After visiting hours ended Gibbs headed back to his place. If he could get Abby to stay with Sadie. He was planning on staying at the hospital but he wanted everything to be ready for Tony's homecoming. He didn't want to jinx it but Dr. Pitt had told him to prepare for Tony to go home the next morning. He had been home the night before but when he opened the door this evening. It all came rushing back. The horrible memories of coming home to find Senior slamming Tony's head into the coffee table. The sounds of Sadie and Breena's cries. Of waiting for news on Tony in the hospital and finding out that he was in a coma. Jimmy tearfully telling him that Breena had lost the baby as a result of Senior's attack. Tony's heart stopping. Getting the call from Leon that Sadie was gone and Jared had been attacked. Jimmy calling him in a panic the next day and telling him that Breena was gone. What he saw in the shed. Shooting Senior dead. Breena's injuries and the doctors finding the tumor. Now to top it all off she had an infection. He didn't even want to think what would happen if she died. Jimmy would fall apart and Tony would blame himself. Gibbs instantly regretted going into the living room. The dried blood dripping on the coffee table and the pool that had formed at the base. He hadn't noticed it the day of the attack but there was a large dried pool of blood where Breena had been sitting. His stomach lurched and as hard as he tried to fight it. He threw-up all over the carpet. He fell to the floor crying his eyes out. He was so flipped out he didn't even notice when Abby returned with Sadie.

"Gibbs?" Abby asked.

"Abby?" Gibbs asked voice cracking.

"What's wrong?" Abby questioned.

"Put Sadie in her room first." Gibbs replied.

"She's asleep." Abby whispered.

"I don't care put her upstairs." Gibbs replied.

Abby did as she was told and put Sadie in her room. She could not get over how much the little girl looked like Tony. She even had tiny girly version of Tony's laugh. She hoped that he would be able to keep himself out of trouble until well after she was grown up and had a family of her own. After tucking Sadie in, she went downstairs and found Gibbs who had moved over to the couch. He sat with his hands on his knees and his eyes fixed straight ahead.

"OK Sadie's in bed. Now what's bothering you?" Abby questioned.

"I just got overpowered by the blood and the memories of the past few days." Gibbs explained.

"Oh Gibbs." Abby replied.

"Can you watch Sadie? I don't think I can be here tonight." Gibbs replied.

"Oh of course!" Abby cried.

"Thanks Abbs." Gibbs replied kissing her on the cheek.

"Hey it's no problem really." Abby assured.

"If Sadie needs me call the hospital and tell them you are calling for Agent Jethro Gibbs. They will find me." Gibbs explained.

"Of course and don't worry this will all be cleaned up when you bring Tony home." Abby assured.

The fourth time Tony woke up he was alone. He looked at the clock and saw that it was almost eight at night. Visiting hours had ended and Gibbs probably had gone home. He looked over at the shelf by his bed and saw that McGee had dropped off his laptop. He figured he would check out Facebook. See what his friends had been up to while he was in his coma. If anybody even cared what had happened to him. He saw several messages on his wall. Mainly a couple from the gang at NCIS saying how glad they were that he had woken up. The others were from his friends from Ohio State, Baltimore, Peoria, Philadelphia, and the outside world, asking how he was doing. It felt good to know that people actually cared about him. His good feeling went away in an instant. When he went to his news feed and saw a post from Jimmy. Breena had a nasty infection and had been moved to the ICU. Breena could be dying and it was all his fault. He didn't deserve medical treatment and support. He deserved to be dead. Why hadn't Senior just killed him? Why had Gibbs come just in time? If he had come just seconds later. He would be dead but Gibbs would have been able to keep Breena and Sadie safe. He switched off his heart monitor, unhooked his machines, and left his hospital room. Leaving behind only a quick note addressed to Gibbs. He was going to give Senior what he wanted and die. Gibbs would miss him for a while but eventually he would realize that he wasn't worth his time and devote himself to raising Sadie. To not be a useless piece of garbage like he father. He found himself downstairs in the hospital chapel. He fell into one of the pews and let his tears fall.

"God please just let Breena be OK. Jimmy loves her so much. It's me that he and everybody else can live without." Tony prayed.

Gibbs knew as soon as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. That something was extremely wrong. He just prayed that it wasn't Tony this time. He did not think that he could handle anymore drama with his boy. Not now not ever really. He knew as soon as he stepped through the sliding doors that it was Tony. He tried to ignore the look of pity on the receptionists face when he signed in and headed up to Tony's room. Tony's floor was swarmed with police officers and security. One of the nurses was crying and Dr. Pitt looked like he had been punched in the stomach.

"What's going on?" Gibbs asked.

"Gibbs" Dr. Pitt whispered.

"What's wrong Brad?" Gibbs questioned.

"Nurse Carmen went to check on Tony and he was gone." Dr. Pitt explained.

"What?!" Gibbs demanded.

"We found this. It's addressed to you." Dr. Pitt replied handing Gibbs the note.

"What is it?" Gibbs asked.

"I think it's a suicide note." Dr. Pitt replied.

Gibbs's hands shook as he opened Tony's note to him. He hoped that everybody was wrong. That Tony had just checked himself out and this was his discharge papers. He would not put it past Tony to sneak out like that. Once he actually read the note he knew that he was mistaken.

Dear Boss,

This note is for everybody but I thought I would address it to you. I am sorry that it has come to this but I have caused too much harm. If Breena dies from this I killed her. I don't want Sadie to have to grow up fearing for her life because of me. Don't blame yourself. You were the best dad a guy could ask for. It is me I am a failure. Make sure Sadie knows that I love her."

Love your son Tony.

A/N: What will happen when Gibbs finds Tony? Will he find him in time? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.