Thorin only gave up the search when his legs could no longer carry him and Elrohir forced him to go back. They had combed the whole area and slowly he was starting to accept that his nephew was no longer alive. He had to be torn apart by a warg. The kid had probably been so small that there were no traces left. He had no idea how to tell his suspicions to his sister. She had gone through so much that he was afraid that this would be the last straw. Kíli and Fíli had been the ones that kept her going, and even then sometimes with great effort.

As he reached Rivendell, he heard that Dís had returned with Lord Elrond. As soon as the elves had went to find her, he hadn't doubt her safety for one moment.

"Is she asleep?" he asked Arwen as he found her in the living room. Apparently the elf would make sure that Dís wouldn't leave again.

Arwen nodded. "Yes, the poor woman was exhausted."

"Thank you for taking care of her."

"With pleasure." She gave him a friendly smile. "I will stay here tonight. You need your sleep as well."

Thorin had wanted to dismiss her, but he changed his mind. She was right. He was dead tired and he probably couldn't stay awake for one more hour if he 'stood guard'. He returned to his own house and dropped on the bed without taking his clothes off.

Thorin saw his sister go downhill. Finally she had came out of her shell a bit, by trial and error, but now she was back to square one. She didn't eat, didn't leave the house and when they wanted to keep her company, she retreated to her bedroom. She barely said anything to them and when Thorin tried to talk to her, he had the feeling none of his words got through to her.

Thorin often returned to the forest where Fíli had disappeared, but as the weeks went by he knew he wouldn't find the boy again.

Kíli copied the behavior of his mother. Often he sat in front of the window, staring outside, his toys untouched; and the elf children with whom he had played sometimes no longer knocked on the door, knowing he would reject them anyway.

"I don't know what to do anymore," he sighed frustrated as he was sitting on the shore of the lake, together with Elladan and Elrohir.

The faces of both elves had a severe expression. Thorin knew Dís' behavior reminded them of their mother. After she had been captured by orcs, she had also been lethargic and depressed, until she had decided to leave Middle Earth.

Thorin feared that his sister would make that decision too. She had wanted to die before, after Famin and Frerin had died, but Fíli and Kíli had made her pull through. Now, her eldest son was gone and the youngest one had lost his youthful spirit as well.

Thorin felt horrible for not being able to help her. More and more he had the feeling that he was wasting his time here. Dís didn't let him in. She no longer wanted to be helped by him. Now and then he thought about his father, who might need his help as well. He had no idea if his father was still alive, but as his son it was his duty to look for him and the more time he was wasting on fishing and riding through the woods, the more determined he became to go looking for him.

"I think I'm going away for a while," he told his friends. "I want to go looking for my father. Right now I can't do anything for Dís anyway."

In the eyes of the elves he saw their shock, even though it wasn't the first time he had shared his worries about his father.

"I'd like to go with you," Elladan said to his surprise. "You shouldn't travel alone."

Thorin shook his head, determined. There was still a price on his head and he didn't want to drag his friend into his misery. "There's no need to come with me."

A hesitating smile crossed Elladan's face. "I wasn't asking for your permission."

His words filled his heart with warmth. It had been a long time since someone had cared so much about his family and he had never expected that a friendship with an elf could grow so close.

Elladan looked at his brother. "What will you do?"

Elrohir stared into the distance for a while. The two never separated, but Thorin was aware of his doubts. He cared almost as much about Dís as Thorin himself did.

"I will stay here," he said eventually, without looking at his brother. "I don't like to travel long distances."

Elladan raised his eyebrows. Thorin felt a tension between the two brothers, as if Elrohir had just chosen a woman over his brother.

"I'll get my things." The elf stood up, leaving them behind.

Thorin glanced at Elrohir, who sighed.

"He blames me for loving someone while Scar has abandoned him."

Thorin kept silent. For some reason a relationship between Scar and Elladan seemed very... cold. Their break-up must have changed them both.

"I am grateful that you want to stay behind because of my sister," Thorin said. For now it was too soon, only one and half year had passed since her husband had died, but Thorin knew Dís needed someone who loved her in another way than he did.