Chapter 35 – Hard To Accept

It was hard pretending like everything was okay when it wasn't. Respecting Tsunade's wishes, Sakura put on a cheerful expression and acted like nothing was nothing, acted like Tsunade wasn't dying. But every day, every single day, the thought of her beloved shishou no longer being around crept up on Sakura, cutting off her ability to think and breathe. If that happened, she always made sure to be alone, to find some time to herself.

Other than herself and Itachi, only Shizune knew of her illness. They were the only people she could talk to about it. Tsunade was defensive about the illness and apparently, the only examinations she had had, were from herself and one or two from Shizune when the younger woman confronted her about the illness. What it was, they didn't know. There wasn't a specific name for it. It was, in Tsunade's words, her past catching up to her.

A couple of weeks had gone by since finding out and since then, Sakura went to visit Tsunade every day. She had done that before finding out, but she was making sure she stayed for longer, storing everything about the woman to memory. Sakura didn't want to forget a single thing about her. It was driving Tsunade insane, she knew that, but Sakura had always thought that her shishou looked best when angered. That was when she looked most lively, instead of blank and calm. It just wasn't her.

How long did Tsunade have left now? Just over three months. Just the thought of the blonde passing away made Sakura feel sick to her stomach. What would happen to their village?

Of course, she knew she needn't worry. Itachi would make a great Hokage. The only problem would be the elders. Sooner or later, they were going to find out about Tsunade's illness and with it, her successor. Instead of it being Hatake Kakashi like they had wanted when Tsunade was unconscious, it was instead going to be Itachi, the one they had tried so hard not to allow become Hokage.

Would Itachi be able to handle the stress of everything, though? Sakura wasn't doubting her husband in the least, for she knew what he was capable of. However, being Hokage was not easy at all and then adding to that, he was also heir to his clan. They were trying for a baby. One of them, perhaps even two, would have to be put on hold or cut off.

But… Why?

Senju Hashirama, the Shodai Hokage, had not only been Hokage, but also head of his clan and a father. There was the small fact that he had his brother helping him, Tobirama (also know as the Nidaime), but… Sakura frowned softly, a sigh escaping her.

Could Itachi handle the stress of everything?

"What are you thinking about?"

Her eyes slowly opened, revealing the bare, muscle defined chest she was resting her head on. It was definitely a beautiful sight to wake up to, seeing Itachi beneath her, even if it was only partly. "You," Sakura told him truthfully, her voice quiet. "Everything."

"Such as?"

Sakura resisted the urge to shut her eyes once more as Itachi began to run his fingers gently and slowly up and down her spine, causing her skin to break out in goosebumps. "I'm worried for you and the stress that's going to be placed on your shoulders."

His hand didn't pause for a moment. "I know."

"I'm going to help you," she stated, leaning up and over him as she placed her elbows on each side of his body. "And you know that Shisui-san will, too. Hell, if you ask him, Kakashi-sensei will help just as long as you don't make him do paperwork. And–"

"Sakura, relax," he murmured. "I have already decided who my advisers will be."

Sakura bit her lip, watching him carefully. "Oh?"

Itachi nodded once, eyes going up to the ceiling. "Given that Shisui thinks of only what is best for the village, and what is the right thing to do, he will be one of my advisers. I know that I can trust him to help me come up with the right decisions, to help me lead and protect our village." In response, Sakura nodded, telling him silently that she was listening. "I would have had Sasuke be my other adviser, but he is too impulsive and does not think things through clearly enough." He also had plans already for his brother. "I cannot risk having him as one of my advisers, going with me on delegations or possible summits." A pause, one where his wife watched him. "I have been thinking of having Kakashi-san as my other adviser. The elders all wanted him to be the Rokudaime and hopefully, having him as my adviser will appease them."

That sounded ideal and smart, Sakura agreed. "Just don't trust him with paperwork. It'll never get done."

He gave her a small smile. "I know." Then, in that same murmur, "I have also come to the decision that you will be my personal medic."

Silence.

"But…"

"You're Sasuke's personal medic, I am aware." Itachi sighed. "However, given your responsibility of helping run the hospital with Shizune-san, you will not be leaving the village nearly as much as you used to. You will still be Sasuke's medic, as I know how he is with trusting others. However, when I am to leave the village, you will be coming with me and be by my side as my medic."

A smile graced her lips, a relieved one. "I was hoping you'd say that. Being Hokage means you'll be targeted a lot more while travelling outside the village. Even though you're more than capable of protecting yourself, not being there would make me go insane."

He nodded once. That was perhaps part of the reason why he had considered the option. Having a medic travelling with them was always useful, but having a medic who could defend herself and fight on the front lines, was even more useful. Itachi knew he wouldn't have to watch over her every move. The only thing to look out for would be her impulsive streak, her anger, if they were at a Kage Summit.

And Itachi had the feeling that a summit would be happening fairly soon.

"Naruto will want to fight you."

Itachi gave a soft smirk at the thought of the blond demanding that they battle. It had always been Naruto's dream to become Hokage, to have the village acknowledge and respect him. He already had their respect and acknowledgement. All Naruto had to do now was become stronger, wiser. Only then would Itachi allow for the Uzumaki to take the title as the next Hokage, only then would he trust Naruto enough to lead and protect their village. Perhaps he should teach the younger man a few things, prepare him for being Hokage?

At that moment in time, Tsunade wasn't teaching Itachi much about becoming Hokage as it all had to stay quiet, at least until she informed the elders of her choice and her illness. He had to admit that he wasn't looking forward to it. Hours and hours were going to be spent in the oversized meeting room that had been untouched in the attack, since it was behind the Hokage monument. ANBU headquarters had also been undamaged.

"Hokage-sama is planning on telling the elders today."

Sakura watched him for a moment, watched his eyes. "Are you ready? After this… There's no backing out."

He sighed. "It is what is best for the village."

"Do you want me to be there?" she asked quietly, stroking his cheek. "For support and to scare them, I mean."

A low and throaty chuckle escaped him, bringing a smile to Sakura's lips. "I believe I do that enough myself. Although, your presence would be pleasant to have."

"Then I'll be there," she told him with that same smile. "We're equals, so don't feel like you can't lean on me if you need to. God knows I've leaned on you so much lately."

"It is all part of being a husband," Itachi murmured in response. "For better or for worse."

"Why did you call this meeting, Tsunade-hime?"

Tsunade took a deep breath, secretly wishing that her apprentice wasn't in the room as it was more than obvious Sakura was still adjusting to the news, before speaking, "I'm just going to be blunt with you both. I'm dying."

It startled them to say the least.

"W-What?" Koharu stammered, her ever-closed eyes widening. "Is there nothing that can be done?"

"No." The blonde shrugged simply, leaning back and casually resting her arm on the back of the sofa she was sitting on. "It's finally my time and I'm at peace with it."

"Finally…" Homura repeated and despite everything he had been taught, despite everything he had learned, just like Koharu, he was having a difficult time staying composed. The news was simply… startling – and that wasn't even adding the fact that Tsunade just blurted it out like it meant absolutely nothing. "You're saying this as though you're giving in."

Nodding in agreement, Tsunade raised an eyebrow, never breaking eye contact with the man. "Some will see it that way. My own student being one of them."

Many eyes went to Sakura, who was thankfully managing to keep it together. It was more to do with having Itachi by her side, radiating comfort to her, than being over it or accepting the news, though. No, Sakura accepted that her shishou was dying, but at the same time, it was hard to fully accept never seeing her again.

"However," Tsunade continued, "Sakura is coming to terms with this and is accepting my choice – like I know and hope the villagers as well as yourselves will."

There was a pause as Koharu got her thoughts together, as she finally composed herself after such a shock. "If this is what you want, then…" The old woman shook her head, truly looking her age. "This leaves us in a horrible situation, though, Tsunade-hime. You are our Hokage – the village looks up to you, especially in times such as these, for order and to be leaded. We need a Hokage who will lead us through this battle with Iwa, and this village definitely needs stability right now."

"Which is why I have already chosen the next Hokage for you."

Understanding flashed on their features faster than Sakura thought possible.

"You cannot possibly be suggesting that this Uchiha–"

"I am," Tsunade cut Homura off firmly. "Uchiha Itachi has been a member of ANBU since way before I took on the role of Hokage – since he was just a child. My sensei, Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage, believed that to be Hokage, one must think in a way that shows you the bigger picture. And sometimes, as hard as it is to believe, I see my grandfather in that boy."

This time, it was rage on their faces. "Hashirama-sama would be turning in his grave–"

"He would not," she cut them off once more. "Don't you remember anything at all? While I was growing up, that man was the most accepting person I have ever met – to this day, I still stand by that. The only thing my grandfather refused to accept, was any harm that threatened his beloved village – the village, if I recall correctly, an Uchiha helped create."

Koharu was practically glaring a hole right through Tsunade's face. "You dare mention Uchiha Madara in front of us? You're nothing but a naïve girl, Tsunade-hime! He may have helped create the village, but he also threatened it many times. That is why your accepting grandfather killed him!"

There was a pause, one where Sakura and Itachi both watched the anger Tsunade tried so very hard to conceal, growing. It was in the way she gripped a tight hold of the back of the sofa she was sitting on. The way her left eyebrow was ticking warningly. Except for those two obvious signs, however, she appeared to be deceivingly calm.

"Over the years, Uchiha Itachi has been by my side and done everything within his power to protect our village. Where I have been unable to do so, he has always assisted me in making difficult decisions. Just a few months ago, he and Uchiha Shisui took control of ANBU, the Uchiha and the Hyuuga clans, giving out orders and defending our village with their lives. However, they did something before that, something that has stuck with me to this very day and made me see them both in a new light." Another pause. "Do you remember the sacrifice my great-uncle made?"

Homura glanced to the side briefly, recalling the memories of that particular battle. "Of course we do – we were there. Tobirama-sensei gave his life for the village."

Tsunade nodded once. "By taking on the Kinkaku Force, he knew he would lose his life. Tobirama accepted this and went to that battle with his head held high, fighting with everything he had, and went down swinging. That is what I remember most about my great-uncle. The honourable sacrifice he made for this village."

Koharu nodded once. "It was the day Hiruzen became Hokage. Where are you going with this?"

"Where I'm going with this is…" She shook her head, finally sitting up. "Despite the risks, despite knowing they could lose their lives, Uchiha Shisui and Itachi, along with only two other ANBU operatives, went up against thousands of Iwa-nin to defend our village. They fought for an unknown amount of time without backup, without anybody but themselves watching each other's backs. Are you really going to tell me that that is not Hokage material?"

A sigh reached their ears. "We will admit that it was an honourable thing to do, but that does not sway our decision. Many shinobi have given their lives for this village. Just because he has made a great decision like Tobirama-sensei's, it does not make him Hokage material, Tsunade-hime. We have had this discussion with Itachi before, when Hatake Kakashi was going to become Hokage, should you never wake up."

The younger woman chuckled with a shake of her head. "You'd really want Kakashi as your Hokage? The man is powerful, he is intelligent and is capable of making hard decisions, but every person has his downfalls. Kakashi's happens to be his inability of turning up on time to any occasion – probably his own funeral, too. He is also reluctant to take on the role of Hokage, which I see as a major problem. It's like you both said." She shrugged. "Konoha needs stability. Konoha needs somebody reliable and trustworthy to lead. Having a man who doesn't want to be Hokage, who has so many personal demons of his own, is simply asking for trouble."

"And you think Uchiha Itachi is up to something such as this?"

Was it wrong for Sakura to feel aggravated that they were all speaking of her husband like he wasn't even there? And that he was merely accepting it without batting an eyelash? It was so rude!

"I truly believe that Itachi has more than what it takes to lead this village."

But hearing Tsunade defending him like that, hearing the honesty in her voice, allowed some of her anger to fizzle away into nothing. There was a fiery look in her eyes, one that was practically screaming that she really did believe in Itachi.

"Think back on everything he has done up to this point. Think back on what he's done, almost done, and was asked to do." Tsunade raised a fine, blonde eyebrow. "Can you honestly tell me that he doesn't have this village's best interests at heart? Can you really sit there and say that he has some ulterior motive to becoming Hokage? You know as well as I that Uchiha Itachi would never do anything that would harm this village."

"However," Homura pointed out, "Itachi is also heir of his clan. What happens when he becomes patriarch? How do we know that the Uchiha Clan won't force their way further into the village and take control? Will he be able to cope with the added stress?"

Sakura scowled at the man, unable to stop herself from speaking. "Senju Hashirama was head of his clan. Did that ever stop him from being able to separate clan duties and protecting the village as its leader? Did it ever cloud his judgement or make him mix the two?"

The look she was shot from Koharu could only be described as annoyance. "You are just a child, Haruno–"

"Uchiha," Sakura spat, eyes narrowing. "It's Uchiha Sakura, now. So, forgive me for not being as… polite, as yourself, but I refuse to stand here and listen to you both finding reasons as to why my husband shouldn't become Hokage, when we all know that he's the best candidate for the role. In all my time knowing Itachi, he's always expressed to me how important it is that we make sure the village is safe and protected, that we put our missions first and then be ourselves. What happens, happens and while we may not like it, it's for the best. It's for the good of the village. In all my life, I've never met anyone who is as selfless as Itachi. Not once has he ever put himself first. Not when it comes to the village, not when it comes to his clan and not when it comes to friends."

Taking a deep breath, she pressed her fisted hands onto her hips, just about holding back the urge to punch the elders. "In my eyes, being Hokage means you have to be selfless. You have to be prepared to make hard decisions that could very well mean you don't have a life of your own. You need to live for the village. Everything you do, impacts it. Itachi… He's already there. He already thinks like a Hokage. So you can sit there and go through reason after reason as to why you believe this won't work, but we all know you're only fooling yourselves and delaying the inevitable. You know that Itachi will make a great Hokage!"

Something eased off Itachi's shoulders at his wife's speech, as he listened and watched her fight for him. She believed he could do it. Sakura believed he could take on the role of Hokage and be great at it. Until that moment, Itachi hadn't been so sure. He hadn't wanted to risk having the entire village on his shoulders, though was going along with it for the sake of the village. Now, he was more confident with Tsunade's decision.

He was going to be the Rokudaime Hokage, whether the elders liked it or not.

"We do not need your approval," Itachi told them rather simply, eyes never moving from Homura's as he stared the other man down with an unblinking, intimidating gaze. "It would be better for you to give it to us, but it is not needed. I have always lived my life putting the village first and I plan on continuing living that way. Only, I will be doing it as Hokage from now on." When they stared at him in stunned silence, he continued, "My advisers have already been picked and I have spoken with Tsunade-sama about them. She agrees."

"Your choices?" Koharu murmured reluctantly.

Sakura bit back her grin.

"Uchiha Shisui and Hatake Kakashi – the latter being your previous choice for Hokage," he stated. "And I can assure you that I will not make any rash, final decisions without consulting them both, and the pair of you, first."

It took a few moments until Homura gave a nod. "I am not one hundred percent comfortable with having an Uchiha as Hokage, with having one of your advisers be an Uchiha, but I will accept it due to the fact that I am aware of your sacrifices. I am aware of all your hard work. I merely hope that you know, it is only going to get harder from here."

"That I don't doubt," Itachi murmured in response. "However, I have always admired Senju Hashirama's approach of being Hokage – do not shoulder everything alone and try to do everything by yourself." It was okay to ask for help.

Koharu sighed. "Hiruzen always believed in you, Uchiha Itachi."

"We just hope that he wasn't wrong to do so," Homura finished.

He nodded once. "All I ask is that we keep this from everyone for now. I wish to inform my clan in my own time, just as Tsunade-sama wishes to inform the villagers of her illness in her own time, also."

"And in return, Koharu and I ask that you do not take too long. Too much change for one village is never good."

"Congratulations." Tsunade smirked as soon as the two elders left the room, allowing both Sakura and Itachi to sit down opposite her in their previous seats. "You won those stubborn old farts over."

"We have more good news," Sakura said slowly, glancing up at Itachi.

"Oh?" The blonde's smirk widened. Today, she felt so much lighter than she had in weeks. The village was going to be left in capable hands, which meant she could now die peacefully without having to worry about them. Knowing Itachi, he would have this whole mess with Iwa sorted sooner or later, whether it be by gentle persuasion and luring the Tsuchikage into an understanding, or intimidating the old man into one. "And what would that be?"

Sakura took a deep breath, biting her lip. "I think I might be pregnant."

Silence.

Tsunade's heart stopped for a couple of seconds, making her think for just a split second that death had come early. "You think you're pregnant?"

Instead of Sakura answering, it was Itachi. "And we would like for you to be the one who examines Sakura."

Pregnant. Sakura. Her apprentice could be pregnant. Today was a good day, after all. It took a lot for Tsunade to hold back her smile, appearing stern as she instead nodded once. "Of course. But don't get your hopes up just yet. It's only been a short amount of time since you were telling me that nothing was happening, Sakura. I gave you a recipe of a mixture of herbs that can be used as fertility treatment, but it is uncommon for it to work so quickly. Just keep that in mind."

"I am." Sakura nodded, her heart skipping beats and her stomach fluttering nervously. "Are you free right now to examine me?"

"Right now?" Tsunade tortured her apprentice for a moment before giving a small smile. "Of course I am. Any appointments I have can wait." She stood up, masking her grunt easily as it proved to be quite a deal more effort than she'd thought. "I'll meet you both at the hospital in ten minutes."

Sakura breathed in shakily, a nervous smile on her lips as she gazed down at her stomach. The examination was halfway done. By her side, Itachi sat silently, watching as Tsunade's eyebrows knitted together. It seemed his wife did not see the look, but he did. He could see the building unease in her stance as it shifted and in response, unease filled him, too.

"Tell me something, Sakura," Tsunade murmured, schooling her features so she did not cause any unnecessary fear. "When was your last period?"

Thoughtful for a moment, she glanced up at the ceiling, calculating. "I'd say just over a month and a half ago."

The blonde nodded, her hands moving slightly on Sakura's abdomen. "And is your menstrual cycle regular?"

Itachi watched as Sakura bit her lip and shook her head. Even he knew that they were not regular. How long had he and Sakura been together now? Altogether, it would be well over a year – closer to two, in fact. There were still a few who believed they had married much too quickly, but Itachi didn't listen to their opinions. They did not matter. He was sure on his decision to be with Sakura, just like she was sure about him. Those people did not know how their relationship worked.

"Do you experience any unusual pain?"

"…Define 'unusual'."

"You know what I mean, Sakura."

Seeing the stubborn look in her eyes (which was rare to happen while with her shishou), Itachi sighed. "There are times when Sakura experiences back pain and stomach cramps, to the point where she cannot go about her daily routine unless she numbs the pain."

"Itachi!"

"Tsunade-sama is not only your medic, but also our Hokage, Sakura," he told her calmly.

She shook her head, turning it away from him. "This is still personal."

"I need to know these things, Sakura," Tsunade spoke seriously, pinning her with a glare.

Her heart broke. "…I'm not pregnant, am I?"

The blonde shut her eyes and sighed. "No," she murmured softly, her anger fading away and her chest aching when Sakura took in a deep, shaky breath. That was why she had told the younger woman not to get her hopes up. "I'm going to ask you a few questions now and I want you to answer me truthfully, do you understand?"

Itachi frowned slightly. "Is there a problem?"

"There may be." Looking down at her apprentice, Tsunade asked, "How long have you been trying to conceive?"

"Around four months now." Sakura looked up at Itachi for confirmation and he nodded once. "Yeah, four months."

"And growing up, did you happen to have any excessive hair growth? Mostly to the face, chest or back?"

Sakura's heart began to pound in her chest. Already, she knew where this was going. "No."

Tsunade glanced at Itachi and he shook his head. In all his time knowing Sakura, there had been no excessive hair growth. "What about your weight? You have definitely filled out since you were thirteen, although that's not too surprising. However, I've noticed that it hasn't been until recently that you became more curvaceous."

Her eyebrows knitted together. "I do my best to stay in shape, but… yes. I've put on a little weight." Though not enough to say it was worrying. It was only the odd couple of pounds here and there and because of how much she worked out, because of her training and her missions, it didn't cause too much of a difference in her appearance. But like Tsunade had stated, she was curvier now. Her hips were fuller, her thighs a little thicker and her chest… Well, Sakura had been happy when her breasts began to grow (but that wasn't included in weight gain, she knew that). "I don't think I have what you think, Tsunade-sama."

"Which would be…?"

At Itachi's question, Tsunade sighed. "Polycystic ovaries syndrome – otherwise known as PCOS. Polycystic ovary syndrome is a common condition that affects how a woman's ovaries work. It's becoming more common than you'd think. Basically," she spoke to Itachi, noticing the rare frown on his usually blank features, "it means that there are cysts growing on the woman's ovaries. Sometimes, they do not ovulate regularly – release the egg. And other times, it means the woman has high levels of 'male hormones' called androgens in her body. It seems Sakura does not have the latter, but that means little."

She sighed again, focusing her chakra to a certain point in Sakura's abdomen, her womb. "There is an abnormality and most abnormalities can never be explained. Not even by myself. I can't pick up on many male hormones in your body. However," Sakura flinched at the however, "there is definitely an abnormality."

Once her chakra was extracted, Sakura looked up at her shishou helplessly. "I'm infertile."

"No, not infertile," Tsunade told her softly, placing a comforting hand on Sakura's shoulder. "It will be more difficult for you to conceive, but it shouldn't be impossible. That is why I believed you had polycystic ovaries, Sakura. It is not impossible for women suffering with it to fall pregnant. It just takes them longer and they have to make a few changes here and there. Such as medication and their diets and whatnot."

Sakura's head dropped back onto the bed, biting her lip harshly and seeing that she needed a minute, Tsunade dropped her hand and nodded once to Itachi, leaving the room.

"Sakura."

No answer.

"Our time will come, Sakura," he murmured softly to her, taking the hand that was laying limply on her stomach. "And when it does, we will have a large family."

Tears fell down the sides of her face faster than Sakura could wipe them away. "…I really w-wanted to be a mom."

Standing up, Itachi pulled her into a sitting position and held her, pressing his lips to her forehead. "I know." She trembled in his arms and it pained him when he felt his chest growing wet with her tears. They felt like they were burning him. "Remember what Tsunade-sama said, Sakura. You're not infertile. It will only be more difficult."

Sakura nodded shakily.

A/N - This is like the seventh time I've edited this chapter now and it's safe to say I'm sick of reading it hahaha. Fanfiction logged me out for some reason! So, if you find any mistakes, please tell me because I got really lazy this time.

Okay so, before you all start yelling at me about giving Sakura a break, please remember her previous battles! Not only did Sasori stab her in the stomach (quite close to her womb) but also, she had entire freaking arm going right through her stomach and out of her back. Surely they'd have some sort of negative effect? Also, remember what Tsunade said. She's not infertile. There's simply a complication that'll make it more difficult for Sakura to conceive.

Oooh. I've nearly finished Until It Was Too Late and Setting Sun. When I have, I'm going to start posting another story, but I'm stuck on which pairing it should be. GaaSaku, SasuSaku or ItaSaku? They're all multi-chaptered and the SasuSaku one has nothing to do with this story (the prequel still only has two chapters, after all). Opinions?