A/N: Hello guys, I'm back! The next chapter is finally here! Sorry it took so long. I'm really glad you enjoyed the Princess Bride AU (who knows, maybe you'll see it again someday), and your comments were a pleasure to read and respond to. Hope you're all doing well. I'll be back soon for chapter 35! Thank you as always for reading!
Baker's Mania: Alya points out that Marinette is one of two people in her class who have yet to be akumatized. Concerned that her friends will use process of elimination to figure out who Ladybug is, Marinette makes plans to stage her own akuma attack, with...mixed results. Idea by Wai-Jing Waraugh.
It was late November, and while most students were more focused on final exams, Marinette was in a panic over something else entirely. Namely, she was one of two people left in her class that had not yet been akumatized.
This had come to her attention last week, when Alya and Nino had begun a collage for their school project. It featured each of the members of their class in their akumatized forms. The point was to demonstrate that being used by a supervillain was something that no one should be ashamed of. Normal, even. Well…normal for Paris.
But in the process of creating the collage, Alya had pulled Marinette aside one afternoon, and said, "Girl, I don't have an akuma costume for you in the collage…haven't you been akumatized yet?"
To which Marinette had responded with a strained, "Um no, I guess not."
Her friend had seemed impressed, if a little skeptical. "Wow, I guess it's just down to you and Adrien. I'll just draw you guys in normal clothes, then. But I guess this is good, right? It means you're purer of heart than the rest of us. Or," Alya laughed with subtle curiosity in her eyes, "maybe you're Ladybug and Chat Noir."
"As if," Marinette had scoffed, while in her head panic flushed her system with adrenaline and the stale taste of copper.
If she didn't get akumatized soon, her secret might be exposed. Alya was definitely clever enough to figure it out, and if it ended up on the Ladyblog, it would be a disaster. Even the thought of being revealed to the world made Marinette sick.
She wandered around her classes for two weeks in a kind of fear-induced funk that not even Tikki could help her shake entirely. Luckily, an idea came to her late one night and Marinette stayed up until three in the morning crafting the details.
She was going to facilitate her own akuma attack, don a false costume of her own design, and dissuade her class from coming to the increasingly obvious, albeit true, conclusion that she was Ladybug. Of course, it sounded far simpler than it was…but she'd been at every akumatization ever documented, and she knew how to play a villain. She'd be able to pull it off.
Useless identity-obscuring mask? Check.
Ridiculous heavy makeup? Check.
Cool lightning effects (courtesy of the tech and pyrotechnics experts who'd arranged Jagged Stone's last rock show)? Check.
Conspicuous object for Ladybug to break to release her "akuma"? Check.
Wicked awesome, one-of-a-kind clothes? Check.
Of course, anyone who knew Marinette's secret identity probably could spot a giant hole in her plan. If she herself was Ladybug, how would Ladybug "defeat" her and cleanse the akuma?
But even that was planned out. Marinette was actually rather proud of herself for thinking of her solution. All she needed was to make her way to the small teachers' office at the front of the classroom. She could slip inside, secretly transform into Ladybug, break the rolling pin, and emerge having defeated Marinette, who would be conveniently hiding to save herself the embarrassment of facing her classmates after being akumatized.
The plan would work as long Chat Noir didn't spoil things. If he arrived before she got herself into that small office, she'd have a hard time explaining any of it to him without revealing her identity. But the only way he'd get there early was if he actually went to her school, which was pretty much impossible.
The day of her planned akumatization arrived with a brutal, cold rain that soaked anyone who wasn't protected by an umbrella. On a soggy, gloomy morning like this, everyone would be inside, bored enough to pay full attention to her antics.
Marinette was not nervous, which surprised her. It felt like another performance – something she was already used to. Being Ladybug was a performance in itself. She was a different version of herself, with enough personal distance to dissuade the crippling social anxiety she sometimes felt as Marinette. It was almost with excitement that she snuck into the bathroom before her first class, did her makeup in a stall with her tiny compact mirror, and slipped into her brand new akuma costume. When she emerged from the stall, Marinette was barely recognizable.
In her place stood her "akumatized" alter-ego, Baker's Mania. She wore her father's fluffy white hat, her face was white as though she'd been covered in flour, and she had tied a white apron around her waist.
Marinette had decided early in her planning that if she was going to be akumatized, it would have to be believable. She planned to say she'd worked too many hours at her parent's bakery and needed a day off, and those feelings had dwelled inside her for too long. Now she'd take out her aggression at school, equipped with a wooden rolling pin Chat Noir could easily target as a hiding place for the akuma. She checked to make sure Jagged Stone's lightning effects still worked at the click of a small button on her wrist, and then she knew she was ready.
She burst from the bathroom, brandishing her rolling pin. "Out of my way," she yelled. Students still in the corridors parted immediately, shrieking and running to the safety of the nearest classrooms. Marinette smiled. Perhaps this was going to be kind of fun.
Adrien heard the commotion down the hall and immediately raced toward it. Everyone else was running the other way, but his priorities were a little different than the average kid. His own safety could wait if there was an akuma on the loose.
He ducked around a corner when he heard the screams growing louder. Students stampeded past him like wildebeests fleeing a lion. When they'd all cleared the way, a girl dressed in white came into view at the edge of the hallway. She held a rolling pin in one hand, and with the other, she let off an intimidating crackle of lightning.
"My name is Baker's Mania," she cried, "and I declare that no one should have to work again. I will set everyone free of their duties as teachers and students – you'll all be under my rule instead!" She gave a cackle and proceeded to storm down the hallway, lightning flying out of her palm.
That was when Adrien decided transforming might be a good idea.
He moved back out of sight, pressed his back to the wall, and coaxed Plagg from his shirt pocket. Moments later, Chat Noir stood in his place, still silently waiting for the villain to approach. His ears swiveled to catch any and all movement. Chat was hoping Ladybug would show up before he made the first move; he preferred teamwork to solo takedowns. But she still wasn't here, and the clicks of the girl's boots on the linoleum floor were growing steadily louder. If Baker's Mania got any closer, she'd see him and he'd have to fight her alone.
But then, the footsteps stopped short of his corner and went in a new direction. When he ventured a quick glance out into the hallway, she was gone. Chat realized she must have gone into a classroom, and there was only one it could have been. His. He pictured Nino, Alya, and Marinette cowering under desks and wondering where he was.
"Sorry, My Lady," he muttered to thin air, as if Ladybug could hear him. "I can't wait for you any longer. Join me in progress, I guess."
She can't hear you, Plagg's voice sounded in his head.
"Well, I think she can. She's always close. She's right here," he said, patting his heart. He could practically feel Plagg rolling his eyes and gagging at the romance. Sometimes he did this just to make his kwami uncomfortable. But that didn't mean it wasn't also true.
He twirled his baton in his hand, then crept to the classroom and peered around the open doorway. No one noticed; Baker's Mania still held the classroom in captive rapture.
"I spent too long enslaved in the bakery," she was saying. "I'm here to liberate you all – under the rule of Baker's Mania, everyone will finally have the life they deserve! One touch with my rolling pin and you'll be under my control. Does anyone dare challenge me?" she cried. No one moved.
She let off more bright sparks of lightning and they bounced harmlessly against the ceiling.
Still determined to make an impression, Baker's Mania stepped closer to the class and swung the rolling pin. The front row ducked in anticipation. Overall, it would have been a terrifying scene…until the rolling pin flew out of her hand and hit the opposite wall with a comical smack.
Chat Noir almost wanted to laugh - this villain was trying so hard to be terrifying. She'd done exactly zero harm, besides simply scaring people and perhaps damaging some drywall. Even her lightning seemed carefully controlled to be a visual distraction rather than a weapon. But why?
Instead of charging in as he normally would, Chat's curiosity got the better of him. He leaned inconspicuously against the doorway, crossed his arms, and simply watched. He wasn't even sure this was Hawkmoth's handiwork. True, most of the akumatized victims were rather incompetent anyway, but this was different. Baker's Mania seemed to be a self-made antagonist. She had the class under control for now, but no one had been transformed into a croissant or minion anything. They were just an audience to a act.
But…why would anyone pretend to be akumatized? It made no sense.
Chat's logic circled backward again. The akuma just had to be real, he thought. Hawkmoth must have been low on options for victims today or something.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Marinette's seat was empty. She'd never miss class if she could help it. They had a quiz today.
Chat looked back at Baker's Mania, and something about her made him stand up a little straighter. She had the same black hair, the same blue eyes…and the more he thought about it, Marinette did work in her parent's bakery…which would explain the costume. That meant Baker's Mania was…
Marinette?
So she'd finally been akumatized.
Chat had been expecting it for a long time. Nearly everyone in their class had been used by Hawkmoth at some point, with the exception of Marinette and…well, him.
Now Adrien was the only person left. This hadn't occurred to him until this point, but now worry began to climb up from his stomach into his throat. Once Alya's collage was complete, he'd really stand out in his normal clothes. He'd be an anomaly, and that often started rumors.
And what would you do to keep everyone from figuring out your secret? Plagg asked wisely.
Chat didn't have to answer his kwami – the answer was obvious. He'd stage his own akuma attack to get everyone off his back.
Wait a moment…
In a flash, the arrival of Baker's Mania made perfect sense. If he was right, and he really did not want to be right, then Marinette was faking an akuma attack for a very specific reason.
Plagg, he thought, could Marinette be Ladybug?
His kwami hesitated for a bit too long. Maybe. Maybe not.
If she is, I don't know what I'm going to do.
Yes, you do. Don't kid yourself.
Plagg, I don't think you understand. If I'm right, this changes everything.
It doesn't have to.
How is it that you can be so infuriatingly uncomplicated?
Adrien, I live for two things: the balance of the universe and the succulence of cheese. There's nothing to complicate those matters. Not even pretty girls. You'd be much better off just getting over your fears and being happy. You like Ladybug. You like Marinette. If they're one and the same, it makes things easier, not harder.
Plagg made a good point. But as Chat stared with wide green eyes at Baker's Mania, his path forward lay before him with terrifying simplicity.
There was one way to find out for sure if he was right. If she was wearing Ladybug's earrings, she was the real deal. And Chat Noir was probably the only one who knew what to look for: five spots in a specific pattern. All the fan-made earrings people bought online neglected the center spot. If the center spot was there…Baker's Mania was Marinette, and Marinette was Ladybug. Which either meant Adrien's life would become even more incredible, or it would be over.
There was no use waiting any longer. If he didn't act now, Chat would change his mind. He left the sanctuary of the doorway, rolled across the floor, and at once posed in a crouched stance at the feet of Baker's Mania. Upon seeing him, her face did nothing to hide her panic.
One glance at her earrings revealed the truth, and it almost kept Chat from getting back up again. His adrenaline turned against him, freezing his muscles and locking his face into an expression of wonder.
Baker's Mania looked down at him and said with tremulous bravado, "You're no match for me. I must free those enslaved by work, even the superheroes! Give me your Miraculous!"
One glance at the rest of the class waiting eagerly for him to vanquish the threat jolted Chat back into action. He couldn't uncover Ladybug's secret in front of everyone - he needed to do something.
"Never," Chat declared, playing along. He swung his baton lightly and knocked the rolling pin from her hands. "Ladybug will have to purify your akuma, of course, but I can handle you until she arrives. You and me, one on one." He tilted his head toward the office. "Miss Mania, let's say we move this to a more private venue and let this class get back to learning geometry?"
Puzzled relief flooded Marinette's eyes, but her face remained a villain's mask.
Taking that as a yes, Chat swept her into his arms until her arms were pinned to her sides. Thankfully, Marinette had the forethought to pretend to struggle. It was lucky she wasn't putting up a real fight, for something about holding Marinette – Ladybug – made Chat feel slightly weaker than normal. If she'd really wanted to escape, he'd be swooning too much to actually keep her restrained.
He carried her into the office and closed the door behind them. Once they were alone, he whispered, "I know you're Marinette. I'm here to help you, but to get out of this, we'll have to make noises like we are fighting so no one gets suspicious."
She looked confused but nodded in understanding, then picked up a stapler and threw it at the adjacent wall with a yell. On the other side of the door, the class cheered at the smashing sound. Chat nodded in approval.
"What," he continued, "were you thinking? You could have blown your cover to everyone. You took a huge risk, Ladybug."
"I-who? What? I'm not…I'm not Ladybug…"
Even as she said this, it was easier to see Ladybug's mannerisms in Marinette. She took a step back and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear like she always did when she was nervous. Even her fingers were shaking, as they typically did when she was flushed with adrenaline.
He just stared at her, waiting for her to drop the act. He crossed his arms, and finally, she cracked.
"Fine. How did you know? How long have you-"
"Today," he said. "Why else would you stage an obviously fake akuma attack, other than to keep your friends from suspecting you are Ladybug? I would have done the same. In fact, I probably should still do that."
"Was it obvious the attack was fake?" She put a hand to her forehead in concern.
Chat paused before answering to pick up the desk chair and ram it against the door. "Take that, Baker's Mania! There's no way you'll win this fight. All your ideas are a little half-baked if you ask me," he shouted.
Then, he turned back to face Marinette and said in a near-whisper, "No, it wasn't that obvioius. I just know what to look for. And Ladybug hadn't shown up, which wasn't like her-"
"I had a plan," she interrupted. "I was going to make them chase me into this office; then I'd break the rolling pin, transform, and pretend I'd vanquished myself as Ladybug. You just arrived too early."
"Oh, and you had complete control over that situation before I got here?" Chat raised his eyebrows. "You were about as frightening as a puppy. The class wasn't scared, they were confused."
"You're angry," she noted, her eyes widening. "Is it because you know who I am now, or because I tried to stage my own akuma attack?"
"Neither. Both." He spun in a circle, pressing his fingers to his temples. "I-I'm not…angry. I don't know. I'm not saying I don't care who you are when you're not Ladybug. Because I do. But I'm just…worried because I care about you and you almost just ruined things for yourself. If you thought your cover was going to be blown, why didn't you ask me to help you? I could have been in on it from the beginning, instead of finding out this way. Don't you trust me by now?"
Marinette held up a finger and said, "Hold on." She threw a cup full of pencils to the floor, loudly boasting, "You're no match for my lightning, Chat Noir!"
The skittering sound of rolling pencils made the class clap and shout encouragements to the feline hero, who cupped his hands around his mouth and replied, "We'll see about that! I've been told my personality is electric!"
When he turned back to Marinette, she soberly answered his question. "I do trust you, Chat, but I didn't want you to have to know my identity. It's stupid, but I really do care what everyone thinks of me. What you think of me. If you knew I was Marinette, I was worried you'd think I wasn't the confident, cool person you've always known. This shy, awkward side of me isn't one I'm that proud of."
"How can you say that? You share so many of Ladybug's amazing traits just by being yourself. You're clever, excellent in high-pressure situations like this one, and so kind and understanding. In fact, I'm shocked no one figured it out sooner. I can't believe I didn't. You've been fluttering around me this whole time, yet I never saw more than I was expecting to see. My vision was clouded."
He would have kept talking, but Marinette seemed to have stopped listening. She was distracted, with her eyes focused on his costume. She put out a hand, but instead of patting his shoulder like he hoped she would, she poked one finger into the leather and frowned.
"What?" he asked.
"You're dry," she frowned. "It's raining outside. If you'd arrived here from somewhere else, you would have been using your baton to travel and you wouldn't have had an umbrella. You would have been soaked, but your hair isn't even wet. So that means you were already inside the building. You go to my school."
Chat closed his eyes. Always the eye for detail, that Ladybug. She'd was about to figure him out.
It was only fair. A secret for a secret.
"I must know you…" she mused. "I do, don't I?"
She stepped a little closer, and suddenly the office felt very quiet and very small. Chat's eyes flew back open, and he barely breathed under her deductive scrutiny.
"There's really only one person who looks enough like you," she murmured. "And he hasn't been akumatized yet either. We're the only ones left…"
When she finally figured it out, her mouth made a perfect "o" and she stepped back again.
"This whole time? You've been Adrien, this whole time?"
"Yes."
Her lips made a fine, pressed line.
Now it was Chat's turn to say, "You're angry. Aren't you." It wasn't a question. It was an observation.
She held up a conspiratorial "wait a second" finger again and smashed a crystal paperweight onto the floor. The sound of breaking glass prompted Chat to say loudly, "Ladybug! Took you long enough to break through the right window. At yeast you're here now! Help me defeat Baker's Mania!"
"Neither of you scrawny heroes can defeat me!" Marinette cried dramatically. She picked up a clipboard and threw it at the door. It clattered to the floor and the class fell silent, waiting for the final showdown with bated breath. Marinette did not disappoint. "Oh no, not my rolling pin!" she yelped, slamming it onto the floor so it broke in two.
As the class gave muffled whoops of celebration, the two heroes faced each other, expressions becoming serious again.
"I'm…not angry at you," Marinette whispered. "I'm…embarrassed we had to find out this way. I'm embarrassed you didn't get someone better than me."
"I have the best partner around. Who are you kidding?" he smiled.
They could have kept talking for hours, but knew they didn't have the time to discuss it here and now. They were keeping the class waiting too long. It was time to end this akuma disaster.
"Thank you," Marinette sighed, staring down at her shoes. "Look. I think we should wait and talk about this in depth later, when we're actually alone. Right now, I need to clear my name, and fast. We, ah, have an audience still, and I'd like our meaningful discussion to not be this rushed. Can we bookmark this?"
"Yeah, you're right," sighed Chat. "Are we good, though? You and me?"
"We're good." She picked up the broken rolling pin and faced the door. "Okay, let's do this. Tikki, spots on!"
A small distance away in a dark, circular room, Hawkmoth turned on the news. He saw Chat Noir and Ladybug emerge from a classroom, waving and looking disgustingly victorious. The headline read "BAKER'S MANIA" VANQUISHED – ANOTHER AKUMA DEFEATED.
Hawkmoth sat forward in his chair and paused the TV, completely bemused.
"Nooroo, did I sleepwalk last night and akumatize someone without realizing it? Again?"
"N-no," stuttered the kwami.
"Then how can we explain Marinette Dupain-Cheng, who was just akumatized and defeated by Ladybug and Chat Noir? I didn't sanction this!"
After a few minutes of deep thought and staring at Marinette's frozen frame on the TV screen, the most likely explanation unfolded before him, and he began to smile.
"How interesting. Baking evidently isn't Ms. Dupain-Cheng's only extracurricular activity. Her Miraculous is as good as mine."
A week later, Adrien was finally akumatized. As a villain called Model Behavior, he sought to destroy half the wardrobe department at his father's office the night before a show. He was protesting the restrictive outfits and demanding more comfortable fabrics.
Luckily, Ladybug arrived just in time to defeat Model Behavior singlehandedly and save the priceless clothes. Chat Noir arrived late and proceeded to shelter Adrien from the publicity.
No one noticed anything out of the ordinary about the attack. But, then again, no one saw Adrien and Marinette do a knuckle-bump in the alley behind the Agreste mansion afterward either.
"Pound it," they said in unison.
"Our identities are safe for now," Adrien smiled. "I appreciate your help in planning my akuma attack, My Lady."
"Anytime," said Marinette, blushing pink. "I agree – it's nice to not have to worry as much about being discovered. Our alibis are foolproof - how could anyone be in two places at once? No one knows what we did or who we really are."
A small distance away, in a dark, circular room, Hawkmoth watched the two of them on his screen with narrowed eyes.
"Oh, but I do, Ladybug. I do."