Chapter 36
Later that evening, the gang met back up at the hotel...
"Woowee, you guys gotta check out all the fish we caught earlier!" Shawn exclaimed, bringing in a bucket while Hunter brought in another.
"Yeah, fresh saltwater filets!" he added.
"Well, can you guys zip those up or something? I don't want to live in a fishy room!" exclaimed Candice.
"But we gotta prepare them for the fish fry! Oh, I can just see it now. All we gotta do is scale these, take out the good stuff, cornmeal em up real good, throw em up on the grill, and have a couple of drinks under the night sky." replied Hunter. "MmmMMM!"
"Well, I'm sorry to spoil your fun, but we already ordered dinner from here." replied Eve.
"But what about the fish fry?" cried Shawn.
"Save em for tomorrow. They'll last another day." she replied.
"See, I told you they wouldn't go for it." Shawn grumbled to Hunter.
"Well, this whole fishing thing was YOUR idea!" he argued.
"Guys, relax! We ordered steak and ribs, so will that ease your pain?" asked Randy.
They looked at each other.
"To hell with this fish, bring on the meat, baby!" cried Hunter.
"Now we just gotta wait for Jeff and Maria and Kelly and Edge to get back here." announced Candice.
After she said that, Random Puppy and Random Kitty sped in the room first with Jeff stumbling behind, holding their leashes. "Hey, calm it down, just stay on the damn leashes, will ya?" he cried.
"They don't like to be yelled at, Enigma." Maria replied, carrying all the other animals. "Hey, everyone, sorry we're late!"
"No biggie, we just ordered room service. You guys up for steak and ribs?" asked Matt.
"Sweet." agreed Jeff. "Ria, you have dinner for the animals?"
"Yep, the people at the animal daycare were so nice." she replied. "Here's the Pedigree, the Fancy Feast, the Hamster feed, nuts for the squirrel, the guinea pig nibblets, the gerbil nuggets, and carrots for the bunny."
Surprised, they all looked at her.
"...What?" she asked.
"Nothing, Ria." Eve shook it off. "So, uh, anyone seen Kelly and Edge?"
Then, they heard arguing voices coming towards their door. "I'm sorry, Kel, I had no idea!"
"DON'T talk to me!"
"Come on, Kel, I said that I was sorry!" Edge exclaimed.
"Move." Kelly, who was extremely sunburned, announced, bursting in the room.
Shocked, they all looked at her.
She looked back at them. "WHAT?" she demanded.
They all quickly turned back to their regular activities. "Kelly, what the hell happened to you?" asked Candice.
"You look like a crab!" cried Shawn.
"Don't ask me. Ask Edge for using freaking COOKING OIL on me instead of suntan lotion!" she cried, flopping on a bed.
"Cooking oil?" exclaimed Randy. "Who the hell rubs cooking oil on somebody?"
"Look, I was distracted at the time, all right?" he demanded. "I took my eyes away for one second and I accidentally grabbed the wrong bottle! Anyone can mistake cooking oil for sunscreen!"
"No, they can't." they all replied.
"Oh, thanks, GANG." he replied, sitting next to Kelly. "Kel, please, just let me make things right."
"DON'T touch me!" she cried, coiling back onto the bed. "And if you think that you're sleeping in the same bed as me, you're deeply mistaken, BUB."
"BUB?" Edge cried.
"Guys, guys, wait. At least stick around for dinner, we're having steak and ribs. Won't that lift up your spirits?" asked Candice.
Kelly glared at Edge. "Fine."
"Fine." he replied, looking back at her.
...
Soon after that, the gang was gathered around a table, enjoying dinner before all hell would break loose...
"Pass me the steak sauce?" asked Hunter. "Man, I gotta say, I'm glad we saved the fish fry for tomorrow, this steak is amazing."
"Hey, Eve, where were you during the day? I thought we had plans to go to the gift shop earlier." said Matt.
"Oh, that's right! I guess it kinda just slipped my mind." she replied.
"Then why is that gift shop bag right by your purse?" he asked, suspicious.
"Uh..." she began, glancing towards Maria while she shrugged. "...Ria and I went to the gift shop earlier."
He put his glass down and nodded. "It slipped your mind, huh?" he asked, not looking at her.
"Matt-"
"If you didn't want to go with me, you could've just told me." he replied.
"It's not like that, Matt!" she exclaimed.
"Anyone want steak sauce?" asked Hunter.
"Eve, you've been acting strange all day! What, does it have something to do with me?" he cried.
"Well, Matt, maybe it does!" she replied.
"What is it, then? Are you mad at me about something I didn't even know I did?" he demanded.
"No, I'm mad at you for something that you never do." she replied.
"And what may that be?" he asked.
"You've never made love to me!" she announced, when Randy swallowed his drink the wrong way, Shawn nearly spat out his, Edge and Jeff looked at him in shock, the girls said nothing, and Hunter was eating like nothing was going on.
"...What?" he asked, shocked.
"Yeah, of course you'd have no idea about that." she said, storming off. "Excuse me, guys."
Matt stood there in utter confusion before Jeff asked, "Hey, you gonna be ok, dude?"
"I dunno." he replied, going back to his plate.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Hunter spoke up, "Well, this steak sauce is amazing, isn-"
"ALL RIGHT!" they all cried.
"Sorry!" he exclaimed.
"You've never scored with her, dude?" Edge asked him.
"Look, I don't want to talk about it, all right?" he demanded. "Now let's all just sit here and be quiet."
"You're sure as hell not scoring tonight." Kelly muttered to Edge while he pouted.
"Aww!"
Then, Shawn said, "Hey, guys, do you hear something?"
"My sobs?" asked Edge.
"No, like a hissing sound. Like air escaping from a tire." he replied.
They were all quiet and looked around before Maria exclaimed, "Oh! It must've gotten in my bag!"
"What?" asked Jeff.
She ran to her purse and whipped out a medium sized black snake with orange and red stripes. "My new pet snake that I found!" she exclaimed.
Meanwhile the others (minus Hunter) were freaking out.
Shocked at his girlfriend's latest discovery, Jeff went wide eyed and dropped his fork.
"SNAKE?" cried Kelly. "Oh, my God, Ria, are you insane? I hate snakes!"
"Relax, he's not gonna bite you!" she exclaimed. "I found him outside with nothing to do!" Then, he slithered out of her hands when she cried, "Oops! Snakey, get back here!"
The snake frightened the other animals, which caused them to either attack each other or run rampant around the room. The hamster and the guinea pig hopped onto the table while everyone tried to hide their plates, while they all cried, "STOP!-Get them away from the food!"
"Hammy, Guinny, STOP!" Maria cried, diving onto the table, only to get herself messed up in the process. Puppy and Kitty were chasing each other and leaped across the table, where Puppy knocked over the punch bowl, splashing juice all over them.
"AAAAAHHH!" they cried.
The snake slithered towards them, when Kelly ran towards the bed, screaming, and Edge sped to the bed, only to be shoved off by her. He crawled under the bed where he cried, "OW!" He rolled out and cried, "Ok, that squirrel just bit the WRONG kind of nuts!"
"Hell, don't touch the fish!" Shawn cried, grabbing the buckets and high tailing it out of the room. Then, the hamster, the gerbil, and the guinea pig were all chasing each other in circles, until they leaped over Matt's head and startled Bunny, who chased them all away. The snake hissed loudly while Kelly screamed, "LOOK OUT! AAH!" before shoving Edge out of the way with Edge stumbling out next.
"Ok, things are getting too weird around here, I gotta talk to Eve, goodnight!" Matt said, heading out next.
*SLAM!*
Hunter was still eating, Randy and Candice sat there, stunned, and Jeff sighed, speechless. Maria straightened herself and grabbed the snake and placed it back in her bag before she giggled. "Haha, that went well."
"Sure." Jeff replied dully, cleaning his face with the towel. "Sure, it did."
"Jeffro, are you mad at me?" she asked, nervous.
He sighed, slammed the towel down, got up and headed towards the door before he said, "Well, I'm not happy with you, I'll tell you that." he said seriously, heading out next.
She looked hurt. "Huh? Jeff? Jeff, wait!" she cried, running after him.
"Where's the steak sauce?" cried Hunter.
"Well, some honeymoon, eh, Candy?" asked Randy.
"Yeah. Cheers." she replied, clinking her glass with his.