I Can Breathe Again.

July 12, 2016.

Zurich, Switzerland.

Cristina slumped over the kitchen table, an entire day of work behind her, and an entire night of parenting ahead of her. She was alone in the house with a seventeen-month-old tornado that was determined not to let a bum leg stop him from destroying everything in his path. He ran around the couch for the thirtieth time, screaming like a banshee, when the commercials came on between his favorite shows. He had something that looked like it had previous been attached to the tub bobbing around in his mouth, and he drug her comforter behind him, bearing it like the flag of victory. He only stopped to gaze at the TV, making sure he wasn't missing any little talking dogs with safety vests on, and then he went on with his screaming.

She was in the middle of a video chat with Meredith, who was having a similar experience with a three-and-a-half-year-old demon of her own. She had a similar posture, too, and an expression that begged for rescue. Sometimes during their calls they just stared at each other like this, sharing their pain, reminding each other that their lives were intersecting again.

"Bailey!" Meredith snapped, sitting up suddenly. Her voice made Cristian stir, and Collin paused in the living room. "Hey! Leave the dog alone! Zola, get your brother!"

She sunk down again, groaning.

Cristina blew out a heavy breath. "So, did you hear about preschool?"

"His birthday is barely in the green zone," Meredith responded groggily. "So, yeah, when August comes he'll be spending three hours every other day sharing germs with about eight other kids. Oh, and Sofia is so excited for kindergarten! You should see her little book bag. When I pick her up I'll send you a picture."

"Are they still thinking about having another one?"

Meredith smiled. "Well, for once Callie is against it, and Arizona is for it. So I'm not sure. If they do, I hope it's a boy. Bailey needs somebody to play with – someone who won't put makeup on him and make him sit in the prison-laundry-basket."

Cristina stretched her arms out in front of her, enjoying the way her muscles felt when they unlocked for the evening. She yawned. "You said you had something to tell me."

Suddenly her friend had an innocent expression on. "Did I? I don't know what it was."

"Right. Spill it. Now."

Meredith grinned like a guilty little kid. "I got some interesting news today. I didn't want to bother you at work. Derek doesn't even know yet."

"Are you about to say what I think you're about to say?"

"I'm pregnant!"

Cristina could not contain her smile, despite her own misgivings about children at the moment. She squealed like a teenager, and Collin stopped to make sure the house wasn't on fire. She waved him off, grabbing her phone from the counter and holding it a bit closer to her face. "Congratulations! For how long? What did the doctors say?"

"Well, my age is obviously a concern, but apart from that she expects me to have a normal pregnancy. They ran a full genetic panel – should be in by next week – and the chromosomal check came back with double X's."

"Derek is about to be outnumbered in your house."

"Girls rule the world," Meredith said. Her excitement was palpable.

Cristina spent a few minutes smiling back and forth with her friend, wondering about the baby, curious about how Derek would react, gathering up tips to handle Collin, and then she asked the question that had been bouncing between them for weeks.

"Is Derek still considering that job in D.C.?"

Meredith frowned slightly, her happiness caught under a shadow. "We've been talking about it, but every time I bring it up, it turns into a fight. I'm so sick of that stupid job offer."

"It's a big move."

"Yeah! It's literally across the country. I mean, we have three kids to think about now. Zola will have to move in the middle of kindergarten – you know how hard it is for her to make new friends. We would lose our babysitting network. She would never get to see Sofia."

Cristina was nodding. She had come to Switzerland to progress her career, but she was on the side of family when it came to Meredith and Derek. Family was their strongest quality. It was the thing that had pulled them together over the years. What was best for Cristina was not best for them. She wanted Meredith to be happy, and uprooting her children would bring her down.

"Oh, there was something else," Meredith said suddenly, catching Cristina in a weird train of thoughts. She took the camera through a few rooms and flopped down on her bed. "I saw Owen today. He looked really upset. Did you guys ever talk?"

"Since he asked me to start a fairytale life with him? No." She could remember that conversation like it had happened five minutes ago. Owen, going on about how great they could be together, trying to forget everything that had driven them apart. "He thinks we can just… be together. He thinks we can both drop everything and make it work somehow."

"Stupid prince charming," Meredith responded.

Cristina snorted. "Yeah."

"Probably thinks he can just fly out there and scoop you up in his arms."

"Probably."

"He probably thinks he can just knock on your door and kiss you, and all will be forgiven."

"He probably does."

"What a jerk."

"Exactly."

There was a knock on her door. She glanced up, skin prickling at the possibility, and she found Meredith grinning at her on the screen.

"What did you do?" Cristina demanded.

"What a best friend is supposed to do," Meredith responded simply. "Goodnight. Call me in the morning, if we're still on speaking terms." She cut the video off.

Cristina seethed, dropping her phone on the counter. The knock came again. Collin came into the kitchen and asked to be held, looking uncertainly at the door. They didn't generally have visitors. She took a deep breath and approached it, scraping her disorderly work hair back with one hand.

When she opened the door, her heart did a little jump. He was standing there in a thick brown jacket, his hair a little fluffier than the last time they had met, his eyes sparkling like he wasn't completely out of his mind. He had a bouquet of vibrant red roses in one hand, and a gift in the other, carefully wrapped with alphabet paper. He was just as handsome as the first day they had met, just as ruggedly built, and just as gentle in his disposition. It was the image she dreamt about when the nights were too long, and the days too hectic. And here she was, still wearing wrinkled blue scrubs, her hair falling out of a bun, her kid wearing only a diaper with half a fudge sickle on his face. She must have looked like the crazy one.

"I thought we could talk," Owen said, pulling her screen door open and stepping inside. She took a step away, allowing him in, and continued to marvel at him. He smiled, pushing the door shut behind him. "Meredith said you might have a minute."

She searched for the words. "H-How…?"

"I took a few days off, short notice," he told her, putting the roses under his arm and pulling out the present. He looked at Collin. "You wanna see what I got you?"

"He doesn't like strangers," Cristina advised, sighing when Collin struggled down her side and snatched the box from Owen. He plopped down on the floor and started tearing into it. "You little whore," she muttered. "I thought we had something special."

Owen stepped around the baby, coming unapologetically into her bubble. She flashed back to the first time they met, and she was frozen to the spot, staring at him, captured in his eyes again.

"I did some thinking," he whispered, his voice barely loud enough for her to hear over the furious beating of her heart. "My life is already full of disappointments, of failures, of pains that I could have, and should have, avoided. I survived a war, Cristina, and so much since then. I went through a whole saga with you, and I hated it, and I loved it. But I don't think it has to be over. I don't think we end like that. I think it just keeps going."

She felt the magnetism reawakening between them. It had been present at the Christmas party, on the back deck on that cold, quiet night. It had been present in the hospital while she was holding Collin, when she thought her life might be falling apart.

It was there now, in the affection his eyes showed, in the tender way he touched her arm, in the hum of his voice as it reached her ears.

He took her face in both hands and pressed his lips gently to hers. It was not without the passion that had marked the earlier years of their relationship, but that passion was bottled. Owen was holding onto it. It was clear in his eyes as he pulled away. He wanted to take more than a sweet kiss. He wanted to take her, all of her, but he was cautious of her reaction.

She was at a loss for a few moments, just staring at him, just waiting for her mind to come to terms with what was happening. She put her hands over his, running her fingers over his rough knuckles, recalling how it felt when his those same hands pinched her hips. It had been so long since he had dared hold her this way, since a kiss between them had produced so many sparks. It made her want to giggle like a child, but all she could do was grin. She smiled like she was seeing the sunshine after a long, long night. She smiled like she was coming home, like the world finally made sense after years of strange happenings. She smiled like they had never been separated, like he had been here with her all along, in not only her thoughts, but in her heart.

And she cried. She sunk into his arms like a baby, burying her face in his neck, holding onto him with the distinct fear that he would vanish. Whatever strength she had been growing in the years since she left Seattle shattered and fell away all around her. She didn't need it anymore.

Owen was still smiling, stroking her hair, hugging her tightly. Comfort was his specialty. He was a big ginger teddy bear. "So does that mean you agree with me?" he murmured in her ear.

She nodded into his shoulder.

"I have something else to ask you, then."

She reeled in her sobs, realizing she was breaking down. She probably sounded awful. Collin was giving her the weirdest look from the floor. She ran her hand over her face, still pressed wholly against Owen, and looked into his neck. "What?" she asked.

He pulled her away, holding her head in his hands once more. His eyes were alive with elation. "Cristina Yang, will you marry me, again?"

"What will everybody think?"

"Honestly," he responded, kissing her forehead. "I don't care."

XxX

It was the middle of the night, several hours past her usual bedtime. She had to work in the morning, but she genuinely didn't care. Collin had been asleep since nine, having played his heart out with the baby guitar Owen had brought for him. She had turned his fan on and pointed it away from him so the white noise would obscure what the adults were doing in the other room.

She could have fallen asleep a long time ago, but she kept herself up, desperate to hold onto this day for a little bit longer. For the first time in a long time, she was curled up against Owen, his hand draped across her back, her head resting on his shoulder. She was breathing his scent, staring at his peaceful face, listening to the rhythmic sound of his breathing. She had dreamt of him joining her in this bed since she had bought it, and to have him here now seemed like another dream. It was a cruel, cruel joke her mind was playing on her. It had to be.

"Stop doing that," Owen murmured beside her.

She smiled, running her thumb over his jaw. "Doing what?"

"You're freaking out."

She twisted her lips. "I'm not…"

"You are."

"Am not."

"Cristina, I know you."

She rolled over, snuggling further into his side. She hooked her leg over his, desiring that their skin touched anywhere and everywhere that it could. "I just… I keep waiting to wake up."

He hummed deep in his throat.

"Stuff like this doesn't happen in real life," she went on. "Hot guys don't just show up at your door and ask you to remarry them."

"Well, I took a plane from Seattle that stopped off in Miami and Berlin, so, trust me, I didn't just show up. There was a lot of in-between involved."

"You and Meredith conspired. I'm not sure I like that."

"Do you like the outcome?"

She smiled again, thinking of how wonderful the last few hours with him had been. "Duh. I just… this is just… we can't just… I can't believe I just…"

"See? You're freaking out."

"I agreed to marry you," she pointed out. "I deserve to freak out."

He shifted around, pressing a kiss to her forehead, her cheek, and then her neck. "What do you really think of this? Do you think… do you believe what I said?"

"No. But if you left right now, I think I would actually melt into this bed."

"Your answers are conflicting."

She pulled his head up from between her breasts, unable to help a smile at his adorable expression. She kissed him, running both hands through his hair, enjoying the way he felt. Her words came in direct contrast with her contentment. "We had major problems, Owen."

"I think we overcame those after our divorce. We were together, and we were fine."

"We broke up, in case you forgot."

"We got back together."

"And then I left. Are you noticing a theme?"

He smirked. "Face it. We couldn't stay away from each other because we were great together."

"Because we were addicted to each other," she countered. "It hurt for us to be together. You can't tell me that you've forgotten all the awful things we did to each other."

His eyes darkened for a split second. "But I realized something while you were gone. We always came back together. We always found a way back to each other. When you left… it felt like I had been ripped in half, like I was had just back from the desert again. Part of me was missing. Part of me was right here in Zurich."

She was starting to get emotional again, dragged down by his urgent tone. She hugged herself to him, resting her face against his neck, listening to his words as a hum that came from all around.

"We get one chance," Owen said, pressing a few hard kisses to the top of her head. "We get one life each, Cristina, and I choose to spend mine with you. If you want the same thing, marry me. If you don't, I'll leave, and I won't come back."

She took a settling breath. She had not even considered another option the first time he had proposed. It was shortly after the shooting, when her walls were crumbling down, when she was constantly afraid that he was going to be hurt, and that she would lose him. Her mind had not been in the condition to consider such a big question.

But now she saw the possibilities on both sides of the spectrum. She saw the fights, the screaming, the sleepless nights. She saw Collin growing up with two drastically different parents. She saw the same old arguments coming up again and again. She felt the intense loneliness, the betrayal, the awful sensation of being trapped.

And she also saw the beauty in it.

She saw herself waking up beside him every morning, no longer alone with her thoughts. She saw his hand out every time an obstacle seemed to difficult, and every time her arms were too full, and she thought she might drop everything. She saw him with Collin, encouraging him through his rehab, running beside him while he hobbled across the playground. She saw him growing older. She saw him holding open doors and sharing a box of cereal with her even when the two of them had long retired from medicine. She saw the life that he did, if only for a moment, and she wanted it so badly that it actually ached. If only life were so perfect.

Her thoughts led her from a sad frown to a smile, and she leaned up to kiss him. She ended up resting her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was the most beautiful thing about him. It was the sound of his spirit.

"It has to be something small," she whispered. "Just between us."

She felt his mood lift. "Is that another yes?"

"Yes, you idiot," she murmured, sitting her chin up on his chest. She smiled at him, glad for the grin he gave her in response. She ran her hand over his face. "I love you."

He captured her hand, kissing the back of it. "I love you, too."