"u tink u can kill me?" sed harod
"yes i tink i can" sed josef
"DEN COME ON" sed harod an ran at josef slashin. josef blocked wit da staff bcuz he cudnt use magik bcuz it wuz an antimagik nife.
"I CANT USE MAGIK!" sed josef
"no you cant" sed harod. de josef thru harod 2 da ground. he was about 2 bash harods hed open but harod doged an stabbed at josef. but he doged an hit harods leg an broke it. den he made a wand blade an cut harods had off an da nife fell thru da ship into da river.
"i dont need dis staff 2 kill u" sed josef kikin da staff aside. den he clicked his heels an did a lil turn. "RAINBOW!" he sed.
"NOOOOOOO" sed harod as he caght on rainbow colored fire an esploded like fireworks.
"we got sum prisioners" sed a hufflpuff wit slytherins in chains.
"looks like were gonna have dat gay butt sex party afterall" sed steven.
"u know what dey say" sed josef "revenge is a dish best served with gay butt sex!"
"NOOOOOOOOO" sed da slytherins.
den as dey were about 2 put dere smelly cocks into da slytherns assholes dey herd a voice.
"LET MY PEOPLE GO" it wuz... MOSES!
"why are u fiting?" he sed "do u want sltytherin 2 b like gobblygoo one of da original houses da was destroyed in da war between da houses?"
"but dey tryed 2 kill us!" sed steven with a slytherin in a big bear hug with his cock inches away from his buthole.
"dat may b" sed moses "but we shud all get along. josef! u shud no better!"
"but dey killed da gay samariten!" sed josef
"WUT" sed moses "WHO DID DIS!"
"harod potter"
"well were is he?" sed moses
"hes dead" sed josef
"good" sed moses "we dont need his type at hogwatrs"
"but i gess dat mens u dont have a headmaster" he sed
"hey dats rite" sed a hufflepuff
"i say dis" sed moses "since da slytherins attacked hufflepuff from now on only a hufflepuff can b hed of slytherin. an since da hufflepuffs fought da slytherins only a slytherin can b hed of hufflepuff."
"does dat meen ull b r new hedmaster" sed steven
"yes" sed moses
"den who will be r hedmaster" sed a slytherin wit bradberrys can up his buthole.
"some1 who has shown grate courage" sed moses
"who is dat" sed josef
"its u josef" sed moses
"ME" sed josef
"yes" sed moses "now we must stop fitin. dere is an even bigger battle takin place rite as we speek."
"wut" sed josef
"vadermorts fitin jesus an turtles in truble" sed moses
"RELEASE DA PRISINORS" sed josef
"TO WAR" sed josef an moses together as da slytherins an hufflepuffs climmed on2 da ship.
"fabulous" sed steven.
"DAMN" sed vadermort
"FIRE" sed josef an all da ships turned dere canons an fired at vadermort.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sed vadermort an dey all hit him and esploded on him. but... DEY DIDNT RLY! he had caut dem all and he thru dem back at da ships!
"wut" sed josef jumpin up just in time. da balls went thru da ships but dey didnt sink bcu dey still had sum life in dem.
"OFF DA DECK" sed josef .
"GET DEM" sed vadermort an den hundreds and hundreds of deatheatters came out of da trees and bushes wit guns an wand blades and swords an missle launchers.
while da hufflepuffs an slytherins ran toward da detheatters josef looked up an sed "RAINBOW" an made a rainbow up to vadermort. he he slid up it wit da rainbow between his butcheeks.
"josef! i new ud cum" sed jesus who wuz a lil bit on fire. his hair wuz smokin an his clothes were ripped so u cud c his big muscles
"turtle wuddahya doin here" sed josef
"im just ridin around on jesus" i sed
"HEY! U NEVER LET ME DO DAT!" sed josef
"u want a differnt type of ride" sed jesus
"lets blast dat bignose muthafukker back to hell were he came from" sed jesus
"i like dat" sed josef
den... from da fite below... some1 jumped up 1000000 feet 2 were we were wit 2 wandbladse in his hands an cut da dollabill in2 2 25 dolla bills.
"WUT" sed vadermort
"JUDAS ITS U" sed jesus
"hope u didnt miss me 2 much" sed judas an den fell back 1000000 feet in2 da battlefeild were he brought down his wrath on ani poor muthafukka who got in his way.
down on da battlefeld...
2 knittin needles were flyin around pokin ppls eyes out an a magikal string of yarn wuz stranglin ppl. it wu da patronis of mary margerine!
den a detheater kicked her an she fell down
"MY NAILS" sed mary margerine den a pair of needles stabbed da guy in da balls an nailed him 2 da moon.
vadermort wuz tryin 2 keep his balence on da 2 bills
"nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn" he sed
jesus thru a big ball at him but he bloked it wit da sord.
josef shot a rainbow at him but he bloked it wit da sord but it turned da sord colorful an flowers grew out of it.
"DAM" sed vadermort
"DIE" he sed pointin at josef. but osef relfected it bak at him an it ripped thu his shoulder. but da shoulder gre bak agin. but den a big red ball hit him in da face an esploded. now his close were on fire showin in his big mussles. but not rly cuz he didnt have any.
as da cloak burned away jesus saw it. "SNAPE" he sed
"BLAST" sed vadermort while his small wite cock flopped around in da air. even josef didnt want to look at it.
"ewwwwwwwww" sed josef
"JESUS CHRIST ULL PAY 4 DIS" sed vadermort. den he closed his hands an opened dem an litnin flew out.
"WUT" sed jesus an he cudnt doge dem all. he was gettin hit left an rite.
"JESUS NO" sed josef but den got hit by litnin right in his. he got flown bak doin cartweels. den he hit da gorund wit such force dat it made a crater an vaporized alot of ppl.
by dis time da detheatter dat mary margerine had nailed 2 da moon wuz flyin bak 2 earth as a flamin dead body.
"NO" sed mary margerine an judas
"YES" sed da detheatters
"VICTORY IS MINE" sed vadermort his lil wit cock floppin around in glee.
snape wuz standin up on his 2 dolla bills laughin at his victory. dere were more detheaters den slytherins or hufflepuffs. jesus an josef were both badly hurt. it looked like we were gonna loose. but den...
trupets started playin a da gyriffondoors were marchin ova da hill. at da front wit da sord of gryfindor wuz issac (u havnt met him yet but hes da hed of gryfondoor). an runnin up bside him wuz da picture of abraham lincon attached 2 a robot with 3 legs an 2 machine gun arms. "tell da devil in hell i sed hats off 2 ya" he sed an started gunnin dem down from behind.
den up da river sailin thru da ruins of da hufflepuff ships was an arch... an on it... wuz... NOAH AN DA RAVINCLAWS!
"u destroyed r home u lil bastard" sed noah "normally we wud haf 2 of every animel on dis thing... but today we have someden a little different" den da monsters from babel tower came rushin out of da ark. dere were elefents wit dragen heds insted of trunks an dere were zombies an dragens an vampire werewolfs. an da ravinclaws were runnin bside dem wit guns and wands and grenades.
i was in da middle of da detheaters. i had been fitin so hard dat my mussles were gleemin wit sweat even more. dere were mountains of detheater bodies on eitehr side of me.
"thank god" sed david
"yeh" sed judas
an den we ran wit new energy in2 da detheters. i wuz lookin 4 jesus cuz i hadnt seen him in a while. i found him on da ground smokin.
vadermort waz up in da air throwin litnin down on everybody.
"jesus! r u alrite" i sed. he looked at me all week like
"im pretty baet up" he sed "i better just give up"
"GIVE UP?" i sed "u cant do dat ur da gratest wiserd of dis time"
"im only one of da gratest wiserds of dis time" he sed "da odder is josef. an vadermort beet us both"
"no he didnt" i sed 'ur still alive. u can beet him. if u try. i believe in u."
"u believe in me?" sed jesus
"we all do" i sed "me an mary margerine an judas an david an josef an abraham lincon"
"dats rite" sed lincon gunin down sum detheters. den he wakked ova 2 jesus an got on his robot knees an put a machine gun arm on jesuss shoulder.
"for score an years ago i wuz in a predicament like dis. but did i give up? NO. an if i could have founded da jews an found gryfondoor u can defeet dis cracker wit a small cock" he sed.
"... yeah... YEAH" sed jesus "I CAN BEET HIM"
den he flu up 2 were vadermort wuz. "JOSEF CAN U HERE ME"
"RAINBOW" sed josef outta da crater an flu up 2 vadermort.
"LETS TRY ONE MORE TIME" sed jsesu
"ok" sed josef. an he did.
"BACK 4 MORE" sed vadermort still naked
"yeah" sed jesus
"WELL HIT ME WIT UR BEST SHOT" sed vadermort. an dey did.
vadermort wu thowin dark magik an litnin lik a machine gun. he had his sord out redy 2 cut dem in half. den... as he swung... dey flew under him an pulled da 25 dollar bills out from under him an he fell down 10000 feet to da ground in da middle of da fight.
everyone turned. dey werent lookin at his face. dey were lookin at his small wite cock. 4 a long time no one sed anything bcuz dey were suprised. den some1 started gigglin. den all da detheaters started laughin. den da gryfindoors. den da ravinclaws. den da hufflepuffs. den da slytherins. soon everyone in da whole skool was laughin at him.
issac wuz pointin at his little cock an laughin. "LOOK AT IT! ITS SO SMALL!"
abraham lincon wuz pointin at it wit his machine gun arm. "ITS SO SMALL EVEN I CUDNT SHOOT IT!" den he fell ova laughin.
vadermort covered himself up and turned red. den he started runnin away cryin.
"NOW" sed jesus an josef. den dey both shot dere magik togedder 2 make a giant rainbow hole (which is like a black hole only rly colorful). some of da hufflepuffs got excited an jumped in expected gay butt sex but got killed instead. den josef took out da staff an parted it like da red sea so dat dere were two rainbow holes.
"ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG" sed vadermort as he got ripped in two different directions. his lil cock got ripped off. den his leg. den his other leg. den his arms. den his body until all dat was left was his hed. den it esploded and went into different black holes. den da two holes rammed togedder to make da biggest esplotion ever. people were blown away. rainbow flames liked da moon an gave it a rainbow colored halo. trees got ripped up. all da mountains everywere had avalanches.
down in hell da devil got out of bed wit his red night cap. "what da hell is goin on up dere?" he sed hittin da celilin wit his broom.
when da smoke cleared everyone got up. jesus an josef were lookin at da crater amased.
"dey did it" sed someone in da crowd dat no one cud see.
den dere was a long scilence.