Author's Note: Trigger Warning for references of Sexual Assault/Rape.

I woke up being beneath the vast sky. I looked to the left and saw half of the building. Looked to the right and saw the other half of the building. These halves weren't on the ground level. I knew exactly what I was going to face first. I cautiously sat up. I was on those five pipes again WAY high off the ground. The drop was at least ten stories down.

I turned my head and the upper part of my body as much as I could. The door was to my back. I carefully got on all fours towards the direction of the door. I crawled towards the door while muttering "Big tree! Big tree! Big tree!". I had no problem climbing trees or climbing between the branches. Coming down was a different story. I eventually get to the ledge of the building. I rested my back against the cool wall of the building and looked up towards the sky.

When I looked back down, I was in a clearing at Amity near a gigantic wood pile. A massive Brown recluse spider came out. It stood at two stories tall. I ran for it with the bastard behind me. I got to the tree line and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my father's quiver resting against a tree. I grabbed it on the rub. I hid behind another tree as I strung the bow. I positioned an arrow on the string and kept the arrow pointing down. I cautiously peered around the tree and saw the spider coming. I got out from my hiding space with the arrow raised. I shot the first arrow in the spider's one of two middle legs on the right side. I repeated the action on the other side of the spider. Then, I fired two more arrows that landed in the two other middle legs. The spider's fangs oozed venom that could mess up the skin on some victims like me. To me, that shit will always be like acid.

I looked down on the ground and saw a variety of weapons. There was a gun, a sword, a machete, and a bazooka. I chose the sword. The spider was defenseless. It was looking at me with six eyes. For some odd reason, I got the sense that it was scared. It wasn't angry any more. It was afraid for it's life. If it was a human, it would be in the corner pleading for mercy.

I was going to originally slice the damn spider's head off. I realized then and there that my anger was directed at the spider for something that it was doing when it felt trapped. It defended itself...like any other being would. I suddenly felt sorry for it. I dropped my sword. I made sure not to get too close to the spider where it could easily bite me. I pulled out the two arrows on the right side. Then, I ran behind the spider to the other side to remove the last two arrows.

The spider turned around. I dropped to my knees and closed my eyes. I expected death to follow. I waited for a few minutes and nothing happen. I looked up. The big spider wasn't there any more. It had return to it's normal size. It looked at me, extremely puzzled.

"Go!" I shouted at it. "Go away! Leave!"

The spider didn't need to be told twice. It scattered so fast away from me that it was gone within thirty seconds. I got up from the ground. That was weird. It was the first time I ever reacted to the spider fear that way.

The landscape shifted once more. I found myself in the attic of the barn at Amity. Four approached me. Yet, he didn't seem like Four either.

"I need you to help me." He told me as he lead me to a bale of hay with a blanket on it.

I felt a cold chill go down my spine. I know fear simulations were to test us on how we reacted to fear. However, this was beginning to hit home for me. More so than usual

It was mirroring what had happened to me the first time Adam raped me. Same excuse to lure me to him. Same location where he raped me. Same bale of hay with a blanket on top where he forced himself on me. Only difference was Four was standing in front of me rather than Adam. However, his swagger was Adam's. It was like my mind was too afraid to reveal it was Adam since so many were watching this simulation.

"What do you need help with?" I asked, pretending to sound curious. I knew what was coming though.

"This!" Four said as he try to stab me with a sedation dart. Since this has already happened to me, I dodged to one side and kicked him beneath the arm pit. I elbowed him in the back. He fell to the floor. When he was about to get up, I kicked him in the nuts as hard as he could. He went down hard. He moaned as he lay on the floor in a fetal position, cupping himself.

I felt tears swim in my eyes. I had wished this is what really happened rather than what actually happened. However, I couldn't do nothing about it. There was no time machine to change the past.

I climbed down the ladder and ran out of the barn. I had come straight out onto an Amity farming field. I looked around. I saw someone standing on the opposite end of the field. I realized it was my dad.

"Daddy!" I cried in delight.

"Gemma!" My dad said with a smile on his face. He looked happy to see me!

I happily ran to him. There was so much I wanted to say to him. I had just run past a small pool when I was jerked back. I feel to the ground. I threw out my arm and twisted my body so I would land on my side. That way, I wouldn't hit my head. My arm and hips would take the impact of the fall. I felt something around my stomach. It was a thick rope. The knot was on my back. I tried to untie it. I felt another jerk. I realized I was being dragged towards the small pool of water.

"Daddy! Help me!"

"I can't." He said sadly.

I felt like I got struck in my face. "What do you mean you can't?"

"The only way you can free yourself is if you tell me what happened to you." He told me. "You can't let your past tie you down."

Ah, the pun! I realized with horror what he was talking about. The more I confess about what happened to me, the more the rope wouldn't pull me into the water. If I didn't, it would pull me into the water and probably drown me. I was fucked either way. One way I would die, but my secret would be safe with me. While I wouldn't die with the other option, the people watching the simulations would know what happened to me.

"Gemma, why did you leave Amity?" My dad asked curiously.

I didn't answer. I got jerked back. "Dad!" I cried as the rope pulled me back inch by inch. I dug into the mud and grass. However, it was futile.

"Why did you leave Amity?" My dad asked again.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Maybe if I pinched myself hard I would wake up from the simulation. Nope, it didn't work. The rope had pulled me back till the point where I felt my toes in the water. Here it goes

"I was raped." I said meekly. I felt the rope loosening up. I pulled myself up and began to walk away from the pool.

"What?" My dad asked in disbelief. Horror crossed his face.

"I was raped." I said a little louder this time. I felt the rope loosening up more. I walked a little bit closer to my dad.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"My rapist threatened to kill you, mom, Daisy, Sol, and Jonas." I was able to walk closer to my dad.

"Is the rape one of the reasons why you joined Dauntless?"

"Yes" I replied. I was almost in arm's reach of my father. "At least, one of the reasons"

"What are the others?"

"I wanted to learn how to defend myself." I told him. "I wanted to learn how to kill a person, so I can kill him. I wanted to kill him to protect you all."

"That's not Amity behavior." My dad reprimanded me.

"I know." I said sadly. "That's why I had to leave Amity."

"Who raped you?"

Ah, damn! I was dreading that question. I had almost been able to hug my dad too. When I didn't answer, the rope pulled me back.

"No!" I protested as I dug back into the ground to prevent being pulled towards the pool.

"Who raped you?" My dad repeated.

I couldn't! I just couldn't say who raped me. The rope pulled me back far enough now where my boots were in the water.

"Who raped you?"

Now, my legs were in the water. I can't say who raped me. It may have been fine to say it to my father since he was already dead. However, not to the rest of my family and Jonas. I looked at him with tears in my eyes as the rope continue to drag me into the water.

"Who were you raped by?" My dad demanded. He was beginning to look angry. "Tell me now or you'll die."

I closed my eyes. My head was almost covered by water when I lifted my head and shouted "Adam" before going under.

I felt the rope loosen once more. I took a much needed breath as my head broke the surface of the water. I crawled out of the pool drenched.

"Who?" My dad asked again. He sounded like he was in disbelief.

"I was raped by Adam." I told him, my voice quivering a bit. I got up and walked towards my father. I heard a snap, and I felt the rope slip off my body. My father pulled me against him, and hugged me tightly. I sobbed against him.

"Shhhh, it's okay baby" My dad assured me.

"I'm so sorry, daddy" I cried. "I should've told you and mom about it. I should've reported it. I should've joined Amity and not Dauntless, but I was afraid. I was afraid of being raped again, and it still happened when I joined Dauntless. I'm sorry that I beat Adam. I know you were disappointed in me. I'm sorry that I didn't get to see you again before I got to apologize for what I did to Adam. I'm sorry that I didn't get to say good bye to you. I'm just sorry."

"It's okay, baby." My dad said soothingly. "There is no need to apologize. I'm proud of what you have done. I may have not been happy about you beating Adam up when you went to Amity a few weeks ago, but I am now that I know what he did to you. I'm sorry for what he did to you. The one thing I hope for is that you get peace from this eventually. I love you, my little Gem. I will always love you." He hugged me one more time before he floated upward towards the sky.