Chapter Thirty-four

Laying on her side Sam hugged a plush pillow to her chest. She'd given up on the door long ago. The creature who had locked it knew everything she did, making it impossible to unlock. Tears slipped from her bright eyes. However they weren't tears of self pity.

Sam winced as Ki'ya cried out again. Her screaming turned once again to bitter weeping. Sam had tried talking to her, tried comforting her, even tried singing to her, but nothing worked. Whatever pain Ki'ya was in only transferred to Sam when she physically writhed. When she did Sam's entire body tensed in a blaze of agony.

The change in Ki'ya had been so sudden that the events of the past week were still a hazy blur to Sam. She had a jumbled reoccurring dream of the violent encounter with Jack. It was so confusing and contradictory to everything she knew about him that she couldn't decide if it was real or not.

It was difficult to determine anything from dream and reality lately. There were so many voices in her mind, so many thoughts that didn't make sense. Ki'ya and Neith weren't the only ones fighting for dominance. Sam had witnessed the actions of at least four if not five separate personalities. Neith seemed to be the most powerful, but when faced with pain or fear it was Ki'ya that surfaced.

Ki'ya was certainly in pain now. Sam closed her eyes as Ki'ya wailed again. Sam feared the cause of this pain. The young Goa'uld sounded as though she was deep in the throws of a difficult labour.

"Ki'ya." Sam whispered. "Ki'ya, talk to me."

"Help me!"

"I'm trying. Stay with me..."

Sam gasped and arched her back as Ki'ya trashed. She gripped down on the pillow she held and tried not to add her own voice to Ki'ya's. Ki'ya settled and she and Sam both panted heavily for breath.

"Ki'ya," Sam tried again "I want you to think of when you felt safe."

"I've never been safe!"

"That's not true, take us back to the SGC."

"I can't...I'm in too much pain...and we are locked in here."

"Not physically...just go there."

"I don't understand."

"Daniel and Gabriel have a way of turning in on themselves, to escape pain."

"There is no escape, life is pain."

"No. You've known only pain because any time you've been faced with something else another part of you takes over. Please, just try this."

Sensing Ki'ya's willingness to try Sam closed her own eyes and willed herself to follow. When she opened them again she was relived to find herself standing in the VIP room of the SGC. Ki'ya was there as well, back in her previous form.

"Samantha!" Ki'ya cried as she threw her arms around her.

Sam smoothed out Ki'ya's light red hair as the delicate creature in her arms shook with tears. Sam sighed and hugged her closer. She couldn't be angry with her, if anything she was more upset with herself for not seeing the signs of this earlier.

"Samantha, I'm so glad you're here! What's happening?"

"You know what's happening." Sam replied softly.

"No...no...we were with Daniel...and now we're back. I don't remember."

"Calm down. Ki'ya you know that you brought us here."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!" Ki'ya yelled as she pulled away. "It wasn't me! I don't want this! It wasn't me! It was Neith!"

"So you do know her name."

Ki'ya paled and started to shake. She looked around desperately for a way to escape, but there was none. Sam stepped towards her and she jerked away, pressing herself into the corner.

"It's okay Ki'ya, it's understandable. In humans it's known as Dissociate Disorder, often manifesting from severe childhood abuse...and I can't think of anyone who has been abused more than you. Neith, the Symbiot, the out dated version of Daniel...it's just your way of coping."

"No..." Ki'ya shook her head like stubborn child.

"Your maternal Goa'uld instinct have driven you to this to us."

"No...no...I would never hurt you. Nei..."

"Ki'ya...you are Neith." Sam said firmly. "And you can control her."

Sam held out her hand for Ki'ya to take and the young Goa'uld hesitantly did so. Ki'ya looked at her nervously as though she expected to be struck. Sam smiled, hoping to put her more at ease. However, Ki'ya pulled away and flashed her eyes brightly.

"She can't control me! Because she doesn't want to!"

"Ki..."

"No! We will have this child! He will replace all the ones we have lost!!"