Wednesday started out like most school days had lately, with one too many snoozes and at best a quick mug of oatmeal before heading off to class. After a whole morning full of boring, and a lunch in solitude, the monotony was interrupted by an email from the Blackwell secretary.

Miss Caulfield: There's a package for you at the front office.

It took Max a few seconds to remember that she actually was expecting something, and the realization was a bit of a let-down. No early Christmas gift or care package, just a "new" charger for her laptop, so she could give Dana's back.

She pondered stopping by to pick it up before Photography, but found she didn't care enough. It can wait 'til after Drawing class.

"Hello Maxine!"

Max tried not to grimace at the Christmas cheer dripping from Mrs. Evans's desk, or the secretary's insistent use of her full name.

"You got a package for me?" Max asked.

"Two, actually."

"What?"

"I almost forgot about it until you walked in just now. There's one for you that's been sitting here for months now. I know I emailed you when it arrived. Guess it wasn't too important." She chuckled at her own remark as she dug through the cabinet.

The laptop charger box was already out on the desk, but the surprise package took some digging, and she finally pulled it out from the back of the pile. It was a thin cardboard box that Max recognized instantly. She used to get them at least once a month.

Around the time Max had moved to Seattle the last factory that made Polaroid film closed down. She'd taken the news hard, and was preparing to hold an honest-to-dog funeral for her beloved camera when the some Danish guys stepped in to continue production, and the Impossible Project was born. Their film was expensive-over two bucks a shot for black and white, and a little more for color-and had to be ordered directly from the factory, but it kept her old camera going, and there was nothing like it in the world. After days of waiting, that box meant that her new film was finally here.

Except that Max hadn't ordered it. This Max hadn't ordered it. If it's been here two months...

She signed for the packages and stuffed one in her bag, and the other under her arm as she left for the dorms.

The boxes sat on her bed as she went through her papers from the day's classes.

She almost didn't bother opening them. There was none of the typical anticipation of new gear or a much needed resupply. Her desk drawer was already well-stocked with film; no need for more any time soon at the rate she was going. The Impossible Project did have the occasional special edition two-color or pastel frame pack, which might have been exciting to Other Max but not to this one.

But she needed to make sure the charger actually worked, and there was some lingering curiosity that drove her to open the Impossible Project order. Plus the shipping box was too big to shove in the drawer unopened. A nail file sitting on the dresser made short work of the tape, and the box opened to reveal the wrong kind of film.

Idiot. She double checked one of the packs to be sure. I spent like $100 on film I can't even use. The green label meant that these cartridges were 1200 series film, meant for other cameras like that weird sideways ProCam or...

Chloe's camera.

Figures. she thought disdainfully. Some fucking friend I was. Can't spare a text message for five years, then I order this before she was even in the ground.

She would have wished to be Other Max if she didn't hate her so much. Getting over Chloe's death just like that... like she didn't matter at all. And getting all excited over a new camera when there's a funeral to attend.

According to her journal, that camera was in a box of things that Joyce put aside for Max. It was probably gone now; sent off to some church rummage sale or dumpster after Max had ignored a fourth call from the Price household. As sad as the thought made Max, she wasn't sure if she could handle holding it again, if she even deserved it.

Would she understand? She really wanted me to have it, but... she'd get it. Wouldn't she? It's not like she never dealt with grief before.

The new charger looked fine, and worked as far as she could tell. She wrapped the borrowed one around itself to return to its owner.

The other box, with the film still in it, went under her bed.

"Hi, Max!"

"Hi." Max leaned over the coffee table and held the power brick out to Dana.

She took it and tossed it right into an open suitcase on the bed. "That was fast."

"Yeah I guess. Packing already?"

"That's just for this weekend. I'm doing an early Christmas at my dad's house before going home."

"Oh. uh... Sorry. I didn't know."

"It's okay. I get three dads and a mom, and they're all great, so it's not so bad."

Max blinked and mentally moved the apostrophe in "dad's house" one letter to the right.

"How've you been?" Dana asked.

"I had a lot of fun last weekend. Shame we have to go back to school."

"Ugh, yeah, I know. Mrs. Hoida just gave the whole comp class a six page paper due before holiday break, so there goes my first Christmas."

"At least you get two?"

"Yeah." Dana shrugged. "Double the presents. Are you gonna be up in Seattle for yours?"

"Yeah, as usual. Just me and the parents. Maybe an uncle. Gran might come, but it's a long trip and she hasn't been doing well lately."

"Sorry to hear that."

"It'll be okay. Thanksgiving was hella boring with just parents there, but I have friends I can call too."

Max caught Dana looking at her wrist again. The first time she hadn't paid it any mind, but this time she realized why.

"I keep forgetting to put it back on after I shower. I can leave the other ones on, but Chloe's is leather so..."

And then, out of nowhere, Max realized there was one more place that Chloe's camera might be.

Right under my nose for two whole friggin' months.

As soon as she had the thought there was no question in her mind. Other Max couldn't have known that her old film wouldn't work in Chloe's camera until she'd actually tried it. The only way she could have done that was... right under the bed, in the box. Sitting right on fucking top.

Max exhaled deeply, not even aware that she'd been holding her breath since halfway down the hall. Dana was probably still wondering about the reason for her clumsy apologies and abrupt departure.

There was no heavenly choir, not even a warm tingly feeling as she lifted it out of the box. It was just a camera. No reason for her hands to tremble, or her breath to leave her.

And definitely no reason for her to curl into a ball and lie crying on the floor for several minutes.

At least the carpet was sort of soft.

She finally got up and reluctantly placed the Spectra on her bedside table, next to her old JobPro. The pairing triggered a few more moments of tears before she was able to pick it up again and look through the viewfinder.

It was perfect. And she knew exactly what she was going to do for her project. The flashes were still set up in the corner by the radiator, all she needed to do was right the one she'd knocked over and set up the backdrops again.

There was another thing that she needed though. She hesitated before she sent the message, red binder in the front of her mind, but figured she could pretend at least for a little while.

Max: Hey Kate can I borrow your camera?