Stimulus: captainally's review (it was too hilarious to ignore)
Spoilers: None
POV: Ianto
Dedication: To adipose man... also Mark, father of my future children ;)
-x-
"Ianto."
"Yes, Jack?"
"Hold it."
"Not now, Jack."
"Please?"
"I'm busy, Jack."
"Iantooooo... please hold it."
"No!"
"I'll feed Janet for a week."
"No, you won't."
"I will. I promise."
"Fine! Fine!"
"That wasn't so difficult, was it?"
"You're so - ugh! What's THAT? What's it doing?"
"Calm down! It's supposed to do that! ...I think..."
"What the HELL is this stuff? God, this is disgusting!"
"I'm - it's never done that before! Ianto! Ianto, come back! Ianto?"
That, thought Ianto as he marched off to wash his hands, was the last time he agreed to touch Jack's adipose.