RPOV

Edward had left a while ago , we weren't worried . We knew they were together , they needed some time alone and together . She was so different and yet the same , she was different from when she went missing and the same as in a few months ago when we had first met her .

I had spent a lot of time with Bella , since she was so intimidated by me , she slowly realized I actually really liked her . We became great friends , almost as close as sisters . She understood some things Alice didn't , and I was glad that I could talk to her .

She was a bright and smart girl , from the moment we've met her we knew . Even when she was changed and didn't remember a thing , she still had this type of knowledge .

Alice had already seen them back together , the second she decided to join us . Edward's mind was too far away , strangled around Bella's presence , so he didn't notice .

Alice had been bouncing around since Edward left and ran behind Bella . Without Edward around we didn't know what kind of vision she saw .

We could hear someone running closer to the house and we all smiled at each other , Emmett smirked and laughed smugly .

But when their forms came closer we saw Edward was looking worried and scared to death with an unconscious Bella in his arms .

Carlisle immediately took Bella from his arms and lay her down on the couch , we all gathered around her , her eyes were closed , like she was asleep .

Carlisle didn't know what to do , since she isn't human anymore , he can't check her heartbeat or her blood pressure or any of those things .

She suddenly gasped and sat up abruptly throwing her arms around Edward's neck . She smiled brightly at him and looked at everyone in the room .

Edward lifted his hand and gently took her face between his two hands , he still looked worried , 'Bella , love , are you okay ?'

Bella froze a little when Edward said love and so did Edward .

'I'm so sorry ,I ..' Bella shushed him , putting two of her fingers over his lips . He looked up at her , surprised by her sudden action .

'I'm more than fine ,' she smiled again ,' I remember more , I remember everyone , I remember some memories .'

Edward was perplexed , he hugged her tightly against his chest . I felt like I was interrupting a very private moment . But I just had to ask her , 'Bella , what exactly do you remember ?' I asked , she looked at me , still intimidated .

'I remember a lot of moments , definitely not all of them of course .' she smiled sadly while looking down at her hands .

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms , 'but ,' Esme looked at me , 'Rosalie !' she hissed.

'But , I don't remember the feeling , I don't remember how I felt around everyone . I saw how I felt , but it was like watching a movie . I didn't feel it , I only saw it .' she murmured she obviously didn't like to say it and we saw she wasn't comfortable anymore .

Esme rose from her position next to Carlisle and took Bella's hand , Bella cringed back and Esme's eyes widened .

Bella still being in pain because of being touched meant that she still wasn't back to her old self ,I realized that the old Bella might never come back .

Edward's gaze suddenly met mine , he wasn't angry at all . He looked sad , he understood what I was thinking , he knew it better than everyone else .

He was the one who had spent the longest time with her since she had changed .

'Come on Bella , I'll show you to your room .' Esme murmured , Bella looked confused . 'My room ?' she asked .

'Well , you can't live with your father anymore honey , we made you a room when you were gone .' Esme smiled kindly , motherly at her .

Bella's tense posture finally relaxed softly when she followed Esme upstairs , taking their time at a human pace .

When they were out of sight , Edward fell to his knees , his hands in his hair . Nobody reacted so I went to him . I gently rubbed his back 'It'll be okay Edward , I promise ' I whispered as silently as possible in his ear .

'She's remembering , she'll be fine .' I added , 'no Rosalie , like you said , she'll never be the same .' he whimpered .

'she can't handle touches ,' he cringed , ' she can handle yours .'

From upstairs we suddenly heard Esme talk to Bella , in the same way I had just talked to Edward . 'I'll be okay Bella , I promise .'

BPOV

Esme touch sting for a little while , but I ignored it . I followed Esme upstairs , she pointed out all the different rooms , ' this is Edward's room ,' she said while opening a door to the room next to it . 'This is your room .' she smiled gently .

She felt so motherly , I missed that , I didn't remember my mother just yet and that made me really sad .

I entered room and I loved it immediately , two of the four walls were entirely made from glass while the other two had a soft , relaxing green painted on it .

There was a huge bookcase which almost touched the very high ceiling , it was filled with modern and old books .

Next to the bookcase stood an enormous , king-size bed with purple sheets . It was filled with a lot of beautiful pillows .

There was a fire place which was already on . The warmth felt nice against my cold hand and I smiled to myself .

There was an ancient big chair placed next to the fireplace . Almost the entire floor was covered with a very thick , white carpet . It looked very inviting and I wanted to lay down on it .

Against one of the glass walls there was a dark wooden desk with drawing papers , pencils , paint and other art materials on .

There were two doors in the same room apart from the door we had just entered , Esme opened the first one , ' your bathroom ,' she mentioned for me to follow her .

The bathroom was beautiful , old fashioned and elegant with a bubble bath and a shower . The second door led me to a very very filled walk-in closet .

I turned around to look at Esme , 'Alice ' she said , I frowned at her . She looked at me , apologetic . 'Alice is obsessed with clothes , she never lets us wear the same things twice , although you can if you want to , it's your choice not Alice' '

I smiled sadly and felt sob's entering my body , I crouched down and I Esme came closer she wanted to touch me but she hesitated . After a few seconds she moved her hand back to her side .

'Why can't I be normal ,' I sobbed , ' Normal is boring ' Esme answered , I wanted to laugh but I couldn't .

'I just want everything to go back to how it was before I became a vampire ,' I whispered , my knees were pressed against my chest , my hair spilled out over them .

'It'll be okay Bella , I promise .' she whispered , I really hoped she was right . 'I'll give you some time alone , take a nice hot shower and relax .' Esme smiled at me as she closed the door behind her .

After she left I took a hot shower , I didn't know how long I was in there , because I lost track of time . The hot water felt relaxing on my cold body , I didn't really need a shower but I loved the way the water felt on my skin .

I stood there , enjoying the water and digging in my mind . I already had some memories , I wanted more . I wanted to go back to my old self , whoever that was .

After my shower I nestled myself in the warm , comfy bed . The sheets were very thick , soft and heavy . They made me feel like I was in my own little world , I was curled up in a little ball under the sheets , thinking about Edward .

I wanted to feel the love I could see he felt for me . I could see it in his eyes , the love and the pain he felt for me and because of me .

I felt really guilty for not remembering everything , I would give back all the memories I had just so I could get my feelings back . When I thought back about those memories I saw how happy and in love I was with him , I wanted to feel that way .

I want everyone to be able to touch me , I want to hug my family , I want to be normal again. I wanted to ask Edward something , something very personal and private . It wasn't really a question , it was kind of a request .

I would understand if he would say no of course , I mean , it's going to be a very weird question . I lay there for a little way , debating with myself if I should ask it or not . Eventually I collected all my confidence and I got up .

I walked to his room in a very slowly human pace , I could hear he was in his room , he was listening to some music , I recognized it .

I gently knocked his door and took a deep breath , ' come in ,' he muttered . I opened the door and looked at him , 'it's me ,can I come in ?' I asked shyly .

He looked bewildered but nodded furiously , he wanted to cut off the music but I stopped him , 'what's the name of that song ?'

He frowned at me , ' I kind of recognize it from somewhere ,' I bit my lip nervously and his gaze went to my lips , his tongue licked his lips as he suddenly looked up at me again .

'It's euhm , Clair de lune from Debussy .' he murmured , I nodded .

We stood there for a little while , with an awkward silence this time . 'You want to sit down ?' he said while mentioning at the black couch .

I nodded and sat down , asking him to sit down next to me .

'Edward , can I ask you something ?' I was really nervous for this part , 'anything ,' he whispered .