Chapter 32

Usual Standards

I don't know if it had been so long since I was pregnant with Jonathan that I simply forgot how bad it was, or if perhaps this time around it was just worse, but morning sickness was kicking my bum.

Majorly.

I couldn't eat anything more than a few crackers or some dry toast. I was so hungry. But even walking by the Great Hall made me sick. Poppy's tonics did little to assuage the feeling. As such, my temper was on a very short fuse. Add to that the additional hormones and everyone was pretty much as miserable as I was.

22 January 1997

I looked up from the first year essays I was grading. My eyes grazed over the goblet that had been suddenly placed on my desk; it was filled with a potion that for once was not making my stomach churn at the smell of it. My eyes continued to follow up a set of black robes, down a long hooked nose, and to the black beady eyes of Snape.

"What is that?" I asked.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Even with your abysmal skills, I still thought you would recognize a potion when you saw it."

My eyes narrowed to thin slits.

"Trying to poison me? June not soon enough for you?" I pushed the goblet back his way. "I think I'll pass."

"If I wanted to poison you, you wouldn't know it was me." He pushed the goblet back across the desk. "Drink."

I sat back in my chair and gave him my full attention. "You must have hit your head harder than we thought when Harry blocked your spell." His eyes darkened dangerously. "Oh yes, I know about that. He sent you flying across the classroom and through your own desk from what I hear."

He slammed both his hands on my desk and leaned towards me, but I didn't flinch.

"That pompous, arrogant, fool can't block his mind. He'll never be as good as he thinks he is."

"Careful, Professor. You wouldn't want to under estimate a Potter…again."

He stood straight again and sneered. "I've done my part. Now, unless Dumbledore wishes me to force feed…"

"Dumbledore? Dumbledore asked you to brew this?"

"Well surely you didn't think I came here out of the kindness of my heart?"

"You'd have to have kindness there first… and a heart. Why did Dumbledore ask you to do this? What's it supposed to be?"

"It's for your…illness." He scowled.

"I. Am not. Ill. I'm pregnant." His scowl deepened. "And Poppy has already given me tonics."

"And they're not working."

"They work well enough. I don't need this."

I pushed the goblet his way again and stood. I meant to take the essays to a filing cabinet for safe keeping, but after only two steps I became short of breath and my knees buckled. I stumbled into a shelf, knocking a few books over, and dropping the scrolls.

"Yes. Clearly they're working wonders."

Having regained my balance and my breath, I pushed myself off the wall and took a few steps towards him.

"Am I to believe then, that you're simply the loyal puppet doing the Master's biding? Which master are you serving this time?"

"You insufferable, arrogant, pretentious…"

"Pretentious? Me?"

"Yes; you're as pretentious as your brother…"

"I know it wasn't just Rosier and Mulciber on the tower that night!" I shouted suddenly, cutting him off.

"What?"

We'd slowly been inching towards one another, but now he took a step back. And I took in a deep breath.

"I know it wasn't just Rosier and Mulciber on the tower the night they attacked me. There was a group of them. Now, you may not have been among them…I would have recognized the foul stench…but I bet damn well you knew who was, and you said nothing. Nothing. I can forgive you holding your tongue when it was simply me; I was the sister of the enemy after all. But what about Ruth, a quiet Hufflepuff? Or Janice? Emily? Brittany? Kari? Or any of the others. What did they ever do to you? What did they do to deserve such treatment?"

There was a ringing silence and a pulsing throb in my head.

"I am sure this potion will perform to your usual standards, for the same reason the Wolfsbane worked so well for Remus, because you can't brew anything to less than perfection. But I want nothing from you, Snape. So just…leave, and take that with you."

I looked away from him to swipe at the tears that had started to fall, but I could hear him doing as I asked. He took the goblet and began to leave. Then he stopped at the door.

"Knott, McNair, Carrow…" he listed about a dozen names I recognized as Slytherins that were all in school while we were. Some were older, some were younger.

"They were led by Avery. As far as I'm aware, no one was ever targeted because they deserved it. It was just a matter of convenience."

And then he left for good. He didn't try again, but the next day Madam Pomfrey came to see me. She had a new tonic for me to try that smelled remarkably similar to the one Snape made; I drank it easily. And when I was able to grace the Great Hall without getting sick, Snape and I both pretended as though his visit had never happened.

XXX

February was fairly uneventful for me. The new tonic made the morning sickness more manageable, and by mid-February it faded out entirely. It felt so good to be able to eat again. I lost quite a bit of weight in January, but I began putting it back on in February.

I could feel other changes in my body begin to occur as well. I had to make a few minor adjustments to my clothes, though it still wasn't an obvious showing.

Jonathan restarted the Animagus process in January. When the full moon in February came around, it was a clear night so he proceeded on to the next step. He was now back to his daily meditations while he waited for an electrical storm. He could now feel a second heartbeat during his mediations.

With Poppy's assistance, I could hear a second heartbeat too and I cried when I did.

XXX

March, however, had a dark beginning.

I was in the hospital wing for my weekly checkup with Poppy and listening to the baby's heartbeat, when Slughorn rushed in. His cheeks were red and he was panting rapidly.

"Hur…hurry…b-boy, Welenby…"

"Welenby?" Poppy asked.

"Weslenby?" he looked a little confused. "You know, the Gryffindor boy. Very talented sister. Friends with Potter."

"Weasley? Ron Weasley?" I asked, sitting up and dropping the spell.

"Yes! Yes! That's the one. Quickly, he's been poisoned. In my office."

Madam Pomfrey hurried after Professor Slughorn without further hesitation. Meanwhile, I went about trying to get things ready for her. I prepared a bed and summoned the things she might need. When she returned a little while later, Professor McGonagall was with her and Ron was laid out on gurney before them. At the sight of Ron laying unresponsive, I became highly emotional. I knew I would be no help in that state, so I left to wait for Molly and Arthur.

Ron had a very unlucky birthday. He woke up, ate some chocolates laced with an old love potion, and had to be taken to Slughorn for an antidote. Slughorn cured the effects of the potion easily. Then he tried to offer Ron a pick-me-up, an old bottle of mead. It was inside the mead that Ron came in contact with the poison. Had it not been for Harry's quick actions in shoving a bezoar down his throat, then Ron might have died.

4 March 1997

I was being summoned to the Headmaster's. I can't remember the last time I was really summoned. I'd accompanied him back to his office a few times while we were talking, and I'd gone to see him on my own. But to be truly summoned…to have a letter drop on the table before me while I was eating, to see his old, elegant script asking to see me at my "earliest convenience"… that hadn't happened in quite some time.

I may not remember the last time I was summoned, but I do remember the first.

4 September 1971

"Huh!" I gave a little gasp and dropped the letter into my eggs as though it suddenly burned.

"Kate? What… Is that a letter from the Headmaster?" James asked.

I nodded. "He…he… he wants me to come see him…in his office."

I was immediately filled with a sense of dread. What if he realized there had been some mistake? What if I wasn't meant to be at Hogwarts?

"I don't even know where his office is," I said desperately, as though that would somehow get me off.

"It's on the third floor, behind a large griffin gargoyle. You give it the password and it reveals a staircase up to his massive office," the boy, Sirius Black, said.

Black was one of James' dormmates, and they were quickly becoming friends. So Black, and the other boys in the dorm, Lupin and Pettigrew, often sat with us at meals and in class.

"You've already been to see the Headmaster?" I asked in disbelief. What sort of friends was James making?

"Sure did," he said, sounding proud. "Do you remember that Howler I got first day?"

"It was awful."

"It was expected after my sorting. Ole Dumbles called me up to see how I was doing. It's like that Hagrid bloke says, he's a good man, Dumbledore."

"But why does he want to see me? I haven't received a Howler."

"And you're not likely too, either. Mum and Dad love you," James said. His tone softened when he realized his flippant one wasn't helping. "Look, maybe it's about that…other thing you told me at the feast? Maybe he's found out something new."

My eyes widened, and I looked quickly towards the other boys. They didn't know about the fire, or my hospital stay, or that I was even adopted. I caught Lupin's green eyes, but he quickly looked away.

"But…but how could he have?" I whispered, leaning into James. "It's been nearly two years. I… I thought they were… How?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Would you like me to come with you?"

I shook my head quickly and he raised his eyebrows in question. I nodded slowly.

"Maybe…just to the gargoyle?"

"Alright, mates, you heard the girl. We're escorting her to the Headmaster's gargoyle."

"What!" I exclaimed as both James and Black jumped up. "I…I didn't mean the lot of you."

"Well… look at it this way," Lupin began a little hesitantly. "Peter and I aren't escorting you; we're tagging along to make sure these two don't get into trouble while they wait for you."

"We are?" Pettigrew squeaked while Black laughed.

"Good luck with that. Now…" He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "Onward my fair damsel in distress."

I pulled my hand from his. "I am not a damsel in distress."

I smiled fondly at the memory as I climbed the staircase. Dumbledore, of course, hadn't summoned me to tell me I didn't belong, nor did he have any new information for me; he merely wanted to know how I was adjusting. I wondered what he could be summoning for this time. Had the pregnant hormones gone a step too far without my realizing it? Or had something happened to…

I took the last few steps up at a faster pace. And I hardly waited to be welcomed in after knocking. I just barely caught sight of a head of sandy blonde hair speckled with grey before I was wrapped in the familiar scent of mint chocolate.

"Remus." I breathed him in. "Are you all right?"

He chuckled lightly. "Fine. And you?"

"I'm… fine; I… When the Headmaster asked to see me, for a moment I thought…"

"My apologies, Professor Lupin," Dumbledore said. Remus and I pulled apart. "It was not my intention to cause you alarm."

"It's alright, Sir; I understand. So why did you ask to see me?"

"Simply for this. In light of recent events, the cursing of Miss Bell and the subsequent poisoning of young Mister Weasley, it occurs to me that Hogwarts could do with a bit of extra security. So, I have called upon a few Order members to help patrol at night. Mr. Lupin, here, is among those who have agreed to help."

I cast a curious and excited glance at Remus; he was smiling. Did this mean I would get to see him more often?

"Now, the others have homes and families to return to. However, since Mr. Lupin's family is here, I thought…" The Headmaster held up his hands and shrugged. Then he smiled.

My excitement grew a little more.

"This is under the explicit understanding that your quarters are to be treated like your home. What happens there, stays there, and it is not to be displayed about the castle."

"Oh! Of course not, Sir. I would never…we would never… We'll be completely professional about it all. You have my word."

"I know you will be. Now, if you'll both excuse me. I have some other business to attend to."

"Of course, Professor, and…thank you."

Remus and I left the large office together. His hand was on my upper back as he guided me through the door, and it spread warmth through my whole body. He was here! He was really here! I thought we were going to have to wait months to see each other, but he was here!

Apparently, he had similar thoughts, because the first secret passage we came to, he took my hand and pulled me behind the large tapestry. There, in the dark, he let his lips ravish mine. I could slowly feel myself slipping to a point of no return.

"Hmm… this…" I pulled back slightly and lit my wand. "This is precisely what Dumbledore told us not to do."

"I know, I know, but… You can't really blame me, not when you look as radiant as you do."

"Radiant? Alright, Mr. Flatterer, there's no need for all of that."

"I'm not trying to flatter you; it's the truth. You've always been beautiful, Kate, but when I saw you in the Headmaster's office a moment ago, you took my breath away, quite literally. And now, here you are, with tussled hair and red cheeks…"

"My cheeks are red because you just snogged me in a secret passage like we were sixteen."

"Yeah I did. And I'm about to do it again."

He did just that and I did nothing to stop him. I relished in the feel of him pressed against me. I beckoned him closer as I pawed desperately at his cloak. I was hungry for more of him, and that's when I knew I had to do the impossible.

I pulled back again.

"We can't do this here."

"What do you say we take this back to our quarters then?" he proposed suggestively.

"Abs… Actually, I've got a better idea."

"Hmm… then I can't wait."

I kissed him quickly before smoothing out my hair and peeking around the tapestry.

"It's clear; come on."

Remus was straightening his robes and his hair, oops, when he left the passage way.

"How do I look?"

"Like you're worthy of another snogging, but I really can't kiss you right now."

"Why not?"

"Because…" I eyed him hungrily. "I won't be able to stop myself a third time."

He smirked proudly. "Glad to know I still have this effect on you."

"Mmm-hmm," I agreed. "I want to be eighty and still not be able to keep my hands off of you. So… How long have you known about this?" I asked as we began walking.

"Only long enough to pack a few things and get here."

"And Jonathan?"

"Doesn't know yet. I didn't want to risk him spoiling it for you, or taunting you with it more likely. Why are you taking me to the hospital wing?"

"You'll see," I said with a grin.

"Professor Lupin," Ron said, sitting up in bed.

"Good evening, Mr. Weasley," I replied.

"Oh! Er—yeah…"

"Oh? I think that was meant for you."

"How very astute of you," Remus said. "How are you feeling, Ron?"

"Er—All right, you know. Bored."

"Oh? Eager to get back to class already? I'd be happy to speak to Madam Pomfrey for you," I said.

"No! Arrrgh," he moaned rather unconvincingly. "Best to stay here until she releases me. Just to be safe, you know."

"Ah, yes, of course."

Ron nodded and made a great show of lying down in pain. Although, why his leg seemed to be hurting so much, I'm not sure.

"Did I hear my name? Oh, Kate, Remus, how can I help you?"

"Hi, Poppy. Can you do for him what you do for me?"

For just a second she seemed confused, and then she smiled.

"Take a bed."

I grabbed Remus' hand and eagerly pulled him back a few beds. While Poppy pulled the curtains to, I sat on the bed and pulled my blouse up to my chest.

"Wow, you're… Wow."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I gave Remus the warning eye.

"Beautiful. You're beautiful. Very beautiful. Like always."

I smiled. "And I have a pregnant bump."

"A very small bump. Hardly noticeable at all."

"But you acknowledge there is a bump?" I frowned.

"What bump?" he asked with wide, pleading eyes.

"Oh stop messing with the boy," Poppy said as she came back around the curtain.

I laughed. "But it's so much fun."

Remus rolled his eyes and relaxed in his seat. "Fun for you maybe."

Madam Pomfrey began spreading a cool cream over my bump.

"Wand," she directed at Remus. He handed it over with a puzzled expression, and she rubbed some of the cream on the tip of his wand. Then she did the same to mine.

"Now, place it on her abdomen and say, 'audire.'"

Remus and I said the word together, Remus with a little more apprehension than me. Our ears were suddenly filled with a whooshing sound as though the wind was rushing by us. Then all at once everything around us was muted and we heard only one distinct sound.

Lub-dub.

Lub-dub.

Remus still looked confused, and I watched as that confusion was wiped away.

"Is that… is that…?" He covered his mouth with his other hand. His eyes glistened with tears. I nodded.

"That's our baby." I had tears in my own eyes.

"You were right. This…this is better."

He took my hand and squeezed it. And the two of us sat there, listening to our baby's heartbeat.

10 March 1997

I'd been waking up in Hogwarts next to Remus for nearly a week now, and it was amazing. The morning of his birthday was perhaps the best, as it was the first birthday we'd spent together in nearly eighteen years… And we had a little extra surprise.

Remus moaned as he moved closer to me. He placed light kisses on the back of my neck and shoulder. I smiled at the contact before rolling over to meet his lips with mine.

"Good morning," he said with a moan, his hands running down my back.

"Happy Birthday," I replied, leaning in to give him another kiss.

"Hmm… So it is, isn't it? In that case…"

He kissed me deeply and slowly. Then he rolled me onto my back before making his way down. He stopped just below my navel to kiss the bump.

"Good morning, my little Starlight."

"Starlight?" I questioned.

"Well, moonlight doesn't really reflect positive images for me, but the stars have always reminded me of you. It seemed appropriate."

"You better hope this is a girl then, because I doubt a son will want to be called Starlight."

He laughed, sweet and low. It was a sound that usually made my heart soar. This time, it did something else as well.

"Oh!" I placed hand on my stomach.

"What? What is it?" He sat up in a panic.

"Relax, Remus. Nothing is wrong. Just… give me your hand and talk to the baby again."

I took his hand and pulled him back down. He looked hesitant.

"Trust me, please. Just talk to the baby."

I placed his hand on my stomach as he began talking again. It didn't take long for that same feeling to occur. And Remus' eyes lit up as he felt it too.

"It appears this baby of ours likes the sound of your voice as much as I do."

"Oh? Is that so my little Starlight? Are you saying hi to your Daddy?"

The baby kicked again and Remus chuckled.

"Best. Birthday. Ever," he said, smiling up at me.

"Hmm… I bet so. But, ohh… You're going to have to help me sit up now. This position is starting to hurt my back."

As the week progressed, I could see the usual physical signs of the approaching moon, but Remus' temperament was very different. Between listening to the baby's heartbeat and feeling the baby move, Remus' spirits remained high. In fact, I'd never seen him so jubilant before a full moon. And in the excitement of having him around and watching him bond with our unborn child, I didn't stop to ask what he was doing for the moon. It wasn't until we received a visitor at our suites one night just before the moon that the unasked question was answered.

15 March 1997

Remus and I were just sitting down for dinner in our suites when there was a knock on my door. I opened it only to have the smile instantly wiped from my face. Snape was standing there with his usual scowl and holding a rather large goblet.

"Ah! Severus, thank you," Remus said as he came up beside me and accepted the goblet.

I recognized the smell as soon I got a whiff of it: Wolfsbane. Fortunately the urge to be sick at every foul smell had passed, otherwise I probably wouldn't have eaten dinner.

"Another one of Dumbledore's requests?" I asked.

"More like another one of his…inconveniences," he replied.

"You're usual standards, I presume? Because I will know."

His lips twitched but he said nothing before he turned to leave.

"What was that all about?" Remus asked, wiping the last bit of foam from his lips.

I smiled. "Nothing. It was nothing."

Remus looked skeptical. "Still think he'll try to poison me with the potion?"

"Nope. Not anymore."

"Oh? And why the change of heart?"

Remus, of course, didn't know about the potion that Snape may or may not have, but most likely did, make for me that eased my morning sickness. And he wasn't going to know about it either.

"Because," I smirked. "He knows that if he did, then he'd have to face my wrath. And he knows he can't contend with that. Now, come on, eat before I eat it all."

Yes. There it is. A new chapter. It feels like it's been forever. Sorry to keep you waiting, but thank you all so much or understanding. And thank you for all the well wishes for my husband. He is back home and back at work, as am I. And I'm back to writing again. I tried, but I just couldn't do it in the hospital. I spent all day watching Law and Order, Psych, and CSI marathons on tv.

As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think!