A/N: Happy New Year all! Hope 2011 will be good to you and yours. Sorry to have been slow to upload this installment - needed to get out of a bit of an editing funk. Winter just doesn't inspire me – simply want to hibernate and do nothing. And then this chapter seemed to fight me every step of the way. Still not completely happy with it, but it's time to move on.
Without further ado, let's find out what information Ettwanae and Warren risked so much to gain.
Chapter 33
Ettwanae rose, grabbed a robe, and slipped onto the bridge. She'd waste no more time on sleep. Everyone else was likely deep in slumber, but all she had managed was a nap. Too much anticipation, too much impatience. She had to know.
Slipping quickly onto Volu's bridge, she took her seat and nestled the amulet carefully into the depression literally made for it in the control panel. Her hands were shaking from excitement, and perhaps a touch of fear. What would she learn? The finely filigreed talisman shone briefly to signal recognition and then returned to its multi-toned golden color.
"Which node do you wish me to scan first?" Volu queried with unmistakable anticipation.
"Our people's history, then my lineage records. Scan both." She nearly squirmed with eagerness as the ruby node danced with an internal light. Seconds ticked by in excruciating slowness. "Well, Volu?"
"Another few moments, Poda."
More agonizing seconds passed as the second gem glowed with magenta fire. Would they find where their people had gone? Why they left? Even more importantly, were any of them still nearby? If so, where did they hide – how could they find them? And what of clues to Etxan'Ir? She knew it would not tell them where the vast library was, but perhaps some information was stored about its general location. She could hold her tongue no longer.
"Volu, please! Does it tell us where our people are?" Then her heart began to lurch – Volu was silent too long. 'Please, goddess – please give me the answers I seek!'
"My precious Poda," Volu's voice was gentle, but constricted. Ettwanae's chest tightened, her pulse quickened, and wings twitched. Something was very wrong. "The ancestral node is as we expected – the lineage of your parents. The racial node talks much about the ancient history of our people, but it is mostly old knowledge – information we already have. There appears to be a very long, dark period in our history of which little is known. It was apparently prior to or during that time our people were scattered and separated from the U'larr. It gives little in the way of explanation beyond speculation. There is no record of their fate aside from your direct ancestors."
Ettwanae felt as though she'd been slapped. Hard. "How can that be? It must be recorded what happen, where they went! Anything about who remains? Why did they leave? Why did some, like my parents, stay behind? There have to be answers, Volu! My mother said all the answers would be in the nodes!" She refused to believe such vital information was not recorded. Volu had misread.
"My Poda, to be precise, your mother said all the answers would be found once the amulet was whole. It is possible we misunderstood – perhaps she meant not just complete, but activated. Perhaps answers lie within Etxan'Ir."
"But I can't activate the amulet – Warren is bound to Ztar!" she decried the injustice. So much had been pinned on finding the missing nodes. Her stomach lurched and she felt ill. "No, this is not right. Read them again. You have missed something. Perhaps a secret file…" she demanded, grasping at straws.
"My soul hurts with yours, Poda. I held your same hope. The nodes do contain information we- I likely lost from before. That information is valuable. While they do not hold all we seek, the nodes tell us much. Do you wish to hear what I have learned?"
Ettwanae couldn't focus on what Volu was saying – she was reeling from the shattering of a dream.
/ Poda, share your thoughts… / the tender voice in her head encouraged.
Tears were coming and her throat and chest were so tight, Ettwanae feared she wouldn't be able to breathe much longer. Speaking was impossible. / I prayed we'd find out everything – I let myself believe we would. And now-? What happened to our people, Volu? / A single sob escaped, but she stopped herself from breaking down completely.
/ The node records that some form of cataclysmic event took place roughly 15,000 imperial years ago to the best estimate of the Eshaar'ne who inherited this line of memories. That Eshaar'ne was named Tyryn. She was born a long time after whatever happened and in the death throes of her mother. The memory transfer from mother to daughter was incomplete – only the oldest, deepest memories were given the newborn Tyryn; memories from before something her mother had called The Dark Coming. Tyryn believed her mother to have been gravely injured by forces seeking to destroy our races. Why she believed so, Tyryn did not record. Young Tyryn was alone for a long time. She searched desperately for our people and had nearly given in to ru'zha several times. Then by the grace of Ozshi'wanae, she found what she sought – an Eshaaru, one who was not joined. He and his soulbound were on a planet, tending to the needs of its primitive peoples. His name was D'Orito and she was D'Ousar. Years earlier, their own Eshaar'ne was dying. To save their lives, the Eshaar'ne left them on a planet the indigenous race called Turzen. /
Volu stopped and at first Ettwanae was puzzled why. Then Volu's words replayed in her mind. Two Eshaaru on a primitive Turzen… "Volu, are you saying D'Orito and D'Ousar were the basis for the Turzent legend?"
"I am certain of it. According to Tyryn's recordings, they helped the Turzents advance in many ways – agriculturally and scientifically. They healed many of their sick and helped unite several warring tribes into a single stable government."
"That is amazing!" Ettwanae could hardly believe that such a revelation had been given to her. The legendary Esserru were indeed Eshaaru – it was confirmed. "What else? What happened to them?"
"Tyryn, D'Orito, and D'Ousar remained on Turzen for a time after the new joining before deciding to leave in search of our people. The soulbounds had two children, Auril, a male, and Alue, female. The couple searched in vein for mates for their children. In desperation to save the race, brother and sister eventually mated, something rare but allowed under the circumstances. Aru and Ura must have permitted it as they became soulbounds and had offspring. Upon their bonding, they became Z'Auril and Z'Alue."
Ettwanae was a little taken aback by the news, but could understand the need to breed by whatever means available. "Did they ever find other Eshaaru?"
"Yes, but much later and only a few times over the course of the memory node, which spans several generations. Bits and pieces of our peoples' history were added with each meeting, but a complete picture of what occurred during The Dark Coming and the thousands of years following was never entirely pieced together."
"So D'Orito and D'Ousar did not know what happened during The Dark Coming, where our people went…nothing?"
"The memories indicate that was the case. Little is recorded about the time before their joining. That knowledge is likely lost to history – at least through your ancestors and those they met."
"Any idea how long after The Dark Coming Tyryn was born?"
"Her best estimate was several thousand years – perhaps as many as 7,000, as translated into modern imperial years."
"What of D'Orito's amulet – the one from his prior Eshaar'ne? It must have the memories of those ancestors?"
"It is recorded that he and Tyryn forged a new amulet and nodes. D'Orito added orally what he knew of Eshaaru history, and his and D'Ousar's lineages, which tells me his amulet was lost or destroyed. D'Orito does note his great disappointment upon learning the memory framework given to Tyryn by her mother was incomplete. He and his soulbound had hoped to gain more information than their previous Eshaar'ne had possessed, but that was not to be the case. The gap in history remained."
Ettwanae's heart sunk. Then she jerked mentally. "A lost amulet, nodes…an Eshaar'ne with incomplete memories. History repeated itself with you and me, Volu. It's as if the universe wants to erase what happened – prevent us from knowing."
"One could interpret it so." Volu's voice was laden with remorse.
Ettwanae hadn't meant to reopen old wounds. "Volu, you have nothing to regret – your memory loss was is from unbearable grief. Do not blame yourself. I thank Ozshi'wanae every day that my mother found you in time. I love you, Volu," she added, hoping to ease the Eshaar'ne's guilt for nearly surrendering herself to suicide. Then Ettwanae refocus them on the nodes. "At least D'Orito and D'Ousar could fully activate the new amulet – they were soulbounds."
"Yes, they had that advantage."
"Did D'Orito and his soulbound gather for Etxan'Ir?"
Hesitation. "They chose another path after leaving Turzen."
Ettwanae was getting an uneasy feeling. Volu's mood wasn't lifting and whispers of what Ettwanae didn't want to hear skirted the edge of her thoughts. "What happened to the bonded siblings?" The change in subject came without bidding. Subconscious avoidance?
"Tyryn mated with an Eshaar'ne they encountered in their journeys, and she birthed Sael. Z'Auril and Z'Alue left with Sael shortly thereafter. As your mother had done for you, D'Orito did for their children – created nodes to transfer all they knew. Those nodes were joined with the amulet Sael forged. That is the lineage of your nodes. No more is recorded about D'Orito, D'Ousar, or Tyryn. Z'Auril recorded he believed their parents died not long after the families went separate ways as they lost contact…he felt perhaps they were killed by the Shozen."
Ettwanae pulled her wings in close at the name. "The Shozen have hunted us that long?"
"It appears they are an old enemy."
"They should not have separated! There is strength in numbers."
"But also danger. If enemies found and killed them as a group, then another lineage would be forever gone."
Ettwanae nodded as she saw the logic in what they did. "What did the children do after leaving with Sael?"
Tension suddenly filled the bridge and unease rose. "The siblings decided to begin again the ancient work of knowledge gathering, work their parents had abandoned at some point before Turzen. As Sael noted, it gave them a purpose other than searching for more Eshaaru and Eshaar'ne; a search that had apparently consumed D'Orito and D'Ousar for a very long time."
There it was again – that truth Ettwanae didn't want to hear. As silence stretched out, she suspected Volu was waiting for her either to realize what was being implied or admit it. She closed her eyes and clenched her hands. "I don't understand. If D'Orito and D'Ousar served Etxan'Ir, even for a while…if Z'Auril and Z'Alue also served Etxan'Ir. If both pairs sought and did not find our people…" Her heart screamed its denial. "But mother's message – she said the answers would be revealed!"
"I have no explanation, Poda. Yet as with any databank, only what is inputted can be withdrawn. If knowledge-gathering truly ceased for thousands of years after the catastrophe, if all who knew left or died without transferring that knowing, then the answers," Volu seemed to take in a breath, "might not be there."
"But mother said…!" she protested, refusing to let hope die.
Volu remained quiet for many heartbeats. "It is also possible Etxan'Ir has not shared that information for reasons unknown. Perhaps the knowledge is being held for the right time or person. Perhaps it is knowledge too precious or too dangerous to be commonly held…that it is being withheld as a way to protect our surviving peoples. We can only speculate, my Poda."
Ettwanae's mind raced with the idea. It made sense. If where their people had fled was common knowledge and the Shozen somehow acquired it, all could be lost. Yet that was a double-edged protection – their people's secret refuge would be safeguarded, but that would also make it impossible for any straggling Eshaaru and Eshaar'ne to find them. "I will pray that Etxan'Ir holds the knowledge and will reveal it to us."
"I pray that will be so, as well, my Poda. We must have faith. Your mother would not have offered such hope lightly."
"She must have known something." Hope dangled from her words.
Ettwanae let the new knowledge settle. The nodes did fill gaps and provided much background information, yet the big questions remained unanswered – what happened to scatter their people in the first place, where had they gone, why did her ancestral gatherers not know the answers. And on a much more personal note, was her mother alive?
"I want to begin viewing the node memories on my own, Volu."
"I anticipated you would. Where do you wish to start?"
"My lineage." Thus, Ettwanae began to explore all that was recorded through the nodes created by her mother and linked to amulet forged by Volu after the death of her first Other and then hidden away in the family repository to await Ettwanae's coming of age and joining with the Eshaar'ne waiting in stasis. It would take a long time to wade through all the information, but Ettwanae looked forward to the journey of discovering who she was.
###
The Council was breathing a tentative sigh of relief. If plan worked, Archangel would be in a far less precarious situation with Tchutchka Centrus Planetary Security. Ztar's Court, and thus the Empire, would not mired in controversy over perceived power abuse. The details needed to fall into place, but Elder Phai predicted success. She had no doubt Den-neer's work would be convincing.
Project 1165, or "Failsafe" as she had privately dubbed it, would continue. Actually, it would benefit from her solution. According to recent reports, the project had advanced as far as Phai believed possible with the current team and resources. Time for a little external aid to push Failsafe toward its ultimate goal. Phai would provide that while giving the Tchut authorities something more than speculation as to why Archangel and his companion were accosted. Several low level Etagllot scientists would be sacrificed, but they were expendable – the Eshaaru pair and imperial stability were not.
Phai allowed herself some self-satisfaction – a two-prong solution from a single, expenditure of resources was efficient. She liked efficiency.
Prime Director Sident of Biotechnology would be instructed to assemble another Failsafe project team. A new research outpost was already being prepared beyond the reach of the Turzent Empire, Systems Commonwealth, or the increasingly hostile Par-Sen System government…and hopefully from the even greater enemy.
Head Researcher al'Verta Hercjell would remain in charge of Failsafe as under her direction, the project was actually ahead of schedule. She was proving herself as valuable as the Prime Director praised her to be. One day, she may indeed be his successor, if the organization survived long enough. In the present, however, Hercjell needed to complete the task before her. One last significant resource was required to ensure Failsafe's success. Phai would personally see to the transfer when all was ready.
She turned thoughts from anticipated triumphs, to the realized. Neu. The Eshaaru pair performed beyond expectations. Success silenced the remaining challenges to her decision to send Archangel and Ettwanae into the enemy's lair. It had been a tremendous risk, true – but the power unleashed was spectacular to behold. Millenniums had passed since anyone had witnessed such a glorious sight.
Elder Phai recalled with satisfaction the faces of her fellow Elders as they watched the holo feed from Den-neer. They quickly realized the pair had co-released as no single Eshaaru could channel that magnitude of Source photonic energy. Den-neer's Eshaar'ne recorded Source shockwaves well beyond the mountain valley above which the Eilu/Dark Ones citadel stood, though the people on the primitive world had no idea why they suddenly felt a surge of emotional wellbeing and many of their sick were cured. The release was many times greater than Archangel's psionic display on Fjai, and the physical healings revealed the female's Source filter.
The display also quieted Elder Ary's dispute that Archangel was pure Eshaaru, at least for now. Neu overpowered his arguments that Archangel's possibly contaminated DNA would be a hindrance. The genetic anomalies apparently had no affect on his ability to fully channel Source energy. First the small Fjai display and now Neu. Phai was vindicated. And even if Archangel was not genetically pure, it was proving irrelevant.
'Of more concern is his bond to Ztar, but each challenge in its time,' she told herself.
Phai smiled. Yes, the two Eshaaru had indeed strengthened from their pairing, even if that pairing was incomplete. Did they understand the extent of power they could summon if bonded? Likely not. The Eilu were doomed the moment the Eshaaru entered their lair as long as the pair responded correctly. Light devours dark. Her gamble paid off. They took Tider's strategically shared tidbits of knowledge and exploited them. Phai basked in the satisfaction of another success, yet cautioned herself that many more of the same were required to meet with ultimate triumph. Failure was untenable.
With a thought, holo images of Archangel and Ettwanae sprang up before Phai in her planning room. She elegantly circled the full-body images, her ice-blue robe flowing around long legs. Two magnificent beings obviously struggling from a lack of knowledge about their people and themselves. With the acquisition of the missing amulet nodes, they would gain more information, but the extent of that newfound knowledge had yet to be revealed. Even the great Council of Elders had no way to know what the nodes contained.
All had gone as planned – the nodes retrieved, Eshaaru faced Eilu, Emperor Ztar learned of the Dark Ones (as the uninformed called the Eilu), and he was witness to the power of the Eshaaru through his surrogate, General Gtar-Cro. Phai trusted Gtar-Cro to do what the man did best, unearth threats. At some point, through the man that was his eyes and ears, Ztar would learn of the darkness lurking all around them. Shedding light on the Dark Ones would put a face to the menace – something/someone tangible to focus upon. Well, partially tangible, Phai grimaced. His knowing the enemy would be Phai's path to Ztar's cooperation when the time came.
Achievement aside, the troubling part of Neu did not evade the Elder. Ettwanae and Archangel were within the Eilu's awareness even more prominently. She could only speculate what the Eilu had planned when they stole the memory nodes from Jandur. On the surface, it would appear to be bait for the female. A way to draw her in to destroy her. Yet Phai riled against such a simplistic explanation. There was more to it, but what? A frown forming across her deceptively delicate features, Phai decided to leave that puzzle for another day.
The Elder of Elders dismissed the images of the Eshaaru. Success on Neu was in the past; she needed to focus on strategic moves many steps into the future. Upon her mental command, the three-dimensional tracking board sprang up before her. She adjusted the position of Archangel, Ettwanae, and Ztar closer to their goal and then turned consideration to other points of light in the matrix – the Commonwealth, specifically. That knitted together federation of semi-autonomous systems needed to be unraveled.
###
Once everyone was up, Warren called a debriefing meeting over breakfast. Gatebi and Flint sat mesmerized at the blow-by-blow account of events within the citadel. Retrospect drove home just how close he and Ettwanae had come to losing their lives. If it hadn't been for the bravery of Meipa and the other Booettus…
The recap had gone well enough, but all during the meal Warren noticed Ettwanae's demeanor. Something was wrong, but she kept avoiding his inquisitive glances. At the end of the meeting, she dropped the bombshell. Her and Volu had already scanned the nodes while everyone else slept and they did not find what they'd hoped.
With a face reflecting disheartenment, she told them the nodes held no knowledge of where her people might be. He followed her eyes as they looked down at the hands locked in a tight clasp in the effort to control powerful emotions as she related they learned only that a mysterious event called the Dark Coming was likely responsible, but nothing as to what exactly that was or how it scattered her people and separated from their U'larr creators. White wings quivered as she explained there were no insights into why the Shozen hunted her kind only that they did. No reason for the U'larr's complete disappearance or what had transpired during the thousands of years following the Dark Coming.
Warren hurt for Ettwanae – for all of them. It was a major disappointment. So much risked for so few answers. But there were bright spots, Warren reminded himself – the amulet was complete and Ettwanae had gained her family history, but that fact seemed lost amid Ettwanae's pain of what was not learned.
While his heart hurt for Ettwanae, his nether region warmed as his eyes roamed over her of their own will. Libido was stirring yet again and it was putting Warren on edge. It'd been quiet for most of the past few days and he'd taken the break with gratitude considering their mission. Did Aru determine the danger had passed and decided to reawaken the incessant drive to mate? 'Not now, damn it!' he swore at the force he couldn't control. Garnering his will, he refocused on the conversation.
"But how is that possible?" Gatebi asked. "Aren't the nodes supposed to possess the history of the Eshaaru? Like a failsafe should something happen like…like what happened to Volu?"
Flint nodded with a puzzled look. "Gabby's right. I'm confused, Twae."
Ettwanae's wings drooped more. "They do, but only as much as those who created them knew. The Dark Coming happened maybe 15,000 years ago, a guess by my ancestors. At least that's what they were calling it when the memory node history begins. They believed the Dark Coming destroyed the U'larr and as a result, the galaxy fell into chaos. The nodes talk of Eshaaru and Eshaar'ne that my ancestors met and then never saw again, but they could add little to fill in the gap. Those meetings were few and far between – sometimes my ancestors would go hundreds of years before seeing or contacting other Eshaaru." Ettwanae shook her head disbelievingly. "It's hard to accept no one knew what happened…that the nodes don't tell us the fate of my people." Ettwanae was on the verge of tears.
"I'm sorry, Ettwanae," he offered with a tender look. What he really wanted was to offer a comforting embrace, but Aru's insistence was already growing, putting physical contact out of the question. The best he could do was keep Ettwanae focused on relating what she'd learn. "So when the Dark Coming happened, everything fell apart?"
She nodded, grasping the amulet to stare at it. "Both my ancestors and Volu's believed the void in history was the direct result of the U'larr civilization collapsing, which caused our peoples to be scattered. Some felt most of the U'larr and Eshaaru died during the Dark Coming, and those that remained were more focused on survival than recording history. Others believed our people left this sector of space and a few stayed behind to watch over Etxan'Ir. No one really knew. Between the Dark Coming and about 8,000 years ago is a lost time."
"What about the library? Did you learn anything more?"
"Not much, except that some of my ancestors were gathers. When this history node was created," Ettwanae pointed to the ruby red node, "my ancestors – D'Orito and D'Ousar – had ceased gathering, but their children started up again." She turned and tilted the amulet causing the gemstone-like nodes to catch and reflect light. They were stunning in their brilliance. "This magenta stone – that holds my lineage. And you all know that amethyst one is my parent's history," she noted pointing to the node at the bottom point of the equilateral triangle. Each point held a node. She rubbed a thumb over the crimson crystal in the center of the triangle, black lowlights twinkling. "This center node, this will be what connects and leads us to Etxan'Ir…if I become soulbound," she said quietly to no one in particular.
A pang hit Warren hard. His bond with Ztar was the reason for the impossibility. If only that night hadn't happened. If only Mon Genesis bombing hadn't occurred. If only… Then he pulled himself out of the trap that would get them nowhere. "Where do the Shozen come in?" Warren abruptly changed the subject.
Ettwanae's wings jerked slightly and she lifted her eyes to meet his. He read "sorry" in them. "The Shozen were hunting our people and greatly feared already 8,000 years ago. Why they did so, no one knew. Some speculated they had something to do with the fall of the U'larr."
Flint clenched a fist and looked angry. "Your people was already sufferin' and they decided to wipe ya out? Bastards!"
Warren leaned toward Ettwanae to ask another question when Aru fully woke. 'Shit!' He jolted as libido suddenly ratcheted up. Clenching a fist, he dug nails into flesh to maintain control. "What's the bottom line in all this? What have we gained by acquiring the nodes?" Racial and family histories were wonderful to have, but they needed something more to work with than genealogy.
Volu spoke before Ettwanae could answer. "We have a completed amulet, Warren. That alone is crucial for without, nothing else can be accomplished."
"But it's not activated…not without Ettwanae being bound." Demands to bed Ettwanae were quickly making him ornery, which in turn magnified frustrations over the seemingly endless roadblocks and dead-ends.
"It is not fully activated, Warren – there is a difference. It may be enough to allow us access to Etxan'Ir when we find it."
"But because she not bound, the amulet won't us lead there," Gatebi stated the obvious.
"You understand correctly."
Flint looked hopeful. "But since it's complete, it'll get us inside?"
"That is the theory."
"Only a theory, Volu?" Warren pressed, agitation growing quickly as sexual urges chafed and gnawed his insides.
Ettwanae let out an exasperated sigh and jumped in ahead of her Eshaar'ne. "Yes, Warren. Volu and I gave this much thought and we believe there is enough hinted at in the old knowledge to support the idea."
"So now all we gotta do is find the mega library. Piece of cake," the teen inserted with biting sarcasm. Tensions were quickly escalating in the small galley.
"And you didn't think it important enough to tell me it was only a theory?" Warren accused. Need continued to build. His body was priming itself and discomfort growing. 'Damn it, Aru – leave me alone!' he snarled silently.
"Perhaps you should visit Tider again – we are heading back to Tchutchka Centrus anyway," the Alcab suggested as she brushed back her short, orange hair with a huff of irritation. Warren had overhead her tell Ettwanae she needed to get it cut as long hair on Alcabs wasn't a desirable condition. The thick, unruly mane that was the norm for the species was best kept under control by a short crop. Apparently, it was a target for redirected annoyance.
Warren knew they would likely not be welcomed in the broker's presence for quite some time. He assumed Tchut authorities as well as MI had interrogated the man and maybe more than once. It might be better to let some time pass before visiting again, but the others didn't know that, of course. "We're going to avoid Tider, at least for now – his information is expensive."
Ettwanae shot Warren a puzzled look. "But what other options do we have? We have the LinCreds card – we can pay him this time. Gatebi told me there's plenty of credits…"
Warren shook his head at Ettwanae. "I'm holding Tider in reserve." The words came out sterner than he meant.
"Shouldn't we all be in on that decision?" Flint snapped.
"My LinCreds and I'm in charge. My decision." As soon as he said it, Warren knew it was a big mistake. Metaphoric daggers flew his way. 'Time to back peddle and get control, War. You're setting everyone off,' he ordered himself. "Sorry, you're right Flint. But let's make certain we haven't missed other clues that could lead the way first. I don't like the idea of relying on Tider – we don't know his allegiances."
"Warren is wise to be wary of Tider," Volu rallied behind Warren's argument. "I am uncomfortable with him knowing our path."
Warren was grateful Volu backed him up. He studied the others as they considered the reasoning. The reaction was mixed.
"That seems like a sensible precaution," Gatebi finally spoke in hesitant agreement. Ettwanae still looked unconvinced.
Suspicion crossed Flint's face, however. "Why is it we're going to Tchut again?"
Crossing his arms to reinforce his words, Warren looked his fellow Human straight in the eyes. "That is Royal Court business and unfortunately, I'm not allowed to explain further."
"Just seems rather odd that your Royal Court business takes us back to the planet where you and Twae nearly got nabbed." Flint narrowed his eyes. "I think it's got somethin' to do with that."
Ettwanae was suddenly extremely alert and watching Warren intently. He growled internally. 'Won't play this game.' He rose from the table and headed to where he'd stowed the Dison they acquired on Thael. Maybe alcohol would help subdue the irritability and libido. "We need a destination after Tchut," he redirected as he pulled a glass and the bottle from the galley compartment. "Was there anything in the nodes to tell us where that might be? At least a direction to head?"
"I have thoroughly scanned the nodes and they are devoid of references to Etxan'Ir's location. That is not unexpected as it is the code by which Eshaaru and Eshaar'ne live – the location is never to be revealed and is protected above all else."
As soon as the amber liqueur hit the glass, its aroma enticed him in. Dison was the best liqueur Warren ever experienced – sweet, fiery, and incredibly smooth. Even before returning to the table, he savored a sip, inhaling the delicious scent and warm memories held within. Reseated, Warren considered Volu's reply. Regrettably, it only added to his steadily increasing tetchiness.
"Why bother building a vast library if no one is to ever use it? That's pointless." The words came out harsh.
"I asked the same question when I first met Ettwanae," Gatebi jumped in. "The U'larr intended the library as a knowledge preservation vessel. According to Volu's racial and transferred memories, the U'larr intended to one day select an inheritor or inheritors of the library – a race wise enough to receive the gift."
"Apparently, they didn't find anyone worthy of their athenaeum before everything went to hell," he snipped with cynicism. "With the U'larr gone, who decides? The Eshaaru and Eshaar'ne?" Another sip of Dison did nothing to soothe raw nerves or subdue Aru. Physical discomfort was almost beyond the tolerable.
"It is not our place," Volu said with a touch of consternation.
That did it. Anger and frustration exploded. "Then what the hell is the purpose?" he demanded slamming a fist to the table. "Why spend lifetimes filling up a library that no one will ever use? To what end?"
He jerked at the sound of his own ire. 'Shit, Worthington, pull yourself together!' He quickly reined himself in, taking a deep breath and releasing slowly, silently. 'Easy, flyboy…'
Ettwanae blinked back tears and her lip trembled. "I- I think it's time for me to leave the room," Ettwanae announced and stood, but hesitated with a weary eye to Warren.
'God, War, you're such a jerk sometimes!' He set the Dison down sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Ettwanae. My mood isn't the best, but I shouldn't be snapping at everyone. Please stay."
Ettwanae became emboldened and her expression turned to disapproval. "Aru is affecting me as well, Warren. We are all frustrated with the lack of information and the barriers that keep jumping up. The rest of us have been dealing with that problem much longer than you. If we allow frustration to determine how we treat each other, we will not survive. We must act and speak with kindness and understanding or we become our own enemy."
Anger instantly coiled around Warren like a viper. 'How dare you dress me down!' came the silent, knee-jerk response. But just as quickly, he realized she spoke the truth. He was the one letting emotions and pride get out of hand.
"You are absolutely right, Ettwanae. Sorry, everyone," he apologized with a quick glance to his three shipmates. "I am frustrated and Aru is making me even crankier. I can control it…I just didn't want to quite enough." Then he held Ettwanae's gaze. "Please stay. I promise to be a good boy," he pleaded with this best boyish grin.
Her eyes darkened and the wings quivered. With a sigh, she returned to her seat. "Very well."
Flint snickered and leaned toward Warren. "What I warn ya about? They're a handful," Flint ribbed, pointing his thumb at the women.
That got the teen a friendly cuff to the shoulder by Ettwanae. The teen flashed a grin that told everyone he'd gotten exactly the reaction he'd hope. The shenanigans helped further deflate tensions. To Warren's amazed relief, libido suddenly eased up as well.
"Okay, then. We still need a destination after Tchut. No clues in the nodes. Do we have anything else?" As the question left his mouth, he remembered something. "What about that display of the galaxy in the citadel? It highlighted a star – just one out of billions."
Ettwanae eyes brightened instantly. "Yes! Do you think we should try to find that system?"
"Could be their base of operation or homeworld and nothing to do with what we're looking for," he cautioned, but Warren's instincts nudged it was an important clue.
"Hell, if those bastards picked out a single star in all the galaxy in the same room as the nodes, I'd go out on a limb and say they was connected!" Flint added with his usual flare.
Gatebi leaned in, elbows on the table. "I agree with Flint. Logic says there is a connection."
Flint put on a dramatically stunned expression. "On my God, Gatebi Eudara agrees with Flint Lanic! Anyone else feel a sudden chill? Down low maybe?" he asked pointing toward the floor.
Warren smirked, even more so at the pained expression on Gatebi and Ettwanae's perplexed face. The subtle reference was lost on the non-Humans.
"I can recreate the Dark One's display."
Warren nodded at Volu's offer. "Hopefully, we can remember enough to pinpoint the system. We have plenty of time between now and Tchut to figure it out." Warren rested his arms on the table and smiled at the trio. "There is a little something we need do first," he said reaching for the Dison bottle. "Flint, would you get three more glasses like mine?" Surprise raised Flint's eyebrows. "It's time to celebrate," Warren answered the question he didn't give Flint time to ask. "Neu was a victory – we should have a little party."
Flint gave him a huge grin and nearly leapt from the table to retrieve glasses.
"We should – definitely!" Ettwanae threw in hearty agreement.
"Yeah, if War's sharing his precious Dison, it's serious party time!" Flint threw over his shoulder as he pulled glasses from a compartment.
"Then let the victory celebration begin!" Warren declared. The change of mood in the room was swift. Even Aru seemed to bow out in respect for their triumph.
Warren looked at each of his fellow questants as he filled their glasses. "Our mission was to steal back the memory nodes. We did. We made it out alive. The Dark Ones were destroyed. We freed the Booettus. And best of all," he paused, setting down the empty bottle, "Ettwanae has regained her much of her past. We accomplished all we set out to do and more. Team – we should be proud of that. Salute!" Warren raised his glass.
Flint immediately followed suit. "Cheers to us!" Ettwanae and Gatebi mimicked, not knowing the tradition, but going along. Four glasses raised. "Now we bring our glasses together," Flint instructed the women. Four glasses clinked. "And now we drink!" Four friends drank to their victory. Warren smiled broadly looking over the top of his glass to meet Ettwanae's eyes. The smile returned made all the peril and frustrations worthwhile.
And so they moved the merriment to the coziness of the gathering room and drank, laughed, ate treat foods, shared funny tales of adventure, attempted jokes that often fell on uncomprehending ears, which in itself caused more laughter, and listened to Flint's idea of good music off his iPod that Volu channeled through her aural orifices. Flint and Ettwanae took to the Dison at first sip, but Gatebi warmed to its seductive sweet-fire more slowly. Soon, she and Flint were feeling the intoxicating affects, while Warren and Ettwanae's metabolisms prevented inebriation, but not the soothing affects. Fears, threats, and disappointments were forgotten for a few hours.
As the little party wound down, Warren sat back observed his team appreciatively. He was proud of what they'd accomplished in so little time. And he was growing attached. Flint with his cocky attitude and boyish enthusiasm. Counterbalancing Flint was Gatebi – serious, reserved, in control. His eyes roamed to Ettwanae and his heart warmed. Trusting, loyal, heart on her sleeve, and innocent in many ways. Where he'd seen too much, she'd seen perhaps too little. Had Bhenra, her beloved adopted father, over protected her? While brave, it was becoming increasingly obvious Ettwanae was ill-equipped for the quest before them. Two years she'd searched for the nodes and failed. Warren met with success in less than 40 imperial days. The group needed his experience and his willingness to use threats, force, and take potentially fatal risks.
Thoughts flowed to the one who had no face – Volu. Warren was uncertain of her feelings toward him. Some days, he sensed she liked him and wanted him to be a long-term addition, but other days the distrust leaked through. He deserved the mistrust, he granted, from her perspective. And he'd never forget that Volu would do whatever was necessary to protect and defend Ettwanae, even to the point of killing – the Eshaar'ne had made that abundantly clear.
But even those thoughts couldn't dampen his spirits as he watched the others celebrate victory over the Dark Ones to come away with the prize. The amulet was complete. The challenge now was fully activating it. He and Ettwanae needed to bond. If they could not, finding Etxan'Ir may be impossible. Warren had faced the impossible before – it didn't stop him then and he'd be damned if he'd allow himself to feel defeated already. No, they'd keep trying…keep looking for clues and test the Ura barrier.
He and Ettwanae had decided to try again after Neu. It was now after Neu.
She turned those incredible, crystalline-blue eyes to his, perhaps sensing him watching, and shared a smile that lit up the room. The blue orbs reflected her emotions even more than the smile – caring, longing, maybe even admiration. Then Flint yanked feathers and she snapped her attention back to his playfulness, jabbing him with lightening speed in the ribs. Warren watched the loving smile morph into a mischievous grin, how her golden hair swirled, how the wings spread slightly as she leaned towards her teaser. Ettwanae was breathtaking. 'God, I want you,' he told her without speaking. 'I don't love you…not yet, but I'm pretty certain I want to.'
Yes, they would try again to bond, and he privately vowed to make the attempt as blissful for her as he was capable.
###
Ztar's jaw had literally dropped when he'd watched the recording from Neu. Of course, he cautioned himself not to jump to conclusions about the energy release, but Gtar-Cro confirmed it was lifeforce energy, something normally detected only in small amounts within living beings. To determine whether it was the same energy Archangel released at Fjai would require comparative analysis, but Ztar would bet his throne it was. The golden glow at Fjai was burned into memory. Though only a fraction of the Neu intensity, the color spectrum was the same – a very distinctive golden hue.
The question was, had Archangel alone manifested the mind-boggling surge of power or was the Esserru he traveled with responsible? Or had they manifested together? Legend spoke of golden glowing Esserru, but those tales usually involved healings and Ztar knew of no writings of energy releases even remotely at the Neu level. 'Doesn't mean Esserru weren't capable,' he hedged. 'Only that nothing like it was recorded by the ancient Turzents that had survived to present day.'
Ztar had ordered all data concerning Neu be sent to him and all other copies erased. Gtar-Cro agreed that certain things about the Human must remain classified. With the Etagllot already hunting Archangel, the Neu data Ztar would keep to himself. That was step one.
The Emperor made another decision. Though he'd received no confirmation from Archangel as to his next destination, Ztar acted on faith the man would keep his word. Comming Captain Yels personally, he provided Mi-Lartui's travel coordinates. To make the rendezvous, Yels would need to push Mi-Lartui to her limit and beyond. Heading out his office, he telepathed Cronit Lar to prepare his private shuttle for immediate departure. There was not a minute to spare.
###
Disappointment stung that the nodes did not answer her most fundamental questions, but completing the amulet was a major accomplishment, Ettwanae reminded herself. Hope was not lost, but shifted more heavily to the legendary Library of All Knowledge. Bonding to fully awakened the amulet took on even greater importance. If that could be forced, then finding Etxan'Ir would be assured. Perhaps if she prayed to Ozshi'wanae enough, the goddess would grant a miracle.
It was time to try again. She asked and he had said yes, upholding their earlier decision to attempt to force the soulbinding. She knew his agreement leaned toward the pragmatic. It didn't matter. What mattered was that her intended was lying beneath her.
Since meeting Warren, she'd come close to losing him twice. The Etagllot nearly captured him. The Dark Ones almost killed him. And there was the attack in the alley. But he was safe now within the protective cocoon of her Other as Volu sped through space toward Tchutchka Centrus. She wanted to hold him tightly, treasure that he was still with her, to love him…feel him inside her. She wanted to unite physically and chase away the remnant fears of near loss. Most of all, Ettwanae simply wanted to make love to the man that had taken possession of her heart at first sight.
She'd suggested being on top, that perhaps it gave them a better chance of completing the act. He'd looked dubious, but submitted to her wishes. As she looked down upon Warren, the sight took her breath away. He was nude perfection. Flawless, stunning, blue eyes darkened with wanting, just as every fiber of her being ached for him and her soul yearned to meld with his.
So far, no pain – only intoxicating desire. Ettwanae drank in his smell; melted into the feel of his warm skin; sank into the sensuality of the feathers spread across the bed. As she massaged the most sensitive wing points, he moaned needfully and splayed them even wider, inviting more of the same. She accommodated, combing through the long flight feathers; the resultant shivers through his torso further fanning fiery passion. His eyes were closed, the sensual lips formed a smile, and his face nearly glowed in bliss.
Ettwanae leaned down and danced breasts tantalizingly against the muscular chest as she kissed his forehead, eyes, and cheeks. Her own moans of delight escaped when strong hands captured and skillfully massaged her breasts. That was only a precursor to the delicious waves of sexual fire that ran to her groin when he took one mound into his mouth, twirling his tongue around the nipple. She nearly collapsed upon him in her ecstasy.
Releasing her, Warren placed a kiss between the breasts, and continued kissing his way up her chest and neck to an ear lobe. Then hungrily, his mouth devoured hers, probing deeply. Tongues performed their sensual dance, almost desperate for all the wonders to be explored within. Ettwanae was lost to it. His kiss was bliss. She could kiss him forever and never tire. All too soon, he pulled back, nipped at her lips, chin, and nose before entwining his fingers into her hair and, to her extreme delight, drawing her in for another smoldering exploration of her mouth. At the same time, other fingers tantalized the base of her wing, working their way in exquisite slowness to just the perfect spot and then… "Ooo-hhh, goddess!" She shuddered as heat raced from wing to groin in a delirious flow that nearly sent her to orgasm.
Then gently, he maneuvered her lower on his body. She understood he was signaling they needed to move things along, not risk too much foreplay before attempting the bonding. Ettwanae was close to tears that they could not prolong the wonder, but that would be a luxury reserved for after they had bonded.
Warren was hard against her inner thigh – so close to where things needed to go. 'Just a little more preparation,' she felt as she rubbed against his shaft and he groaned. He grabbed her upper arms as she massaged the erection just enough but not too much, making certain Warren was at the brink. He moaned and gasped his pleasure. That she could bring him such physical delight filled Ettwanae with so much joy she felt she might explode.
Then joy began morphing into something more primal. It coiled around her brain and ensnared her body with a swiftness that made her inhale sharply. 'Take him!' it demanded and Ettwanae shuddered. 'Aru!' she realized, struggling to resist the tidal wave of raw lust. She nearly surrendered, nearly allowed herself to be swept away. Volu's warnings echoed in her head. She'd not risk Warren through unbridled instinct. 'Must stay in control. Must!'
Warren's body tightened and his movements became less fluid. Looking down at his face, she read the conflict there. He was fighting Aru as well. 'Do this now while we're still in control!' she told herself.
Then as if it had been lying in wait for that decision, tendrils of liquid fire curled themselves first in the center of her abdomen, then snaking out. But that wasn't the worst of it. A pain where no physical body existed burned like lava. Warren's body snapped tight and he sucked in a breath in unison with hers.
He was still erect despite the pain. 'Move fast,' she told herself, gritting her teeth. 'Stay ahead of it.' Quickly, she positioned her quaking body to take him in before she could endure no more. Just as his shaft touched her there, the soul pain joined with the physical in a searing detonation. She was paralyzed as her very essence burned alive. A scream she could not suppress joined his and pierced her chambers. Throwing herself off him, Ettwanae curled into a ball against the hellish agony.
They lay juddering, a whimper or groan escaping here and there, waiting for the pain to wane. She wanted to cry, but did not. Ettwanae would be brave for him. The rejection was more intense than the first time. Was Ura punishing them for attempting to defy its harsh sentence? Would each try become worse? Ettwanae could not imagine pain greater than they had just experienced.
Opening her eyes, Warren was curled likewise on his side, facing her, eyes squeezed shut. Sweat glistened on his skin and distress etched the perfect features, contorting them into a contrasting blend of handsome anguish. Then she notice – he was so still. Fear gripped instantly and her eyes searched for signs of life. Relief flooded her as his chest rose and fell almost imperceptibly.
Then his eyelids sprung open perhaps having sensed her alarm. Blue locked on blue, exchanging hurt and disappointment wordlessly. They lay there quietly, afraid to touch, as the unseen fire consuming body and soul became a dying ember. After the worst had passed, a chill that went beyond the physical sunk in and she shuddered. Warren reached out and pulled her in. A subtle tremor ran the length of him. Risking more punishment, they nestled tighter for warmth, foreheads pressed together, hands, legs, and wings defiantly entwined.
"I am so sorry," she whispered from beneath their co-formed feathery cocoon. She moved a wing against his in a tender brush. The will to be brave was slipping. Tears formed and left tracings down her face as they found the bed. His still trembling hand stroked her hair soothingly.
"Don't apologize."
Warren sounded so tired. She thought back over the past several weeks. Everything he had gone through since meeting her – the pain of unfulfilled longing, the agony of their bonding attempts, the narrow escapes – her fault. Her guilt. He'd be happy and safe on his homeworld if not for her. She was hurting the man she loved. Tears flowed more quickly as despair began to take hold.
His hand cupped her cheek and he wiped a tear away with his thumb. "Please don't cry, Ettwanae. We should not try anymore if this is too painful for you. We'll find Etxan'Ir another way."
Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself for the words to come. "Y-you should return home. This- this was a terrible mistake. Ura won't be fooled. We can never be bound. We'll never find Etxan'Ir. I w-won't be selfish and continue to put you in danger or watch you live as we have – the constant craving. It's too much!"
He heart pounded. She did not want to lose him, but she would to protect him. Watching his face, she searched for clues to his thoughts. The crystalline-blue eyes blinked in surprise, then softened. He pushed back gently and maneuvered them into sitting up. She didn't speak – couldn't; her throat was too tight. Fear chilled her to the core that he'd agree, despite knowing it was for the best.
His gaze locked onto her as his hands firmly gripped her upper arms. "First, I'm not going anywhere. I won't give up that easily – not on finding Etxan'Ir, a cure for the nannites, or your people. I'm too stubborn to stop just as we've gotten started. Second, I'm not giving up on us. I'm willing to keep trying to bond. I can handle it, but only if you want to as well. Maybe we just have to find the right method – be faster than Ura. Third, if you are feeling responsible for any of the shit that's happened, listen to me, Ettwanae," he said firmly, squeezing her arms. She dropped her eyes and began to protest, but he cut her off. "Please look at me, Ettwanae." He waited. "Please?" She raised her eyes to his. "I chose to go on this mission knowing the galaxy is a dangerous place – that enemies are looking for both of us. I chose to stay when the first bonding failed and we learned what we'd be facing. I know full well that the search is a long shot and I chose – and still choose – to challenge those odds. You did not make those decisions for me. Feeling scared, concerned, angry…that's to be expected. Heck, nearly dying in the citadel scared the hell out of me, too. But don't you dare feel guilty or to blame, do you hear me?"
His hands dropped from her arms to grasp her hands. "Each day, you're becoming more important to me – more a part of me. Coming so close to losing you in the citadel helped me realize that. So, you're stuck with me." Then he smiled his wonderful smile. "Besides," he released a hand and tweaked her nose. "Where would I find someone as cute as you to bum around the galaxy with?"
That made her laugh just a little. "You are certain you want to go through with this? It won't get any easier – none of it," she asked again, just to be certain he was sure.
"Yes. I'm going to see this through to the end – whatever that end may be. But if you ever feel you want to stop the search and find a safe place to simply live life, we stop. I will not push you into continuing. Agreed?"
She sniffed and nodded. A quick peck on her forehead sealed the deal. How quickly he could change her mood. Just a few words of encouragement and she been pulled from the edge of despair. Ettwanae placed a hand on his cheek and gazed deeply into the face she could get lost within. "I do love you, Warren. I'm not afraid to say it if you're not afraid to hear it." Something passed behind the blue eyes – a flicker that told her he was not yet ready to say the same. "I'll wait for you to catch up." She put on a lopsided grin. "I've heard it said that males are a little slower in figuring out their emotions than females and we women must be patient with them."
"Ha!" he scoffed, but the eyes were twinkling. "Do I hear an air of superiority?"
Resolve was growing within her once more. He had become her strength and her anchor. "Could be, Warren Worthington the Third, overseer of Worthington Industries, known also as an X-man and as Archangel of the Royal Court of Ztar. Sitting naked with all those titles leaves me feeling a touch inferior. I'm simply pointing out where I may have the upper hand."
He laughed deeply and her heart swelled with the sound. Playfulness swept her up with lightening speed. 'Ura be damned!' she declared silently with surprising spunk and she marveled again that Warren could do that for her. With a sly grin, she pushed him backward into the pillows, pressing her naked body down on his. "Speaking of hands…" she drew his hand up and kissed it, "and mouths…" she placed a kiss on his lips, "and other body parts," she nipped his ear, "maybe we can do other things – things Ura doesn't object to…" she said salaciously, brushing her nose on his, then teasing his lips.
"Oh, you are wicked! Testing the limits?" he chuckled. Warren didn't appear to mind the possibility, as she drew her foot sensually up his leg.
"Hmmm, could be. Let's see how far we can go. Are you brave enough?" she taunted, wondering just far too far would be.
And so they began again, tightly controlling the mating drives – the effort was both exhausting and gratifying. Fear of losing control and of the pain helped them walk the very fine line. All too soon, the need in their groins became too uncomfortable. When they stopped, she refused to let him out of the bed despite the pulsating ache to complete the act. But libidos would not be quieted and so eventually, he left to return to his quarters. The physical relief at separation was instantaneous. They'd pushed the limits and captured some fleeting pleasure. She'd take that if it were all she could have. As sleep came, Ettwanae was smiling.
###
The Eshaar'ne had remained silent when her Other's scream sliced to the core. The pair's bio-signs, though erratic, were within acceptable parameters. This was Ettwanae and Warren's shared pain. She would not inject herself unless Ettwanae was physically or mentally endangered. There were certain matters in which an Eshaar'ne does not meddle; what happens intimately between mates being first and foremost. Despite Ettwanae and Warren not being soulbound, Volu would honor the sanctity of the bedchamber.
Fear of losing her Other nearly caused Volu to dephase when she realized the two were about to attempt First Mating. Would they lose all control to Aru and fail to stop despite Ura's soul-searing rejection and be mortally wounded as a result? That was the ultimate risk. For a moment, she regretted telling Ettwanae to try. So much easier to agree bravely to something abstract than to be facing the potential consequences in reality. She almost stopped them. Almost. Soulbound intimacy is sacred and shall not be violated…that is what the old memory/knowledge instructed. Not even by an Eshaaru's Other.
And so, Volu gave her Other privacy, maintaining only the slightest sensor vigilance for signs of physical distress. Then the united scream of failure shattered the hallowed chambers, and she hurt for her beloved Poda. If Volu could have cried, tears would have fallen. Determined to uphold the law of non-interference in intimate matters, Volu did not intrude, though she desperately longed to comfort. It was not her place; that right – duty – was Warren's. But later, should Ettwanae wish to talk, Volu would listen tenderly, provide support, and ultimately, ease Ettwanae gently back toward Warren despite reservations about the man.
###
Warren trudged to his room exhausted. Trying to enjoy intimacy while fighting off instinctual drives pushing you forward while holding back in fear of blinding pain took its toll. He doubted it was something he and Ettwanae would indulge in on a regular basis. But he felt more than simple fatigue. He felt…weird, for lack of a better term. It had started halfway through foreplay round two. Like a pulling or pushing or something in his head…mind…somewhere. 'A stretching?' No, that wasn't it either. He crawled into bed as Aru continued to complain about the unfulfilled act. Staring at the door, part of him was still with Ettwanae, her body curled into his in a perfect fit. 'God, I want her!' The thought only encouraged Aru and he quickly squelched erotic images.
Stretched out on his stomach, he sank into the softness of the mattress, expelling a deep sigh into the pillow. Lifting feathery limbs, he let them to fall gently back to the bed, willing his body to abandon sexual tension. The effort was somewhat successful. He repeated the exercise, splaying the wings as far as possible in the small room. As they floated down, he focused on sensing tiny air currents, the feel as feathers brushed down Volu's walls, and he exhaled long and slowly.
'Pressure.' He had the right word. Something pressed on something else somewhere in his head or awareness...it was impossible to pin down. 'Aru longings and stress taking their toll?' he wondered as weariness dulled thinking. Then slumber engulfed him.
###
A/N: Next chapter is shorter and the last one before the Tchutchka Centrus arrival. Hopefully, I can finish the pre-post editing quickly so we can get on to that second story arc.