Chapter 36

Dean and Sam stood in the middle of the motel room in their wolf skins with their eyes trained on their father who was staring back and forth between them wide-eyed.

The front door stand open behind John, and moments later Bobby walked up behind him. He glared at John's back irritably, until he looked past his shoulders to see what his friend was staring at.

Bobby's breath caught in his throat when he noticed Sam in his usual thick brown, and black wolf form, but then he noticed a wolf next to Sam with much less thickness in his all black fur, and knew instantly that it was Dean as he stared up at them with his green eyes.

Dean's ears were flat against his head as he looked back and forth between Bobby and John. He was going crazy with anticipation. He wanted to know what they were thinking, how much they must have hated him right now.

Sensing Dean's inner conflict, Sam glared at his brother before walking to his side and nudging his mane with his muzzle telling him wordlessly to calm down.

Dean whined softly, telling his brother to back off, but Sam didn't take the hint.

"How you boys feeling?" John asked in a clearly distracted voice.

Sam looked up at his father, and then back and Dean. Shrugging inwardly, Sam tensed his body, and then quickly shifted back to his human form, causing John to turn his head with a visible flinch.

When completely human, and completely naked, Sam picked up his underpants that lay forgotten on the floor by his feet, and quickly pulled them back on.

Dean whined and nudged Sam's knee with his muzzle, his message clear; he didn't know how to shift back into human form.

Sam knelt down so that he was at his brothers' eye-level, and then spoke to him softly.

"It's just like shifting into wolf form, except you have to think about being human. Walking on two legs, you know that sort of thing."

Dean nodded, and then closed his eyes. His mind was filled with human thoughts, and human feelings. He thought of his human skin, and hitched his breath when he felt a shudder ripple through him as his bones began to twist and rearrange themselves back to their human setting.

Moments later, Dean stood in front of his father, his brother, Bobby, and Jessica covered in a thick layer of beaded sweat completely naked and panting for breath.

Completely exposed, and turning bright red from embarrassment, Dean made a grab for his crotch to try and hide himself from the room to take away some of the awkwardness.

Sam only rolled his eyes and handed Dean his boxers he had slipped off before he shifted.

Dean nodded in gratitude before slipping them on and over his parts frantically.

John finally cleared his throat loudly before being able to look back at Dean with a solemn expression on his face. He then moved from the doorway to make room for Bobby to enter.

Bobby muttered something about 'damn Winchesters' as he slammed the door shut behind him.

John sighed deeply as he slowly sank into one of the chairs at the table with Bobby doing the same in the seat just adjacent to him.

"You alright?" John asked pointedly as he glared at Dean.

Dean gave a tiny nod, but couldn't bring himself to look his father in the eye. He stared down at his bare feet with shame ridden all on his face.

"Dean!" John said louder, making sure Dean made no mistake by looking off somewhere that wasn't his fathers' eyes.

His sorrowful green eyes swept up from his feet, and locked onto his fathers' blue eyed stare. Dean couldn't help but flinch at the hard look his father was giving him.

"I asked if you were alright, son!" John said to Dean with authority clear in his tone.

"I'm fine, dad." Dean muttered, not daring to speak much louder.

"Don't lie to me!" John accused, "What's wrong?"

Dean sighed and then looked over at Sam, who was standing beside Jessica now, giving Dean a tiny nod, urging him to continue.

Quickly, Dean looked back to his fathers' face before answering.

"I'm just weirded out, that's all." Dean replied honestly, "This is all just happening so fast."

But that's not the worst! The voice in the back of Dean's head taunted. You liked it, didn't you? The shift, and then being something that isn't you.

Dean wanted to scream at the voice in his head, but figured that would look strange to the folks in the real world, who weren't in his mind.

"It's like this random instinct that takes over sometimes. It just scares me because it -"

Dean cut himself off, and took in a deep breath. He didn't know how to put this. He wasn't sure how to say this to his father.

"Because what?" John egged on.

"Because..." Dean continued in a small whisper, "it feels good...natural."

John stared at Dean wide-eyed, whatever he was expecting Dean to say, that sure wasn't it. But no one else, however seemed at all surprised.

Sam and Jessica watched Dean, but didn't look at all surprised. Sam felt sympathetic toward his brother, because he knew what he was like. He remembered how long it took for Dean to even just accept him, so now that Dean was the same, Sam wondered how long it would take his brother to accept himself.

But more than that, Sam also knew what it was like to be the wolf. He knew better than anyone in that room. Sam knew how wonderful it was, and how much he looked forward to the full moons when he didn't know how to shift at will.

Maybe one day when Dean finally learns to accept himself, maybe he and Dean will share in a hunt under the full moon. Sam hoped for that desperately, but knew that it would be a long wait.

Moments went by and no one said anything. John seemed to be at a complete loss of words, as he was actually the one to break eye contact, which damn near broke Dean's heart as he resumed staring down at his feet.

"It'll be dark soon, John." Bobby reminded in a tired voice, "What's the game plan for the morning?"

John looked over at Bobby, who was looking back at him expectantly.

Bobby was ready to accept Dean and Sam no matter what package they came in. they were like family to him, and it broke his heart that John actually was family to them, yet he didn't seem quite so ready to accept his sons just yet.

"We lay down protection, and hole up here for the night." John announced to everyone in the room, "We leave first thing tomorrow morning."

"To where?" Sam asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

He couldn't believe his fathers' shallowness toward his own son. It was one thing to treat him like the outcast, the black sheep of the family. But why do that to Dean? He always followed his father's orders no matter what, depending on his blind faith. Would their father really just turn his back on Dean after all that?

No, Sam thought to himself. Maybe he - like Dean, just needed some time to think things out.

"We gotta find the witch." John said bluntly, "And in two nights will be the first night of the full moon. She'll be looking for Sammy tonight and tomorrow, and we gotta make sure she doesn't get her hooks into him."

"That's all fine and dandy," Jessica chimed in with a half smile on her face, "but how do you suggest we find her?"

"I have a plan." John replied vaguely, "Don't worry about the details -"

Sam suddenly cut John off with a mirthless chuckle as he glared at his father with disbelief.

"Don't kick us that 'need to know' crap!" Sam spat, "What's going on?"

"We don't have time for this!" John yelled as he stood from his seat and stormed over toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Sam demanded angrily before his father turned toward him with a furious look in his eyes.

"To pick up a few things, I'll be back." John replied before walking out the front door and slamming it shut behind him.

Sam sighed angrily as he heard his fathers' truck roar to life in the parking lot just outside. But his attention however was quickly drawn to Dean as he walked toward his bed and sat on the end of it with the most miserable look Sam had ever seen in his life on his brothers' face.

If he were in wolf form - Sam thought, his tail would be between his legs.

"Don't worry about him, Dean." Sam said in a gentle voice, "He'll come around."

For a moment, Sam thought Dean had ignored his attempt at comfort. But then Dean drew in a deep breath before turning his saddened eyes on Sam.

"I know." Dean muttered softly.

"When you..." Dean continued before he cleared his throat loudly, obviously uncomfortable with whatever he was about to say, "when you tore apart those wolves the other day...how did you feel?"

Sam was completely taken aback. He hadn't expected Dean to bring that up at this moment. He knew that, that would become a topic for discussion some other time in the near future, but not right now.

Sam looked over at Jessica and then toward Bobby to find that they were looking back at him with curious looks in their eyes. He knew he couldn't lie to Dean about this, so Sam thought his words out carefully before speaking.

"Dean...what you need to know about that, is that, that wasn't my fault." Sam said softly, "I was pushed into that. Killing...us...is hard, Dean. We can either be killed with silver entering our bodies, through say an open cut - but that's like slow, painful poison...or removing the heart, or decapitation, or being set on fire."

Dean kept his eyes trained on his little brother, and nodded slowly in understanding as Sam continued.

"I didn't tear that wolf apart on purpose." Sam explained, knowing that Dean was speaking specifically of the one that was torn in half, "I grabbed his head, and was ready to go for a clean neck-break when his brother grabbed the other end of him and started tugging."

"So that was...an accident?" Dean asked sounding almost surprised.

Sam nodded simply, and Bobby laughed a little, causing all the eyes in the room to avert to him.

"That's one hell of a lucky accident boy!" Bobby said mirthfully, "Let's just hope that kinda luck saves you from that witch, huh?"

Sam smiled at Bobby, and then chanced another look at Dean.

Dean looked a little more hopeful, but still deeply saddened. Sam knew that Dean still needed more time to adjust.