Red Light Duex

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

Chapter 36 (Progress)

"Amazed as I am by this request, I'm happy because it shows progress." Sam wanted to celebrate with loud proclaim, for in her office were both sisters and their mother. They'd agreed to having a joint session with all of them, and Sam was going to let them get out whatever they needed.

Alice sat beside her, looking at the family with the same pride. "I'm glad you took our advice and went to see your family, Holly." Holly's cheeks reddened as her daughters looked up at her. "And they accepted you without question, did they not?" Alice looked to be pleased with herself, and Sam could understand it. She was satisfied too because the women were taking the steps they needed to make in order to recover.

It would be a long process, but so long as they were willing to take the necessary steps, they could make it. The one thing that still surprised her, but she was happy to see, was that Holly took Tori and got away from her husband all on her own without suggestion.

"Has there been any further interaction with David?" It was a hard question to ask them at this point, but it was a necessary one.

"No there hasn't," Holly responded, "Since leaving the house, I haven't made any attempt to contact him. He has tried calling, but I don't answer." Sam nodded respectfully and turned to the daughters.

"Mom convinced me to delete and block his number," Tori remarked with a heavy sigh. "I…It was foolish of me to think there was any hope in Dad." Sam rolled her head to the right and glanced at Alice. In this session, Alice was letting her lead, a mark on how much she'd been learning. The women were not her only clients, of course.

"Why?" Sam reclined and curled a finger over her chin while watching Tori's reaction. The young girl hunched forward and dipped her eyes down. "What makes you think it's foolish?" Trina and Holly looked at her with concern, but said nothing, to allow her a chance to explain.

"Because I've always been the naïve one. I've always believed there's good in everyone. I'm the one that tries to be optimistic-and of course I'm the one that wanted my family to be together." Tori's hands closed tight and the veins rose to the surface of them. "The last time I saw dad was that night when he looked at me, the way he did was just…" Tori gagged on her words and closed her eyes. "I can't. I can't believe how stupid I was to think that he could change! That he could get better!"

"He's your father," Holly said with a gentle repose. Tori's eyelids opened halfway and a whimper left her lips. "It's neither stupid or foolish of you to want, hope, or think that your own dad could get better or change. I know. I wanted that so much for years…but over the years I just saw a man that was sinking deeper and deeper."

"Then why?" Tori shot her a look as her eyes grew misty. "Why did you do nothing, mama?" Holly's muscles appeared to tense while Trina turned her head away. "Every time-" Tori's nostrils spread apart and her lips trembled as she fought back a sob. "Every time he'd come into our rooms, every time we cried out for you to do something, why? Why did you do nothing?"

"Because I didn't know what to do." Tori's face sank as Holly's hands trembled on her knees and fresh tears streamed down the woman's face. "I knew I was supposed to protect you, to protect my babies-but I didn't know how to protect you against a man that should never hurt you. I was scared, too scared-confused. I trusted that man, I-I cared for that man. How could I fathom what kind of monster would hurt his own daughters? I know I should have taken you two and ran a long time ago…I thought he'd find us, I couldn't picture escaping from him and actually succeeding. I couldn't stop him, I didn't even know how."

Holly moved her hand up over her eyes, trying to cover up her own tears as her daughters watched her. "I know what you must think of me, or how horrible of a mother I am." She took a deep breath, which trembled with her chest. "And I could say 'I'm sorry' a million times and it would never be enough."

Tori bowed her head and Trina's eyelids tightened over her eyes. "You took Tori and you got out," Trina replied with a difficult groan. "You got away from Dad. As late as it was, it's a start. So is actually taking us to see your family-our family." Tori rubbed her fingertips together for several seconds, then leaned sideways against her mother.

"And we don't hate you." Holly's breath hitched as her daughter rubbed against her and set her head onto her shoulder. "We're just-well I don't know how Trina thinks but I know how I feel. I'm just angry and hurt that it took this long." Trina smiled sadly and reached across Holly to squeeze Tori's hand.

"I know how that feels, sis."

"And don't think I hate Gary either. I can't tell you how many times I wished you would leave Dad for him. Though in a way that wasn't…cheap." Holly wiped her eyes with the bottom of her palm and chuckled through her tears. "You're our mom, and you want to protect us-I know. I guess I can understand being afraid of dad…"

Holly took her daughters by the hand, squeezing gently while sniffling as she looked to the tears on their faces. "I love you both very much. You're my babies, my angels, and I promise you…I'm never going to let that monster hurt you again."

Sam watched the women hug each other, realizing that sometimes just the presence of a therapist was all that may be needed to get two or more people to communicate. It was just the simple fact that the counselor served as a referee, giving the people the feeling of security to be open and say what was needed without fearing too much retaliation.

"Tell me," Sam began as the three broke from the hug, "What are your plans now that you've gone to see your family? I know you mentioned their offer to have you move in and stay with them."

"That's correct." Holly grabbed a tissue and dried her eyes with it. "My dad wants us to stay with him. We can still come in for therapy once a week or so, joint session or individual, so it's not a big problem."

"I think it could be good for you. They sound like good people to aid in your recovery process."

"There's still a lot to think about. All Tori's friends are here, and Trina still plans to stay on as Cat's roommate. Understandably it's only twenty minutes of a drive, but still might be out of the way for Tori to see her friends or even her sister."

These were good points that Holly had, and she needed to consider them along with all other points. "Here's what I would like for you to do, then." Holly leaned forward a bit, staring back at Sam eagerly. "I'd like for you, and for both of you girls to write out a list of pros and cons in this decision-making process."

"You think it'll help?"

"Sure. Whenever you make a decision that is a major one, it's always good to weigh the benefits alongside the negatives. Then once you have done that, go over the list again to consider each point you've made. Once you feel ready to make your decision, follow the gut instinct that comes to mind." Sam took a pause and moved her eyes from Holly to her daughters. "Of course, all of you should make that decision together."

Tori's face scrunched and she pointed over to her sister. "Even though Trina's staying with Cat?" Sam closed her eyes and put forth a brief smile.

"Yes. She is a part of the family, and that decision would affect her as well." Sam reclined and brought her hands together, tapping her fingertips against one another. "I do feel I need to ask, does David have any knowledge about where Cat lives?"

"No," Trina replied. Sam didn't think he would, but she couldn't be certain. Not to mention, it was Nona's name that still listed, so it wouldn't be as easy for David to search Trina's name and find the address. "I don't think he's even aware that I've moved in with Cat."

"Alright, that is good news." Normally she would suggest they try and work things out with the man, but after some consideration and advice from Alice, she came to the conclusion that this would not be the best route to take. The three women needed to heal, to recover, and they could not do that if David remained an issue for them. "Now I need to ask you three, is there any part of you that wants to work on maintaining any kind of interaction or relation with your father?"

It would be different if they wanted to hang on. She couldn't tell them exactly what to do, only what she thought might be the best route to take. If they wanted to pursue some kind of connection with the man, it was their choice.

Holly frowned as her daughters exchanged uncertain glances. Their mother drew in a strong breath and grasped tight her jeans. "My father wants me to pursue a divorce." Sam's eyebrows rose and a surprised hum vibrated from her lips. "My parents, and my brother, were horrified when I told them what kind of monster he became. Almost immediately the urged me to divorce him and focus on repairing a relationship with my girls."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I…" Holly's eyelids fell shut and she released her breath. "I think they're right. I don't see how I can pursue a relationship with David when I can't even trust the man. Knowing my parents, knowing how against divorce they've always been, to have them urge me to divorce him-"

"You would then feel that their opinion is correct?"

"Yeah." Holly shrugged and shook her head gently from side to side. "I can't speak for my daughters, because this man is their father, but I know that for me personally…I don't want anything more to do with him. If it wasn't for his status as their father, I'd do everything I could to keep him away from my girls."

"He won't change," Tori whispered, "I don't thinks so. For the first time, I don't feel hopeful or optimistic at all. I feel afraid of him, frightened and anxious. Like I did that night, I feel like I want to run-that I need to run away from him." Tori scratched at her forehead as it tensed beneath her nails. "I still have nightmares that he's there, doing things-saying things…I can't move, I can't get away because he's my dad. He should be protecting me, but he's…no…"

Trina reached around and took Tori's hand, causing the girl to take pause and look to her sister with a sorrowful smile. "It's okay," Trina broke into tears and squeezed the girl's hand. "It's going to be okay. I don't know how, but I feel like things might work out."

"Yeah…" Tori breathed in sharply and turned back to Sam. "So no, I don't want to remain in contact with that man. I can't bring myself to hate him, but I can't forgive either. Can't trust. He didn't just hurt me, you know. He hurt my sister, and he hurt my mother." Tori's breathing increased in speed and her eyes drifted to Holly. "Without even touching her, but forcing her to sit there for years, afraid…he hurt our mom. I don't want anything to do with him."

Trina folded her arms across her chest and shut her eyes. "I agree with Tori." The girl shook her head quickly and uttered a single low grow. "It's hard to even call him 'dad', to be honest with you."

"I think this may be the best route to take," Sam replied carefully, "To work on a relationship between the three of you and heal without him in your lives. It may take a while to understand that yes, he'll always be a part of your past and of your memory, but you can move on. You can move forward, and you can heal."

Sam turned to the sound of a scoff and raised her eyebrows at Trina. "To think that I'll have to see that man's face any time I turn on the local news. How can we escape him even if he's not a part of our lives?"

"It's hard at first, and it will hurt-very much like tearing a bandaid from your skin. For times like that, when you may see him if you're watching the news, change the channel. Know that while avoiding and pretending the past isn't there is a bad thing to do, you might for a time need to avoid anything that is associated with him. Anything that could trigger flashbacks, painful memories. Those will come, they will happen, so don't be afraid of them and don't try to avoid them. Let it work its way out."

"What happens when they come?"

"Take deep breaths, try to focus on something-anything to take your mind off." She knew the routine well from her own experiences. Eventually they stop, but never permanently. "There are still things that trigger flashbacks for me, but the impact is less because I've found ways to get through them-and so will all of you. It takes time, but be there for each other and work through this, and you'll make it."

Tori ripped out a shuddering breath and turned down her head. "What if it never gets better?"

"It will one day. You just have to work on it."

"I will. I think all of us will."

The first joint session with all three, and I'd say it went well.