Characters:
Jett 'Australia' Kirkland
Matthew 'Canada' Williams
Ivan 'Russia' Braginski
Alfred F. 'America' Jones

Pairings; misinterpreted RussCan

Summary; there's a giant polar bear in the corner of Matthew's hotel room

"Good luck in the Olympics!" Jett hollers, "I brought beer! And lager, in case you want to drink something actually good."

Matthew laughs. "I've got beer, vodka, and now lager and more beer! I think there's some whisky here too… Everyone's whishing me luck, it's weird."

"We all know how competitive you and Braginski can get."

"I don't need luck to take on Ivan. Want one of your lagers?"

"Sure, mate."

Matthew hands him the can, "It's better than the tap water here. Anyway, good luck to you, too."

"Unlike you, I'm gonna need it; I'm not Northern like you and Ivan and Scandinavia," Jett raises his can in cheers, "And good luck to everyone you lot go up against!"

Matthew laughs again. "Are you getting shitloads of good luck gifts, too?"

"I got vodka from Ivan, but I think he's just sending vodka to everyone."

"And polar bears," Matthew adds.

"What?"

"Polar bears," Matthew points to the corner, where a huge stuffed polar bear sits.

"That thing is fucking terrifying," Jett says, "I was hoping it'd be real."

"You say that it's terrifying, then are disappointed that it's not real?! What could be more terrifying than a full-grown polar bear?"

The polar bear twitches suddenly, and raises its arms. Jett and Matthew both scream in surprise, Matthew dragging Jett away from the bear before the Australian tries to do anything stupid. The polar bear reaches up until its paws are on its cheeks, then it pushes its own head up until; "Privet!"

Jett stares gormlessly as Ivan puts the mask down. "Why are you in a polar bear costume?"

"I'm not sure," Ivan frowns, "I don't really remember getting in it. Or getting in here. I just woke up here to some stupid American shouting about the Olympics. Then I looked around, realised I was here, then realised it wasn't a stupid American who woke, but a stupid Australian."

"Hey!" Jett snaps.

"What did you do to the polar bear?!" Matthew screams, over his shock of the polar bear ripping its own head off.

Ivan winces at the noise, "Please be quiet, comrade Matvey, I have a headache."

"What were you getting drunk for?" Jett asks, grinning, "Nervous?"

"Nyet. Just celebrating the opening with my people."

"Yeah, right, we'll believe you."

Ivan glares coldly. "I think I will leave now."

"You can't just wander around in a polar bear costume!" Matthew scolds him.

"I'm not sure if I'm actually dressed," Ivan says.

"You're fucking kidding me!" Matthew stares at him, before shaking his head like a penalising mother, "Turn around; I'll have a look. If you are, me and Jett can see if we can round you up some big enough clothes. Ukraine's just down the hall; I'm sure she'll have something."

Ivan obediently turns around, allowing Matthew to unbutton the costume slightly. "You've got your scarf," Matthew commentates, "No shirt."

Just as the costume has been peeled off the Russian until it hangs from his waist, Matthew confirming the presence of a pair of trousers and starting to help pull the costume down further, not noticing that he's knelt in front of Ivan, Alfred comes crashing through the door. "Hey, Matt- what the fuck?!"

Matthew's head snaps around to his twin, then back to Ivan, before realising exactly where his head is and exactly why Jett has been giggling like an idiot for several minutes. "It's not what it looks like!"

"Matvey is helping me out of my polar bear costume," Ivan says innocently.

"I'm not! Well, I am, but he's got trousers on, and I'm damn sure I sent Jett to get a shirt from Ukraine!" Matthew glares at the Australian.

Ivan looks Alfred directly in the eye, too-wide grin in place. "Canada and Australia are becoming one with Mother Russia."

Alfred smirks. "No they're not. They're men, and you're anti-gay now."

Ivan's grin drops. "I forgot about that."

"Really? Everyone in the world is jabbing at you for that, and you forgot?"

"I, uh…" Ivan finally manages to kick off the costume, revealing bare feet, "I'm just going to leave now."

"You're literally just in a pair of jeans!" Jett points at the article, "You'll freeze!"

"I am Russian; I will be fine," Ivan shrugs, and leaves, slamming the door behind him. Then re-opens the door to retrieve the end of the scarf he had trapped in the door, and slams it again, breaking the shitty door in half. He curses it in Russian, and sighs, walking away, mumbling to himself and cradling his throbbing head.

Alfred stares at his twin, still traumatised by the scene he walked in on and Ivan's words.

"D'you need a lager?" Jett asks the Yankee, holding a can out. Alfred nods, takes the can, cracks it and drinks, eyes not leaving Matthew's flustered face.

The Winter Olympics have started! Good luck to all the competitors! And I have an idea for another (slightly) Winter Olympic themed chapter, so that'll be here soon!

I don't own Hetalia, or the Winter Olympics. I don't even do sport. I rarely even leave my room.
-Laurel Silver