Well this is it the last chapter, I am done with this one and onto the sequel hehe I can't wait I almost got the first chapter written. God I love typing I should go back to school and get a degree in writing its alot better than looking at cones lol jk. anyway the sequel will be up soon so don't fret about how I end this story, there is still so many questions that need to be answered.
Chapter 36
My Fire, My Flames. Gone.
The next couple of days were completely horrible for me. I paced around the entire house, cleaned the entire house and every once in awhile popped in on Haymitch to see how things were progressing. Delly moved in with me as a promise to Peeta and I had no objections about that. I guess I could use a little girl time, being stuck with only my mother for company wasn't really going to fly with me. I was still waiting for her to scold me on getting pregnant and having sex, But it still hasn't came. Maybe she was not going to scold me or yell at me for getting pregnant just because I no longer am going to have a baby. I guess it didn't matter now. I was in the process of scrubbing the kitchen sink when a soft knock on my door made me drop the wash cloth and peel off the rubber gloves that I wore on my hands so the chemicals didn't touch my bare skin. I peeled the gloves off and stalked towards the door, I pulled it open slowly and came face to face with my blond-headed lover. I wanted to kiss him so badly, to wrap my arms around him and force him to stay. The look in his eyes told me that it was time for him, Haymitch and Effie to go back to the capitol and search for that cure. I stepped sideways and allowed him in, he wouldn't come into the house. He was at my door by himself. We were all alone and I knew he was scared to be alone with me.
"Do you wanna come in?" I asked softly.
"I can't" He mumbled.
"Then why you here"
"To say goodbye" That did it tears started to run down my face. I was surprised when he gently pulled me against his body and allowed me to lay my head softly against his chest. He stroked me multiple times as I cried. We stayed like that for a good ten minutes and not once did I feel threatened by him, not once did he look like he was going to lose his mind and come at me. When he tried to pull away I wrapped my hands around him tighter not letting space between us. I looked up at him with nothing but tears in my gray eyes. He wiped them away with his thumbs. I leaned up and gently kissed him on the lips, something I have been dying to do for so long.
"Are you going to come back to me?" I question.
"I don't know Katniss" He said softly.
"How can you not know" I cry.
"All you got to remember is that I love you"
"I love you too" I whimper.
"Got to remember I am doing this because I love you so damn much" He says and leans forwards to kiss me quickly, "I need to get rid of this venom once and for all not only that I need to clear my head of things"
"Why can't I come with you?"
"Because I can easily hurt you, Haymitch and I want to trigger as many episodes as we can. Maybe just maybe I'll say something, do something. I have to relive my torture I just know Snow was hiding something the day they injected me with the stuff. I have to remember what happen during my time in the Capitol"
"Your wasting your time you do realize that"
"Maybe, Maybe not"
"Can I please come with you?" I knew he was going to say No, but it was worth a shot.
"No" He replies.
"Please" I beg and plea.
He sighs heavily and takes a hand off of me to run it through his thick blond hair. God I loved this man in front of me and it was so hard to let him go. He was my fire, he was my flames and now he was leaving me and now my fire and flames were burning out. I hugged him again, resting my chin on his left shoulder, that was when I noticed Haymitch standing there with so many suitcases in his hands and by his feet. I paid very little attention to Haymitch. I inhaled Peeta's scent trying to remember every bit of it. He always smelled extremely good, like vanilla and sugar. I wonder what he was going to do about the bakery. I was going to be completely pissed if he left Ceal in charge. That blonde-headed bimbo didn't even know how to work that cash register properly let alone run the whole bakery. I lifted my head off his shoulder and stared at him.
"What about your bakery?" I was going to hit him if he said he left Ceal in charge.
"I left Broton in charge" That good that was one of Peeta's good friends. Broton was very smart and would have no trouble at all in running the shop. I was so relieved that the wicket witch of the west was not going to be in charge. I placed my lips on Peetas for a good long minutes before he gently pushed me away and looked over his shoulder and nodded in Haymitch's directions indicating he was ready to go to the train station. I felt the tears swell up in my eyes as I watched him begin to walk down my steps. I suddenly ran after him not bothering to shut my door and not bothering to put a coat on to protect myself from the cold weather. Peeta stopped in his tracks as I slid my hand into his.
"I wanna see you off" I say quietly.
"Get a jacket on please" He calmly said.
I nod and bolt up the steps to slide on my hunting jacket, it was nice and warm inside the thick material. I shut my door this time and return to Peeta's side. I intertwined our fingers and followed them to the train station.
"I asked Gale to look after you" Peeta said after a moment of silence.
"You really shouldn't of asked him to do that" I mutter.
"He seemed like the best choice at the time"
"Gale is a bit lacking in the comfort department."
"You won't need comfort because you are going to remain strong"
"I can't" My voice was barely audible but somehow he still managed to hear me. He stopped dead in his tracks and dropped the suitcase he was carrying to the ground. He took my face between his hands and I could of sworn I heard Haymitch mumble something Like 'for the love of god kids', but I didn't care Haymitch could deal with it and maybe if I was lucky Peeta would miss his train, that would be so tragic. Not. If he missed his train he would just catch the next one. I looked into his beautiful ocean blue eyes and melted. When was I going to stare into those eyes again, a week? A month? A year? Will I ever see them again.
"Look at me, Your going to be strong. Your going to hunt with your best friend, Your going to smile everyday, your going to hang out and let those annoying people you call prep team do your hair and nails, You and Del are going to have you girl time. Your going to be happy and before you know it I'll be home ready to marry you"
"Promise?"
He nods, kisses me and scoops his bags off the ground and starts walking again. Its not long before we reach the train station, tears start to run down my face again, I view myself as such a little crybaby, but I honestly cannot help it. The train remains me of the one we used on the victors tour. Haymitch takes the bags inside, he has already said his goodbyes to his girlfriend and everyone that he cares about. Obviously Avara took it much better than me. Effie was already on board, when she heard our voice she poked her head out of the doorway and shot me a smile. I couldn't shoot one back because my mood went from bad to worse.
"Come one now trains about to leave" Effie says to Haymitch, her words bounce around in my brain and all I could do was cry again. He was really leaving me. He was really going back to the capitol to find a cure. I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed the life out of him. Haymitch was in the process of gathering the bags around us. I was really worried about him to, he was in fact the closest thing I had to a father and there was a good chance of him being killed as well. Maybe I was being paranoid, maybe things were not so bad in the capitol. Maybe I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I untangled myself from Peeta, told him not to go nowhere, I stalked over to where Haymitch was loading the train with the bags.
"No goodbyes to Avara?"
"We have had our goodbyes yesterday" He grinned deviously and raised his brows up and down.
"Ugh gross" I mumbled.
Haymitch snickered then his face turned serious, "Are you going to be alright?"
"I don't know" I tell him honestly.
"I'll look after the boy"
"Please do and please stop him from doing anything he shouldn't" I said.
"You worry too much Sweetheart"
"Please be careful" I say and pull the old man into a bone crushing hug. My worries for Haymitch increased, "I love you" Haymitch looked completely shocked at my words, but I had to tell him I loved like I would my father. His cheeks turned red and he ran a hand through his hair and smirked at me.
"I am too old for you and your not my type" He joked.
I playfully slapped him. "You know what I mean"
" I love you too sweetheart"
"Be careful"
"Of course"
Haymitch grinned, pecked me on the forehead and told Peeta he had five minutes to suck-face with me, say his goodbyes or the train was leaving without him. I didn't mind if the train left him here. I was surprised that I was the only one that was seeing him off. He probably already had a heart to heart with Delly and the others. I wrapped my arms around his neck and found myself back in his arms.
"Tell me you love me"
"I love you"
"Tell me you will be back"
He paused for a moment, "I might"
"Please! Tell me you'll be back"
He was silent.
"Tell me you will forgive yourself for everything that has happened"
"I can't"
"Kiss me?"
He leaned forward and caught my lips in his driving us both into a deep and passionate kiss. When we broke I took the time in running my hands through his blonde hair. Our foreheads were pressed together and our eyes were closed. We were listening to each others heartbeat.
"Katniss?" His voice was so deep and so serious.
"Hmm?"
"Will you do me a favor?"
"Hmm?" I repeat.
"Will you try and be happy with someone if I don't make it back?"
I wiggled out of his arms and stared at him, my eyes were boring into his as if he just said some horrible thing to me and that what those words were. Horrible. How could he expect me to move on if he didn't make it back from the Capitol. Why wouldn't he make it back from the capitol. Why would he tell me he was going to come back before I knew it and marry me and then turn around and say something like this. Why tell the one thing and then turn around and tell me another.
"No" I say in almost a hiss. "I will not move on Peeta. How could you ask that?"
He is silent.
"HUH!"
"I don't know" He mumbles.
He isn't making much sense, I really wish I knew what was going on in his head. What he was thinking, But I guess I'll never know. The train made a loud beeping noise and Peeta looked to where Haymitch was standing at the entrance of the train. Haymitch tapped his wrist indicating it was time to go. This wasn't happening He was not just going to walk out of my life like this and after saying something so bad to me like: 'be happy with someone else' Did he know something I didn't. Did he think he was not coming back.
"I got to go"
'Don't do this please" I cried.
"I don't have a choice" He said calmly.
I snapped, "Yes you do, Dammit Peeta it was an accident"
I knew why he was doing this, one he really did want to find a cure and two he was leaving me because of the baby. He didn't want to be around me anymore because he caused me to miscarry and I knew he was never going to forgive himself for it. I watch all kinds of emotions flood into his face.
"I'm a murderer Katniss ALRIGHT. Just let me deal with this in my own way. Let me find a damn cure on my own" He shouts.
"Your coming back to me" I demanded.
"I don't know! I don't Know KATNISS!" He shouts.
"Fine then GO! I guess I don't really mean..." He cut me off.
"Stop it! You know you mean everything to me" He says and tries to approach me.
"Yeah that is why you want me to move on with someone else. Just take this back if you want me to move one." I slide the ring off my finger and threw it at him. I didn't know why the sudden outburst of anger occurred, but I knew it wasn't fair to take my anger out on him. As soon as my ring hit the ground I felt the sudden urge to dive after it and slide it back on.
"BOY LETS GO!" Haymitch yells out.
Peeta was silent for a moment, "Are we done then?"
"Do you want to be done?"
"Do you?"
"No"
"Okay then" He picks up his large bag that was by his feet and without another word to me began walking towards the entrance of the train.
"I LOVE YOU!" I shout after him.
"I love you too" He says as he enters the train. Tears covered my eyes as he disappeared from sight. The train pulled out of a station and it felt like a hole has just been ripped into my heart. In a matter of minutes the train was gone and so was Peeta, Haymitch and Effie. I drop to my knees and cried for what seems like an eternity. He was gone, he was really gone. I rose to my knees and wiped the slush off my pants. I suddenly began scanning the entire station hoping I could find my ring that I threw at him. When I finally did manage to find the little pearl ring that was half-buried in the snow. I cried and slid it on my ring finger, this is never going to come off my finger as long as he is gone. I should of never threw this at him. Peeta was my Fire, He was my flames, he was my whole world. Now my Fire and Flames were gone, burned out never to be ignited again. All I had to do now was wait for the day he would come back to District 12, healthy and happy. Normal. In a way it was for his own good to leave. I just wish we would of been on better terms when he left. I loved him and I will always love him even if he decides to stay away from me forever. I would always have a piece of him as long as I keep hold of this ring. He was not going to get away from me so easily.
The end.
OMG its all over :(. I really hope the ending wasn't too bad. I just want to take this time to thank every single person that reviewed and read this story. You guys are the best and very supportive. Usually I don't finish a story unless I have support and you guys provided me with enough of that to keep me going. This really is the best thing I have written and I am glad most of you enjoyed it. Like I said there will be a second one and hopefully you like that one as much as the one and it means alot to me that you guys look past my grammar mistakes and focus only on the story. Again thank you so much for everything and the second one should be up real soon because I have the first chapter written hehe. What can I say I love typing and writing. I'll see you guys really soon.