Author's note: LAST CHAPTER! The epilogue is right behind this. Please let me know what you think.
Happy reading!
Chapter Thirty-Four
Katniss sat in her car after her latest session. It had been another tough one and she suddenly felt like being alone was best. But she'd promise Peeta she would come over for lunch. She typed out a text, "Sorry, I need to just go home for the day."
She heard her phone going off as she drove. She waited until she was in her house stretched out on her bed before she looked. There were several texts from Peeta.
"That's fine."
"Will you call me at least? I want to hear your voice."
"And call me if you need anything."
She looked at the screen for a while before she dialed his number. "Hi."
"Hey. Are you okay?" He asked gently.
She felt like she was under water. "I'm fine. Can Caleb stay with you tonight?"
"Me? Why not Prim and Gale?"
"Because you're my boyfriend. And because he needs a change of venue."
Peeta chuckled. "Okay. That makes sense."
"Is that really okay? He can spend the night? You can get him to school?"
"Yeah, it's fine. Are you going to be all right on your own?"
"I think so."
He paused. "Well, I'll come get some clothes for him after a while. Do I need to get him from the range?"
"Yes, please. I'll call Gale." She took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Peeta asked softly.
Katniss half hoped he'd come over and everything would be all right. But she knew that he wasn't a miracle cure for all her problems. And she just knew the second he walked through the door, she'd want him to go. "I'm sorry that I need to be alone this time."
"You'll need to be alone a lot. And I don't mind it. As long as you keep checking in so I know you're okay."
"I can do that." She paused. "I'm so tired, Peeta."
"I know. You rest. And I'll come check on you in a little while and get Caleb's things."
Katniss sent a text to Gale to let him know that Peeta would be along to pick up Caleb. Then she rolled over and melted into nothingness.
She registered on the back of her mind that Peeta came in and called her name. She couldn't respond. She felt him come in the room.
"Lunch?" He asked.
She shook her head and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders.
"Well, I brought you some lasagna and cheese buns. I'll put it in your fridge if you get hungry." He kissed her temple. "I love you."
She mumbled. "Love you too."
He kissed her again. "I'll get some clothes for Caleb. Which is his toothbrush?"
"The purple one. His PJs are folded on the end of his bed."
"Okay." He squeezed her arm. "I'll come back and give you one more kiss."
She lay there and listened as he moved around her house. She got up and met him in Caleb's bedroom. "Thank you for this."
"It's fine. He'll be back with you tomorrow and you'll be okay."
"We'll see."
He cupped her cheek. "Don't shut us out. We all love you and we care. We're here when you need us."
She nodded. "Thank you. I just need today."
Peeta pressed a soft kiss to Katniss's lips and then stepped away. "I'll have him call you."
She nodded.
He finished gathering Caleb's things and even grabbed a stuffed bear off the bed. He kissed Katniss once more and then left.
She got back into her bed and stayed there for the rest of the afternoon.
Peeta brought Caleb back the next afternoon after he picked the boy up from the range. She wasn't up to coaching another day.
She pulled her son close and asked, "Did you have fun with Peeta and Callie?"
He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. "Yes. But I missed you. Peeta said you weren't feeling well."
"I talked about some hard things with my talking doctor. And it made me really sad. So I needed time alone to heal."
"But you're better today?"
"A little better, yeah." She looked up at Peeta. "Thank you. Where's Callie?"
"She has a science thing she's working on with Finn and a couple other kids at the Odairs." He leaned close. "I miss you."
"I miss you too." She brushed a kiss over his lips. "But I still need space from you."
Peeta nodded. "I'll call you later." He kissed her again and stood. "I had fun, Caleb."
Caleb got up and gave him a hard hug. "I love you, Peeta."
"I love you, buddy." He leaned down and kissed the top of the boy's head. He kissed Katniss once more. "I love you. I do. You are very important to me, so don't you ever forget it."
After he left, Katniss threw together supper for her and Caleb. She barely ate. She stretched out on the couch and watched as Caleb did his homework on the coffee table. He got ready for bed on his own and she sat with him for a few minutes. She rubbed his back and combed her fingers through his hair. Then she went to her own bed and hoped she'd wake up refreshed. Or at least a little better.
For the next few weeks it was the same. She didn't ask Peeta to watch him again. In fact, she didn't really speak to Peeta. A text here and there, but no full conversations, just to let him know she was okay. She didn't want to burden him. It wasn't his problem. It was hers. She didn't even talk to Gale beyond the necessities of work.
He stopped her one Friday afternoon. "Baby shower this weekend. You're coming right?"
"I totally forgot." She nodded. "Yeah, I'll be there."
"Your mom will be there, too. Just a heads-up."
Katniss nodded. "I'm not surprised. She was always better able to get along with Prim."
"Because you're so much like your dad."
"Did my mother tell you that?" She grumbled and went back to setting everything out.
Gale sighed. "You know she has trouble. She lost her husband, for crying out loud."
"Of course you defend her."
He grabbed her arm. "What is wrong?"
She shook her head. "Nothing."
"It's something. You've had a hard relationship with your mom, but you've never been this angry about it."
"If she had been around more…" Katniss took a deep breath and let it out. "I blame her when I know I shouldn't. I'm working on it."
"Yeah, maybe if she hadn't worked so much, you would have had a better life in high school. But my mom was there. She never gave up on you. She cared for you."
"I know. And I know that if it wasn't for her it would have been worse. But my own mother didn't care." She hated when the tears came to her eyes. "I don't think I can do this today."
"It's fine."
"Doesn't sound fine."
Gale shrugged. "I can only carry you for so long, Katniss. This was your idea."
"I know. And I'm trying." She looked around. "Just let me take some time."
"Just go home, Katniss." He picked up a handful of bows and started distributing them.
"You have no idea what I'm going through, Gale."
"No, I don't. But I do know that we have a job to do. So you figure out how to compartmentalize or you don't even bother coming in."
She stormed out of the building and slammed into her car. She zoomed out of the driveway and drove at top speed. She knew she was being reckless, but she didn't care. She just needed to get away.
She slowly started cooling off. She knew she could be hotheaded and impulsive about some things. And she knew that Gale was right. There was a job to be done and she'd missed out on so much since her therapy started.
She turned around and drove back. She didn't say anything to Gale as they both got to work. It was a busy day trying to get as much in as possible and reinforce things. It was almost time for winter break and everyone would be off for the next several weeks.
Annie dropped Callie and Finn off for their lessons.
Katniss said, "They're both the last two for the day, so I can bring them back."
Annie gave her a grateful smile. "Thank you. Finnick is trying to get things set up for the shower tomorrow and Peeta's baking like a madman. And I am just exhausted." She rubbed her stomach. "This one is extremely nocturnal and won't let Mommy get sleep."
Katniss smiled. "Well, I guess you'll be used to it when she's born."
Annie nodded. "Yep, I guess so." She kissed the top of Finn's head. "Have fun. Get a couple bullseyes for me."
"I'll try."
Callie wrapped her arms around Katniss's waist. "Daddy said to give you that."
Katniss chuckled and hugged her back, kissing her forehead. "Well, this one's just for you. Now let's get to work. Both of you are improving so much. Let me see how well you've practiced all week."
Caleb watched attentively as both the older kids shot. They were good. He was impressed. Gale brought him around for his own chance to show off. He gently prodded Katniss into a competition among the three. They were all pretty well on the same track, but Callie ended up winning by three points.
The kids helped them pack up and Katniss pulled Gale aside. "I'm sorry about earlier. This has been a hard few months for me, but I'm working on things. And I'm going to keep working on things."
Gale smiled and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I understand, Catnip. You're always my best friend. And you can say anything to me and I'll still love you."
She smiled and hugged him back. "Thank you."
They finished getting everything put away and then Katniss loaded all the kids in her car. Finn got out at the front door and waved. Finnick came out and thanked Katniss.
"You coming tomorrow?" He asked.
"Definitely." She smiled. "Can't miss my own sister's baby shower."
"True. It was sweet of Peeta to organize this."
"I was supposed to help." She admitted. "I've been kind of out of it lately."
Finnick nodded. "Well, thanks for giving Annie a break. We both appreciate it." He stepped back and waved.
Katniss stopped outside the bakery. They could see Peeta inside still, setting some Christmas decorations up in the window. The kids both bolted out of the car and ran to the door. She followed at a much more sedate pace.
Peeta opened the door. "What are you doing here?" He demanded with a smile.
"I kind of live here." Callie said.
"You live in a bakery?" Peeta laughed and pulled her into a tight embrace. "How did you do today?"
"I beat Finn and Caleb." She announced.
"But I still did a good job." Caleb interjected.
"Both of them are very talented." Katniss said from behind them.
"Hi, Katniss." Peeta said with a smile.
"Hi, Peeta." She stepped around the kids and wrapped her arms around his waist. She breathed in the scent of flour and sugar and yeast and let out a deep breath. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too." He kissed her cheek. "You guys want supper?"
"Can we go to the Chinese place?" Callie asked.
Caleb nodded. "That sounds yummy."
Peeta looked to Katniss. "What do you say?"
"Yes, that sounds good."
Peeta locked the bakery door and turned out the main light. The lights in the cases still glowed softly to light their way. Peeta took Katniss's hand and led everyone out the back. "I need to make sure all the ovens are off, so you guys go ahead out to the back and I'll meet you out there."
"I want to talk to you." Katniss said. "Kids, you go on."
Callie draped her arm over Caleb's shoulders and brought him out back. "Grandma and Grandpa got me a basketball goal for an early Christmas present." She told him as they went outside.
"I wanted—" Katniss started.
"Are you going—?" Peeta began at the same time.
Katniss chuckled. "You go."
"Are you going to the shower tomorrow?"
She nodded. "I am. And I wanted to apologize for leaving you to handle this on your own. We'd discussed doing it together."
He shrugged. "You're going through a lot. I'm just glad you're okay."
"I'm getting there."
He went around the kitchen checking all the ovens.
"My mom will be there tomorrow. I want to introduce you to her has my boyfriend. And I want everyone else to know, too."
He nodded. He walked over. "I want to adopt Caleb."
She smiled. "You have to wait for that one. You have to be married to me."
"So marry me."
She shook her head. "I need you to give me a little more time."
He nodded. "I understand."
She gently took his face in her hands. "It would be great for you to officially be his dad. I would very much appreciate it. But now I need you to just be my amazingly patient boyfriend and his awesome unofficial dad. Okay?"
He nodded again. "Okay. I can do that."
"I'll add you to his pick-up list at school and put the bus that goes by here as another option. If you're okay with it, I'd like him to come spend some afternoons here. He gets so bored at the range."
He smiled and covered her mouth with his and lifted her off her feet as he happily kissed her. "I love you so much, Katniss."
"I love you, too."
They heard giggles and looked toward the window to see both kids watching them. Peeta kissed Katniss once more and then took her hand. "Let's go eat, I'm starving." He picked both of the kids up over his shoulders and headed out the back. Katniss stuck her finger in the back belt loop of his pants as she followed.
Katniss came through the door with a large box of cookies "Peeta is right behind me with the cake. And it is massive."
Peeta was just a couple steps behind with a tall cake box on his shoulder. He ducked through the door. "Where do we want it?"
Finnick helped him take the box through to the kitchen. "Katniss, your mom is already here. Apparently she stayed with Prim and Gale last night. Prim said to tell you before you just bumped into her."
"Where are they?"
He nodded toward the back of the house. "Annie is showing off the nursery."
Katniss nodded and sat the box of cookies down. "Thank you, Finnick." She looked toward the back hall and took a tentative step.
Peeta's hand came to rest on her lower back. He rubbed soothing circles and kissed her cheek. "You don't have to confront her right away. I need help with the rest of the stuff."
"Thank you." She walked out the front door and to the back of the car. In addition to cake and cookies, Peeta also took it upon himself to make fresh buns for the hamburgers Finnick was cooking for everyone. He had teased Katniss that he needed something to occupy his time and distract him from his sexual frustration. Katniss had helped him with that last bit the previous night.
As they walked inside, Katniss stopped. There was her mother, smiling at Annie and her arm wrapped around Prim's waist. Neither was surprising. Annie could make anyone smile. And Prim and Iris got along very well. Katniss often suspected Prim was Iris's favorite.
"Hi, Mom." Katniss said softly. She cleared her throat. "It's good to see you."
"Good to see you, too, Katniss." Iris said.
Caleb came running in. "Mama, it's snowing!"
Katniss brushed flakes out of his hair. "Awesome. If it sticks, we'll make snowmen later. Come here." He led Caleb across the room. "This is your Grandma Iris. You met her when you were a baby."
He looked up at her. "You look like Aunt Prim." He wrapped his arms around her waist.
Iris kneeled in front of him. "You look like your grandfather. Your mother picked a good name."
"A very good name." Prim agreed.
"Have you guys picked one yet? Speaking of names." Peeta asked. He slipped an arm around Katniss's waist.
"We're thinking Ivy." Prim said. "Continue with the plant theme for another generation."
"Oh, that will be pretty." Peeta rubbed more of those circles into Katniss's back. It was almost hypnotic.
"Mom, this is my boyfriend Peeta." Katniss said.
"Did you just say 'boyfriend'?" Gale asked.
"Must be hearing things." Finnick said. "What was that, Katniss?"
She blushed. "You all heard it right."
Iris looked Peeta over. "You look familiar. What's your last name?"
"Mellark. I run a bakery. Maybe you've been by."
"Mellark?" She smiled. "I knew your father. We went to school together. A very nice man."
"He was." Peeta nodded. "I need to close up the car and see where Cal got to." He kissed Katniss's cheek and walked outside.
Iris watched him go and then looked back to Katniss. "Can we have a talk?"
"I think that's necessary." Katniss led her to the other room. "I'm sorry. I blame you for a lot of my problems. I know that it's not your fault that you wanted to provide for us and that you needed to bury yourself in your work to get over Dad and grieve. I get it."
Iris took her hands. "Prim and Gale told me everything. And I am so sorry for all you went through. I didn't know. I just thought it was a bad match. I didn't know what he did to you." He voice broke. "I promise, Katniss, we'll work on getting to know each other again. And I want to get to know Caleb. Just as much as Ivy."
"You should get to know Callie, too."
"Callie?"
"Peeta's daughter." She smiled. "The ultimate goal for us is to be married. But it will be a while. I'm still working on myself."
Iris wrapped Katniss in an embrace. "I'm so proud of the woman you've become."
"I am, too." Katniss hugged her back. "Can we keep the marriage goal between us? I don't need Finnick and Gale teasing us."
Iris smiled. "I promise."