Slowly, I opened my sore eyes, squeezing them close again. My sight was blurred and my nose was pressured and my head hurt. That could only mean one thing.
I vaguely remembered why the tears were streaming down my cold cheeks – flashes of images I didn't want to see again. It was strange to wake up like this – I felt like I had been crying through my sleep all night.
I opened my eyes again, blinking the uncontrollable tears away and letting out an heavy sigh. I didn't want to leave my warm and safe bed. I felt like a wreck, broken. I sighed again and eventually managed to get upright. When I untangled my leg from the thick sheets to free it, It kept sticking between the material and I tumbled over – face down on the floor. I gathered myself up and saw a small droplet of blood on the flooring. With my index-finger, I lightly touched my under lip. I'd found the source of the droplet.
So it was going to be such a day.
Once I got in the shower, I tried to relax and let myself envelop in the feeling of the warm water streaming down my body. My shoulders were tense, so I massaged the knots in the muscles away, feeling the ache fading within seconds.
After rinsing off all the shampoo and soap, having dried off and shuffling myself into underwear, I looked into the mirror to check my lip. It looked like someone had punched me in the face.
There were huge shades beneath my eyes, my skin almost seemed hoar and the small wound on my lip made the picture complete. I wasn't in the mood for much makeup, so I stayed with eyeliner and mascara. Then I made my way to back to my room searching for something comfortable to wear today. As I rummaged through my closet, I heard Bella shuffling through the bathroom.
I dressed myself into the pink-dotted black, long-sleeved cotton dress, I'd bought the night before. Beneath it I put dark blue jeggings and black, ankle-high sneaker-like booties.
During packing my bag, I waited for Bella to finish her shower – I could easily hear when the water would be shut off. When I heard that sound, and was sure Bella wasn't butt-naked anymore, I could use the bathroom for my hair.
"Morning Mells. How..did you sleep?" Bella asked as she was applying her makeup. I took the space next to her, having great view into the mirror and started brushing my hair while I answered.
"Morning, Bells. I didn't, not really…you?" I questioned. I busy making sure my hair would be tied in a perfect ballerina bun.
"No, I didn't sleep really well, either. But that wasn't really unexpected, right?" she replied as she started doing her hair as well.
"Yeah. You're right. It..it's still strange to really know. Do you know what I mean?" I asked hesitatingly while I draped a little bow around the bun on my head. Once done I leaned against the door, waiting for Bella's response.
"Yes, it is. But I don't think it's a bad thing. Do you?" she asked as she finished her hair as well, having just hung it into a pony-tail. She looked me in the eye. I thought about that for a minute. Was it good that I knew? Wouldn't it have been easier to forget him if I hadn't known?
"No. now we know how to treat them. Kind off." I said. Bella nodded. I pushed myself away from the door post and started walking downstairs.
I quickly made myself breakfast and also poured a glass of milk. Bella was still busy dressing herself upstairs. When I'd washed the dishes I'd used, I saw a note sticking on a cabinet.
'Can you please get the mail form the mailbox? Love, Dad.'
I dried off my hands, threw the, now prop formed, note into the trashcan and headed outside. I gasped when I saw it. or better said, saw him.
When he noticed me, his lips magically turned into his crooked smile. Just the one that made my face and other parts heat up slightly. He stood next to our mailbox, which was my destination.
"Hey," he said as I neared him. I smiled shyly, feeling the blood creep into my cheeks. An uncomfortable look appeared on his face, he almost looked…shy.
"Hi." I said breathlessly, praying he wouldn't notice. He started rubbing the back of his neck – it reminded me of the nervous habit of Nathan. What was going on?
"I..uh...", he stammered. I frowned. Why in the whole world, would Edward Cullen stammer over? What was he doing here anyway? Not that I minded.
"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked when he clearly wasn't able to form the right words. He swallowed and averted his eyes from mine.
"Well,…I found something last night when I got home…and uh.." he stammered again. I started to have a feeling this wasn't going to be nice. "And?" I encouraged him.
"I was wondering if you..or Bella…did you..lost something?" he stumbled, looking me straight in the eye now. I frowned. What could I have lost? I look back at him, in his eyes whose were fast changing into black holes. Oh…My…no….
"Oh no,…" I squeaked, feeling so utterly embarrassed.
"So…uh..it's yours?" he said again, his voice rough and hoarse this time. I nodded weakly, knowing exactly where he was talking about. I saw his hand sliding into his leather jacket, retrieving were I'd been looking for last night.
There it was – my bright pink 'bite-me' thong, dangling proudly on his index-finger.
"Well, then I believe this is yours."
With wide eyes, a scarlet red face and conflicted feelings, I slowly reached out my hand, to grab the pink scrap of cotton from his finger. Once I'd gotten a hold of it, I quickly stuffed it in my pocket. Thank god those jeggings even had pockets. I didn't dare to look him in the eye – my hormonal balance would let my body do things my mind wouldn't want to.
"So…eh… now that is taken care of," Edward spoke softly again. I still adverted my eyes from him, having crouched my arms against my chest. "I was actually here to ask if you two wanted a lift to school? You don't have to. You won't hurt my feelings by saying no, so don't feel obligated now I've asked." he ranted. I could barely make out what he said.
"Oh! Ehm…sure, I mean, if that's what you want to…." I said, being sure Bella already would've jumped his car. "I', sorry by the way. It was so stupid to – " before I could say my whole apologize about losing my thong, he interrupted me.
"No, don't apologize, Mells. It could've happened to anyone." He said, smiling reassuringly. I looked at him skeptically, arching one eyebrow. When he realized why I looked like that he let out a snicker. "all right – things like this only happen to you. Happy now, miss?" he said, his eyes holding a wicked gleam. It felt so natural, talking to him like this – so carefree, like there was nothing mythical and mysterious about us. I felt a sudden warmth spread through my chest, right at the place where my fast beating heart lay. "Yeah, I am. It's the truth!" I said giggling lightly, letting him know I wasn't sad about the fact I was too clumsy for words. His delighted smile made my eyes flutter. What he could do to me, just by smiling…
"Should I get Bella? We don't want to be late, do we?" I said, feeling brave out of nowhere. Edward nodded, "I'll wait here." He handed me our mail he, clearly without me noticing, had gotten out of the mailbox. I rolled my eyes and added a 'thanks', before walking up to the house.
I opened the door, stealing one look from over my shoulder, seeing Edward still leaning against his Volvo, very lost in his thoughts. I was starting to understand his constant frustration to not being able to hear what we thought. I wanted to know so badly what was happening in his head.
"What took you so long? Did you trip over the mailbox?" Bella chuckled. I walked up to her.
" Get your stuff; our taxi is waiting." I said giggling at seeing Bella's confused look.
"Taxi?" she questioned, brow furrowed. I grabbed my bag from the kitchen floor before walking to the door again to get my jacket.
"Yeah, Edward. He suggested we could have a lift." I said before heading outside again, Bella quick on my heels. 'Oh my god…he's so handsome…' she thought lustfully. The smile plastered on Edward's face when he saw us was incredible. Just as we both descended the porch steps, I remembered something.
"Oh, uh, Bells, I have to…get something from my room. I'll be back in a minute." I said before hurrying back inside, for the stairs. I swear I saw Edward laughing, knowing exactly what I needed to do.
Not a minute later, after dropping my thong in my underwear drawer, I was back outside again, looking all kinds of flustered from running. Bella and Edward had already occupied the front seats, so I took the backseat again. When I was seated, Edward drove to school.
It was awkwardly quiet during the ride. At some point, Edward had enough of it.
"What? no question games today?" he asked, smiling crookedly.
"Do our questions bother you?" Bella replied.
"No, not really. It's just your reactions. You're both so..relaxed about all of this. I'm still waiting for you two to run." He answered incredulously.
"We're not that fragile you know." I said, shrugging. It was true..almost. we drove further without words. When we rode upon the parking lot, Bella suddenly asked where his family was – they always drove along with him. Just as he parked next to a red convertible, the answer wouldn't be hard to guess.
"They took Rosalie's car. Ostentatious, isn't it?" Edward said as me and my sister stared at the shiny red car.
"I take it, Rosalie has a thing for cars?" I asked smiling. I certainly didn't expect this from the stunning blonde vampire.
"I don't know if you two noticed, but I'm breaking all the rules now." he said as he exited the car. I immediately felt guilty – it was basically our fault his family rebelled against him. Off course they knew, we knew; lying wasn't possible when you had Alice, Edward and Jasper in your household. I wondered if Alice was mad at me. I truly hoped she wasn't – she was my best friend. Bella and I got out of the silver Volvo too – she stepped, I stumbled. The usual.
Bella thanked Edward and ran off to Jessica without waiting for response. Off course they started gossiping and talking about how a 'superduper hottie' Edward was. Their words, not mine. I walked up to the Cullens, where Edward had rejoined. His siblings al looked pretty irritated, attacking him with their thoughts. I felt really bad for him. Slowly, I went in their direction and saw Alice smiling at me, before pushing her brother out of the way and running up to me – at a human pace off course.
"Baby Swan!" she squealed as she developed me in an ice cold hug. I gasped in shock. But not from the fact that she was cold and hugging me.
"How in heel do you know about that name!?" I exclaimed exaggerated. Alice laughed, "Charlie calls you that and I heard when I drove by last night." She explained to me.
"Wow. You've got a good hearing range." I said awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. Then, Bella joined us after having given all the 'human' details of last night. I read from Jessica's mind she wanted to know more.
"Edward? Can you help me? Jess wants to know..I don't know…things. What does she want to know?" she asked, trying to sound seductive. Edward walked toward the building, all to willingly explaining what Jessica wanted to know.
"She wants to know if we're secretly dating. And she wants to know how you feel about me." he said in a low, lovely voice. My attention was full on what was being said.
"What should I say?" Bella tried to make him ask her to be her boyfriend. "Hmmm.." he mused, while placing a strand of hair that had fallen from her tail behind her ear. I felt my heart clench tightly. "I think you should say yes to the first – to avoid other difficult explanation. If you don't mind."
That was it. He just declared his love for her, and she caught it. I felt tears prickling in my eyes.
"Ali, I-I…I need to use the bathroom. I'll see you at lunch." And with that, I ran off, letting the tears droop over, hoping no one would notice my heart was in thousand pieces – it would take forever to pull them back together.
When the coast was clear and nobody, apart from me, was in the bathroom, I opened the door from the loft where I'd locked myself up. there were lots of thoughts flying and spiraling through my head, but there was one that kept floating above all.
Edward was in love with Bella.
And the worst thing was, that I couldn't do anything about it – only accepting it. during my crying session from no five minutes earlier, why I missed my first class, I decided that when Edward was happy, I'd be too. I'd take everything he'd give m, even if that meant we'd stay 'just friends' for eternity. I sighed as I looked into the mirror. A few strings had fallen from my twist, hanging along my face. The bruise on my lip from that morning was getting more noticeable. I made sure every mascara line was washed away but reassuring that no one would see I'd cried was no start on. my eyes were red and blotchy and my nose and cheeks happily joined the group. I was a mess, that was for sure. After another deep sigh, a few good breaths and one last look into the mirror, I left the bathroom.
I went for my locker to change my books and leave my jacket, which I was still wearing, on its hook in the small cabinet. When I wanted to close the locker door, something fell upon my head.
"Ow! Damn-it!" I whisper-yelled through the empty aisles. the spot on the back of my head stung irritatingly, so I caressed it, searching for any caused damage that could provoke blood. Thankfully, there was only a bump to find. I bowed down, wanting to grab my Spanish folder from the ground, when an icy-white hand already got it for me. I could read his mind. I stood straight again without any balance problems and came to stand face to face with Emmett. His slight grin told me he'd probably seen what happened.
"How's is your head?" he asked sincerely, his honest golden eyes shining. A shy smile curved my lips.
"There's only a bump on there, so, nothing major." I answered shrugging. I'd never talked to Emmett before so it surprised me he started to talk to me so all of the sudden.
'She's really nice, just as Ali, Jazz and Rosie said…I think I can trust her. She won't tell our secret, but just to be sure..' "Right, little lady, this is probably very sudden but; you don't seem like the kind that gossips about the vamp-family in town, do you?" he asked, putting my folder back in my locker, safely and secured.
"You're right. I'd never, ever bare your existence. I'm a very closed person, so no gossip for me." I said, sniffing away the last bit of my crying time. Emmett noticed.
'Did she cry? Where would she cry about? Aw man! Why do I want to hug this little girl and give her the most fluffy teddy bear existing?' his face stood sad, frowning. I felt a rush of safety course through my body. No matter how tough Emmett looked from the outside – he was just a hugger.
"Are you sure you're all right? Do you want me to walk you to your next class? I don't have anything better to do and walking around on your own is boring." He babbled, a toothpaste smile plastered on his face. I smiled back.
"I think if I'd say I was fine you wouldn't believe me so; no not really…but it's just..girl stuff?" I added the question mark not knowing what I meant myself. "but, sure. I think that'd be nice. " I ended, closing my locker. The bright smile I was met with, cheered me up. this way, at least someone would be happy.
"Awesome! Where to go Captain Clumsy?" he asked, chuckling, while I started walking in the direction for my History class.
"Seriously? Did Alice told you that? How many horrifying nicknames do you all already know?" I asked giggling. Emmett was a joker – it made me miss my brother even more.
He chuckled along with me, "Yep, Alice's fault. You should totally kick her in the ass!" he exclaimed gleefully, "Right, the ones I know are Captain clumsy, Chucks, Mells, Ody, Pigmy and Baby Swan." He stated proudly. We exited the main building on our way to the science classrooms. I shivered from the cold.
"Wow! You're right. They're all quite embarrassing, though." I admitted.
"Where does Baby Swan come from? I mean, is there a reason why they call you that?" Emmett asked, hesitating – he thought he might touch a raw nerve.
"Well," I debated whether to tell him about my siblings or not."I'm the youngest of five and I'm very little. And I'm not even counting my siblings-in-law with it. I'm also still daddy's little girl," I added mockingly, but in a joking way. Emmett seemed surprised - nothing strange when nobody knew I had more siblings than just Bella.
"Wow, Bella never mentioned that, or well Edward didn't. I've never really spoken to your sister." we stood in front of my classroom now, the bell could ring any minute.
"Explain me one thing though, Why would you and Bella leave a whole bunch of siblings behind? I don't really get that…Okay, you do have Bella as one sister – " before he could finish I interrupted him, making one thing clear; I didn't want to be the fifth wheel because I was Bella's 'baby sister'.
"Bella's my half-sister. We've never lived together until now. and my real siblings are all married and have kids. I was a loner there."I choked, unable to hide the sorrow and pain from my voice and facial expression. 'Where she must go through right now…no wonder she has cried,..'
"I'm sorry to hear that." He mused, and then added, "If something's bothering you, you can talk to me – like a brother, you know?" he suggested, laying his huge, cold hand on my tiny, slightly warmer shoulder in a brotherly gesture. I looked him right in the eye as I answered before turning around and heading into the classroom.
"Thanks Em, I will."