Rey had barely moved for the last couple of days, it had been too painful. Even now, walking to the bathroom had exhausted her, but she washed her face and tried as best she could to prepare for the day to come. She had finally recovered enough to appear before the Resistance and explain why Kylo Ren was there. She doubted that if she wouldn't have taken those painkillers last night, she would have been able to sleep; she would have stayed awake trying to figure out a way to explain the Force bond to her friends. There was so much pressure on her to get this right, Ben's life could actually depend on it. She took a deep breath, and when she looked back into the mirror at her own reflection, she remembered the last time she had found herself in a similar situation.

Flashback (1 year ago)

For the past 2 weeks, Rey had avoided Poe, Rose and Finn, not only because she didn't want to tell them what had happened on Leda, but because she was still figuring it out herself. But she knew that sooner or later, she would have to tell them the truth; which she had just done.

"You went alone on a planet with that psychopath and you didn't think you should tell us?" Finn chastised her.

Rey rolled her eyes at his exaggeration. "He is not a psychopath and he wouldn't have hurt me," she reassured them. "Besides," she added, "I would have been more than capable of handling him myself."

"It was still stupid." Poe's voice was deadly serious. "You are the leader of the Resistance, you shouldn't be acting so recklessly!"

Rey huffed. "I didn't ask for this."

Poe looked at her, hurt but silent.

"Why did you do it, Rey?" Rose asked in a more gentle voice.

"Because he asked me to." Rey felt silly, admitting this to her friends, and so she couldn't look them in the eye.

"What?" Finn asked more confused than ever but when he looked at the other two, he realised that Poe and Rose understood something that he hadn't.

"Have you disclosed any information about the Resistance?" Poe demanded. Rey looked at him, confused and outraged, but his stare was as cold as ice.

She looked away from him. "No."

"Did he make you?" He carried on.

"No," Rey replied through clenched teeth, "he didn't ask me for anything."

"So this does not pose any threat to us whatsoever?"he kept prying not sounding like he believed her.

"Of course not! I wouldn't, you know I wouldn't..." she trailed off when the look in Poe's eyes told her that no, he didn't know anymore, he didn't really trust her.

"I think it would be best if we left," Rose said, as she read the situation in front of her.

Her and Finn were making their way to the door when Poe called, "I'm coming as well."

"Poe, please," Rey said trying to take a hold of his hand.

He moved his hand out of her grip and shook his head. "No, Rey! You can ask me to accept, but you can't ask me to stay here and try to understand the reasons why you chose to do what you did. I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm not that man." He left before she could say anything else.

Rey felt the tear trickle down her cheek, then drop from her chin on to the floor. She collapsed in one of the nearby chairs. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, she just hadn't expected it to be so hard, hadn't expected Poe to be so hurt. She knew about his feelings, she had known all along, he had never hidden them from her, but she never thought she had given him any indications that she might feel the same. She never did, her heart had been helplessly set on Ben; but perhaps, when Ben had been gone, maybe she had leaned on Poe more then she should have. She cursed herself for not thinking more about Poe's feeling, for doing this in front of Finn and Rose. She should have taken him to the side, explain it to him first, make him understand and apologise. She should have been that friend, but she'd failed miserably.

Rey felt her breathing slow down as a thought she'd once had, came back to haunt her. What if Ben was having more of an effect on her than she on him? What if he was making her...dark?

End of flashback

Rey shivered when she remembered the last thought she'd had that day. And then she remembered something else Poe had said to her, Loving him doesn't make him safe, it just makes you dangerous. Was that right? Did she pose a threat to the life of her friends simply because of what she felt for him. Light and Dark. Who was leaving which?

Rey pushed herself up from the sink and went back into her room, only to find Ben sitting on her bed. She was startled. It was strange seeing him in her room, all flesh and bone and real.

"You know I can hear your thoughts, right?" Ben said glancing at her before he faced forwards again. "It's the Force, it connects me to your mind whenever we're close to each other."

Rey didn't know why, but she fel annoyed all of a sudden. "You know you can stop it."

He turned to look at her. "That's not the point!"

"Then what is your point?"she asked crossing her hands over her chest.

Ben looked hurt. "You should have talked to me about it."

Rey looked away. "What should I have said? That I am afraid of the darkness inside of me?" She abruptly returned her gaze to him. "That I am afraid that somehow you activate this darkness within me?" She felt awful for just thinking that, let alone saying it out loud.

Ben got up from the bed and crossed the space between them. "Yes," he whispered, laying a hand on her face, "any of that, all of that!"Rey tried to look away but he moved her face towards him again. "Rey, I've spent half of my life being afraid of the darkness in me and the other half letting it rule me. I know how you feel."

Rey let her head fall against his chest. He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry," she whispered against the material of his shirt. "It's the traial, I don't want to have to choose between you and my friends."

Ben sighed. There was no way in which he could make that easier for her, so he just said, "We should go."

As they were walking out the room, Rey thought: It would be you Ben, I would choose you; and he squeezed her hand in return.