I'm really happy i didn't scar anyone for life by the choice to use a certain word in the last chapter. thank you all for the kind words and not killing me over the current direction of the story. i know i keep saying this but the end is near. not three chapter near but it's within sight. mellie's parents ushered in one of the last story plots. i hope i finish strong for y'all. this chapter filler of the sorts but I wanted to visit this situation. and it fits with the time space...a little lol
P.S. this chapter is dedicated to Da Prince's. Not only i am receiving life from all stories, but it makes me want to be a better writer. and if saving grace is not update soon, im going to send you coal instead of cookies!
P.S.S. The lyrics aren't mine. The song is "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry
q and a's
guest: giggle? lol ill take it! thanx
fitzisgold-win: lol they can have a full stadium worth of those seats. give peace a chance, as you hand us that phone. lmbo your reviews are soo freaking cute and entertaining! lol and yes, fitz is black.
oceans007: karen and gerry will have problems but i never intend to write them like mellie *shudder* huck is ride or die! if only shonda could read my fics...#NoShade
mmrb0908: perfect storm...and that was just the darkness before the actual storm
limepalmtree: yep, white privilege messes up everyone involved. we will revisit that soon tho
cleo: i started to let him but i figured a could possibly get a little more out fun out of them other ways
scandalolitz: i hope thats a good wow... *nervous laughter*
angchick: loved your review! i wish we could all come together and just live without hatred but that is impossible. it will always be people like danny jo and eloise to mess that up. with that being said, if we could teach our younger generation to not only not hate skin colors but not to hate at all, we would all be better people.
lagub: aww thanks. the family and the pool is like the happy place for the grants!
crabapplect: talking to death...dang that would have been a great idea! mellie...i enjoy the hatred she really has not only toward fitz and olivia but their love also. its sad that a person has become that crazed about position that she willing dumb herself down more and more each day.
cici: aww thanks! huck tells truth!
mzlizbiz: you is smart. you is kind. you is important. lol if you've never watched the help, you should. that's what I just referenced. anywho, that basically what i got from your review. gerry and karen will survive. they may be young but they have two great head on their shoulders and with a dad like fitz, and a mom in liv, they are bound to shoot for the stars. fitz is smart. he knows what buttons to push and when to push them. he knows what liv need and when she needs it. the grandparents are important. they hold such a huge background story and they will be very important to olitz's success or their death.
beckypo: yes! lol
lorene: thank you. huck, gerry and karen needs all the awards! olivia is fitz's award so don't worry about him lol thank you so much for reading! ^_^
chocolate: they wont forget what he did, or who he is. and you better believe it's not over.
soverykerry: your hero?! *tears* please stop. lol
shaun: chap 20 was one of my favorites too! loved typing it. and thank you for reading.
kandyse4olitz: thank you so much for binge reading! im so happy that i can entertain my readers. and here is your update. hope i live up to your expectation from now on!
"Today is the day."
"Today is the day." Karen repeated.
"You think Mom is going to go zombie again?" Gerry asked while chewing an apple.
"I don't know." Karen said deep in thought. "I was really scared the last time. I thought she would leave us...you know like SHE did."
"SHE didn't leave us. She just did really stupid stuff that led to her going to jail. SHEis where SHEbelongs. SHEis the reason we are here today. SHE is the reason Mom is going to be sad today."
"Today? She was sad yesterday and the day before that, and the day before that." Karen corrected Gerry while shaking her head.
"That's true." Gerry added. He paused, thinking he heard Teddy. He didn't hear anymore shuffling so he dismissed it.
"Mommy and Daddy never talked about what happened after she collapsed that day in the oval."
"It was hard for them Karen. Their kid was dying. I don't think there was anything to say or to talk about."
"I just wanted to know what happened. I want to be able to be there for them. I know they're sad. I just want to help." Karen huffed.
"You want my advice? Just wait. Mom has a hard time letting go of things. She just needs time. She...she just needs time. I don't know much about her past but I heard whispers. Mom didn't grow up with a loving parent like us. Although we were shipped around and witnessed Dad and HERfighting all the time, Dad showed us love. Mom didn't have that. Her mom died and her Dad shipped her off. Grammy used to say 'You wanna know how strong a person is? Find their weakest point and continuously throw it in their face. If they run, they were as weak as you thought But if they stick around, maybe it wasn't as weak of a point as you thought or maybe just maybe you helped them overcome it.' Karen, we're helping Mom. She didn't have a family like we know it to be. She just needs time."
"That was deep, Gerry. I know Mommy has parental issues but Grammy makes sense-"
A throat being cleared stopped the conversation. Olivia and Fitz stood in the doorway. Fitz was slightly angry at the kids for talking about Olivia and her issues...especially on today and in a place where she could easily hear. Olivia just stood there, not blinking, not moving, just there.
"Morning." The kids said lowly.
No greeting was given as the family sat in the quietness of the morning over breakfast. Fitz and the kids talked about the day's events and somewhat enjoyed their breakfast. They each tried to get Olivia to eat but they barely received a blink of the eye.
"So, I will get Teddy from his baby signing lessons and we can go visit-"
"No." Olivia finally said something.
"What? Huh? Mom?" Each person asked confused at her outburst.
"When I woke up, I was so sad. All I ever wanted was to have a baby and now...now that was carrying one, it was going to die. It was going to die so young, without even experiencing the world. The baby was still alive but it was obvious the baby wouldn't make it. They thought she would just dissolve into my body but she didn't. She was a fighter. She grew to have somewhat of a skeleton system, muscles. She had a heart beat still. But my baby was still given a death sentence. But I wasn't going to just let them suck her out of me. I wasn't going to let them force me into labor-"
"Baby..." Fitz tried to stop Olivia, but it didn't work.
Olivia shrugged him off continuing, " into labor to have her. I wanted to keep her with me until I had no choice. She was still 17% viable so I waited. I waited until the very last moment. I waited until she was struggling inside of me. I waited until I could no longer sustain her life by myself. As you know kids, I and your Dad went to the hospital. I got to have a natural birth. We got to hold her in our arms. Fitz...he held her little hand-"
"She had a bit of a grip too. The love I had for her in that moment.." Fitz said teary eyed.
Olivia smiled. "She was perfect and precious. But she was dying. As she took her last breaths, I sang to her. I made up a song that expressed my love for her and I sang it. I sang until I could no longer hold her. Until they had to take her from me...You know the rest. Zombie Mom as you called me and then we buried her. Then Zombie Mom again. That's it." Olivia stood to her feet wiping her mouth even though she hadn't touched her food. "I'll get my baby and we can leave afterward."
"You wanted your answers, you got your answers, kids. Welcome to the adult world." Fitz said with a sad smile.
Silence covered the little family. Even Baby Teddy's eyes had tears. Karen and Gerry explained to him over breakfast that today was a sad day. Today was a day that Daddy and especially Mommy would be sad. They made him understand that Mommy may not want to play as much as usual. Teddy asked if she would still teach him more sign language. Learning had become the only thing he wanted to do with his time. They just smiled and replied maybe tomorrow.
They now stood in California at the Grant Mausoleum in tears. Olivia, perched on her knees right next to a pink and gold plate that held a name, Natalia Grace Grant.
"Oh, my baby. Today, you were suppose to be born. Today was supposed to be happy." Olivia whispered.
Teddy glanced up to Fitz with a trembling lip, "I thought I was baby."
"You are, baby boy. Mommy is just sad right now."
Teddy glanced at his Mommy then pouted. He didn't understand. Fitz sensed Teddy was confused. He help Teddy close to his body and took a few steps away from the group.
"Teddy, Mommy had a baby in her stomach. The baby went to Heaven so she is a little sad. Your little sister was Mommy's baby too. She still loves you a lot but she is just very sad."
"Sad like me when I no swim?"
Fitz smiled sadly, "Somthing like that baby boy."
"Oh, okay." Teddy wiggled to get down then ran to Olivia. Fitz tried to stop him but he didn't make it in time. "Mommy, it's okay. When I no swim, you says I go later. You see Nattie later. Kay?"
Olivia stared straight ahead. She smiled slowly then nodded her head, "I know baby."
Silence took over the group again. A low hum could be heard softly. But sudden a voice started,
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Karen walked over to Olivia, kneeling in front of her. She took her face in her little hands and smiled. Karen stroked her face and wiped the ever-flowing tears that kept her face wet. She held her Olivia's head tucked under head right in her neck. She rocked her as she went into the next part of the song...
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors
Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time
Karen stood as he walked over to Fitz and Teddy. Karen motion above as if sing to God and Nattie at the same time. She looked to Fitz with a smile when the song spoke of a man hold her hand. She knew Fitz would catch on to the reference from earlier.
And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the loving of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
She bent down to the level of Teddy. She dipped Teddy in her arms, following with a kiss when she spoke of the type of love that last forever. She held him a little longer in her arms while she smiled at him, goofing off with him. She adjusted his little neck tie and her pearls as she sang the last part to him.
There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
She walked over to Gerry with tears in her eyes. She jabbed at his arm, earning a smile at him. She latched onto his arm and just swayed as she sung the rest of the song. She glanced over her family, trying to sing her love to them. Grammy' quote came to mind. Does that mean Grammy and Nattie are together in Heaven now? She smiled. Of course they were.
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing
Funny, when you're dead how people start listening
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them
The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys
And I'll wear my pearls
"I love you baby sister." Karen finished.
"Me too." Teddy chimed in with a smile touching Nattie's piece of the wall.
Gerry held Karen close as the tears fell from her eyes, "That was beautiful baby sister. Nattie loves it. I know she does."
Silence overtook the family once again.
"Mommy, Daddy?" Karen whisper.
Olivia just stared ahead. She was once again in her own little world. He prayed she didn't slip like she did when Nattie died. Fitz cleared his throat, "Yes, baby?"
"Did I make Mommy mad? I, I didn't mean too. I just wanted to sing to Nattie and let her know I was thinking about her. That we all were. And look how well that song fit for all of us. We all felt something-"
Olivia pulled Karen into an embrace cutting off her words. Olivia's little frame shook violently with her cries and pleas for happiness. Fitz leaned down, trying to pull Karen from the shaken Olivia. Karen's frown etched her innocent face.
"Don't take my baby girl from me, please. Don't take another one from me." Olivia begged to no one in general as she sobbed into Karen's neck. Karen's frown deepened but she just rubbing her back in between wiping her own tears away.
Fitz stopped the motion and paused in pain. He leaned behind Olivia, engulfing both her and Karen in a bear hug. Teddy ran to Olivia, wiggling his way hin to cuddle. Gerry stood to the side and watched his family cry and comfort each other. He smiled. A beautiful and very bold rainbow crossed the sky.
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors
Gerry though about the lyrics. It wasn't many things in this life we knew for sure but he knew Nattie saw what happened at her burial site. She was safe and she was loved. At least Nattie knew that. And he was thankful for the comfort.