Chapter 31 the comeback of family crazy time

A few minutes of chatting animatedly, the Cullens arrived. Alice was the most excited one to come in the door with jasper trying to calm her down.

"Hey everyone! Ohhh!! Bella, I missed you so much!!" Alice practically ran towards me and sat on my lap. Well, more like jumped on my lap while I'm still sitting on Edward's.

"Oww!! Alice!!!" Edward said painfully while the rest of us laughed at him. Alice got off of me and I tried to get off of Edward seeing that his manhood was in pain but he grabbed my waist.

"Babe, it'll hurt even more if I sit on your lap." I giggled.

"It's okay; as long as you're here I'll be fine." I smiled down at him and kissed his cheek.

Carlisle and Esme then walked in, hand in hand. I smiled at the lovely couple and went over and hugged them both.

"Carlisle! Esme! It's so good to see you!" I exclaimed.

"Bella, so good to see you too." Es me replied while hugging me tightly.

"Guys!! I would like you to meet Rick. He's our talent manager." I introduced Rick to the rest of the Cullens and vice versa.

After the introductions, Zon came out from the kitchen carrying several wine glasses and 3 gallons of animal blood. Everyone settled on their own comfortable seats and drank blood. Zon stood up with a glass of blood on her right hand. She turned to drew and I and smiled her proud mommy smile.

"I would like to make a toast to my very successful son and daughter who followed their own dreams and didn't let any of their problems get in the way." We all lifted our glasses and the usual "clink" of glasses surrounded the house before we drank.

A few ours of talking and keeping up with each other, Emmett as usual decided to play a game.

"Truth or dare!" he shouted. Carlisle, Esme, Rick and Zon declined, saying they'll just watch us for the sake of Rick, seeing that he is new when it comes to our games. But I personally think they are just avoiding to be picked out due to every single vamp teenager in the house have pure evil minds.

We cleared the living room and we all sat down on the floor forming a big circle in the middle. Emmett ran to the kitchen and came back with a plastic bottle. He sat beside Rosalie and Drew.

"Let's do this." He mumbled then rubbed his hands together before spinning the bottle lightly.

Everyone leaned in, waiting for someone to be picked. I heard Gail muttering "Not me. Not me. Not me."

Then the bottle stopped.

"Yes!" jasper whispered yelled.

Emmett smiled evilly at him. "Truth or dare?"

"Are you kidding? Dare!" jasper answered bravely.

Emmett put his palm on his cheek and thought hard. His eyes sparkled and an evil smirked was plastered on his face.

"Jas, I dare you to wear a skimpy outfit and dirty dance in front of mike Newton's house while he is watching." Everyone gasped at the dare and I heard someone chocking, if that was possible for vampires.

"What?" jasper asked, pure terror was wrapped around his voice.

"Oh, we all know you heard it clearly. Come on, you're not gonna chicken out are you?" Emmett taunted.

"Pbbfftt!! Of course not!" jasper stood up quickly together with Alice and she dragged him upstairs to change. After earning a few profanities, jasper came out indignantly wearing a red leather tube, a skimpy school girl skirt that reaches his mid thigh, a red wig and leather boots. Alice handed him a sequined black mask.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"Just to surprise mike." Alice patted jaspers butt earning her yelp. That was the turning point; we couldn't keep it any longer. Emmett's booming laughter surrounded the area making the birds from the trees flutter away. The adults came inside the living area I saw Rick eyeing jasper warily.

"What is that boy wearing?" he whispered to Zon. Instead of answering, she just giggled and patted him at the back.

Everyone was now laughing in expense of jasper's appearance. When we contained our laughter, we all ran to mike Newton's house. Jasper walked slowly to the door while swinging his hips like a prostitute would except his were extra wobbly due to the high heeled boots. We snickered as he tripped a few steps before reaching the door and ringing the doorbell.

The door swung open to reveal a half naked mike Newton but the sight was not appealing. His hair was in a crazy way and he looks like a pig. When he saw jasper, his eyes widened and he gulped loudly.

"What can I helped you with?" mike asked while eyeing jasper from head to toe.

"Um, a gift from the Cullens and Stewarts. Just watch here honey." Jasper said in a good feminine voice. He touched mike's cheeks down to his chest making him shiver.

Jasper turned around and winked at us who are all hiding in the bushes. I heard jasper said "hit it, Alice." Then the intro of 'Careless whisper' rang throughout the neighborhood.

Jasper swung his hips from side to side and he started to dance slowly. Mike's eyes became wider and he took a few steps towards jasper. I heard some of mike's neighbors getting out of their homes and shouting profanities.

"Mike, what's the no-" Jessica Stanley came out from mike's house only wearing a cheap white lingerie and a silk blue robe. Every one of us gasped at the horrid sight and I quickly shielded Edward's eyes.

"That is what you call rated R!!" Emmett boomed while holding a video cam.

When the song ended, jasper walked up to mike slowly and took of his mask. Mike realized who it was while Jessica gasped.

"Jasper!!" he shouted, bewildered. "Man, that just ruined my fantasy" he mumbled to himself. We all snickered as jasper threw the masked to Jessica's face.

With out another word, jasper turned his back and walked away. Emmett recorded the whole thing and promised to post it on youtube and on his facebook account. We ran all the way to the house again and formed a circle again while jasper changed upstairs. When he was done, he spins the bottle again. This time, it landed on Edward. All eyes were on him and I saw I glint in jasper's eyes.

"Bro, truth or dare?" jasper asked.

"Do you have to ask? Dare." He said bravely.

Jasper grinned at him then mumbled "perfect." Alice clapped her hands excitedly while Edward groaned.

"What? What is it?" asked Gail impatiently.

"Edward, I dare you to be a gay up to this moment until tomorrow midnight." My eyes widened and I couldn't help but laugh. Edward eyed me annoyingly while the rest joined in my laughter.

"God! I can't believe this moment would come!" Emmett gasped between his laughter.

"Gay Edward is a dream come true!" Rosalie giggled. As I clutched my stomach while leaning against lizette.

Edward growled under his breath and patted him on his back and kissed his cheek. I smiled comfortably at him.

"There, there Edwina. It's going to be fine." I cooed at him. He grumbled under his breath as we laugh some more.

"Fine, I'll be gay right now." He announced at us. We eyed him excitedly as he shifted on where he sat.

He looked for the bottle and spotted it near Rosalie. He raised his eyebrow at her and she copied him with a smile lingering on her lips.

"Hey bitch! Would you stop staring and hand me the bottle?" Edward said in a girly but bitchy voice.

Rosalie, as well us the rest of us was shocked. Edward, is that you? Rose threw the bottle at him while he grumbled under his breath.

He spin the bottle and it pointed at lyka. We all smiled at her innocently as she looked back at Edward warily.

"Truth or dare, baby girl?" Edward asked. Emmett snickered earning a glare from Edward, or rather, Edwina.

"truth." Lyka answered.

"Okaaaay." Edward placed his index finger under his chin and he looked at her thoughtfully. Lyka fidgeted on her place as we waited for Edwina's verdict.

"Ohhh!! I got one! Now it's time for kiss and tell, peach. How many guys have you dated before and after you were changed?" Edward asked her brightly.

"Ugh! Not that one!" Emmett whined.

"Shut up, old fart or you're gonna get it!" Edwina retorted irritated and we heard Emmett squeaked.

Lyka looked at Drew shyly then nodded to herself. "Let's see. Well, I have dated 10 guys before my change and after, I dated one from china, there's one from France..."

"Wait! Don't forget the one from Barcelona...i got some hots for him too." Lizette chided.

"Yeah, so hot." Lyka agreed dreamily. Edward must have seen it in her mind because he said "ohhh girl, I like how you pick your man!" he winked at drew while all the girls giggled.

"Oh and there's also one I met in Australia. Best date ever." Lyka rolled her eyes in wonder while fanning herself and lizette was nodding enthusiastically.

"Rawr!" Edwina clawed the air while the rest of us girls giggled. "Yummy."

"My turn. My turn!" lyka exclaimed.

She spins the bottle and it landed on Gail. He grinned at her and before she could ask anything, he boomed "dare!"

"okay." lyka said then smiled brightly at him "I dare you to kiss Edwina full on the lips for 3 seconds." Even though Gail was already pale, I think some of his color was gone after hearing his dare.

"w-what?" he asked in a small voice.

"I dare you to kiss Edwina on the lips for 3 seconds." She replied slowly.

"Hell! That's just sick man!" he exclaimed after a long pause.

"hey, you can always back out of it and be damned by being a chicken of the century." Lyka retorted. She turned back to us and grabbed the bottle.

"Okay, moving on." She said.

"Fine! I'll do it!" Gail exclaimed, defeated.

"Ohh girl you're good!" Edwina said happily while clapping his hands together. He suddenly opened his palm in front of me. "Gloss me." he commanded. I quickly grabbed my lip gloss on my jeans pocket and I gave it to him. He expertly put some gloss on his already perfect lips and puckered them towards Gail's direction.

Gail was shocked at Edward reaction and I heard Emmett said "shit! I think he already cracked!"

Edward got up slowly, building the tension inside the room. Even the adults stopped talking and paid their attention at our group. Gail slowly went over to Edward and was about to lean in when Edward said "wait! I want it to take things slow, okay? It's my first kiss you know." He said shyly making us all laugh. Gail's face was contorted by what he heard and he nodded weakly.

Then it happened.

Gail quickly kissed Edwina full on the lips sloppily in 3 seconds. Exact. My eyes widened at this revelation and lizette whispered on my ear "how can you take this? It's a bit disturbing you know." We both shuddered and I whispered back "girl, I'm not kissing him anytime soon." lyka and her snickered while the rest continued on with the game.

Gail was gagging all around as Edwina looked dreamily at the bottle. Edwina handed me my lip gloss back. "No thanks. Keep it."

"Thanks, doll!" he replied brightly.

Gail spun the battle and it landed on Quinn. "Ha! Truth or dare?" Gail asked quickly.

"Truth"

"Chicken." He muttered. "What place on this house did you and Gleb did the most erotic sex ever?"

"On your truck bed." she admitted bluntly.

Gail on the other hand was shocked at her answer. He opened and closed his mouth several times until he said "that's just sick."

"Why? Are you expecting that it'll be inside my dance room?" I asked teasingly.

"Or at the top of my piano?" Drew added.

"yeah." He mumbled.

"Well, you're not alone brother. They have fornicated every single room, car and thing in this house. Even zon's library." I said while drew nodded sadly.

"Well I think I felt a little better." He sighed.

"Whatever, drama queens. They want some hot action going on, so don't mope just because you can't have some. Jealous bitches." Edwina chided in.

We both looked at him, shocked. This Edward is really different from the gentleman Edward. My eyes widened and I know it's weird but, gay Edward is turning me on with all the trash talking and stuff.

"Uh, if I know, you're the one who doesn't want to have sex with Bella in the first place. So I pretty much think it's your fault she's moping." Emmett snickered while I glared at him. Stupid Emmett. Edward's eyes widened and looked at me. I just shrugged and smiled at him.

"Ookaaayy" Quinn broke the tension and spun the bottle. It landed on Rosalie.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare"

"Stand at the corner of Wal-Mart and pretend to be a prostitute." Quinn said.

Rosalie just shrugged and got up. She went up stairs and in just a few seconds she came with a different look.

She was wearing a leopard corset, denim skirt yellow sock and black ankle boots. She put her hair into a messy pony on the side while putting yellow shades on. Emmett wolf whistled while Alice raised an eyebrow.

"rose what are you wearing?" she asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm wearing prostitute outfit." Rose said like it was the obvious thing ever.

"Yeah I can see that but, the outfit doesn't look good, no offence." Alice shrugged.

"I know. Isn't prostitutes like that? All they care is that they are wearing skimpy outfits. They don't care about if it matches. Duh!" she walked confidently

"You go girl!" Edwina yelled while bumping hips with Rosalie.

This is starting to get disturbing. I shook my head and we followed Rosalie towards Wal-mart. She stood at the corner and leaned on the wall while we were across the street. Five minutes later, there was a group of men going to wal-mart and they are going to pass Rosalie. She winked at us before moving away from the shadows. Two of the guys spotted her and she ushered them near her.

"Hey sweet thang!" Rosalie winked at them and threw a flying kiss at the perverts.

"Hey, where's the other girl? Did you guys switched places?" the tall one asked.

All of our mouths hanged open and out of nowhere, we saw a brunette walking fast towards where rose and the two perverts stand.

"BITCH!!" she shouted and smacked Rosalie in the face with her handbag. Then out of no where we saw something flying towards us.

"Duck!" jasper warned and we all did. Unfortunately, Emmett was too busy capturing the scene between Rosalie and the prostitute and the object jabbed into his eye.

"HOLY MOTHER-" lizette and lyka quickly covered his mouth as he dropped the cam and he clutched his eye.

"Aww shit that hurts." He mumbled.

I picked up the object and my eyes widened.

"Hey guys, look." I showed them the object and we started laughing out loud. Apparently, when the brunette smacked her handbag on Rosalie's face, the bag snapped off from the handle. Edwina snatched the bag and examined it.

"Hmm…bitch got a good taste." He said while, Alice and Quinn nodded.

"Oh let me see, let me see." Alice snatched the bag away from Edward and opened the contents of the bag. Gail was now clutching onto Emmett because of laughing so hard. Alice and us girls (including Edwina) screamed and threw the bag at the boys.

The bag was full of condoms. Not just condoms, but used condoms. Ewww..

"Yuck!! Eww, Eww!! Get it off! Get it off!!" Alice screamed around while stretching her hands towards us.

"Aghh!! Don't wipe it on me! Wipe it on the them!" lizette shrieked as Alice was about to wipe it on her hair.

The guys laughed even louder and I lot of by passers started to eye us suspiciously. They must have thought were complete idiots.

"God! I touched it too! Oh my god!!" Edwina shrieked. I smacked his head.

"Ow! That is so not cool!" he put his hand on his hip and the other in front of me with his head going on in circular motion.

"Idiot! You just touched the outside of it not the contents." I said irritably. Man, I think Rosalie and Emmett are staring to rub off on us.

After our little commotion, we focused our attention back at Rosalie and the prostitute. I think Rosalie was in the middle of her threat when we started listening.

"…I swear I will scratch your eyes out and pull your tit rings off!" she threatened. The brunette gasped and covered her chest protectively.

"Yeah, uhuh! It's obvious bitch! You little nasty!" Rosalie hissed and walked away from a stunned prostitute.

We silently ran home and again, formed a circle. Rosalie spun the bottle and it hit on me. I gulped.

"Truth or dare?'

"Dare"

Rosalie nodded then said "pull a prank to the brunette prostitute." I grinned evilly. I think this is the best dare ever and the easiest.

"That's it?" Emmett asked. "We got dared to do dirty dancing, acting like a prostitute, acting like a gay and kiss the same sex while she get to pull a prank on the prostitute?"

"what? You got a problem about that?" Rosalie asked while glaring at her husband.

"Nope. Not at all. Okay, carry on now." Emmett replied hastily.

….

I quickly dressed up in the police officer costume Alice lent me (don't ask how) and put on the wig and fake mustache. The gang followed me to the police station and I smoothly stole the police car. Before I turned to the street near wal-mart, I turned on the siren and quickly drove straight to the corner. The brunette was still there talking to the two guys and when she saw me, she tried to ran away but she was wearing heels.

"Stop right there!" I shouted in a masculine voice that I could muster.

"I didn't do anything, I swear!!" she said before I could accuse her of anything.

I dragged her to the alley and let out my gun (*wink*fake*wink*) and pointed it to her.

"Please don't hurt me sir! I didn't do anything! That bitch! Yeah she's the one who started it! Please sir! I'll do anything! Anything." Ewww…

"Woah! Woah! Hold you're horses there missy! I'm just here to ask you a few questions." I explained.

"Oh, yeah sure."

"Are you free tonight? Some of the guys at the station wanted to have some fun, if you know what I mean." I wink at her to make an effect. Her eyes widened and a sly smile creeped up her face.

"Hey, I could clear my schedule to any of you." she winked at me and I fought the urge to gag.

"Yeah, well come on. Don't want anyone to see us here now, would we?" I dragged her to the back seat and drove down to the station. I parked it in front so the whole station would notice. "Stay here." I mumbled and she replied a flirty sure.

Since it was dark, the police inside hadn't notice the car yet. I ran at vamp speed towards Alice who is waiting for me near the bushes. "Did you wash your hands?" I asked her teasingly.

"Shut up!" I rolled my eyes at her and took of the fake mustache and wig. I quickly change into my normal clothes and gave Alice a thumbs up.

I walked straight to the police station and started getting their attention.

"HELP!!!!" a blood curling scream came out of me that startled the police officers in what ever they're doing.

"My brother and sister are being held hostage at our house!!! Help!! Somebody helped me!!" I sobbed and broke down on the floor. Officer stew came running into me and helped me get up.

"Tell us everything, miss??"

"Yuri. Yuri beach." I said seriously. He nodded at me and sat me on the chair in front of his desk. I heard the silent laughter of my friends from outside and I tried very hard not to lose my façade.

"Well, Yuri beach. Tell me what happened." He commanded.

"My brother and sister are hostages of my ex boyfriend, Mickey Elliot."

"Okay, now I see. Let's go men!" the officer ordered and they all got to their respective vehicles.

"Where the hell is my car?" asked officer stew.

"ahhh... Stew. I think yours is parked at the front." Said one of the officers.

"right." he grumbled and walked straight to his car and went inside. As soon as he locked his door, the brunette prostitute said.

"Hey there, big boy."

Officer stew jumped at her voice and turned around, bewildered.

"What the hell are you doing here, Bella?" he asked. I froze on where I stood. Bella? How did he know my name? I didn't mention anything to him right? Oh shit! What if he knew my last name? Aw…Zon is not going to be happy about this.

I silently walked away from the station and went straight to join my laughing friends. We intently watched the conversation being held inside the car.

"Bella, I told you many times not to come here. Didn't I tell you to just call me if you needed anything?"

"What do you mean? One of your colleagues dragged me here saying you guys wanted me. And I thought he was referring to you! So came with him."

All of our jaws dropped open and some of us blinked a few times trying to take it all in. the prostitute was also named as Bella? That is just some shit right there!!

"What." I said

"The." Rosalie chided.

"hell." Alice followed.

"Baby girl, I didn't know you have a bitchling loitering around in a swimsuit." Edwina said with both hands on his hips.

"I didn't know either. I swear." I said, still in shock.

"That is some shit right there." Emmett said.

"You can say that again." jasper snorted.

"That is some shit right there." Emmett repeated.

We rolled our eyes at him and went straight home. When we reached the front porch steps, Esme asked us "how's the late night trip?" she smiled knowingly.

"Well, first of all, we found out that Edward has a potential of being gay and now we are calling him Edwina, jasper can be a stripper, Rosalie is good in the prostitute department, Gail is bisexual and Bella, found out that the prostitute that Rosalie threatened, is also named as Bella and officer stew is Bella's, not our Bella but the prostitute, fling." Alice exclaimed all in one breathe.

The adults nodded then they all said at the same time "that is some shit right there." Some shit, indeed.