Yadda yadda yadda, The Pack, yadda yadda yadda yadda, almost there. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. QUESTION TIME. Also, ending scene is smaller than usual, as I'm having to pace myself for the last three episodes. Sorry!

AaronCottrell97: Probably!

Reality Rejection Service: I have here a exact statement from Thomas D Tancengine. Ahem. "IT'S HELL ON EARTH." ...So, that probably answers your question.

Bronze Shield: Fireman Sam is definitely going to get name checked at the very least! As for Fifi and the Flowertots, I've not got much of an idea for them as of yet, but I would like to incorporate them at some point. Just for the sheer randomness of it all.

Game-Watch: I'm trying my best, the material's not the best. XD.

MattPrice01: My series officially went off track WAAAAAAY long ago. XD. Still, really glad you're enjoying it thus far.

JD145: Originally he was going to stay at Shining Time for the rest of the series, save maybe coming back in Season 12 to die as it was around that time that George Carlin died in real life.

UGX7: It's very complex, I agree.

Radical sandwiches: YEP.

Kamen Rider Necom: That's a fair reaction to have.

Guest: Glad you're enjoying it!

CUE THE...less than impressive theme music.

Here's a question for you. Buster the steamroller loves...what?

A: Speed

B: The sun on his back

C: The wind on his rollers

D: Making a dope new track

E: Not being laughed out of hte yard

F: All of the above.

The answer, of course, is F. But for the record, we'll be focusing mostly on the first three. And as Thomas pushed him along the branch-line one morning, he closed his eyes and rested.

"Don't fall asleep. The bitch will most likely try and eat you if you hold up work for longer than two seconds."

"I'm thinking, dawg!"

"You know Buster, this is getting really old. Can't you go back to acting like...oh I don't know, a person?"

"Nah!"

"Fair enough, just wanted to put it out there."

Buster was dreaming of what it would be like to win a race. He had very boring dreams, it was fair to say.

"And here we are the- SODOR RACETRACK!? When the HELL did we get one of those!?" cried the tank engine in great distress. "Has the world gone BARMY?!"

The Pack were finishing off the track today. What that meant for everyone else, no one was sure. Primarily because there wasn't going to be many people able to use it. Unless they wanted to revive SodF1 (SodorFormula-1), which had been a disaster the last time they had tried it.

No one was still sure how Terrance had even entered that race, let alone won it.

Buster flattened the track around the final bend, still in his dream world. "And the winner is Buster! The fastest steamroller in the world! Gimme those babes!" Good Start Batteries would give him a sponsorship, and then everyone would like him and be his friend-

"WASSUP WITH THIS?! Get on with it, you...you...POSER!" Max sneered at him.

"Varoom! Varoom!"

"He's flipped! You think you're fast?!"

"If you go any slower, you'll be going backwards!"

Buster didn't care.

Miss Jenny came to inspect the site when it was done. "Bah! It'll do! Yer a good crew...for arsing about! To hell with it, I'm going for a smok- Ah, shite! Has that bastard left his pants here AGAIN?!"

No one wanted to think about Carlin's pants.

"Ah, shite, he can suffer for all I care! ...Well, let's give this...this DOG'S BREAKFAST OF A RACETRACK a test!"

"ME! Me me me! I am the fastest steamroller in the world! Also, the dopest, but that's besides the point!"

"More like the slowest."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Sick burn, am I right, Monty?!"

"Damn right!"

Miss Jenny groaned. It was a long day. "FECK ME NAVEL WITH A PRIZE WINNING CORGETTE, SHUT THE FECK UP! Ye now what? Buster, that's fair enough! All three of you on the track. Loser dies, winner gets to live for another day or so! If I'm in a grateful mood, which ye know is not likely in the slightest! Oh, and because I have to deliver a fecking moral like I'm one of those Watch with Mother CHAVS...No speeding! I don't want them feckers at the traffic court to give me hell over this! They've already got a deposit on the land-rover, and they ain't fecking having any more of me property."

"Yes Miss Jenny." said the trucks. They were lying of course. They were going to be as fast as they liked.

This, boys and girls, is what we call foreshadowing. Remember it well.

...

They waited for the foreman, who had been bullied into doing this, to give the all clear signal.

"I'm riggity riggity ready!"

"You couldn't beat a snail!" sneered Max.

"Not even a sleepy snail!" added Monty.

"Which as we know, are the worst of all snails."

"THE. Worst."

The foreman raised his flag...and then dropped it.

Milliseconds later, he jumped back and screamed as Max and Monty only just managed to avoid knocking his block off. As they sped off, Buster casually ambled forward. Oh hold on, I mean, Buster used his full speed to propel himself forward.

"You jumped the signal!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"So what if I did! WE'RE REBELS, MATE!"

Buster went as fast as his rollers could take him. Which wasn't very fast at all. Elsewhere, cobwebs began to grow over the rest of the vehicles, while Thomas wondered if he hadn't been too harsh on Bertie. At least theirs had actually been...well...exciting. He gave a casual glance as Monty bashed into Max. And then Max bashed into Monty.

And so on and so forth.

"YOU'VE DENTED ME! YOU SON OF A GUN!"

"Then get out of my way, suckaaaaaa!"

"It's like watching toddlers fight." was Thomas's weary review.

Seconds later, there was a loud crack. Both Max and Monty had tried to hit each other and smacked each other right into a ditch.

"Karma." droned Oliver. This was so boring not even drugs could make it exciting. Buster trundled happily on and passed them. And another civilization died and rotted as he did so.

"Moo!" said Champion, licking his lips.

"OOOOH!" said the twins, and they struggled backwards. They did not want to be bull chow. They also didn't want anyone to notice their mistake. Unfortunately, that ship had already sailed.

"If we lose to him, we're never going to live this down."

"Like...ever."

Five thousand years after the race had started, or so it felt, Buster ambled round the corner towards the finish line.

"Hooray for Buster. Hooray." said the machines, very enthusiastically as you can tell by their voices.

"Oh shit."

"It can't be!"

It could, though.

Buster was over the finish line, and seconds later, the two trucks were still arguing over whose fault this was.

"I CAME SECOND!"

"THIRD!"

"Well I think we all know who came first! I did!" said Carlin, before hurrying off before the inevitable scandalous gasps of horror could take effect.

"Well, I may have brought a steamroller here, but I'm taking a champion back. Albeit a champion who would not essentially win in anything resembling a real race. Also, SINCE WHEN DID WE HAVE A RACETRACK!?"

"Track is fecking safe without speeding! Now, where's that man of mine?!"

"Don't tell her I'm here!" hissed a pantless Carlin, as he hid on the floor of Thomas's cab.

"VAROOM VAROOM!"

"Oh you think you're a f**king comedian, Buster!?" Carlin was not aware that Buster didn't even know what a single entendre was, never mind a double one.

And the twins were still arguing as they left. Buster would soon enter the next F-1 event. He came 9th.

Out of five.

His career was finished after that, understandably.

...

THE PRESENT.

"So I wonder what's going on right now?" said James, looking very happily at his three BAFTA's.

"Not sure. Probably they're having fun." Ned said, looking quite sadly at his lack of BAFTA's. James paused, and then begrudgingly handed one over to him. It was the smallest one. He had been intending to give to Hammond as a joke, but Ned seemed a fair sort of chap. Ned beamed.

"Probably." James agreed.

...

"OH GOD THIS IS NOT FUN AT ALL PLEASE HELP OH EVERYTHING BURNS."

...

"The best of fun!"