusively focusing on Jade. I look over at her pleading face.

"No, why?" I don't have any money, I have already used up my allowance on the frequent picnics with Jade; money I don't regret spending. Spending my money on Jade is like spending them on myself, only better. When she is happy I'm happier than I could ever be if I bought myself a new album. But right now Jade seems a bit distressed even if she is hiding it very well.

"I need more money, I only have 5 cents and I want more buffalo-wings because Robbie-" She casts and angry glance at the boy beside her "-ate all the ones we were supposed to SHARE!"

"I've got money." Jade says and reaches down her pocket and throws two bucks on the table. She smirks at cat "Now say thank you."

"Thanks Jade!" Cat squeaks. "You have gotten so much nicer since you and Tori began dating." She states and before neither Jade nor me have the slightest chance to respond she turns her back towards us and waves a waiter over.

Jade smiles at me. "I love you"

"Love you too." I respond with a question wanting to pop out concerning her mother.

"Aww." André looks at both of us with his head resting on his palms, looking dreamy.

I can't make out if he is mocking us... "I know, we are the perfect couple." Jade replies with the perfect amount of sassiness.

I grab her hand and squeezes it before I drag her along with me. "Where are we going?" Jade asks.

"Come with me." I reply.

"I am."

We walk past Beck and I can almost feel his gaze on us, but I don't look at him. I don't want to know what kind of expression that shows on his face, either stares angrily at us or he's ignoring us. I drag Jade with me to the outside where I sit her down on the sidewalk. We sit there in silence for a while, all I can hear is the traffic. After a while I take a deep breath and say "You need to talk with your mum.".

"I don't want to..." Jade's voice sounds fragile.

I never asked her before and I'm not sure if she wants to tell me. We have deliberately avoided the subject mum because I didn't want to make it worse and she didn't seem to want to talk about it. I grab her hand "How long has this been going on?"

Jade's eyes turn blank and she stares out into nowhere. "She has never harmed me physically before..." Ice cold is her voice and stern is her expression. "...But the drinking... It has been going on since my my parents divorced."

Thousands of thoughts run through my head. I can't even imagine how someone can grow up under those kind of conditions and still turn out as incredible as Jade. I admire how strong she is. Growing up myself in a pretty much idyllic, but not perfect all the time, family it's hard for me to imagine what she actually is going through...

Jade laughs suddenly out into open air. I look at her. "I have never told anyone this before. You know what, I thought I was strong enough to handle it... But it's a fucking relief, did you know that, telling someone... it feels so weird. In a good way though." She laughs a soft laughter. "Thank you."

Relief can have the most unexpected outlets. "For what?"

"Fo listening."

I can't wrap my head around how that possible can be something to thank for. "I'm always here for you."

"I know. I've already told you that that's one reason why I love you."

We head back inside because it was getting kind of cold sitting on the sidewalk and I bet the rest are beginning to wonder where we went. Hand in hand we enter Karaoke Dokie and are met by Cat who jumps up and down in front of our faces. The buffalo-wings seemed to have gotten into the right stomach this time. "Can't you sing something Tori?"

"Why me?"

"There is that guy over there-" She points towards a well sculpted guy in our age, surrounded by a bunch of other guys, laughing. "-he came up to us after you two left and began talking shit about you being... you know... lesbians. I think he goes to the same school as us..."

A surprised but unaffected "Oh" comes from Jade and I just look at the guy, with his greased hair and designer clothes, wanting to punch his teeth out.

But still I wonder... "Cat, what does that have to do with me singing?"

"What exactly did he say?" Jade asks before Cat has the chance to answer my question.

André joins us and studies our faces. "So you know about that now." It wasn't a question.

Cat whispers to André a bit too loud for me not to hear. "They want to know what he said..."

André looks at us and laughs slightly nervous. "Oh it was nothing-" He looks at Jade, goes silent and then with a terrified face he continues. "he said it was unnatural... and gross... and he bet that he could turn Tori straight in like a week or something..."

At his last sentence I could feel Jade's hand clenching mine before I can feel her moving towards him. "Oh let me just-"

"No!" I interrupt and drag her back to me. Let's just ignore him, he isn't worth our time. "Cat why should I sing again?"

Cat hesitates. André just cracks up in a smile and says "Cat here said that you would sing fuck you if you found out and that if he didn't get the message Jade would turn his face inside out or something. Oh and she threw her buffalo-wings at the guy." He laughs and Cat blushes.

Jade laughs and I myself am a bit surprised about the fact that had Cat just threatened a guy who would obviously beat her in a fist fight and give her nightmares.

"You know what, let's just ignore him, like you said. I'm gonna sing something for you instead." Jade says and leaves me to go up on stage, I notice how she sends lethal glances towards the small-minded boy.

Remember those walls I built?

Well, baby they're tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound

I found a way to let you in

But, I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now

I tear up where I sit by the table. She looks over at me and smiles a smile that fills my body with warmth.

It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

It's the risk that I'm taking

I ain't never gonna shut you out!

Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby, I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face

Baby, I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away

Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget to pull me back to the ground again

When she finishes I can't take my eyes off her. With tears blurring my vision I go up on stage and caress her face and then I place a big kiss right on her lips which results in an outbreak of applause, and cheers from our friends. I look into her beautiful eyes that smile black at me. "I love you" I whisper. And as we leave the stage I can see in my peripheral vision how Jade gives a long middle finger to the boy who now looks both angry and bitterly defeated.

A/N: Now we at least now what happened with the buffalo-wings and I really like that both Jade and Tori seem comfortable in their relationship, except for the part with Jade's mum.

Okay I know I have already uploaded this chapter, I just made a few adjustments. Long time no see, again, I'm sorry. I'm in London for the week and I really love it here, although a bit too crowded at times. And this time I promise to update as soon as possible I have already started on the next chapter.

Spare me a few words will you?