Chapter 35 – Truth or Consequences

Once they had entered Doc's room he started in on her. "You back out on me now Alex and I swear to God I'll beat the blessed daylights out of you." Kate would have cowered from the tone of his voice, but not Alex, she laughed at him.

"That's something I would like to see you try to do." Alex chucked again as she looked about the room. "Were your clothes damaged as well as your bedding?" She asked as she moved to look in the bags he had left sitting on the bed.

He brushed his hand against his jacket thankful that he had placed the music box and ring in his jacket pocket for safety. "No." He replied sharply. "Alex, I refuse to be distracted. You better start talking." Hurt that she had so easily brushed off his threat, he tried to intimidate her by towering over her smaller form, but this tactic didn't seem to be working either. She was ignoring him as she snooped in his bags and began to remove his jackets and pants.

"Not until you pour me a drink." She replied while hanging his suits in the closet.

Exasperated by her nonchalant behavior, he walked to the liquor cabinet and poured two generous glasses of brandy. With a glass in each hand he turned to find her hovering over his second travel bag – the bag that contained his dental equipment.

Alex removed one of his books and the travel dental kit he had customized with his own hands. "I see I'm not the only one with secrets." The tone of her voice was bitter and sarcastic

Doc walked toward her and handed her a brandy. "My profession has never been a secret." He set down his glass on the bedside table before he replaced the items she removed.

"Really? I wasn't aware a smoky saloon was the idea place to practice dentistry." Her tone was more then sarcastic, it rang of truth, which was worse then her mockery.

"If you're trying to pick a fight you're on the correct path." He snapped.

"You started it." She replied sweetly as she sipped her drink.

"Are we going to talk or fight like alley cats?"

"What's the difference?" Alex asked with one brow raised.

"Alex, I swear…"

She looked hard at him for a moment, and then she turned, walked toward a small settee with matching chairs and sat down. "What do you want to know, John?"

"Everything." He said simply.

She laughed at him again and motioned for him to sit down. "Let's start with one question at a time."

Grabbing his drink, he took the seat across from her and suddenly found his mouth was as dry as cotton. He took a small sip of his brandy to brace his nerves. Then he reached into his jacket, removed the music box and gave the key a few twists to set the gears in motion. "Will you marry me, Alex?" He held his breath as he opened the lid, letting Fur Elise loose into the air as he presented the box to her.

His first question took her breath away, but the exquisite music box and the enclosed ring inside snatched away her reason. She tried to form an answer as she listened to Beethoven play, but the only sound she could make was a small squeak. She nervously cleared her throat as she glanced at the ring and then back to the eager look on his face. "That's not fair, John."

"Sometimes, Alex, I don't play fair." He set the music box down on the table between them and then he held the ring out for her to take. "Say you'll be my wife. Marry me."

Against her better judgment Alex took the ring from him and held it in the palm of her hand. She hadn't realized she was crying until her tears splashed across the gold and emerald setting making it glisten even more. "Why are you doing this to me?" She sobbed as she looked to him for an answer.

Doc paused at her reaction to his proposal. Oh, God, just like Mattie, he thought. He had expected an argument from her, even anger, but not tears. Briefly, he wondered why the two women he proposed to ended up crying instead of showing him the typical feminine squeal of delight followed by an accepting kiss he had read about in romance books. But he was determined not to let her tears distract him.

"Don't you like it? If you would prefer another ring we'll exchange it."

She vigorously shook her head as she pulled her eyes away from the ring to be confronted once more by his enthusiastic expression. "It's exactly the kind of ring I have always wanted. The music box and ring are lovely, John. Truly, I could never have imagined a more romantic proposal." She looked away from his face to focus on the ring once more. With one manicured finger she delicately reached out to slowly stroke the gold band.

Waiting for her to reply was growing more painful by the second. With each passing moment he could feel her refusal coming closer and closer. Desperate to clasp what remaining chance he had to keep her, he made one last plea. "I want you Alex. Stay with me."

He heard her take a deep breath, sniff loudly as she straightened her spine and lifted her head. "I'm sorry. My answer is no." Then she held out her palm for him to take back the ring.

Alex watched her rejection strike him as if she had physically hit him with her hand. He displayed a substantial degree of pain and anger before he jumped up from his chair and turned his back to her. She remained seated as she waited from him to compose his emotions.

She wanted to comfort him; to give him some peace of mind by revealing to him what was hidden in her heart, but she couldn't. Any commitment to this relationship was impossible. After her mission she would have to return home. It was not up to her to stay behind. It was very clearly forbidden in the rules and regulations she had been trained to know by heart. But even if the Guardian rules didn't exist there was still a no way she could abandon her world to live in his. There was no doubt in her mind she loved Doc. She had, however, noticed the well-chosen words of his proposal. I want you. Stay with me. Want did not equate to love. Obviously, Doc didn't feel the same way about her as she did for him and she refused to stay with a man who only wanted her.

To Alex, wanting something or someone was a need. Like the need for rest or the need for food. Once the need was fulfilled, one didn't want any longer. Love was eternal and boundless. When there was love between a man and woman, it had no beginning and no end, leaving you always in need of more. She had witness such a relationship first hand by observing her parents. When she had agreed to marry Malachi she had also been blessed with love in her marriage.

If only Doc loved her as she loved him, she might have considered taking a chance by breaking the rules to begin a new life as his wife.

If…

Such a small word with a tremendously painful impact.

Doc had tried to regain control over his mounting anger but failed. He spun around to scowl at her, full of fury at her blunt refusal. "Why?!"

She tried hard to disconnect herself from his pain, but the stabbing ache in her own heart made it extremely difficult to ignore. She swallowed the turbulent lump of emotion that was stuck in her throat and pushed herself to ignore her feelings. "We're going to have to move this process along or we'll be here all night. Do you have any other questions or not?" She looked at him for a moment more as if giving him time to decide if he did indeed have more questions to pose before she sharply looked away.

The music box had depleted its energy and was now sadly pinging and plucking Fur Elise to a slow death. He watched her place the ring carefully back into its velvet bed before closing the lid on Beethoven as well as any future he had hoped to have with her.

"This is so easy for you, isn't it? Have you no sentiment for me at all?" He was so angry and hurt he felt the warmth of fresh tears spring to his eyes.

"On the contrary, I have a great deal of feeling for you, John. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here now." She replied in a voice that dripped with feigned composure.

The quick manner in which she recovered her poise had taken him by complete surprise, leaving him struggling to interpret her behavior. Had he completely misunderstood her emotional involvement or was she playing some coy feminine game? Still, it was useless for him to try to figure things out now, his anger would only continue to interfere with his reasoning until he calmed down.

"Fine, have it your way." He huffed as he sat back down in the chair. She immediately tried to pass him the music box, but he pushed her hand away, and in a voice that seemed broken with sorrow he added, "Keep it for awhile, Alexis. We can come back to that question later."

She looked confused as she searched his face. For just a moment he thought saw a flash of regret in her eyes before she looked away and down at the silver box she held in her hand. With a shaky hand he reached for his brandy and emptied half the glass down his throat. A chemically induced feeling of warmth and control began to seep into his chest. Finally, he felt strong enough to continue the evening's program. He looked once more at Alex and saw she was still staring at the music box she held in her hand and was slowly caressing the two doves with one finger. Why Alex, he wondered. What is the real reason behind your motives?

"The man in the portrait, who is he?" He abruptly asked to snap her out of her reverie and to also vent some more of his anger at her. He looked down at her hands expecting to find her still holding the photograph. "Where is it?"

"The photo?" She asked with mocked innocence. "Oh, I guess I dropped it back in Angel's room." Her sickening sweet smile was back. "Sometimes, I don't play fair either."

He gave her a black look. "Just answer the fucking question."

"The man in the photograph was my husband. The picture was taken at his brother's estate in Scotland during our last vacation together. Two months later he was killed."

It was the last explanation he ever expected to hear. He had seriously thought it was a portrait of a jealous lover. Perhaps someone she was running away from who had now tracked her to Tombstone. "Then he wasn't the man who destroyed my room and left that photo pinned to the closet door?"

She scoffed at him. "What do you think?"

"Then why didn't your cousin tell me that?"

"Angel knows I get annoyed if he tries to speak for me. Considering the circumstances, I guess he felt this information would be better received if it came from me."

"Well… then who vandalized my room?"

"Perhaps it was Kate. Did that thought ever occur to you?"

Her quick mind surprised him. Like a professional strategist, she was sidestepping each and every maneuver he took. "No, I didn't." He tried to make a quick recovery. "Do you have an ex-lover in town? Is that why you came to Tombstone?"

"Yes." She said simply.

"Then he seems the most likely suspect. Why do you think he didn't break into my room?"

"I didn't say that. I simply pointed out that we both have ex-lovers who have motive and means to destroy your things."

Again she out maneuvered him. Thank God she doesn't play poker, or I'd be losing my shirt right about now. Perhaps it was time to change topics. "I won a horse in a poker game tonight Alex. As I was examining my new mare, I saw the Figure in Black just outside Fly's boarding house. Do you know anything about him?"

"What are you suggesting, Doc? That I dress in dark clothing and run around town rescuing people?"

"Do you?"

"Don't be absurd." She snapped. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

He studied her at length before he was satisfied with her answer. He looked away and down toward his hands. "Will you rethink my proposal?"

"John, I…."

He interrupted her before her rebuff could cut him to the quick. "Just think about it. That's all I'm asking."

This was one promise she could keep. Think about his proposal? She doubted she would be able to think about anything else. "All right, John. I'll think about it."

"Thank you." For the first time that evening his smile contained a small measure of warmth. "Please say you'll stay in town while you think it over?"

Slowly she shook her head. "I will have to leave when Angel and William do. My time here in town is entirely up to them."

"Why don't you stay behind then? I'll take you home later. Or, let me come with you when you leave."

"That's not possible."

"Why?" He begged. She looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. "Explain it to me, Alex." He asked so softly she barely heard him.

"I can't."

He got up from his chair and sat next to her on the small sofa as he took her hand in his and asked again. "I need to know."

Her eyes searched his face as she considered how best to answer his questions. "John, I'm not supposed to be here. The decision is not up to me. When the time comes, I must leave to correct the imbalance."

"What does that mean? What imbalance?"

She just shook her head and looked away from him. "That's all I can tell you. I'm sorry."

Frustrated and confused by her riddle he looked down at their hands entwined together. They looked well together, like a matched set. They both had long-shapely fingers and manicured nails. His mother had always told him his long fingers were made to strike each difficult piano key with ease and grace, and he wondered briefly if Alex played as he did.

There was so much he didn't know about her. The more he became aware of the gap, the more he wanted to discover all her hidden secrets, and as each day passed he was more aware of what little time remained for them to be together. What would he do after she was gone?

He caressed her hand gently and rubbed his thumb over each and every callus he found. He was enjoying this quiet moment with her, neither fighting nor speaking; just sitting in silence had a calming affect on his shattered nerves. She seemed to be enjoying the moment as well. He could visibly see her body relax with each caress of his hand.

Without thinking, he began to count the number of calluses his thumb traced on her palm and fingers. When he reached the sixth raised patch of skin a cold shiver passed through him. This was not the first time he had felt the rough skin on her palm. That night in the Oriental, when she had first refused him, was when he originally noticed the calluses, but he had been too drunk for the fact to register at the time.

Slowly, he turned her palm over, fully aware she was anxiously watching what he was doing. The evidence he saw clearly confirmed his suspicions. Rough patches on the palm of her hand, evidence of months or perhaps years of use holding heavy pots and pans, a broom, a shovel or … a sword. When she tried to withdraw her hand he increased his hold. With his free hand he unbuttoned the cuff of her long sleeve. This time she violently tried to free her wrist. But John only squeezed harder.

"What are you doing?" She gasped as she set the music box to one side in order to fight him better. His grip on her wrist increased to the point where she felt the bones grind against one another. She gasped again as the pain he was inflicting urged her to cry out.

"I want to look at your arm, and if I have to break your wrist to do so I will. So, I suggest you hold still." He slid the white cloth of her sleeve upward to reveal the dark circular tattoo hidden underneath. The design was a wreath of thorns entwined by a vine of roses and in the center was a cross.

His head jerked up. "Explain this Alex?" He demanded.

His tone of voice and threat to break her wrist had pushed her over the edge. "It's a tattoo." She spit with venom.

"I'm aware it's a tattoo." He replied with a tightly controlled voice. "Why do you have it? Wait…let me rephrase that, why do you and your late husband have matching tattoos?"

"That is none of your damn business! Now, let go of my arm, or pay the consequences!"

Alex spoke with such malice a small stirring of fear began to awaken in his chest. Reluctantly, Doc released her. "Do you have one on the other arm as well?"

She was immediately off the sofa and storming towards the door. Instead of answering, she called over her shoulder, "Goodnight John."

Alex hadn't felt this angry since Malachi's death. If she stayed another moment she would do or say something she would regret later, but before she could reach the doorknob he was on her.

Doc physically picked her up off her feet, turned her around and slammed her back against the door with tremendous force. His assault momentarily dazed her. She found she was pinned. His hands gripped like two clamps under her arms. His thumbs dug painfully into the frontal muscles of her chest, effectively neutralizing her arms. When she looked up at his face she could see he was in a full rage.

She could still knee him hard between the legs, which would end this battle in a second. For a moment she considered doing just that, but deep down inside she didn't want to hurt him, physically anyway. Emotionally, the woman in her wanted to strike him fatally through the heart. "What are you going to do now John, beat me as well?"

Slowly, he pressed his body firmly against hers, and Alex found his anger wasn't the only thing that had become stirred by their fight. She figured he would force himself on her and had already made up her mind to be cold and unmoved by his ardor. But instead of force, his head slowly lowered and he kissed her gently and passionately. When she refused to respond, he began to tease her mouth. He flicked his tongue across her upper and lower lip several times before placing multiple tiny kisses against her mouth. Then he bit her lower lip and then sucked on it gently before dipping his tongue into her mouth to ardently seek hers.

Alex tried to ignore him, thinking if she remained unresponsive he would stop and leave her alone, but her mouth seemed to have a mind of its own. She met him halfway and was rewarded when he slowly rocked his hips against her groin.

He released her one arm, picked up her leg to rest it against his hip, and positioned himself against the aching flesh between her legs. She shuddered and wrapped her leg tighter around him. He rocked into her again, and again, and yet again. From far off she heard herself moan.

"Still feel like fighting?" He whispered as he continued to rub against her.

She was almost beyond answering him. Words were impossible to form but she did managed to shake her head no.

"I thought as much." He replied as he picked her up and carried her to the bed.

A/N: Thanks for reading. Don't forget to leave me a review. ttfn