04/19/2015
Dear Evie,
In a few days I will be 22 weeks. You will be here very soon and I can't contain my glee. I feel you moving inside me almost every day. Sometimes you keep me up at night because you are so active so I'll sing our lullaby and you will calm down and allow me to sleep.
Although the placenta previa seems to have gotten better on its own, my doctor still doesn't want me to go to crime scenes and she'd prefer that I stay off my feet as much as possible. I'm itching to go back into the field, but you are more important to me than my job.
I find myself frequently touching my bulging belly, wanting to be closer to you, hoping you know that I have my hand over you.
Well, my little Evie, I think it is time I told you a story. It's a story of true love. A story that is very dear to me and will hopefully help you understand me. It's the story of Katherine Beckett and Richard Castle. Your dad and me. After my mom died, I felt alone in the world. My dad was being beaten down by alcohol and I didn't know what to do anymore. One day, I went into a little bookstore and perused the titles. I ended up in the crime and mystery section and felt drawn to this one particular book. It just spoke to me. It was In a Hail of Bullets, one of your dad's earlier books. I pulled it off the shelf and brought it to a sitting area where I plopped into an armchair and began to read. I read and read, completely oblivious to the world. Your dad's words were tales of justice, survival, getting up when life kicks you down, and going on despite tragedy. They told me to not give up, to fight for life, and not let my circumstances get the better of me. A bookstore employee approached me, what felt like minutes after I began to read, and I looked up to see the store empty and darkness outside. I had been there for hours, completely engrossed in his words. I needed to buy the book; I wasn't going to let it sit on a shelf while I left. As I was leaving the store, I noticed a sign saying Richard Castle was going to be signing books at the store that weekend. I knew I needed to be there.
The weekend came around and I walked back to the bookstore. There was a line forming out the door, but I didn't care even though it was freezing outside. I needed to tell your dad how much the book affected me. As I moved closer and closer to him, I caught glimpses of him and felt my heart flutter in anticipation. He was so handsome, dreamy even. I was enamored instantly. My turn soon came and I handed him my book, but I was so tongue-tied and awestruck that I couldn't say what I wanted to say. He looked up at me, smiled his charming smile and asked for my name. I managed to squeak it out and before I knew it, I was being swept away by bookstore employees. I missed my chance and I was disappointed in myself. As I was leaving the store, I opened the book to where he signed and it said, "Kate - Your eyes are full of stories. – Richard Castle." My cheeks flushed and I smiled what felt like the first time in months.
Your dad, understandably, does not remember this first meeting, but it changed my life. I felt like I had a reason to get up in the morning. Your dad's words gave me hope and purpose. They saved me in one of my darkest periods. Your dad continues to save me from bad guys and even myself sometimes.
In the next entry little one, I will continue the story of your dad and me. Remember I will love you for always.
Love, Mom