We kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
The sword is slicing through the questions so I won't be fooled
By his angel light..

-Sorrow, Flyleaf

ShiKai CH.35: No one sees the tears

Belief. It's the rarest and most treasured thing another human can do for another.

But I don't have it from you.

~*~

"Fifth Phase, Gesshoku." She said.

He leapt back.

"Third Phase Tsukisasu." He screamed when it made contact, shooting through his shoulder. It was his sword arm, it would seem he wasn't ambidextrous , she surmised, watching his black blade falter and tremble at the backlash that followed.

GA-SHAK.

He weakly parried in response, wrapping his bandaged right over the left, holding tautly the hilt. She smiled, that was the determination she wanted to see. Ever sweeter when it changed to despair-

Shock registered in his expression as she alighted.

So, fast?! It was written on his face.

But, like always he wasn't immune to the touch of her hand upon his cheek, the subtle urge of her fingertips easing his head down. Kei tilted her chin up, grazing his lips gently, lightly with a patience for his fumbling inexperience.

This was his first kiss after all and she wasn't about to let that idiotic Matsumoto push Inoue into taking it from her.

Even if it was a silver kiss meant to betray.

A moment later, she pulled away from the arms that had snaked up to embrace her.

Looking into his face, she was pleased to see confusion and another, deeper emotion. She shuddered at the depth of it, her cheeks flushing with the heat that seemed to have sprung from a coil in her belly. For a single second, she forgot what they were, where they were in the echoing room of the white palace.

She forgot the promise and simply wanted to be.

The desire was so strong that she was again, that girl. The one whom had played the piano and smiled with innocence because she was. Innocent. Not pretending to be.

The same girl who was in love-

-and happy because he loved her too -

Then it was gone.

"It's too late," Kei whispered to herself, her eyes screwing shut. She wasn't sure who she was trying to remind. Behind her eyelids, she sensed his shadow and movement, rough calloused palm extending toward her. Don't come any closer.

"Kei.." he said.

Don't taunt me..with something I can't have! "Sixth Phase.." Getsu-ten rose in her hand, her whisper left moistened lips. She halfway wished he wouldn't look at her. "Kagennotsuki."

The light pierced everything.

Bathing the entire room in moonlit night.

Then darkness fell.

Like the dark of the waning moon, it cast everything into shadow and took the sight of everyone who looked into its luminescence.

The change was almost imperceptible. Lowering the long black staff in her hands, the long chain of circular moons chinking as they sunk to the floor; Kei watched him fall to his knees, his face buried in his hands.

"I-I can't see?" he sounded confused, his head tilting up at the echoing sound of her footsteps approaching. "I'm sorry," she said, laying her hand once more on his face. His lips had been chapped, dry but warm and he had tasted faintly like strawberries.

Unconscious of the feeling within her own heart, she whispered again, "I'm sorry...Ichigo." And raised the half-moon scythe above her head--

~*~

He couldn't see. The sensation was frightening and confusing at the same time. Why had she--but then-- Ichigo couldn't wrap his head around it.

Why had she kissed him and then--then--

"It's too late." It was too late for what?

He raised his sightless face at the sound of her footsteps drawing close. He wanted to say he cared for her and it didn't matter what had happened in the past.

He didn't care about what Rukia-or what anybody thought. It had irritated him, the midget's challenging of his reasons for going after her. Why he was seemingly abandoning his friends for hers?

But he wasn't! Didn't they see that he too needed somebody?!

At least Renji had been supportive in his own way. Toshiro as well in the brief moment Rangiku had left the room with Inoue. Take care and good luck...with her.

Good luck because the little Taichou knew they wouldn't accept her?

For the first time, he began to become angry with them; Inoue, Rukia and Rangiku. Their prejudice was what was driving her away from him! That was why--

Momentarily he was distracted by the weight of her hand on his cheek. Even the proximity of her presence was soothing to him. Ichigo without hesitation, leaned into her touch. "I'm sorry," she said softly. He could smell the scent that was purely hers, charred and burnt things beneath a dampness that came from rain.

It was strange. He'd never noticed it before; the damp earth smell clinging to her skin. It nearly drove him mad, the slight caress and stroke of her thumb pad. "I'm sorry...Ichigo," her quiet voice came from above, but he wasn't disconcerted as her hand left his face. Only missed it when the cold rushed against his flushed skin.

"I...believe in you." he wasn't aware the words had slipped past his lips until they echoed quietly in the darkness. It just seemed right. "I'm sorry too, I said I believed in you, but I-I didn't..." he knew she was listening. "Open my heart to you."

Tentatively he reached out, his palms sliding against her legs. It was a strange sensation being blind. "Kei, a-*anata to issho ni itai."

(*Phrase means: I want to be with you)

~*~

I want to be with you.

Her breath caught, her hands shook. The equilibrium of the blade was tipped for a moment. How long had it been since someone had said that to her?

Years.

Centuries.

Not since--

She refused to allow her mind to speak his name.

How very different and yet alike they were.

Ichigo and he.

The corners of her eyes prickled, a moistness weighed down her lashes. Irritated, she longed to rub away the drop that threatened to fall. Tears weren't a weakness and yet...

...why was there this pain in her heart?

"So, um would you...walk with me out in the garden?"

"You do realize it's raining out there, right?"

"Yeah, so what?!"

"I thought you didn't like the rain."

"...I don't. But you do. So...I just thought we could go out there and you know maybe see those moon flower things that Shimizu said were going to bloom tonight."

Killing Ichigo would be like..killing him. All over again.

Because of her, her first love had died. It was as if she had plunged the spear into his body just as she had been lowering the sickle blade to Ichigo's neck.

"I can't...do it." The knowledge frightened her, that she had become so emotionally involved with Ichigo Kurosaki as to be unable to sever his life from his body.

She hated herself.

She utterly loathed the painful, aching emotion that swelled up like a cancerous growth in her body. Was this what he had felt? She was struck by this new, horrifying thought. Was that why he had submitted to the darkness to give into his want?

"Brother..." her voice barely disturbed the quiet. Ichigo nuzzled his face against her legs, his arms sliding up, curving around her waist. She could feel his heart hammering against her thigh. It was a very childish position. One meant to seek comfort as he finally laid his head against her middle.

"Ichigo..." she rested the tip of the Tsukuyomi downward, bending her body over his. Sliding her free hand through his orange hair, she felt his chest heave with a sigh. "You came," Kei cupped her palm against the back of his head, "and I'm glad." His chin tilted up at her words, she leaned in and brushed a kiss to his forehead, then slowly pulled back, whispering against his lips, "but I'm not good for you, Ichigo."

She slanted her mouth against his, thrusting her tongue deeply into the hot, wet cavity.

~*~

It was passionate. If she had allowed herself admittance or even thought. She would've known that what she felt was passion and that like him as deep as his resolve went, that they were alike.

Strong personalities and passions possessed them both.

Even if it was the burning of deep-seated hatred that consumed her and the desire to protect that drove him.

~*~

Kei let go.

Like always, she let go first.

Too much, she knew, too much of him and she would lose sight of what was most important again. She had almost lost all reason and now strove to regain it.

Everything....

She stepped back, he fell forward, palms meeting the cold floor.

Rests...

"Kei?" he sounded almost scared. "Don't worry, I'm right here." She replied, her voice steady.

On..

"Where? I can't see you!" Ichigo turned to the left then right, but of course unable to see her standing there. "I'll always be with you," she said quickly.

This.

And plunged Getsu-ten's shikai blade into her side.

~*~

The blackness left his vision. Blinking the last vestiges away, he stared at the lines of the tile before raising his head, filling his sight with her body falling, her hand sliding from the hilt.

"Kei!!!"

~Hueco Mundo~

Mara laid her hand above the dark-skinned human's brow, brushing aside curly brown locks. "Kokyuu Suchi-ru," she said quietly, identifying his asphyxiated state. Kotoko looked upon with her with thinly veiled disgust, "I suppose you must revive this one too?"

Her reply was merely a narrowed glance, her hand dropping to the gourd at her hip. "My orders come first before my feelings. However, bitter they are, I must place them aside as you must, Kotoko."

The fourth General pursed his thin lips, his look like a petulant child that had been reprimanded. Mara disregarded his discontent as unimportant. Her own lip curled slightly, the gesture of repugnance her one show of rebellion to the commandment given to her. Unstopping the gourd, she lowered it to the human's mouth.

The trickling of a few droplets was all the sound heard for a time. She kept count, her lips silently moving.

Then she felt it.

No, they both did.

A reiatsu fading away. Dying in the distance.

Kotoko's eyes widened, his gaze swiveled toward the fifth tower in the compound. "It-it's.." his voice shook, "..my lady!" and broke at the end of the sentence.

Mara's eyes filled, her head dropped. "It's alright..it can't be.."

She was startled by his hands grabbing her shoulders, the gourd shook and droplets splashed the sand.

"Damn you!" Kotoko spat then thrust her away. "If you won't go then I will!"

She spun toward him only to find he had vanished from sight.

"Damn him," Mara swore quietly. But deep in her heart, she wasn't quite sure whom she was speaking of.

~Tsukikage Castle~

"Somebody made this." Takara said, gently easing the frail cream-colored flyleaf over. Rizu, despite her previous qualms peered the back of the armchair the blond Lieutenant had sat in. "It appears so," Rizu commented, studying the faded ink characters written in a fine hand. "That looks..."

"Familiar?" Takara finished with a faint smile. Kyou tilted his head, his brow furrowing at the name, "hey, isn't that..."

"Keiko's writing. It is...this must've been hers a long time ago."

~ Subconscious realm where the spirits reside ~

"You..." Soryu growled.

Kyokasuigetsu stared unrepentantly back into the snarling face of the Dragon of the sea.

"I am...done here." It said, slithering across the darkness, a light blue sheen reflecting off its scales.

"She sent you...didn't she?"

The Zanpaku-to spirit of mirage and illusion, flicked a forked pink tongue in a soft hiss to the Dragon, "I do not know what it is you are insinuating, Soryu-Kami."

"Yamamoto Keiki!"

~*~

'That's quite a technique you have there,' the white tiger purred, his massive paw hooking around the snake's slippery body, 'did she...heighten it for you?'

~Assiah Eastern coast~

"Take care of herself..that's not at all what I meant!" he buried his face in his hands, obscuring the beauty and raw power of the surf from his eyes. "Sorry..." his jaw muscles tightened, his breaths became ragged, shallow. "I was there...I knew but I couldn't!" He flung his hands to the sea imploringly, "I tried! Gods, I tried! But I-I..."

~*~

Failed.

The ground was cold beneath her cheek. Sand-colored tresses spilled over her face, clinging to her lips. "Koto..ko." she said. Don't. The silent step of the last of the thirteen was like a hammer falling to the bell.

Our death knell.

"Ple..ase. Run..Kotoko!" her voice was lost to the murmuring cry of the carnage around her. Wind to her left, moaned for the unbearable pain of his shattered bones. Ashura, tenth of the thirteen, choked in the ruin of his own insides. Mara...dear sweet Mara breathed shallowly, her fingertips pressing to Shigekuni's, her lips moving, repeating a spell to save his life.

I am a failure.

"Kirikorosu, Mozu no--"

She was lifted, dangling before earth as a broken shield.

"N-No!" In vain she twisted against the tendrils of Aka Bara. Sixth's face weakly registered loathing to the man behind her but could do nothing to stop his power being manipulated in such a way.

"Would you, Four, now have Mizuna become your sacrifice?" The cruel amusement in his voice sickened her. Kotoko, she saw was wavering, the hand that had reached for the curved handle halted then slowly dropped to his side. "Kotoko..no..no, not for me, please." It was useless pleading. The Generals had sworn to protect and serve the elements below their lords and though one of the two before him was now an enemy he had been ordered to restrain; the other his conscience wouldn't allow more harm to follow.

Earth smiled; the tension slowly draining from his body.

He had been worried.

No, afraid.

Afraid of Kotoko's power...

"Only you can defeat him! Please! Kotoko, ignore me! Finish him! Do it now! Please!!!"

~*~

Slowly Kagami lowered his hands from his eyes.

Where had that come from? The Quincy boy hadn't been--

His gaze dropped to the sword of water leaning against the boulder he sat on.

"What have I--"

~*~

The fan flicked lazily back and forth over her face, the tendrils of dark coffee colored hair sweeping ticklish over her forehead and sometimes into her eyes.

"I love her, Kazahaya." He wore a black coat, cut wide, so that the sides hung back. A cutaway coat, it would be called now. But then it had no name, thought Wind, on his lips the words he knew must be spoken. "She is your sister."

"I've loved her so much," he continued as if he hadn't heard, "ever since I lay as Mara and Ashura once did. Deaf, sightless and without life."

"She created you. It is a sin!" Hissed Wind ever more urgently.

"It is wrong to love the one who gave you life?"

The question stilled Wind's vehemence for a time, unable to answer yet unable to forsake the commandment given to him, he tried again and Earth did not hear him.

Ever.

"Yes, we all love Keiki, but it is a soul love. An affection born of our shared bond. You must--"

Again.

The ground shook. "Among the humans it is customary to consummate your love by physical copulation..."

He...he's...Wind started back.

Spears shot up from the land impaling him.

"Brother Kazahaya," solemn eyes of dark earth turned and laid themselves on Wind's pierced and bleeding form. "I do not love Keiki as you do. I love her as a woman and I will do anything to possess her."

Insane.

~*~

Kazeatari snapped her fan shut and rested the closed edge against her forehead.

If she truly thought about it, the one who most resembled...

"Damn..." she smiled unwittingly up at the blue sky above her.

She really had messed up big time, hadn't she?

~To be continued~

AN: thanks for reading :)

No flames-haters-stupid comments!

Reviews appreciated! ^^