Previously…

Slughorn's office was nicely decorated. There were paper chains that changed colour every couple of minutes hanging from corner to corner and balloons sat in random places along the walls. At the top of the room, there was a large table covered by a red silk cloth on top of which sat plenty of refreshments and food. There were purple, blue, green and red lights which shone down onto the dance floor where everyone was gathered.

Lily looked distracted for a moment, her eyes flickering around the room and Remus didn't have to follow her gaze to know that she was looking towards James. She looked at the ground for half a second before meeting Remus's eye and forcing a smile.

"I'm okay."

Remus heaved a deep sigh and pulled her closer. Lily wound her arm around his neck and Remus tightened his grip around her waist. Lily rested her head on Remus's shoulder and mirrored his sigh. She blinked back the tears that threatened to leak from her eyes. Remus kissed her head gently and brought their hands into his chest.

"Don't let him slip away," Remus whispered in Lily's ear. "He wants you just as much as you want him."

Sirius let out one loud bark of laughter before plunging towards her and capturing her lips in a kiss. Judith felt herself smile and Sirius smiled too as Judith's hands moved to cup his face. They broke apart and rested their foreheads together with huge grins on their faces. The dim lights flashed around them and people laughed loudly, their spirits high as they shared stories with their friends. But none of that mattered to either Judith or Sirius. They had each other.

"I love you too."

Their kiss was interrupted when the room plunged into darkness and a loud, high pitched scream sounded throughout the room.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Sirius whipped round just in time to hear Bellatrix scream the curse.

"NO!"

He didn't have time to register what Judith was doing as she pushed herself in front of him, letting the green jet of light hit her square in the chest.

Everything happened in slow motion. Judith fell, her body limp and cold, her hair falling down over her shoulders, her eyes closed and pale skin even paler. Sirius caught her before she hit the ground and his knees buckled, hitting the floor hard so as not to let Judith slip from his arms. Her head was nestled in the crook of Sirius's elbow, his other arm tightening around the front of her waist. She wasn't light and pliable in his arms but instead a deadweight, lying limp on his lap.

"No," Sirius whispered, bringing his arm up from Judith's waist to touch her cheek with his hand to turn her face to look at him. "No," he repeated, more frantically this time whenever she made no move of recognition.

Sirius could feel his chest tightening and he hadn't even realised that Dumbledore had arrived along with other members of the Order of the Phoenix, ridding the party of Death Eaters. Nobody had noticed Sirius yet, hugging Judith to his body from their position on the dance floor. The green lights flickered and twinkled down on them, a mere reflection of the jet of green that had just struck Judith.

Sirius's hands started trembling as reality sunk into his bones, deep into his skin and marked itself as a painful scar on his heart. He sucked in a breath and shook Judith gently, saying her name over and over again to try and get a response.

"Padfoot."

Sirius shook more. He didn't know whether it was from shaking Judith's lifeless form or from the tremors running through his body.

"Padfoot."

Sirius choked back a sob. He knew it was useless.

"Sirius."

He knew she was gone.

Sirius took a deep breath as a tear slipped down his cheek. It made its way to his jaw before it dripped off, falling hot and warm onto Judith's cold skin. Sirius bent over the body in his arms, his right arm grappling at her waist, his left cradling her head tenderly. He clutched Judith protectively, holding her tightly and vowing to himself to never let her go.

James's hand squeezing tightly on Sirius's shoulder was the only thing that brought him back to the moment he was living. However, he wasn't quite sure how he was living, given how it felt as if his heart had just been ripped out of his chest.

Sirius looked up blindly with angry, hurt, grief-filled tears blurring his vision and running down his cheeks. He could vaguely make out a crescent of people in front of him; Professor McGonagall at the very left edge and Professor Dumbledore on the right. Peter stood beside Dumbledore with his gaze fixed on Sirius. Sarah was beside Peter, her face an expression of shock as she stared at the scene in front of her. Lily and Alice were beside her, holding onto each other; Alice's face was buried in Lily's shoulder and Lily was rubbing Alice's back comfortingly through her own tears. Between the girls and Professor McGonagall was Remus, looking frazzled after being stunned but still watching on sombrely as he squeezed Lily's shoulder tightly. James was behind Sirius, his hand the only anchor that Sirius had to a life without Judith.

Sirius took a deep, shaky breath as he turned his head to meet James's sad eyes.

"She's dead, Prongs," Sirius gasped, still holding Judith's body in his arms. James nodded once, never looking away from his best friend. "She's dead."

"I know," James's voice was hoarse from emotion and trying to hold back his tears. "I'm so sorry."

"She's dead," Sirius figured that saying it more might make him realise how horribly real the situation was. His grip was tight on Judith and her head was pressed into his chest. If she'd been alive, his fingers were so firm that they might have left bruises.

James nodded again and he swallowed hard. "I know that, Sirius. You need to let Professor Dumbledore take her now to the Healers."

"No," Sirius practically growled. "I'm not letting her go."

"I'm not asking you to, mate," James's voice cracked. "I'm asking you to hand her over, not to let her go."

Sirius turned his teary gaze back down to Judith's face. It was as perfect and wonderful as always and if he really wanted to, Sirius could so easily let his mind slip back into the days Judith's head had rested in that position before. He could so easily pretend that she'd fallen asleep or that they were lying together, their hearts beating as one.

"I can't," Sirius choked.

James increased the pressure of his hand on Sirius's shoulder. "I need you to be strong for me, Padfoot, and believe that you can."

Sirius's tears fell heavier and heavier and his body became wracked in sobs. He swallowed hard and lifted his hand to push the dark, dark hair out of Judith's face one last time. His hand lingered on her cheek, his thumb tracing a gentle path along her cheekbone. Sirius gasped back a sob as he lowered his head and dropped one final kiss to Judith's forehead.

"I love you," he breathed the promise so quietly and so gently against her skin.

Sirius looked directly towards Dumbledore whenever he looked up again and the headmaster moved quickly and swiftly, motioning to a team of Healers that Sirius couldn't see lingering in the doorway. As they took Judith's body from Sirius, the room suddenly filled with the gasping sobs of the girls. Alice let out a heart breaking wail and Lily turned her head into Remus's chest whenever Alice fell to her knees, dragging Sarah down with her.

Sirius stayed on the floor a moment more, staring at the place Judith had been lying seconds before. He sniffed and wiped his cheeks furiously with the sleeve of his shirt before pushing himself to his feet. He shoved through the tight crescent of people, ignoring Professor McGonagall's comforting hand on his shoulder. He walked swiftly towards the door and exited the classroom without looking back once.

Lily wasn't sure what to do with herself the next couple of days. She went from long periods of staring blankly at a wall to comforting Alice and Sarah to sitting alone on her bed with the curtains closed around her, staring silently at the ceiling.

She ventured down to the Great Hall to eat breakfast and dinner but she tended to skip lunch and all of her classes. The whole castle had been in mourning the first few days after Judith died but after the initial shock, the majority of students went back to normal as if nothing horrific had ever occurred in the first place.

As Lily lay in her bed on the last day of term, she wasn't sure if she was physically able to lift her head off the pillow to get up and walk down the stairs to the end of term feast. Her whole body ached from being constantly tense over the past week but also from the dull hurt in her chest; it was as if a steel fist was pulling and twisting at her heart.

Lily wasn't sure if she'd ever smile again. She didn't know if the relentless flow of tears would ever cease. She doubted her life would ever feel full and whole and happy again. She didn't realise that losing a best friend was the hardest thing that she would ever experience. She didn't know that what would hurt her even more is watching her friends grieve along with her in just as much emotional pain.

As still more tears pricked at the back of Lily's eyes, she sighed heavily, blinked them out of the way and sat up in her bed. She pulled open the curtains so as she could get up completely. She exchanged a brief, painful smile with Sarah who was sitting up on her bed with a book open on her lap. There was no movement from Alice's bed, the curtains still drawn tight and of course, Judith's bed was empty and cold, as it had been for the past week and would remain to be for the next year.

Lily gathered her clothes and walked out of the dorm to the bathrooms. All the stalls were empty which wasn't surprising considering it wasn't even six o'clock in the morning. She stepped into a shower and let the hot, steaming water roll over her body, ridding her mind of all thoughts and allowing her tears to fall. This had been Lily's morning routine for a week now. With a heavy heart and a tired brain, she wondered if it would ever end.

Everything was too loud at the feast. Everyone was too happy. Nobody looked upset. Nothing looked amiss.

Something looked amiss.

There was no one smiling at Sirius from further down the table. There was nobody laughing loudly in his ear. There was no one grinning at something he'd said. There was nobody planting a small, chocolate flavoured kiss on his cheek during dessert.

There was a big part of the feast missing.

"You need to eat something, mate," Remus said from opposite Sirius. He looked down at his ice cream and jelly and simply shrugged.

"Mum will have a fit if she finds out how little you've eaten this week," James agreed with Remus. He nudged Sirius's elbow with his own.

"Honeycomb flavour as well," Peter encouraged Sirius around a mouthful of his own. "Honeycomb ice cream is life."

Sirius looked around at his friends. They'd been the best to him over the course of the week. They'd stood beside him at the funeral; they'd given him his space whenever he requested it and sat with him whenever he didn't. As Sirius looked at all of their faces, their eyes sincere and expressions genuine, he knew they were only trying to help him. They only wanted what was best.

But sometimes Sirius wanted to do what wasn't the best.

Sirius looked over Remus's shoulder and saw Regulus staring back at him; his eyes were wide and his expression was sorry. Sirius blinked and looked away. He threw his spoon down on the table, stood up and walked out of the hall.

James walked through the empty corridors after the feast had finished. He, Remus and Peter had left Sirius alone for a while but the common room was too crowded and too small a space for James's thoughts to fit in. He'd told Remus he was going to clear his head and that he'd be back before going down to the carriages that took them to the Hogwarts' Express.

James walked slowly through the hallways, his hands stuffed in his pockets and head looking down at his feet. His mind was full of thoughts. He thought of Lily and Alice and Sarah. Every time he saw them, his heart ached; they looked so sad and they were being so strong. Many times that he'd seen Lily sitting on her own in the common room, he'd wanted to move to her and give her a hug. He'd wanted to tell her it would be okay; he'd wanted to give some form of comfort, even if it was small.

James's thoughts flashed to his best friend. He had tried everything to make him smile, to make him feel even a small bit better but nothing was working. Sirius remained a shell of the person he was a week ago.

Then there was the thing that was permanently on James's mind. He still couldn't shake the picture of Sirius holding Judith's limp body; he couldn't get rid of the sounds of Alice's sobs or Dumbledore's quick mutterings to the Healers as they walked Judith away and out of their lives forever.

James blinked himself out of his reverie as a classroom door banged shut just ahead of him, a flash of red hair disappearing behind it. James's heart leapt to his throat; he stood frozen in the middle of the corridor. He swallowed hard and stepped forward, opening the door just an inch.

Lily stood in the opposite corner. Her back was to the door and her shoulders were hunched over and shaking. She sniffed and let out a sob as James let the door fall closed behind him. Lily gasped and turned abruptly to face James. James's heart pounded and his face fell whenever her saw Lily's tear stricken face.

"Lily –"

"Leave me alone, James," Lily sniffed, her face growing red.

James took a few steps further into the room. "Are you okay, Lily?"

"Do I look like I'm okay?" Lily snapped furiously, more tears falling from her eyes. "Just leave me be."

James swallowed and shook his head. He walked ever further towards Lily, reaching out to pull her into his arms.

"No!" Lily exclaimed, taking a step back and holding out her hand to prevent James coming any closer. "I told you to leave."

"Lily," James's voice was soft. "You don't have to be strong all the time."

"Yes I do," Lily swallowed, wiping her cheeks with the sleeves of her robes. "I have friends who need me."

"Lily," James said again. He risked another step forward; Lily's outstretched hand moved to cover her mouth to keep a sob in. "It's okay."

Lily shook her head but her crying stopped her from saying anything coherent.

"You don't have to be strong for me, Lily," James said gently. He took one final step forward and curled his hand around the one she had pressed against her mouth. He brought it down to her side and used his other hand to push a strand of her ginger hair behind her ear. "I'm here for you."

Lily gasped as a fresh round of tears fells from her cheeks. James let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her tightly against his chest. Lily grabbed onto the back of his robes; her tears fell onto the fabric of his top.

"Never leave me," Lily choked through her sobs.

"Never," James tightened his arms around Lily and kissed the top of her head before he repeated the promise. "Never."

C'EST FINI!

What a marathon…

My first ever fanfiction is completely finished and there are people I need to thank. One would be one of my favourite people ever, Mary, whom I love more than words. Another is Loads of Randomness for reviewing on absolutely every chapter, saying the nicest things. And last but not least, to all of you who have read this fic and have had faith in it from the very beginning, it would be nothing without you.

It's strange to think I started this at the beginning of learning my GCSEs and almost two years later, I've finished it just as I'm finishing my GCSEs. We've come a full circle.

I would say I'm sorry for a bit of a sad chapter but tbh, I'm not really and I'm so glad to have this fic out of the way.

THANK YOU!

Hope you enjoyed the journey.

LupinsGirl98 xxxxx