I do not own American Horror Story: Freak Show.
But I really love these characters. As if you couldn't tell.
Jimmy, Not Moses
Yet to Learn
He had been sound asleep, contentedly cozied up in bed with his darlings.
But something had awakened him.
He didn't know what.
After going to bathroom, he'd slipped into the kitchen for a drink of water.
Sipping it, his dark eyes had absently wandered the still backyard.
And in the dim light of the full moon, had seen her.
Sitting in the swing.
Looking happier and healthier than he remembered ever seeing her.
In that same blue dress she'd worn when she visited him in the hospital.
That's how he knew she wasn't really there.
No matter how much he wanted her to be.
But he went to her anyway.
And sat beside her, as if this were nothing more than a casual midnight awakening and reunion.
"Hey, Ma."
She turned and smiled at him, her face full of quiet joy and contentment.
"Hey, son."
They remained there, quiet and still for a few moments in companiable silence, listening to the night sounds of the bullfrogs and the wind tinkling the chimes.
Dogs barking afar off.
And their own heartbeats.
Jimmy didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to feel.
Why she was here?
Was it a portent of darkness? Was he about to die? Was he already dead?
Or was it something else altogether?
His ma, with her full, healthy, brown beard, seemed relaxed and calm.
And since he had always tried to have faith in her in life, he decided to do the same now.
And waited.
When she did speak, her voice with its distinct Baltimore accent was just as he remembered and loved it.
"You've done well, son."
She sounded very pleased but to his relief, not all that surprised.
As if one of the rewards of death was knowing the future she was not a part of. Seeing her loved ones and knowing their fates.
"Thanks, Ma."
He wanted to ask why are you here, but he didn't.
Because truthfully, at the moment, it was enough that she was.
And his Ma had never been one to press. She would tell when she was ready.
So he continued to just take comfort in her presence. That warm, reassuring presence he had missed so much.
And then she spoke again, echoing bits of conversation they'd had so long ago.
But in a much different, more satisfactory light.
"Moses, leading the Israelites."
The comment embarrassed him a bit.
Mostly because he hadn't earned it.
He shook his head diffidently.
"I didn't really lead them. I was weak, lost. They led me."
Ma shrugged, as if the details were inconsequential.
"Don't matter. That's what family does. Take care of each other. Back and forth. You've taken care of them too, haven't you?"
He nodded.
"Some. A little. Yeah."
She took his chin in one warm, generous hand, and tilted his face up to meet her strong, clear, blue eyes.
"Point is, you've done good, Jimmy. And I'm proud of you."
And she was. it was painted all over her handsome face and shining out of her soul.
He relished the love in her gaze, relished her touch.
Relished her just being there.
He had missed her so.
"How are you, Ma?" he asked, suddenly feeling foolish and childish.
She smiled.
"Me? Oh, I'm good. Aches and pains all gone. Busy too. Full house every night. But everybody's getting along and you would believe even Elsa's being good? No hissy fits, no deadly tantrums. I think it's 'cause she's got her Italian (she pronounced it 'eye-talian') boyfriend there to finally make her happy again."
She paused before continuing, a good-natured smirk on her face.
"And she can actually sing! Finally sounds now like she always thought she did."
Ethel Darling shook her head, winking knowingly at her son.
"Still wears that god-awful blue eye shadow though."
They chuckled together and Jimmy felt like this was the way it should always be between them.
Would always be.
Then Ethel changed topic.
"Seen your baby in there."
He blinked at her in confusion.
"You've . . . seen her? But she's still . . . she's not . . ."
Ethel smirked, cutting her eyes toward her dim son.
"Well, who do you think sent her to ya?"
She let him flounder around in this new concept for a moment before continuing.
"Yep, Leader and Creator of the whole kit-n-caboodle came right up to me with her in his arms."
Ethel dropped her voice into a deep, more mannish rumble, tinged with anticipation and pride.
"'What do you think, Ethel,' he says to me with a happy grin. 'You think they'll love her?'"
Ethel paused, running a fond hand through her son's sleep-tousled hair.
"And I says I to him, I says, 'Oh without a doubt. She's just right, sir. Just right.'"
Jimmy didn't know incorporeal spirits were capable of making jokes.
"Ma, are you pulling my leg?" he asked skeptically.
She grinned wider at him, every honest bone in her body smiling.
"Not in the least, son. 'S all true, every bit."
She waited, his patient ma, as he attempted to absorb this baffling revelation.
"Well," Jimmy finally ventured slowly. "Is she . . . the baby . . . is she . . . okay?"
Ethel's eyes practically glowed with pride.
"She's absolutely perfect, son. Gonna be beautiful and sharp with your charm and wit and gift of gab."
Jimmy tried again. He didn't want to ask, he couldn't help but to ask.
"But . . . is she . . . does she . . ."
Ethel laid a comforting hand on her son's shoulder.
"She's just perfect, Jimmy. Now . . . what do you think that means?"
He flailed about within himself, trying to think. Think like Ma. Think like her Creator and Leader with which she'd apparently been conversing.
He couldn't.
He was too human.
He finally gave up.
"I . . . I don't know."
Ethel smiled fondly at him.
"Well, then I guess you've still got a few things to learn," she remarked gently. "And that's okay. You'll figure it out when you get there."
Jimmy pondered this for a moment and Ethel Darling let him.
"And don't you go naming her after me," she admonished abruptly, as if reading his thoughts. "Give her a good name, for Pete's sake, hear?"
Jimmy nodded obediently and she smiled again.
The comfortably round woman rose then and stretched.
"Well, better get going. Almost show time."
The little boy inside Jimmy immediately reached out for her.
"Ma . . . don't . . ."
She held up her hand to kindly stop his words.
"No, Jimmy. Not that. You know better. You know I'm always here. Right with you. You just gotta know where to look for me."
She tilted her head, as if drinking him in, pride and love radiating from her broad face.
"My boy . . . my wonderful boy . . . I love you, Jimmy . . ."
He refused to cry, refused to allow her to break apart in his vision, refused to waste these last few seconds with her in sadness.
So he smiled for her.
He smiled for his Ma.
"I love you too, Ma."
Then she was gone.
He sat a bit longer.
Under the moon.
Under the stars.
Under the watchful eye of Whoever might be out there.
And silently thanked It for the mysterious occurrence that had just taken place.
Then after a while of this quiet contemplation, he went back inside and cuddled up next to his darlings.
Softly laid a grateful arm across the swelling belly of his baby daughter.
And went back to sleep.
"There is no real ending. It's just the place where you stop the story." ― Frank Herbert
Yes, there could be, and is, so much more to tell. Happiness, sadness, strife, and peace. So the story is never truly over. This is just where I'm stopping this particular one.
To those of you who know me and my life, this chapter was written before my life event in May. And I'm really glad it was because this chapter gave me just a touch more of strength to face it and continue to face the unknown.
And to those of you who don't know me, I hope you enjoyed this chapter simply for what it is. :)
Thank you all for reading this story. I hope it has been satisfying and enjoyable.
Thanks in particular to haily94, midnightrebellion86, DinahRay, Bumblebee93, and The Cry-Wank Kid for so loyally reviewing for so long! This is officially the longest fanfic I've ever written with 'The Long Game' being one chapter less.
And thanks to White Demon Love Story for adding your support as well. :)
Anyway, sending positive waves out to you all. And thanks again.:)