Title: An Anti-Sparity Drabble

Premise: MLP: FIM. Rarity has started dating a new stallion, crushing Spike's heart, until he gets a little talk from my OC, Metal Jacket.

Personal Comments: I'm not a big fan of Spike X Rarity. I mean, they're two totally different species, and Rarity is SO out of his league! She can TOTALLY do better! She deserves a real stallion! In fact, the other day I was thinking of writing a crack-inspired clopfic where Spike sees Rarity and Twilight making out, and makes him so depressed, he kills himself. Or I'd love to see Captain Gutt kick his ass! XD

So I was thinking; maybe in the future, on the canon show, Spike will turn himself into a pony so he and Rarity can be together. I think that would make decent episode material. I'm sure there's a few fanfic writers who have already written stories about this happening.

My OC, Metal Jacket, is a friend of Thunder Strike, and a major character in The Adventures of Thunder Strike and Ink Blot. I haven't decided yet if he's going to be this color, but he's an alicorn, I'm sure about that much.

Spike sat down at the table in Martini's, slowly sipping his cider. No matter how much he drank, he could not get the image out of his head; of Rarity making out with that stallion... what was his name again? The music on the radio did not help either; "Break Even" by The Script.

Rarity had said that they would always be dear friends, but of course, Spike wanted more than that.

Just then, he sensed a presence coming and sitting beside him. He turned to face a large alicorn with a dark green coat.

"Hey, I know you!" the dark green stallion announced softly, with a warm smile. "You're Twilight Sparkle's little sidekick!"

Normally, Spike would have snapped back at the comment, but tonight... what was the point. "Yep, that's me," He answered, his voice melancholy.

"Well, what's your problem?" The pony continued. "Why are ya wasting the night away drowning in cider here? You're young. You should be off enjoying your life!"

Spike shrugged. In his drunkenness, he just felt like opening up to the first guy to ask. Who knows? Maybe it would be nice to hear from a clean slate.

"Well," he sighed. "The girl of my dreams just got a boyfriend. Saw them making out earlier. I... I'm crushed to say the least."

"Aw, jeez," The stallion grunted. "That's always a rough thing to see, ain't it? Well, did you ever tell the girl you love her?"

"Yeah, I told her several times. Even before that, she figured it out on her own." Spike took another gulp of cider.

The stallion was quiet for a few seconds before he answered. "Listen son, there's a very logical way to look at this; if she chose another guy at this point, then maybe she's just not the one for you. I know. It's hard to find the one. Took me thirty years since the day I was born to find that special some pony!" He tapped the silver ring on his horn.

And then he put his hoof on Spike's shoulder. "But it's really not good for you too keep dwelling on it like this. There's hundreds of dragon ladies out there, and any one of them I bet would be willing to let you snatch them up! You just gotta get out there and take your chances!"

"But I don't want a dragon!" Spike snapped. "I want Rarity! She's the most beautiful creature in the world! There's no dragon out there who-"

"Woah, wait!" The stallion said calmly holding up his hoof. "Rarity? You mean the famous fashion designer from Ponyville? The wielder of the Element of Generosity?"

"Yep! That's the one. The most beautiful mare in Equestria!" Spike replied as he thought of his dreamy princess.

The stallion just stared at him for a moment, then his voice cracked as he squeaked out a laugh, and then started laughing hysterically, pounding his hoof on the table, much to Spike's irritation.

After a minute, he got a hold of himself, and calmed down before he started speaking again.

"Son, let me put it this way; Mares like Rarity... just don't go for guys like you. She's out of your league. You should know when you just can't tackle something, when something is just out of your reach. Look, I'm a very powerful unicorn; very skilled with magic. I've beaten many enemies, and I know I can beat many enemies. But does that mean I'm gonna go out and take on an ursa or a dragon? No offense by the way. No. Because I know my limits. You really should think about yours."

"Well, it's just that we've been so close all these years, and there have been times when I really thought things could work out for us."

"Son, you're forgetting the biggest issue here," The stallion continued. "Once you really sit down, chew the cud and face the facts... she's a pony... and you're a dragon."

Those words stung Spike like an electric shock. He took another big sip of his drink. But then... after a moment, he suddenly realized something. A crazy idea popped into his mind. His eyes widened, and a smile spread. He knew what to do! Of course! The answer was right in front of him! How could he not see it before!"

"You're right!" He said. "That IS the biggest issue, isn't it?"

The stallion was a bit weirded out, but his companion was smiling, so that must have been good, so he smiled back.

"What's your name, anyway?" Spike asked.

"Metal Jacket," The stallion answered proudly. "Commander and second-in-command of the Canterlot Royal Guard. 'Meta' to my friends, Commander Jacket to every pony else!"

"Well, thanks for everything, Meta!" Spike said, reaching to shake the stallion's hoof. "It really helped out. I know what I have to do!"

He finished his drink, and then rushed toward the door, vigor in his step.

"Hey! You!" The bartender snapped, "You gonna pay?"

Spike spun right around on his heal and headed to the counter. "I'll pay, and THEN I'll do what I have to do!"

"Well, hope it all goes well," Metal Jacket called after him.

Spike knew what he was going to do; he was going to convince Twilight to use her magic to transform him into a pony. Then there was nothing keeping him and Rarity apart!