Chapter 35

The throbbing pain in his arm and leg kept Kid awake, and through the night he barely managed to get the rest he needed, sleeping on and off. It was difficult to adopt a comfortable position. If he rested on his left side, the pain in his shoulder shot over the rest of his body; if he lay on his right flank, his leg practically screamed bloody murder; and if he rested flat on his back, he was just unable to get to sleep at all.

Tired of tossing and turning in bed, Kid decided to get up. It was early, and the translucent tone of the curtains hinted that the sun outside was timidly greeting a brand new day. Very slowly Kid managed to rise from the bed and limped to the window. Pulling back the drapes, the rider threw a look out, and his forehead creased into a frown when he spotted Lou dressed in pants and a shirt, riding Lightning into the property, apparently returning from somewhere. Louise saw him behind the window, and waved her hand in greeting. Kid awkwardly returned the gesture, and stood there, watching her jump off the horse and disappear into the house.

Where on earth had she gone to so early? Kid asked himself as he made his way back to the bed. His pants were dangling at the foot, and he grabbed them. His head kept wondering where Lou had been this morning as he tried to get his legs into his pants, but it seemed an impossible task to do. Last night he had been struggling for almost half an hour until he managed to peel them off, but apparently taking them off was easier than getting back in them. Tired and frustrated, he threw the pants on the bed when he heard a knock at the door, and Lou's head craned inside.

"May I come in?"

"Please," Kid replied, beckoning her to do so with a tilt of his head.

"How are you feeling this morning? Did you sleep well?" asked Lou as she stopped before him.

"Not really. I've been awake half the night," Kid complained morosely.

"And what are you doing out of bed then, Mister?"

"I need to get out of this room," Kid replied. "If I stay here one more minute, you'll see me going up and down the walls in frenzy."

Louise grinned. "Well, if you're a good boy, I might drive you to the station to see your little friends," she offered comically. "But first things first. Let's have a look at those wounds."

"Lou, you don't have to… I can do it myself."

"No protests, sir, or I won't let you out of here all day," she threatened with a teasing wink.

Louise then walked to the dresser, and filled the wash bowl with some hot water she had brought in a ceramic pitcher. Crossing back to where Kid was sitting, she left the wash bowl and fresh bandages on the bedside table. "Lou, may I ask you something?"

Louise turned her head, and sent him a curious glance. "Sure. What is it?"

"Where did you go this morning?"

"Uh… nowhere special. Just went for a quick morning ride," she replied vaguely as she damped a cloth in the hot water.

"You must've ridden out very early."

Lou smiled. "The earlier, the better," she simply said, and walked back to him. "Let me help you out of that shirt," she offered, sitting down next to him. Kid slightly opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. He had no arguments why she should not be doing this, because it was true he could not see to his own wounds himself, and the only reason why he did not want her to do it was his embarrassment.

Lou's finger undid the buttons and gently removed the shirt. Next came his long johns top, and then his naked middle appeared to her eyes. A blush crept onto her cheeks, and her gaze lifted to his momentarily as she smiled awkwardly. "Uh… let's get this done as soon as possible." After unwrapping the bandage around his left shoulder, Lou wrung out the cloth in the washbowl. Her left hand tentatively rested under his elbow while her right one approached his skin with the damp rag.

"Something wrong?" Kid asked when he noticed her hesitate.

Lou looked up, and her voice faltered when her eyes stumbled upon his. She suddenly realized he was too close… the closest he had ever been, and a shudder ran through her body. The soft aroma of their home-made soap on his skin wafted to her as well as his own, unique touch, and as her eyes kept staring at his for a few seconds, she noticed for the first time how deep his blue orbits were. His pupils looked like an explosion of blueness in all its infinite shades, and Lou felt strangely awed by the beauty she was admiring. They called on her. It was like looking into the sea where its immensity seemed to drown you, embrace you, welcome you.

Lou noticed his eyes stare at her in confusion, and pulling herself together, she muttered, "I… I just don't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry. I'm a tough man."

Lou nodded with cast down eyes, and her cloth-brandished hand dared to finally make contact with his skin. Dry blood was smeared over his shoulder, but Louise could hardly notice any of this. Her motions were almost robotic as she cleaned the wound, but her eyes and attention were totally focused on his skin and strong muscles. Strange images filled her head, images that she did not even want to acknowledge in fear. A tremor coursed all over her again while her face was blushing so much that she thought it would actually smoke. Lou tried to distract her mind, and drown the awkwardness she was feeling, but she could not. Her own thoughts betrayed her, and an overwhelming suffocation pressed her chest frightfully.

With a mixture of relief and longing, Louise finished wrapping the fresh bandage around his shoulder, and helped him into a clean shirt. Kid smiled in thankfulness, and without a single word, he pulled up the leg of his long john bottoms, revealing the second dressed wound on his thigh.

Lou gulped tensely, overcome by similar sensations. Her trembling fingers awkwardly unwrapped the cloth while her eyes tried not to look anywhere else. She could see that this injury looked worse than the one in his shoulder, and the hole where a bullet had been encased was visible. "Lou, are you sure you're all right?" Kid repeated his question, feeling that there was something strange in her behavior.

Lou nodded her head energetically. "It's… it's… it's just the blood that makes me a bit nervous, I guess," she lied.

"Pretty gross, huh?" Kid remarked wryly. "I can do this one myself. Don't worry."

"Don't be ridiculous. I can finish it," Lou replied in a low voice, and hanging her head low to hide her crimson face, she repeated the process as she had done with his shoulder. Her heart kept thumping, and she felt this time was worse than with his other injury. "Keep focused, keep focused, and just look at his wound," she repeated in her head over and over again, as her fingers clumsily cleaned and dressed the wound. Once again she was too aware that she was touching and stroking the naked skin of a man, and instead of feeling scared, these sensations were totally new to her. Her reaction, she pondered, was logical. What woman couldn't get nervous by doing the same? She was just nervous… just nervous. Even telling herself that she was just looking after Kid in the same way as a nurse behaved with a patient did not work. His closeness was too much, and she wondered why she could not remain calm.

"All done," she announced in a whisper, and if scalded, she jumped from the bed, putting a safe distance between her and Kid. Turning her back, she picked up the discarded bandages, and got ready to leave.

"Lou, thank you so much. You're an angel."

Lou nodded in silence, and dashed out of the room as if she could not breathe the same air as he did anymore. Once she closed the door, she heavily dropped her back against its surface, as if defeated, and let out the sonorous sigh she had chocked back all this time. Her heart rate decreased back to normal, her blushed face cooled down, and the goose bumps on her sensitive skin disappeared. Once again she sighed relieved, but almost at the same time a sudden thought struck her dreadfully, and in a whisper she hurled a question to the silent air, "How the hell am I gonna go through the same again tomorrow?

As Lou had promised, she drove Kid to the way station later that morning. On the way there Louise could hardly look her husband in the eye, and kept her attention focused on the road ahead. It was totally bizarre, but she could not shed the awkward sensations that she had experienced barely an hour ago. Whenever she turned to look at him, her mind filled with images of his strong, muscular chest, and Lou felt completely flustered.

The sight of the way station welcomed them, and Louise flapped the reins on the horse's back, spurring it into a gallop. Kid had to hold onto the seat firmly as the horse shot towards the station with such a speed that he thought he would fall off the wagon. "Are we in a hurry?" Kid asked in amusement.

"Uh… sorry," Lou muttered, and pulled at the reins again as the wagon arrived in the station yard. On spotting the carriage, the riders flocked from the porch to greet the couple, except Noah, who was on a ride. Jimmy instantly walked to Lou's side, and held his hand up for her to get off the wagon, while Kid stared at them annoyed, a look nobody noticed.

"How are you feeling, Kid?" Buck asked.

The Southerner forced himself to avert his eyes from Jimmy, and said, "Much better, thanks."

"Let us get you off there," Cody offered, and alongside Buck, he helped Kid down from the wagon.

Once on firm ground, Kid leaned against Cody's shoulder, and Lou approached them. "Isn't Marshal Hunter around?" she asked casually.

"He's in his office in town," Buck replied.

"Why do you ask?" Kid asked his wife curiously. "Do you need to see him for some reason?"

"Uh… no, not really," Louise answered awkwardly, blushing at drawing attention over herself. "I just wanted to thank him for keeping you safe like I thanked Jimmy yesterday."

After hearing her explanation, Kid stared at her in puzzlement. Somehow that did not sound like Lou at all, but like somebody else's wife… a concerned wife, and even though he knew she worried about him as a friend, there was something in her words that did not match. "He'll be back later," Cody replied. "Probably at lunch, sniffing after the scent of Rachel's cooking. The man's a glutton."

"Look who's talking…the pot calling the kettle black," Jimmy added, sharing an amused glance with Kid and Buck.

Cody lifted his chin proudly, and was about to retaliate against his friend's mocking comment, but Buck cut him off by turning to the young woman. "Lou, Rachel's in her house. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you, and she's much better company than all of us together."

Louise nodded, and briskly headed for the whitewashed house at the furthest extreme of the yard, leaving the boys behind. Her knuckles knocked at the glass-embedded door a couple of times before opening it a crack. "Rachel, it's me… Louise," she called loudly.

The station mistress's voice instantly sounded, coming from up the staircase. "Oh Louise… I'm in my bedroom upstairs. Please feel free to come up."

Lou obediently climbed up the stairs, and when Rachel saw her appear through the open door, she beckoned her to come in with a big smile. "How's Kid?" the woman asked after exchanging greetings with her young friend.

"Better, I think," Lou replied as her attention got drawn to the framed portrait Rachel was dusting.

The station mistress noticed where Louise's eyes were focused, and said, "This is my husband Henry… was my husband. He died."

"I… I'm sorry," Lou muttered awkwardly.

"Two years ago, but it seems like yesterday," Rachel sighed, running her index finger over her late husband's outline on the portrait. "His life was severed so, so unjustly," she added, and when Lou cast a questioning look, she continued, "He was killed defending my honor."

"Oh Rachel," Lou exclaimed horrified. "It must've been so hard for you." The station mistress nodded ruefully, and Louise dared to ask, "Were you two in love?"

"Very much," Rachel replied with a sad smile. "We were crazy about each other… just like it has to be."

Lou smiled awkwardly; her friend's words made her think about her strange marriage, but instead of lingering on what was missing, Lou brought to mind what had happened to her in Kid's bedroom, and she felt tempted to ask Rachel her doubts. It was more than embarrassing to think about it, let alone explain it, but she had nobody to talk to about it, and needed to say something. "Rachel, may I ask you a very personal question? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to."

Lou's mysterious tone intrigued Rachel. "Fire away then."

Louise looked down, a blush already coloring her cheeks, as she kept toying with her fingers. "When you were married… did you… did you… did you use to have impure thoughts about your husband?"

Rachel smiled at the girl's choice of words and her obvious shyness. "You mean carnal desire?" Lou nodded reluctantly, and Rachel said, "Sure I did… he was my husband, and I loved him."

"Logical," Lou muttered even though she was not sure what she was agreeing to.

"Not only did I feel that way about Henry, but other men as well… you know, physical attraction sometimes might not be linked to love. Otherwise, why would men frequent brothels?"

"But women are different," Lou objected.

"Don't deceive yourself, Louise. Both men and women have similar needs and feelings. We ladies are also human, and hot blood flows through our veins, but there's this ridiculous idea that honest women ain't capable of feeling passion, and enjoy it… just to make us feel guilty." Rachel paused to catch her breath after her enthusiastic tirade, and then added, "Why are you asking me, Lou? Are you having those impure thoughts, as you call them, about your husband?"

"No!" Lou exclaimed loudly, blushing and shocked. "No! No! Never! Of course not!"

"Maybe some other man? " Rachel dared to ask.

"Oh… no!" Lou repeated in an even louder tone, and her hands automatically flew to cover her flushed cheeks. "No! I… I couldn't do that… I… I'm just curious, that's all. I don't know much about these things."

Rachel smiled, feeling that Lou was not telling her the whole truth. "It's natural to feel curious," she agreed. "But please never be ashamed for feeling like a woman. It can be the most beautiful emotion anybody can have."

"I guess," Lou muttered. Silence settled between the two women, and after a few seconds, Louise said, "Shall we go see how Kid's doing?"

Rachel nodded, and as she was about to follow Lou, the blonde woman called the girl. Louise turned her head, a silent question in her eyes, and the station mistress spoke up. "I'm aware what you've told me, and I believe you. But if one day you feel those impure thoughts about Kid, don't smother them, or feel afraid to tell him. You're married to him after all. And even when you're not in love, it can be nice to feel somebody so close."

"Uh… thanks," Lou mumbled awkwardly, not sure what else to say to Rachel's odd suggestion. Hanging her head low in embarrassment as if hiding from Rachel her thoughts, she scurried out of the door, while the station mistress followed her, softly chuckling in amusement.

Rachel did not need to insist too much in order to convince the married couple to stay for lunch at the station. Actually, Louise quickly accepted the invitation as if she was expecting it. Like usual, lunch was an animated event as conversation flew, especially with Jimmy retelling everybody how Kid had been shot, toning down the story he had told the riders the night before for Lou's sake.

Unlike what Cody had said, Teaspoon had not shown up. So since his chair at the table top was much more comfortable than the backless bench where the riders sat, Kid had taken it today. Much to his chagrin, Lou had sat at the furthest end from him, which coincidently was next to Jimmy, but Kid told himself to stop imagining things. There was nothing there.

"Tired or bored?" Rachel asked when she noticed that Lou was yawning.

"I didn't sleep too much last night," Lou explained sheepishly.

"Then I hope you didn't spend the night cleaning," Kid pointed out.

Lou smiled amused, shaking her head. It was no wonder that Kid still remembered when he had found her cleaning the windows in the middle of the night. In truth, she shouldn't have bothered because despite her efforts to have the house perfect, her father had just seen only what he had wanted to see.

Lunch was almost over when the door opened, and Teaspoon walked in. Greetings were exchanged, and Rachel offered to heat the stew for him, but the marshal stopped her. "Don't worry. I ain't hungry. I had a bite in town." He paused briefly, and sighed. "It's been a crazy mornin'."

"Problems in town?" Jimmy asked.

The marshal shook his head. "Not in town. Somethin' new and unexpected has come up in the Mr. X business."

The riders' attention perked up instantly. "New clues?" asked Kid.

"Maybe… or maybe not," Teaspoon replied vaguely, which soared his audience's curiosity. "This very mornin' I found this letter on the floor of my office," he explained, pulling an envelope out of his breast pocket. "Somebody surely slipped it under the door."

"What's in it?" Buck asked this time.

"Rachel, would you read it aloud, please?"

"Sure," the station mistress replied, taking the envelope from the marshal. Her eyes lowered to the letter in her hands, and after clearing her throat, she started.

It has come to my attention that you are trying to track down a certain gunrunner that has caused trouble in this area for the last two decades. Do yourself a favor, and stop trying to do the impossible. You will never find out who your so-called Mr. X is. He is too protected, and even though many people make up his vast empire, only a few know his identity… a few men who will die rather than betray him… and me, who try to keep alive.

Hear me out in this. Destroy his people, and you will destroy his power. It is the only way.

So if you help me, I'll help you. It's a promise, but please stop looking for my family, and leave us alone.

"There's no signature," Rachel whispered when she finished reading the letter.

"What d'you think, boys?" Teaspoon asked, looking around the table, and briefly sharing an apologetic smile with Louise for bringing this matter up, and the young woman remained solemn and serious.

"Who's supposed to have written that?" Cody asked, voicing what all his fellow riders were also thinking.

"Your guess is as good as mine?" Teaspoon replied.

"Could it be Mrs. McCloud, the woman Mr. Harrison told us about? I imagine that the family that is mentioned there is hers," Kid stepped in.

"Or her children… they might be grown up now," Jimmy added. "Didn't Mr. Harrison mention a girl?"

Teaspoon nodded, and Buck carried on, "What I don't understand is how on earth whoever wrote that letter knows we're trying to locate Mr. X's family."

"That's a good question," Teaspoon admitted. "We came back just yesterday."

"Maybe this individual was in Willow Springs, heard about Mr. Harrison's incident, and followed us here."

"That doesn't make sense, Jimmy," Teaspoon differed. "We never said a word about what Mr. Harrison told us… not even the sheriff, and I doubt this person's related to the fella who killed Mr. Harrison."

"So you think the letter belongs to somebody from Rock Creek?" Jimmy asked skeptically.

"I dunno," Teaspoon said slowly. "I have no idea at all. Even if that were true, that still wouldn't explain how this person knows. Apart from us, only Colonel Adams from Fort Kearney, and Sheriff Woods from Fort Laramie are familiar with our plans. And I guess none of you have talked about this to anybody."

The riders shook their heads in unison while Rachel said, "You know I never mention your matters, Teaspoon."

The marshal's eyes shifted to Louise, which made her blush. "I… I know almost nobody in town."

Teaspoon smiled. "Yeah… silly me. Forgive me, but this business is drivin' me crazy."

Lou plastered an awkward smile on her face, which disappeared as soon as attention was drawn away from her. "And what does… uh… she… he… uh…?" Kid started, but Rachel cut him off.

"I think it's a woman. The writing definitely belongs to a lady," the station mistress remarked, running her eyes over the neat traces on the letter.

"I think so too," the marshal agreed.

"Or maybe it's a man, and he faked his handwriting," Cody added in a thoughtful stance.

Teaspoon sent the blonde rider a stop-making-things-more-complicated-than-they-are kind of look while saying, "So what were you sayin', Kid?"

"What does… she mean by 'if you help me, I'll help you'?"

"I was goin' down to that now," Teaspoon replied. "Apparently, if, like she says, we stop botherin' her family, she'll be ready to supply us with valuable information."

"What kind of information?" Buck inquired.

"About Mr. X's empire as she calls 'em," Teaspoon explained. "In the envelope there was another paper… an advance of what she means," he continued, showing the second scrap of paper. "There's a name… Albert Benson and a thorough account of the man's activities and history: dates, places, deeds he's been involved in… She even mentions the nicknames he's gone by over the years, addresses he might be found in, and people who know him."

"So he is one of Mr. X's men?" Cody asked.

"Seems so," Teaspoon replied. "With this information we might catch the fella easily."

Jimmy took the second paper from Teaspoon, and noticed a note at the bottom and read it aloud: "More to follow. Remember; if you're good to me, I'll be good to you."

"I guess she means she'll provide us with more information," Teaspoon muttered. "I don't know how or when."

"But what if this is a hoax? What if Mr. X's thugs are behind this strange letter? This is really weird," Buck suggested.

"Yes, I've thought about that possibility too, but if this is real, we can't pass on the opportunity. We'll just need to be extra careful, but I have the hunch we'll have to thank Mrs. McCloud or whatever her name is for what could take us forever to discover by ourselves."

"Won't you … won't you try to find out who's behind the letter?"

Teaspoon turned his eyes to the voice, surprised to realize that Louise was asking the question. "No," he replied firmly. "This woman went to a lot of trouble hiding her identity for a reason. Like she mentions in the letter, she might be in danger if some people get to know she's helpin' us. I do believe we should respect her wish for privacy, and be discreet about this matter."

"So are we gonna try to find this Albert Benson?" Buck asked.

Teaspoon smiled confidently as he said, "As soon as possible."