When the Cradle Falls

Chapter Thirty-Four: Dust in the Wind

The headlights of a car shut off as dust settled around the vehicle. It was a quiet night. There was a slight, cool breeze that rustled the leaves on nearby trees. The only other sounds were a car door slamming, and slow footsteps moving across the earth.

With a relieved sigh, Alice ran a hand through her messy hair and stopped a few feet away from the front steps of Bobby's. She'd much rather stand in front of this house than that of her cousin's. Although she wasn't at her own house, she was at a place that had quickly become a home away from home.

Smiling, she noted that Dean had waited up for her. He sat on the porch steps, with his head heavily cradled in one hand. Soft snores came from his figure, with rose and fell with each heavy breath.

From the car, when she had first noticed him, her breath had caught in her throat. It felt like it had been so long since she'd seen him and the kids, even though it had only been a little over a week. That need to see those she loved punctuated the air, especially now that she was right in front of them.

Kneeling down in front of him, Alice slowly kissed where his hand met his cheek. She held her hand on the other side of his face, continuing to kiss along the same trail, down his hand, to his wrist.

Stirring, Dean let out a small breath. His eyes fluttered open at the light contact on his arm. Blinking against the night, he noticed a change in the gradation in the dark, one that hovered in the center of his vision.

His hand reached forward and made contact with a tangle of soft hair. Naturally following his instincts, Dean wound his hand through the hair, gently guiding the head up from where it was near his arm, towards his own face.

In the dark, Dean and Alice's lips met one another. Alice found herself kneeling on one of the steps, nestled in between Dean's legs, while both of his hands were firmly placed on either side of her head, anchoring her to him.

They felt like teenagers again; itching to see each other after being separated for a few hours at school.

"I missed you," Alice said between kisses. One of her hands was held tightly around Dean's bicep, the other snaked around the back of his neck, raking her nails through his hair.

"Like you have no idea," Dean growled, pulling her closer to him once again.

The two passionately made out for several more minutes, before Alice reluctantly pulled away. "Dean," she began breathlessly. Everything in her vision seemed glazed over. "We should-we should talk."

"Sure. What do you wanna talk about?" Dean asked, barely listening, as he continued to kiss her.

"About...about…" Alice lost her train of thought as she began to respond to his touch more vigorously.

"See? We can talk later. Right now? I need you to come with me," he requested urgently. Dean abruptly stood, pulling Alice with him, their lips locked together.

Alice glanced at the house. "We'd be too loud," she said, catching onto what he meant.

He scoffed. "I think you mean you'd be too loud."

Pulling away, Alice playfully smacked him in the chest. "You did not just-"

"Come on." Dean grabbed her by the hand and pulled her around the perimeter of the house, to the salvage yard. "I'm sure we can find an unoccupied backseat in a graveyard full of cars."

"Wow...what every girl wants: making love in the backseat of some abandoned car."

"Hey, if I remember correctly, you once brought me to a junkyard. Tell me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Cara conceived there?"

"Wow such a romantic." Alice rolled her eyes. "And I'm not sure. We did it so often it's hard to tell."

Dean felt himself smiling proudly. "Well, tonight you're in for a treat. We're stepping it up from an old bathtub. Tonight, we're gonna be doing it in the back of a Camaro."

"And that's where Noah was conceived-I mean the back seat of a car, not a Camaro...can you just kiss me so I'll stop talking?" Alice requested, as Dean wrenched open the door of the blue sports car.

"Gladly," he replied, before descending upon her mouth once again. He pulled the door of the car shut behind them, causing particles of dust to kick up around the car.

"Holy…" Dean gasped, as he slowly sat up, from where he as leaned over Alice.

"Yeah," Alice agreed. She wiped some sweaty hair away from her forehead.

Breathing heavily, both of them pulled apart and slowly sat up. They glanced at each other with wide grins, breaking out into childlike giggles, offsetting the serious conversation that both felt like they needed to have with the other.

"I really needed that," Dean lamented, as he reached for his jeans to pull them on.

Alice followed suit and shimmied her bra back on, agreeing wholeheartedly with him. The past few days had been taxing on her emotions, and travelling so far in such a short amount of time had really taken a toll on her. She didn't know how Dean could spend all of his time on the road. It was exhausting.

A few moments later, when they were clothed-for the most part-Alice found herself leaning against Dean's chest. His arm was laid across the back seat of the car. In silence, they listened to their slowing breaths and enjoyed the stillness of the environment around them.

"I think we need to talk about some things," Alice finally said. Sitting up, she turned and looked at Dean, who reluctantly straightened.

"Yeah...I think you're right," he admitted.

"Okay. Because, there's some things I need to tell you," Alice said. She suddenly found great interest in her nail beds.

"Alright, go ahead," Dean urged, a bit anxious. He could tell from the way she dragged the words out that she wasn't particularly looking forward to telling him what she needed to.

"I think...I think we may need to change the way this family operates, Dean."

He frowned, not really understanding what she meant, but still feeling a pit in his stomach growing. "What do you mean?"

She sighed. "We just pretend like everything is fine. We don't talk about things that need to be talked about. Acting like nothing needs to be changed doesn't mean things aren't broken."

"Alice, I gotta say, I really have no idea what you're talking about."

This was always a problem she had. Alice always found herself talking vaguely in circles about what she really wanted to say. It was something she'd done in her entire life. Never did she want to upset the balance of something by voicing how she really felt. But the drive back from Kentucky had showed her their family was chugging along like a disjointed train on a crooked track.

"I haven't spoken to my parents since I moved in with Jan. And her own kids hadn't spoken to her since around that time, maybe even before that. And I know you and your father weren't exactly close-"

"Watch it," Dean warned.

"That's not what I meant, Dean," Alice snapped back. That was one of the things Dean hardly ever talked about: John Winchester. The man had made a deal to save Dean, and Alice had only a small inkling of what that had done to him.

"I just mean that I don't want to repeat the mistakes of our parents, Dean."

The muscles in his face were tight, and he forgotten the elation from being so close to her. "I don't want to talk about this."

A bit irritated, Alice clenched her teeth together. "I'm not asking you to talk about your father, Dean. I'm asking you to talk about us and our kids. What I'm saying is that it seems to be trend in our family for children to drift away from their parents.

"I don't want that to happen with us and Cara and Noah. I don't want them to resent us." To back up her reasoning, Alice began the painstaking task of explaining Merrill to Dean, and how the girl had put herself into danger for what had happened in her life.

When she was done with the story, Dean was still for a moment. But then abruptly slammed open the car door closest to him. He swung out of the car, and stepped away several feet, staring out into the depth of the yard.

Alice sat in shock. What had she said that made him so upset? Slowly, she exited the car and stood several feet behind Dean. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing," Dean muttered petulantly.

"Hey." Alice grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. "What?"

"I told you I didn't want to talk about this, Alice."

She grinded her teeth together. "Well too damn bad. It's something that we need to discuss."

"We really need to talk about what a horrible father I am?"

"I-what?"

Dean turned, his hands moving animatedly as he spoke. "You're talking about how you don't want us to run our kids out of our lives! And then you tell me about how Merrill almost got killed because her estranged father called her on the phone!"

Her mouth hung open a little bit as Alice realized the wound she had unknowingly hit. He was referring back to when she didn't know he was a hunter and probably just thought he was a flaky father.

"Dean...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it in that way. I didn't even realize that. That thought didn't even cross my mind." She tried to reach for his arm but he yanked it away. "Dean, I don't even think about that anymore," she tried again.

"Well I do. And I'm sure as hell sure the kids do too."

"They don't."

"You sure about that?" Dean challenged.

At a loss for words, Alice held her hands up helplessly. "Look, we've both done things that-"

"What have you done?" Dean asked with a scoff. She really didn't give herself enough credit as a mother.

"Well I've-"

"Stop acting like you've scarred our kids for life, alright? If anyone's gonna drive 'em away it'll be me."

"I'm not gonna let that happen. That's why we need to-"

"Need to what, Al? What are we gonna do that can magically-"

"I want us to hunt!" Alice yelled.

Immediately afterwards, she covered her mouth with both hands, stifling a gasp. She began shuffling until her back hit the window of a nearby car.

There it was. Even if she hadn't meant it exactly like that, there was no taking back the words. The long car ride through a flat expanse had forced Alice to come face to face with what she was truly thinking. After her first hunt with Dean, she couldn't seem to understand why he did what he did. Of course, it was to save people, but Alice helped people in her own way as a nurse. But then, their children were nearly ripped away from them, and Alice realized there was another reason people hunted. It was because they saw something that they couldn't back away from, no matter how hard they tried.

And maybe she didn't mean to pack up their entire lives and go spend it on the road, but maybe hunting a bit would be a way for Alice to defend herself and her children when Dean wasn't there. She knew in reality, he was not always going to be there for her, and she knew she wasn't always gonna be there for her children either.

It went against every fiber of her being to admit that doing the opposite of what she had done her entire life may be the best way to save her children. She thought keeping them away from the edge of the water was the best way to protect them. But time showed she was a fool for thinking she could prevent her own children from growing up.

So, perhaps they had to be thrown in headfirst, in the deepest depths of the water.

Dean's reaction surprised Alice. She thought he was going to shut down like every other time she tried to talk to him about a sensitive subject. Instead, he became more attentive, and stared at her, questioning. "Wait…what did you say?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Just…after seeing Merrill and Piper, and how my cousins were raised—and thinking about our situation—I wonder if…just maybe…the kids and I should learn a little more about your world?" Even though Dean was still interested in what she was saying, Alice winced a bit, fearing she might have taken it too far, about to set him off. She remembered how opposed he was to even taking her on a hunt, and now she was essentially suggesting the same for their children.

"You serious?" Dean asked.

Alice shrugged, leaning her head back against the car. She stared up at the net of glittering specks in the sky. It was the kind of sky she hadn't been able to see in Chicago. It reminded her of the sky that hung over Broken Bow. "I know I said I never wanted Cara and Noah to know about any of this…but things are really different now. And I don't think what we've been doing is working. I mean, they keep asking about it and I don't know what to tell them or how long I can play dumb for." Both parents knew the kids were doing everything within their power to try and learn all they could.

It didn't even to make much of a difference by refusing them—Cara and Noah were too resourceful to even need their help.

"Look, whether or not we agree to help them, they're gonna find ways to go behind our backs. I know they already have. If they're gonna do this, then I at least wanna make sure what they're doing isn't gonna get them killed."

Alice sighed, running a finger through her messed up, just-had-sex-hair. "This seems to be the only thing left to do, Dean."

She waited, holding her breath, waiting for him to tell her she was crazy, just plain wrong. She was prepared for it. He would tell her she didn't know what she was talking about, that she didn't know what it was like to be down in the trenches like him. That she'd only been on one hunt, and it had been an easy salt and burn. That she didn't—

"Okay."

"Excuse me?" Alice asked.

"Okay. I agree with you."

Her mouth fell open. "That's it?"

Dean shrugged. "Guess so."

Alice sputtered, trying to make sense of how easy this had been. She'd been through a thousand scenarios in her head about how this would play out, but having Dean flat out tell her she was right was not one of them.

"Wow," she laughed. "I thought I was gonna had to fight you tooth and nail for this."

Dean smirked slightly. "You make a good argument, Mercer. Besides, I thought I was gonna have to convince you."

"I'm just shocked, is all, that you're okay with this."

He sighed. Now it was his turn to explain the little escapades he'd taken their daughter on. "I don't think I'm okay with it, but this is the only way this thing'll play out."

"Right."

"So, since you said you were okay with this, I guess I should tell you some things that have been going on around here."

Her eyebrows raised in response. "What things?"

"Well…apparently since you've been gone, Bobby was already giving the kids lessons about the lore."

She squinted her eyes at him. "Why does it sound like you had no idea about this?"

Dean tugged the collar of his shirt. "Well…see the thing is, I didn't."

"How? You were all under the same roof, right?"

"I was a little preoccupied with Baby."

Alice scoffed with an eye roll. That damn car. She could imagine him working on that thing from dusk until dawn. "Dean when I left them with you, I didn't mean to hand them off to Bobby while you—"

"Don't worry, I learned my lesson," Dean quickly repaired the conversation. He knew that Alice thought his obsession with his car was a bit unhealthy—that was something they would never see eye to eye on.

"Oh really?" Alice crossed her arms.

"Yeah. See, Sam got a lead from one our dad's old phones. An old contact of his told him she could help with the demon. We hunted her down, and then ended up going on a hunt from a casefile she had."

"Okay?" Alice didn't really see what that had to do with anything.

"And the kids I think were feeling pretty cagey so I kind of did something that I didn't think I'd ever do."

"What?"

"I uh…brought Cara with us. And kind of promised Noah I'd take him on a hunt. Just the two of us."

"What was the hunt?" Alice asked.

"Umm…it was a killer clown."

"A clown?" Her tone was incredulous, like she didn't believe it anymore that any of them initially had.

"Apparently."

"And…how'd that go?" Her lips were pressed together in a tight line. It was obvious to Dean she trying to keep from flying off the handle. After all, this was what both of them wanted, wasn't it?

"We killed it."

"She's not hurt…is she?"

"Nah. She's fine," Dean said, avoiding some of the details, like he shot a window a few inches from her head, and how she almost got her head cut off. Just minor details, things she didn't need to worry about.

Alice nodded carefully. She swallowed her anger thickly, and took a few seconds to think of a response. "Well…if it went okay then…maybe we should keep…you know." How eloquent she sounded.

"Uh right."

The two stood in awkward silence for a few moments before Alice spoke again.

"But, if we are gonna pull this off, we need to be on the same page. So, that means being honest with each other with how we feel and what we think. And most importantly, decisions with the kids. No more secrets. "

Immediately, Dean felt his stomach turn over. He had come clean about everything…almost everything.

There was one piece of information he had kept from her. One thing that he himself tried to deny.

It was the visions Noah was having, ones that painfully mirrored Sammy's. Dean had tried so hard for so long to pretend like Sam didn't have anything wrong with him. And now, his son was following in the same footsteps of his brother. Alice didn't know about Sam's visions, and not even about Noah's either.

And even worse, it seemed like everyone but Alice knew. Sam had an inkling about what was going on by the dream Noah unknowingly had about demons. Cara probably knew the most because that was who Noah confided in. And then there was Dean, who found out through Noah's impossible knowledge of the car accident.

Now, Dean wasn't sure if there was even a connection between Noah and Sam, but he had a sick feeling that there was.

Dean hadn't even needed to tell the kids to not tell their mother. It seemed that intrinsically, they already knew her reaction would be something even worse than his had been. Both kids were good at keeping secrets, and both clammed up about the subject around their mother.

Putting on a fake smile, while pushing down the hypocrisy, Dean nodded quickly. "No more secrets. No more lies," he said, lying through his teeth. He didn't think about how easy it was for Alice to find out about it, but there was some kind of wall in his mouth that stopped his tongue from shaping the words he knew she should know.

Her shoulders dropped noticeably as the words came out. With a relaxed sigh, she stepped away from the car and placed her hands on her shoulders. "We're doing the right thing." The intonation rose at the end as if it was both a question and a statement. She was asking him and telling herself at the same time, it seemed.

"We're doing the right thing," Dean echoed, with a slightly more confidence. He stared over her head and mindlessly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him, knowing the more time that passed, the worse the lies he kept would be.

But hopefully—by some miracle—some secrets would forever remain buried.

In the dim light, a motley crew quietly walked in a procession down to the lapping waves of the beach. There weren't very many people around, other than a stray jogger or dog walker. At this time, it was the quietest the city of Chicago ever got, even though the faint sound of traffic and honking could still be heard several blocks away.

Leading the group, Alice clutched a silver urn between both hands. When she reached the edge of the water, she set it down on the sand and turned towards the group. Seth and Piper were closest to her, both looking particularly nervous. Merrill stood directly behind her mother, and stared down at the ground quietly. Behind them was Cara, Sam, and Bobby—who surprised nearly everyone when he said he wanted to be there. Bringing up the rear was Noah and Dean.

It was a strange collection of people who had been brought together by a smartass, sometimes pain-in-the-ass woman—depending on which of them you asked.

"This is the stillest I've seen the lake in a long time," Seth said to no one in particular, breaking the silence.

"It looks like the ocean," Merrill said, in wonder. She had no memory of Lake Michigan—Piper had made a point of keeping a wide berth from the body of water when they were hunting, always trying to find cases far enough away, but still mostly in the Midwest.

Alice cleared her throat and everyone else formed a sort of semi-circle around her and the urn. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper. "You know," Alice began, looking up from the paper. "I kept trying to sit down and write this earth shattering eulogy, and this is all that I was able to get from it." She turned the paper around. The page was full of writing, but all the words had been struck out with an angry, black marker.

"Everything I tried to write felt really manufactured and disingenuous. And I think that's because Jan wouldn't have wanted me or any of us to stand up here and stiffly read from a bible or from a piece of paper." With that, Alice ripped the piece of paper up into little pieces and shoved them back into her pocket.

"I gotta be honest, there's not much I can say about her at this point. However well we knew her or whatever we thought of her, I think we can all agree the woman spoke for herself. She didn't need any of us to be a mouthpiece for her, even in death."

Alice slowly bent down and picked up the urn. "I know I've thanked you a million times, but I wish I could thank you a million more. You gave me a home. You gave my children a home. You showed me what real, unconditional love looked like and showed me how to be a strong woman and a good mother." Piper and Seth both swallowed loudly, and looked down at the ground.

Unaware of how everyone else was reacting, Alice brushed some tears out of her eyes. "I—I…you saved my life, Aunt Jan. Thank you." She whispered the last part with a tearful sniffle. Shakily, Alice unscrewed the lid of the urn and placed it to the side.

Hesitating for a moment, Alice finally reached her hand into the urn. Her hand slipped into the silky particulates held within. Feeling more tears begin to form, Alice's hand closed around a pile of the ashes. As she pulled them out, some fell back into the urn.

Turning towards the lake, Alice took the handful and gently tossed it into the air. The cloud of dust seemed to be suspended in a puff for a moment, before gently careening to the water.

Dean snaked through the crowd when he could see Alice beginning to break down once again. Carefully, he handed the urn off to Seth, who stood nearby. Wrapping and arm around her, Dean guided Alice off to the side, as she collapsed into him, shaking quietly.

With the urn now in Seth's hands, he felt his grip on it tighten. His vision began to tunnel and shake as all he saw were the gray ashes inside. That was his mom. He didn't think that the next time he saw her would be like this. He always thought she was going to be in Chicago where he could determinedly ignore her from a distance, while still assured she was there to ignore.

But now, she was gone and Seth had lost his chance to ever speak to her again.

"God, Mom," he muttered, staring at the urn. "I should've just picked up the phone. Why didn't I just pick up the phone?!" He asked himself, growing angry. He thought there was always gonna be enough time, but there wasn't. It was gone. His chance was gone.

Carefully, Seth reached into the urn and grabbed his own handful of ashes. He flung it into the air, where it exploded like a firework. He stared at the display, as the wind suddenly picked up and blew the ashes further over the water. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"Seth," said a low voice.

Turning, Seth numbly allowed Piper to grab the urn from him. She placed a hand on his arm, nodding. "It's okay."

He stepped off to the side and allowed Piper to have her moment.

Holding it together better than her brother, Piper sighed. "I think all of us always knew this is how we'll all eventually end up, but that doesn't make it any easier." Clenching her teeth together, Piper held the wall of emotions she felt at bay. She wasn't going to cry.

"There were so many things left unsaid between us," Piper whispered harshly. "So much regret and anger…but I gotta try and let go of it. Being mad at you isn't going to help me in any way.

"You know, I always blamed you for what happened to Dad. Maybe it was your fault, maybe it wasn't. But regardless, I forgive you. For all of it. For everything."

Piper reached in and gently loped a handful of ashes into the water. "Hopefully you're with Dad again."

Piper, still holding the urn, held it out to her daughter.

A look of panic flashed across Merrill's face. She took a tiny step back. "I—I don't know what to say," she admitted nervously.

Piper reached out and placed a comforting hand on Merrill's shoulder. "You don't have to say anything," she said, soothingly.

A bit reassured by the words, Merrill nodded and hesitantly reached into the urn. She released her own handful of ashes, not knowing how to feel about the grandmother she had no relationship with.

Piper gave her daughter a proud nod.

"Anyone else?" Piper asked, looking around the group.

"I'll go." Stepping through the crowd, Cara came forward. Piper lowered the urn so Cara could reach into it.

"Hi, Aunt Jan," Cara began awkwardly. She remembered the last encounter she'd had with the woman. When she had snuck downstairs in the middle of the night to unknowingly open the door for a demon. That last conversation between herself and Jan played in her head. "Thanks for understanding me. I just wish I had listened to what you said." She wished she hadn't opened the door, and went back to bed like Jan had suggested. Because, inadvertently, Cara had begun the domino effect that led them to where they were right then.

She released the dust into the wind and took a step back.

Noah hobbled forward and took another handful. "Sorry," he said simply. Even if it hadn't been him, a demon had still used his body to stab her. So in some way, he did have to take the blame for it. But he didn't want to rehash all of that for saying it out loud. It wouldn't do any good. "I'll try to make you proud," he added the last part, surprising himself, even. Maybe he could make up for what he'd done as a demon by helping those who couldn't help themselves.

Sam came by next, and felt awkward as he spread some of the ashes. He didn't know the woman very well, and felt it was better if he just didn't say anything. There was nothing of value that he could add, so he just wished the woman an easy rest.

Slowly releasing Alice, Dean came forward and glanced down at the urn. "Thanks for looking after my family," he said plainly. Jan had literally given her life for Allie and the kids. And there wasn't any amount of gratitude that could make up for that.

Bobby, who had stood on the fray of the group, slowly came forward. His hands were shoved in the pockets of the vest he wore, ratty trucker cap pulled down far, covering most of his face.

Once he reached Dean, Bobby removed his hands from his pocket, and held them out, hovering near the urn. "I'll take it, boy," he said quietly.

Dean glanced at Bobby, and slowly handed the object over. He remembered the argument they'd had a few days back, the one where Dean brought up the fact Bobby missed Jan maybe more than he let on. He still didn't know exactly what Jan had meant to Bobby, but Dean could tell she had meant something.

There weren't very many ashes left in the urn when Bobby finally held it. He tried to think of something to say that would be meaningful. But it was like his mind went blank. "You know," he eventually said, deciding that anything he would've wanted to say to her, she already had an idea of. They understood each other, not in so many words, but they both knew.

Ceremoniously, Bobby gently tipped the urn over, so the rest of the ashes floated onto the water, mingling with the waves as they slowly met with the sand. "You're free now, woman," Bobby muttered so lowly, no one else heard it.

When the urn was empty, Bobby replaced the lid and set the empty container down onto the sand. He shoved his hands back into his pockets, and stared out at the water. Everyone else slowly moved to stand on either side of him.

The group watched the waves rise and fall, and listened the wind. The sun was slowly rising, causing the water to glitter. More and more people were starting to appear as the morning wore on. And soon, when the group would finally leave, the world would keep on spinning, unaware of a great woman they had just lost, but one that had finally become part of the lake she loved so much.

The waves and the wind had carried Janet away, and now, she was everywhere, and nowhere.

The group had slowly broken up after the ashes had been scattered. Bobby was very quick to depart and head back to South Dakota, leaving with few words.

Currently, Piper and Seth were sitting on the edge of a nearby deck, their legs hanging over the water. They hadn't exchanged many words. They didn't need to. It wasn't their first time they had come to this lake to say goodbye to a parent. Although they both felt the same way, their reactions had been different.

After their father's death, Piper had bolted. She stayed as far away from the lake as she could, not wanting to get within even a hundred miles of Chicago. Seth, on the other hand, had moved away, but continued to live on the lake as he had as a child. Their lingering grief had manifested itself in different ways. Seth stayed near the lake to be close to his parents, and Piper hunted to be close to them.

A little ways back, Merrill was sitting off by herself in the sand. She mindlessly churned the sand over and over in both hands, busy thinking about her father and the call he'd left her. It wasn't anything groundbreaking, but he always tried to tell her that hunting was a sin whenever he did—like he had any idea.

And she wouldn't lie; Merrill often wished her father would just die. He basically already was dead to them anyways, but if he had just died instead of ruining their family, at least the image of him could've been as a good man. She sighed and continued to comb through the sand, letting it slip between her fingers, like the ashes of her grandmother.

Realizing that analogy, Merrill removed her hands from the sand, a bit disgusted by the connection her mind had made. And then she immediately felt guilty for thinking of her grandmother like that—but she couldn't find any real sympathy, because she hadn't even known the woman. And Piper talked about her mother about as much as she talked about Cliff. So Merrill really had no idea what Janet Sutton had been like. That's what made this day so strange. She was watching her family mourn for someone that barely even existed to her.

On a bench nearby, Noah sat next to his mother. Sam, Dean, and Cara stood facing them. Alice and Dean had just finished telling Cara and Noah that they were willing to let the kids learn how to use weapons, about the lore, and even go on a few hunts in time. Sam had stood nearby, absolutely floored by the revelation that both parents had agreed to it with little fight—especially after taking Cara to hunt down a clown. Of course, both kids couldn't believe it and were absolutely over the moon with the prospect of it, especially since both parents had given their blessing.

After the excitement had died down, Alice went to go talk to her cousins, and Cara and Noah found themselves going to get to know their cousin, Merrill.

Sam had taken a seat next to his brother on the bench. He leaned forward, arms braced across his thighs. "I wish we could've given Dad a sendoff like this," Sam sighed.

Teeth immediately clenched together, Dean nodded halfheartedly. He thought he and his brother could just sit here quietly without Sam trying to talk about their feelings. Guess not. "You know he wanted the standard salt and burn," Dean replied.

"I know. I know. It's just…"

"Jesus Christ, Sam." Dean abruptly stood up from the bench. "I can't deal with this."

A bit puzzled, maybe a bit hurt, Sam looked up at his brother. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Stop trying to act like there's something wrong when everything is fine."

"Is everything fine, though?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, you tell me, little brother," Dean snapped back. "You're the one who's always trying to get me to talk about my feelings. But why don't we talk about how you're feeling, huh, Sammy?

"Like it's funny how when Dad was alive, you were such a contrarian—always did the opposite of whatever he said. But as soon as he died, you're suddenly acting like you two were Gandhi and MLK!"

"And what's so wrong with that?" Sam asked quietly.

Dean waved a hand at him. "Nothing man. Absolutely nothing."

Sam bit his lower lip and looked out at the water, contemplating whether or not he should bring up what's on his mind. He wasn't going to, but Dean's rude, pissed off comments under his breath made Sam change his mind.

"Look, Dean, I know talking about your feelings is…hard for you, but I can tell there's something that's been weighing you down."

Dean suddenly paled. His arms dropped to his side, and it felt like he was going to pass out for a minute. Did Sammy somehow know what John had told Dean right before he died? "I don't know what you're talking about," Dean choked.

"Dad made a deal for you, Dean. I know you know that."

Initially, Sam was relieved that he didn't know what was really bothering Dean. But then he remembered that Dad had made a deal. And he felt like shit all over again. "Thanks for the reminder," Dean muttered, the fight slowly leaving his body.

Sam noticed this and softened a bit. "Dean…"

"Sam, come on. Can we please not talk about Dad?" Dean felt his anger flaring up again. Every time Sam asked him how he was feeling, it just fanned the fire in his anger. It was a sore subject for them both.

Reluctantly, Sam held up his hands. "Alright. Fine. Just…if things get too much for you, will you let me know?" Sam implored.

"Sure thing," Dean said with a snap, not even listening anymore. But both brothers knew that was a lie.

"How old are you?" Cara found herself asking.

Merrill—really wishing she was alone right now—rolled her eyes. "Fifteen."

"You know I'm almost eleven?" Cara asked, proudly.

"Ya don't say," Merrill replied sardonically, wishing these kids would get the memo and scram.

"Yeah, I'm gonna be starting middle school in the fall."

"Wow."

"You were hunting vampires?" Noah asked.

Merrill nodded. "Yeah."

"You know, I'm gonna learn how to hunt too," Noah said, wanting to everyone he could that he was going to be a hunter.

"Crazy," Merrill said. She didn't think her distant cousins were too bad when they weren't talking to her or breathing her air, but now that they were, she wished they would go away. She didn't know why she got stuck on kiddie duty or why the two felt compelled to come talk to her. Just because they were from the same generation or whatever didn't mean they were in the same boat. They were stupid kids that were in over their heads.

Neither Mercer kid seemed to realize how desperately their older cousin wished they would shut up and go away. They were so enamored by the idea of a new family member close to their age that they assumed she'd want to hang out with them as well.

"When did you start to hunt?" Noah asked.

Merrill rolled her eyes and glanced up at the sky. "Don't remember. I've been doing it for a long time."

"I bet by the time I'm your age I'll be a better hunter than you," Noah predicted, thinking of how awesome he was going to be.

"Congrats," Merrill huffed. They were really starting to get on her nerves now.

"And you know, as soon as this leg gets healed, I can start playing football again and—"

"Yeah, Merrill, did you know I had a broken arm? But it's okay now. It healed and—"

The two of them started to talk at the same time and tried to talk over one another, getting louder and louder.

Standing up suddenly, Merrill jumped up, covering her ears. "Oh my God! Will you two shut up? I don't care if you're starting middle school LOL OMG. I don't care that you're gonna be a better hunter than me—you can't even walk buddy. Okay? Just because we're cousins doesn't mean I want to hang out with you two. So just leave me alone. Jesus." Merrill abruptly turned on her heel and started walking up the beach, hands clenched into fists, her arms swinging violently.

The adults that were scattered around, had turned when they heard Merrill's indiscernible yelling. Piper was immediately up, following after her daughter, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Dean who had been the closest, already irritated with his brother, caught sight of Cara and Noah's shocked, wounded faces. He walked over to them, and stood over them. "What'd she say to you?" He demanded, fired up.

Cara, with tears pricking her eyes looked up at her father. "I guess…we were bothering her," she covered. She really didn't want to sound like a tattle tale.

"Noah?" Dean asked, seeing that Cara wasn't going to say.

Taking his sister's lead, he just shrugged. "Umm…"

Still, it was obvious at how upset the two were. "That little—" Dean growled under his breath, starting up the beach after Merrill.

Alice came up behind him and quickly intercepted him, catching him by the arm. "Dean, what are you doing?"

"I'm gonna go knock some sense into her," Dean hissed, blowing the situation way out of proportion.

"Dean, Dean." Alice snapped a finger in front of his face. "Are you kidding me? She's a teenager, Dean!"

"Really? Look at them, Allie!" He pointed at the kids. Cara was currently helping Noah stand, passing the crutches to him. They still looked more shocked than anything else.

"Dean," Alice hissed.

A moment later, Piper came back to the beach, without Merrill.

Catching sight of the mother, Dean—apparently angry out of his mind—stomped towards her. "Hey! What did your daughter say to my kids?" He demanded.

Affronted by his aggression, Piper help up her hands. "I don't know. She ran off before I could talk to her her. Just needs some time to cool down"

"Well, when you do see her, tell her to stay the hell away from my kids, alright?"

"Whoa dude, what's your problem?" Piper demanded.

"Right now, your daughter is my problem." Dean pointed right in her face.

Smacking the finger out of her face, Piper felt her anger rising. "How about you just worry about your own kids, huh?"

"Just tell your daughter that if I see her bullying my kids again—"

"You'll what?" Piper's eyes had gone wide, making her look like she was crazy.

"Hey, hey, hey! Enough, alright?" Seth was suddenly in between the two, pulling Piper away from Dean.

"Just watch yourself," Dean warned to Piper.

"Maybe you should ask your kids what happened, instead of threatening mine!" Piper yelled, as Seth continued to shove her back.

Sam and Alice were suddenly in front of Dean, blocking his view of Piper, as she and Seth retreated up the beach.

"What the fuck was that?!" Alice finally asked once her cousins were far enough away.

Dispelling some anger Dean clenched his hands together. "Did you see how upset they were, Alice?" His voice shook erratically, like he barely had any control of it.

"I think they're more upset of how much of a damn fool you made of yourself then whatever the hell she said to them," Alice hissed. Cara and Noah had moved back over to the bench. Dean didn't know if they had migrated over there themselves or if an adult had put them there and told them to stay put.

Dean scoffed and pushed past her. He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just tired of our kids being hurt, Alice."

She could feel her face burning up. "Then maybe you should actually be there for them, then Dean! Instead of working on your stupid car, maybe you should have actually spent some time with your kids!"

Dean's mouth fell into a thin line. "I told you I'm gonna make it up to them."

"Please, Dean. You've been saying that their entire lives, and we're all still waiting." Alice didn't know what made her say what she had, but between scattering Jan's ashes, and her exhaustion from finding her cousins, Alice's emotions were wound so tightly in a ball that she couldn't sort out what she was feeling. All she knew was that she had reached the end of her rope. She had run out of patience for him.

"Bitch," Dean spat suddenly, losing control of his emotions, just like she had.

"Hey!" Sam got between the two again. "Cool it."

"Why don't you leave like you always do?" Alice suggested with an icy tone, ignoring Sam.

"Fine by me, sweetheart. Oh don't tell me you're gonna start crying," he snapped at her.

"I'm done. I'm so done. Go," Alice demanded. She spun around and stomped back to where Cara and Noah were.

"Yeah, and I'm the one that always leaves," Dean scoffed, when it was just him and his brother. "What?"

Sam looked at him as if he were an alien. "Dude, are you sure there's nothing you want to talk about?"

"Fuck off, Sam." Dean growled at him before turning on his heel and walking down the beach, away from everyone.

Left alone, Sam tangled his hands in his hair and let out a frustrated, upset growl. Turning, he made a beeline for where Alice was packing up everything they had come with.

"We're leaving," the mother said with finality to the protesting children. She shoved the empty urn into a canvas bag she had brought it in.

"Where's Dad?" Noah asked.

Not even responding—due to how mad she was—Alice hitched the bag over her shoulder. "We're leaving."

"Just like that?" Cara asked.

"Alice?" Sam cautiously approached the angry woman.

"What?" She asked tightly, using a much more controlled tone than when she was talking to Dean.

"Are you okay?" He asked, carefully.

"Mhm," Alice responded through pinched lips, taking a few steps away from her kids.

"Look, he's been repressing a lot. He didn't mean it—"

"He never does. Does he?" She asked mirthlessly.

"Trust me, I'm no stranger to dealing with him when he's acting like a child. But don't blame him completely, alright? I tried to get him to talk about our dad and I think that may have triggered him."

Alice's expression didn't change. "That's no excuse. You asked him how he was feeling an instead of expressing himself like an adult, he decides to Hulk out, threaten a teenage girl, and make a complete ass of himself in front of my family and his kids.

"Dean's not the only one that's dealing with a ton of crap. He needs to grow up and own up to his shit. I don't need another kid to worry about."

Sam sighed, realizing she wasn't wrong.

Alice softened a bit. "Look…you know where to find us, okay? And tell your brother if he ever comes to his senses and grows a pair that he knows where to find us too, alright?"

Sam nodded slowly. "Sure."

"Great. I've gotta go." She called for Cara and Noah again, in a no nonsense voice that said she didn't want to hear them complain about leaving so suddenly.

As each kid passed, Sam bent down and gave them a hug, saying he'd see them soon.

Neither asked about when they would see Dean again. Sam could see the fear in their eyes, which they both wanted to know and not know the answer.

Once the Mercers were gone, Sam walked towards the water, kicking at the waves. He shoved his hands in his pocket and felt his eyes sting. Every time he thought things were getting better, something happened that further fractured his family. Everyone was barely hanging by a thread, especially his brother.

It was times like this when Sam really really wished Jess was still there. She always knew what to say and had an amazing knack for keeping the peace. She had been his rock and even though it had been months, Sam still felt the ache that she had left behind.

After several aching minutes of thinking about and missing Jess, Sam began to trek in the direction Dean had gone.

But he had only taken several steps before he felt a transient pain in his head. Wincing slightly, he stopped for a second and then continued forward. However, all of a sudden, the transient pain suddenly began pounding against his skull like battle drums.

The pain escalated, and once it reached a certain level, Sam suddenly fell to his knees with a cry. Hands gripped on either side of his head as it throbbed and pulsated. Through the pain, in his head, he saw strange visions dance across his eyes. He could vaguely make out Dean's face. It was bloodied and beaten.

The color of the visions increased, as well as the intensity of the pain. It caused Sam to fall over onto the sand, senses completely overwhelmed, leaving him lying in the dust.

Somehow, Noah had managed to fall asleep in the hour long ride from Lake Michigan back to Batavia.

But suddenly, he had sat up with a sudden gasp, similar to at Aunt Jan's when he had woken up to the sound of a car crash in his ear. Except, instead of crunching glass and metal, he heard screams and shouts that sounded sickeningly familiar.

Alice, from the driver's seat, glanced back at him in the rearview mirror. "Noah? Are you okay?"

Breathing heavily, Noah glanced at Cara, who was looking back at him from the front seat. She seemed to understand what was going on, and looked concerned.

"Mom," Noah gasped.

"What?" She demanded.

"I think Dad's in trouble."

Hope everyone enjoyed! Please review!