Life after Loss

Chapter 36: More Pain

But it's not just my waters that come. It's blood. We realise that when Tobias picks me up out of the truck and the blood covers my gown. I start sobbing as they rush me to the infirmary. I feel weak. Weaker than ever before.

Just as we burst through the infirmary doors my eyes droop and blackness covers my field of vision.

…

Tobias' POV:

She's unconscious. And she's bleeding.

A nurse rushes over to us and asks what's wrong.

"She's been hurt, and induced into labour. She's thirty six weeks pregnant. She's bleeding." Is all I manage to say. The tears in my eyes start to fall.

I place Tris gently on a bed and they wheel her away. I try to follow them but they don't let me.

So I just sit in the waiting room with my head in my hands, crying. The others are here as well, Shauna and Michael came to join us, they met us here. Everyone is just silently waiting.

Four hours pass by before a nurse comes out to us. But she only asks for me. She wants to speak to me privately. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know.

I stand in front of her, worried. We're standing outside the room Tris is in, sleeping.

Just say something already.

"Is she okay? Is our daughter okay?"

"So you didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"Tris was pregnant with twins. The other baby, a boy, was against her back, which is why he didn't show up in any ultrasounds, because your daughter was covering him, it also explains why Tris looked like she was only pregnant with one baby."

"Is he okay?" I'm shocked.

We have a son.

She looks upset. Sad. Guilty.

Something's wrong.

"Your son is doing okay, he needs some help with breathing and he needs some more nutrients because he's small, he didn't get as many nutrients as his sister did. But I believe he will be okay."

"What about our daughter?"

"I'm sorry. You said your wife was beaten, and hurt. Your daughter got the worst of it. I'm guessing Tris fell on her stomach a few times, or more than a few. Maybe even kicked or punched there. We tried everything we could to save her, but she was very fragile. I'm sorry but your daughter is gone."

More tears fall. Our daughter is dead. Taylor is dead.

"Is Tris okay?"

"She's fine. She's still sleeping though. She lost a lot of blood so she's going to need a blood transfusion. You can go in and see her if you want. When Tris wakes up I'm going to need you to press the call button though so I can come and talk to you both. See how you're coping."

I just nod and walk into the room.

There she is. The love of my life. Lying in the bed. Pale. Her stomach is deflated slightly, the bump not as big as it used to be. She's attached to bags of blood, nutrients and pain medicine.

I sit in the chair next to the bed and take her warm hand in mine.

Our daughter is dead. How am I going to tell her that after everything she has been through?

But we have a son now. A son we didn't know about but is a miracle. What are we going to name him?

Tears are still lining my cheeks when she wakes up, an hour after I entered the room. She looks at me and I know she can tell that something is wrong.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Tears fill her eyes and I know that more tears are going to fall when she hears the truth. And that pains me. "Is Taylor okay?"

I take a deep breath and tell her everything. Starting by telling her we have a son, like the nurse did with me. It might soften the blow a bit.

"Taylor's gone, Tris." Is the last thing I say and it's enough to send her into sobs.

I sit next to her on the bed and hold her in my arms, I start sobbing as well.

But I press the call button, after about ten minutes of us crying together and holding each other.

The nurse walks in and looks at us sympathetically.

"I know this is hard, I do. But I was wondering if you wanted to see your daughter. I can bring her in and you can hold her for however long you want."

"Y-yes." Tris cries. I nod.

"Okay. I'll go and get her."

She's gone then. But she comes back about five minutes later with a baby in her arms, wrapped in a pink blanket. Our dead daughter.

The nurse places Taylor in Tris arms and we both look at her pale, tiny body. Then she leaves to give us some time.

"She's so beautiful." Tris whispers.

"Yeah."

And she is. She has Tris' blonde hair and my facial features. She's perfect. But she's gone.

"Why does all the bad things have to happen to us?"

"I don't know, Tris. But I promise you that things will get better. I'll do anything to make things better for you. And we'll have another daughter one day. I know we will."

"But she won't be Taylor."

"I know she won't be. But she'll be ours. And she'll be perfect."

"This is my fault, isn't it?"

"No, it's not your fault. It's Natalie's, and Andrew's, and David's. Those are the people to blame. They're the people that hurt us and sent you into labour early."

"But they did that stuff because I'm Divergent and I managed to get out of the serums too quick."

"You're not the one to be blamed. It's not your fault you're Divergent. It's not your fault they hurt you."

"I just want our baby back."

"I know. I want her too. But we have a son, who's alive. We will have a daughter one day, but for now, we have a son who needs us."

She just nods and continues to look at our daughter, so do I.

I don't know how long it's been before the nurse comes back in, asking us if we're done. Tris starts complaining, saying we're not done and that she's our daughter so they can't take her from us. But the nurse replies that she can take photos of her, and get her hands and feet printed onto a block of clay, which they can write her name on so we can have something from her. We can even give her a funeral. Tris agrees to all of those things and so do I.

Then we're taken to see our son. I am pushing Tris in the wheelchair she is in, because she's just had a C-section she is advised to rest as much as possible. The nurse is pushing the pole with the medication and blood on it.

We're taken into a room with an incubator that holds our son in it in the middle of the room. Then we're left alone.

He's tiny. Tinier than his sister. And he has my hair with Tris' facial features. There is a cannula in his tiny nose to help him breathe. There is a needle in his small arm that gives him nutrients. All that he is wearing is a diaper and a black hat. But he's perfect. He's sleeping as well.

"He's perfect." I whisper.

"Yeah. What are we going to name him?"

"How about Tyler? Because it's like Taylor, so it's after his sister. Tyler Eaton. Though I have no idea what his middle name could be."

"Tyler Michael Caleb Eaton."

"Perfect."

Each of us has an index finger in our son's hands. There are doors in the side of the incubator which allow us to touch him, because this is the only contact we'll be getting for a few weeks. Until he can breathe on his own and he's a good size. Because he wasn't born at full term he is small, but because he didn't get as many nutrients as Taylor did he's smaller. He only weighs about four pounds. But he has to get to at least six pounds to be let home.

I just hope he's okay so we can take him home soon.

Hey Ravens, sorry for the sad chapter but it had to happen.

I will update again when I can.

Please review… and tell me what you want to happen next or at any point throughout the story. I might include your thoughts if you tell me what you want.