A/N: Well, that's a wrap! I had so much fun writing this story, and I want to thank every single person who read/reviewed/favorited/followed. I'm super happy with how this turned out, and I hope that if you enjoyed this fic, you'll check out some of my other stories for this pairing. Thanks a lot, everyone!
Chris turned the key and pushed his front door open, guiding Stephanie inside with the other hand. Penelope was nodded off against Stephanie's shoulder, her mass of blond curls falling freely onto Stephanie's blouse. She stepped inside and glanced around while Chris shut the door, crossing the living room to pick up a framed photo of her and Chris together. She puckered her lips and melted at the image of them all hugged up, loving that he was thoughtful enough to select a fancy frame and display it in his home.
"Oh, the way we were," she gushed. Chris came up behind her and peered over her shoulder at the photo, smiling as he placed his hand on the small of her back.
"I like the way we are now even better."
Chris kissed her cheek and led her to the sofa, where they both sat down. He patted the cushion at his side, motioning for Stephanie to put Penelope down, but she shook her head. "I'd really rather hold her."
"Oh, yeah, that's cool," Chris nodded.
He covered her kneecap with his hand and massaged the area with his fingertips. Stephanie met his gaze, tipping her head as she tried to figure out what to make of his insistence that she visit the place with him. It was the same house Chris had purchased in Connecticut while they were apart, and she wasn't any more fond of it than she had been the first time she stepped foot inside. That wasn't to say she didn't admire the spectacular views of the ocean from the backyard or the wide glass panels separating most of the rooms downstairs, but they had a daughter, and Stephanie couldn't imagine raising a child safely in such a place.
"What are we doing here, Chris?" she asked, so bluntly, in fact, that Chris temporarily lost his whole thought process. He had it all planned out, knowing exactly what he would say to make her stay there with him so they could build a life together, but hearing her voice worked up his nerves and threw all preparation out the window.
"I..." he paused, scratching the top of his head, then his cheek. "I thought we could...that you would..."
"Sweetie," she murmured, shaking her head, "I think it's wonderful that you bought this place with Penelope and me in mind, but we can't live here, if that's what you're gearing up to ask me. You understand that, right?"
"But why not?" Chris asked. "What's so wrong with it?"
"It's not safe for Penelope."
"It's gorgeous here, and I could imagine her growing up in this place. We can make a little study room for her and just have her home-schooled by a tutor when the time comes. This would be her place to come into her own and to grow up. I'm trying to see this from your side, but I don't get it. Why can't we safeguard it a little more and move in here together?"
"The glass, Chris," Stephanie said, bucking her head in the general direction. "She's going to be a toddler soon, learning to walk and then learning to run. Do you know how easy it would be for her to not realize the glass panels are there and run straight into them? It's like asking for trouble."
"I just want you to let me do something for once. I'm the man of this family, I'm the one who's supposed to be providing for you guys, and you won't let me."
"I'm open to house hunting," Stephanie shrugged, leaning forward to set her purse on the table. "I will absolutely go back to the realtor with you and see what else we can find, but I'm not comfortable raising our daughter here. This is a place you and I could live together in, but not when we have a child to think about."
"There's nothing else I can say?" Chris asked, pleading with his eyes as he leaned forward. "Nothing I can do to make you want a life here?"
"A life with you, yes, but a life in this exact house? No."
"Forget it, then. Let's go home."
"But Mom and Dad wanted us over for lunch in a bit. Since I'm going back to work on Monday, they wanted to meet with us. Plus, I think part of it is curiosity, because we're back together, and I get the feeling they want to see how we're acting or whatever. They've only seen us once since we became a couple again."
"We'll head over," Chris nodded. Gulping down the hurt, he cleared his throat and raised up, making clipped strides to the front door. His palm rested on the handle as Stephanie stood behind him, reaching down for her purse, but she never made it that far. "Wait."
"Hm?" Stephanie straightened up and looked at him. "What's wrong?"
Chris stepped back in front of her, longing to wrap his arms around her waist, but Penelope's positioning wouldn't allow for it. Needing instant comfort, Chris inched forward and pressed his lips to the back of Penelope's head, moving swiftly to Stephanie's lips next. She moaned and rubbed his neck, flicking her tongue playfully against his until Chris pulled away. Her hand didn't leave his neck.
"I need to tell you something."
"What is it?" Stephanie asked, squaring her shoulders.
She was guarding herself, almost like she were hoping for the best but expecting the worst. This woman he loved so dearly, whom he had made passionate love to less than 24 hours prior, still didn't trust him. She was fearful, always waiting for him to mess up in a way that would cement for her that he hadn't changed a bit. Stephanie wasn't convinced Chris had changed, or that he ever would, and he didn't need the words to fall from her lips to realize that.
He saw it in her eyes, in the way her pupils wavered and jaw set as she braced herself. She stood there frozen, waiting for him to speak, but the words would no longer come. Chris could feel a tremor settling in his throat, and he wasn't even sure he could speak without bursting into tears. He had gone through hell to get Stephanie back, and when they had spent the day prior together in bed, he thought he finally had her all the way, but now, he saw the truth for what it was.
Chris didn't have Stephanie back at all. Not the way he'd had her before the break-up. Huffing loudly, Chris placed his hand on his forehead and turned away from her. "Never mind. I can tell you at your house."
"Our house," she corrected, but it was too late. Chris just didn't feel the connection anymore. He stepped forward, but she matched him with one of her own, catching his wrist. "What's going on? Would you just stop and talk to me?"
"It kills me," Chris said, dropping his head and shaking it left to right. "I don't know how to even talk to you about this."
"What did you do?" she asked, her accusatory tone returning in a flash. Chris shuffled his feet, turning himself around so he could look her in the eye. Here he was, trying to express his feelings, and she was misinterpreting his disposition. No amount of love could trump trust, so if Stephanie wasn't going to believe in him, he needed to let her go. Both for their good and the good of their child.
Lowly, Chris said, "What you just said to me, that's exactly the problem. It's that right there."
"What?" she asked. "You're the one being weird."
"No, I'm trying to share things with you and you're assuming the worst, asking me what I did, like I'm guilty of something. What I was going to tell you had absolutely nothing to do with anything bad I did. You don't trust me, Stephanie, and you don't even try to hide it," he pointed out, moving closer. "When we were apart, you didn't trust me with our daughter and now that we're back together, you still don't trust me with anything else. I can't choose where we live, I can't choose anything for Penelope, and on our second full day back together, you're already accusing me of doing something wrong without even knowing what I was going to say."
"The way you were acting, I thought you had to tell me something bad."
"But that's exactly my point. You don't trust me, and I don't know why you'd want to be with someone you can't trust."
"Because I love you and trust can be rebuilt."
"Well, I don't want to wait 10 years for you to finally believe me when I tell you something. I don't want to wait that long to be able to choose where we live or what we do. I want to be given a chance now, so if you can't do that, be honest about it and let me go."
"I thought you didn't want to go," she challenged, her eyes flashing. "I thought you wanted me."
"I do, but I'm starting to realize it's never gonna be the same between us. It'll never be like it was."
"So what? We can start fresh and make a new beginning."
"Not when you still don't trust me from before."
"Oh, goodness, Chris, that takes time!" she hissed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Stephanie dropped her hand with enough force that it smacked into her thigh. "I can't suddenly trust everything you say or do overnight. It's up to you to prove yourself to me."
"Okay, then while you're waiting for me to prove myself, we'll be apart. When you finally trust me again, let me know and we can get back together."
"What are you saying?" she gasped. "Where is this even coming from?"
"It's coming from here," Chris said, pointing to his pounding heart as his eyes glistened with unshed tears. "It's coming from the deepest part of me. I've never loved any person on this planet the way I love you; never. When I went to see you at work all that time ago and you told me you were pregnant with some other guy's baby, you know what I did? I went back out to my car and sobbed. Me, Chris fucking Jericho, went and sat in his car like a little bitch and cried his fucking eyes out. I didn't want to go on anymore because I thought you were going to move on without me, and I couldn't handle it. I was weak and pathetic."
"I'm sorry," Stephanie murmured, swallowing thickly as tears pooled in her own eyes. She refused to let them fall. "I shouldn't have lied to you back then. I was wrong."
"It's not about that, Steph. You're missing the point I'm trying to make," Chris said, rubbing his cheek to keep from losing his cool completely. If he allowed the gravity of his emotions to suck him in, he would surely crumble to his knees. "I'm telling you this because I've never shed a tear over any other woman. I've been bummed in the past over break-ups, but I've never felt as deeply for someone as I feel for you. I want to be the person you can trust, not only to be good to you, but also to make decisions in our everyday lives. Just the other day, we were talking about marriage, but guess what? We can't do that without trust."
"I know that."
"I keep trying to be a better man, and I try to do things that will move me into a head of household position, if you get what I'm saying. I don't know if that was the right term to use for this, but I'm just trying to say that I want to be the one who takes care of everything for the three of us," Chris shared, pointing to Stephanie and Penelope.
"I understand."
"But every time I want to do something, you shoo me away. I try to get us a house, and you refuse to live in it. I try to plan out places I can bring Penelope, and you find something wrong with every single place I choose. I ask if I can bring Penelope to Canada to see my dad, and you say now's not a good time. Then when is a good time?" Chris demanded. "When will it be okay for me to make decisions in my own daughter's life?"
"When you prove to me you're capable of that."
Chris exhaled sharply and stared up at the ceiling, whispering, "I'm so pissed."
"And I'm sorry you feel that way," she responded, "but you have to see where I'm coming from, too. You have to understand my side of the situation."
Turning his back to her once more, Chris said, "You're treating me exactly like you did when we were still broken up. Why are we back together if nothing has changed?"
"Because everything changed," Stephanie corrected, patting Penelope's back as she walked up behind Chris. She stroked his hair with her free hand. "You came back around and turned back into the man I used to know and love. You started actually having discussions with me instead of arguments, and I'm proud of how much growth I've seen in you. I don't want to hurt you, Chris, and sometimes I think it's hard for you to believe that, but it's the truth. I don't do things just for the hell of it or to hurt your feelings. I only do what I feel is right in the moment, and I'm not perfect. I get that I make mistakes along the way, but I'm winging it here. I've never had to take care of a child before, and neither have you. We're making it through this life the best way we know how."
"Then what reason is there that I can't fix this place up to be safe enough for Penelope? Why can't I take Penelope and fly to Canada for a day or two? Why can't I take Penelope into town somewhere without you saying no? I thought once we got back together it would be different, but you said no to me again last night when I brought up taking Penelope to the zoo. How does that even make sense?"
Chris was nearly panting, the back of his neck and his ears bright red. It was clear he was upset, so Stephanie dropped her hand from his hair and slipped the same arm around his waist instead, propping her chin on his shoulder. He still wouldn't look at her. "As far as this house, if you're serious about fixing it up, I think you should. We can live in my house until the work on this one is complete, and as long as it's a good place for Penelope, we can all move in together. Maybe get rid of the glass panels and we'll see. As for Canada, I don't have an issue except that you were wanting to stay up there for a few extra days in a cabin and snowboard with your friends and cousins. I don't want Penelope away from me for that long. And with the zoo thing, I didn't say we couldn't. I said we needed to plan it out in advance."
"But why can't I ever take her anywhere by myself?"
"You can. Take her to Canada by yourself, but not if you're going to be up there for several days. If you're only taking her there for a full day and coming back on the second day, that's one thing, but that wasn't what you said."
"Okay, but even if I wanted to take her into town by myself, you wouldn't let me. I found a giant indoor playroom for babies and young kids, and you wouldn't let me take her there for an hour, either."
"She's still young. I don't want her to get sick."
"There's always an excuse."
"Not an excuse, just an observation."
"Just admit that you won't let me take her because you don't trust me. You don't think I'm a good dad, period. Say it!"
"I won't say it," she countered, "because that's not true."
Defeated, Chris sank against her chest, Stephanie stumbling from the added weight as he leaned into her for support. She held him tighter. "I just want you to trust me, and love me, and be proud of me. I want you to think I'm a good father and boyfriend, and if we get married someday, I want you to think I'm a good husband, too. I thought when we got back together that everything was fixed, but now I'm starting to feel like I'm having to win you back over again."
"I'm not worth being won back over?"
"Steph," Chris sighed, circling around to face her. He caressed her cheek with his thumb, running that same digit over her lips, first the top, then the bottom. "You're worth everything."
"Then give us time. Give me time to adjust, give yourself time to find your role in our family, give it time for balance to be restored. Relax and give it time, and it'll all work out."
"What if it doesn't?"
Stephanie inched forward, dotting Chris's nose with a kiss and capturing his lips next. She pulled away smiling. "There's still a lot of hurt, I know. I see it in you, and I feel it in myself. There are some old wounds that aren't healing as fast as we might have thought they would, but we do have love, and we're working on trust. It can't reappear overnight. We have to work at this just like anything else, but I know that I love you, and you're a good man. There's nobody else I would rather have as a boyfriend, and certainly not as the father of my daughter. When I woke up this morning and looked at you across from me in bed, I knew I made the right choice. This will work, but we can't give up on each other at the first sign of trouble. Just like you're learning how to be with me again, I'm learning, too. It's going to be rocky at first, so we may as well forgive each other in advance for any mistakes we make."
"You're right."
"Neither of us are perfect. We have to do the best we can and learn as we go, and I get that I'm not always the easiest person to work with, so I'll give you that. I'm trying to change and learn to let Penelope go a little more, because you are her father and you deserve special alone time with her. I promise if you give me until dinner today, we can talk about this again and figure out a place you can bring Penelope on your own so you two get your own time in. You still mad at me?" she asked, her eyes twinkling as she smirked at him. Chris swiped at his face and chuckled.
"Yeah. Fucking pissed, actually," he laughed.
"Well, Penelope's napping. We can always put her in the crib upstairs while I make you all better," she flirted.
"Are you sure this house is safe enough for that?" Chris asked, sarcasm hanging off his every word. Stephanie's eyes narrowed and she propped her free hand on her hip, puckering her lips.
"Are you mocking me, Mr. Irvine?"
"Hell yeah."
"That's the Chris I know and love," she winked, sauntering away from him and up the stairs.
She added an extra swivel to her hips that was clearly for his benefit, so Chris followed her up and enjoyed the view. When they reached the top, Chris showed Stephanie to the nursery and was pleasantly surprised to find that she liked the color schemes and was fond of the job he had done. Once Penelope was down, Stephanie cracked the door and Chris picked her up, waiting until she wrapped her legs around his waist. Carrying her down the hall, Chris deposited her gently on the bed when he reached the bottom of it.
Chris fell on top of her with a grunt, pressing his lips roughly against her and grabbing the hem of her shirt. He left her mouth long enough to work the shirt over her head, tossing it away and fidgeting with the button on her jeans. When it came undone, Chris slid them off of her body, tugging her panties down with them. He rid himself of his own shirt and pants while Stephanie reached behind herself and unhooked her bra, her full breasts freed as she twirled the garment around her fingers a few times before tossing it to the floor.
Chris crawled onto the bed and they stayed that way a moment, each gazing into the other's eyes, desperate for answers that never seemed to come. First to reach his hand out was Chris, and Stephanie grabbed onto it with hers. He lay down beside her and swept her hair from her face with one hand. Stephanie had a one-track mind, reaching between his legs to take hold of his manhood, but he nudged her away. "Not yet, baby. Just a minute."
"What're we waiting for? Penelope's gonna be up soon."
"I know, I know, I just...need something from you."
Her eyes softened. "What is it?"
"The garden," Chris said, taking a brief pause, "it's making me think."
"What about?"
"You did it and didn't let anything stop you," he said. "We broke up, and I know you were super stressed about a lot of stuff at that time, but you still got your garden together. You put all those beautiful flowers out in your backyard and they're flourishing and budding, and it's almost symbolic to me, in a way. It's a sign that no matter how hard shit gets, you can get through it if you want to badly enough."
"Yeah, I guess you can," Stephanie purred, leaning in to kiss his chest a few times. She moaned and caught his ass in her hands, squeezing. Making her wait would be more difficult than he had expected, because when she was in the mood, there was no stopping her.
"I need you to listen to me. I have to tell you something."
"I'm listening," she insisted, still pressing her lips all over his chest. She whispered against his skin, "I love you so much."
Chris pressed his eyes closed and stroked her hair. "I love you, too, and just so you know, this house has officially become my project, just like the garden was for you. I'm not going to sit back and complain that you don't want to live here. I'm going to have someone come in, look at the place, and tell me what it will cost to have all that extra glass removed, and I'm going to make this the safest damn house you've ever seen, because it's right on the water, and I want us here together as a family. This is the house we're going to build our lives in."
"Yeah?" Stephanie asked, still kissing him. He opened his eyes and smiled down at her, even though she couldn't see since she was too busy tending to him.
"Yeah, babe. You can plant a garden out back here, too, and we can get married while we're living in this house and have some more kiddos in this house. I'm telling you right now, this is the place where all of our dreams are going to come true. I'm going to be your husband, you're going to be my wife, and Penelope's going to get brothers and sisters. You hear me?"
"I hear you."
Then, he cleared his throat, taking a deeper breath. "But do you believe me?"
There came the true test. Stephanie lifted her head, connecting to his loving gaze and placing her hands on his shoulders. She lovingly pecked his lips and pulled back, running her hand over the back of his head. "I believe you."
"Good," he answered, swirling his fingertips over her cheek. Stephanie leaned in for another kiss, groaning when he pressed his index finger to the tip of her nose to stop her momentum. "Wait, one more thing. You know how we settled on 'someday' for marriage?"
"Yeah."
"We should say something more encouraging. Not quite so vague."
"How about we say 'forever'?" she suggested. "As in, you and I will be together forever, no matter what. Through good times and bad, you'll be my rock and I'll be yours."
"I like that better," he grinned. "Forever?"
Stephanie nodded firmly as she held his face in her hands. "Forever. Now can I please kiss you without interruption?"
The second Chris opened his mouth to speak, Penelope wailed from a few rooms down, cutting her nap short by several minutes. Stephanie's mouth dropped open in shock, and Chris got a kick out of her frustration, pointing and laughing at her for the fun of it. Stephanie swatted his hand and climbed off the bed, wrapping her nude body in a robe she found inside Chris's closet. As she exited the room, he called after her, "Welcome to our life!"
Stephanie held her arms out and laughed. Before she disappeared inside Penelope's nursery, she turned back to Chris. "It's a busy life, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Would you?"
"Never," Chris stated, without hesitation.
"Yeah, me neither," she replied. Winking, she left to grab Penelope and Chris covered himself with the blanket, bending his arms back behind his head as he glanced around the palatial master bedroom. The space was fit for a king and queen, befitting in all ways to him and Stephanie. As he thought back to Stephanie's request, Chris made an internal commitment to get the house in working order, already mulling over the methods he could use to turn it into a safe haven for his family.
One of these days, he would turn that house into a home.