Chapter 36: What are you doing here?

"You." Sanae scowled as she reached into her pocket.

"I wouldn't do that." Touya said, "To Kiyome, I've been with her for 2 years now."

"2 years?" Sanae asked.

"Yes. Though only 5 months of that was real."

"What are you doing?" Sanae demanded.

"I'm being a good boyfriend." Touya said, "And introducing myself to my girlfriend's old friend."

"What do you want with Kiyome?"

"What do I want?" Touya smiled sadly, "What do I want indeed..."

"I swear if you want to harm her-"

"Harm her? I would never do that."

"Then...what are you-"

"Sanae!"

Sanae jolted as Kiyome returned, "Ah K-Kiyome!"

"Thanks for waiting! Ah. Touya! What are you doing here?"

"I just came to say hi. Imagine my surprise when I found out Sanae was back in town."

"I know! Sanae, you remember Touya."

"Huh? Oh...of course."

"Well then, I'd better be going." Touya smiled as he left.

"Eh? Don't you want to talk with Sanae some more?"

"Sanae seems tired. And I'd just be a bother."

"You're no bother." Sanae forced a smiled, "Come visit me anytime."

"...I'll be sure to remember that..."

"What did you think of today, Sanae?" Kiyome asked from her kitchen.

"Huh?" Sanae said, breaking out of her daze, "Oh. Yeah. It was fun."

"What was it like to see everyone again?"

"Kind of overwhelming."

"Ehe. You can talk to them more tomorrow. I'll officially register you as a guest."

Kiyome stopped, "I-If you want to that is..."

"Thank you." Sanae smiled.

Kiyome returned to her work with a relieved smiled. Sanae let out her own sigh. The mystery of Touya was still nagging at her.

"Something wrong?"

Sanae jolted as Kiyome returned with their instant ramen.

"You seem troubled." Kiyome said as she handed her, her ramen.

"Oh. I...Actually...I forgot who Touya is."

"Really?!" Kiyome cried.

"Yeah. Mind reminding me?"

"Wow, that's harsh." Kiyome smiled, "But fine."

"Touya was in the same class as us back when we began high school." Kiyome explained, "In those early days it was just the 3 of us. It wasn't until you left that we actually got together though."

"Hm."

"I was worried since you seemed to have a small crush on him back then." Kiyome laughed.

"What?!" Sanae cried.

"If you want I can give him back." Kiyome smiled slyly.

"N-No. I think I'm over it."

"Is that so?" Kiyome said as she began on her noodles.

It's not true.

"It can't be true." Sanae said as she laid awake on her bed at night, "Kiyome and Touya...and me. It can't be true. Because...Touya's a youkai."

...

Sanae sat up, "Is he really though? No youkai could survive the years in the Human Realm. They'd disappear."

…

"No. I'm sure of it." Sanae said, shaking her head, "I've hunted youkai for years. I know a youkai when I feel one."

Sanae sighed as she settled back down to sleep, only one question remaining. How did he survive?

"Morning." Kiyome smiled as Sanae made her way to the living room.

"Morning." Sanae yawned.

"Wanna go back to school today?"

"Oh. I..."

"You won't have to do work."

"N-No that's not the problem. And...actually, I do want to come with you."

"Great!" Kiyome smiled.

"Here."

Sanae took the visitor's tag from Kiyome.

"It's homeroom right now, so we have some time together." Kiyome explained, "Anywhere you want to go?"

"Oh. Um...actually I would like to talk to Touya again." Sanae said as she pinned the tag to her shirt.

"Touya? I didn't see him. He mustn't be here yet." Kiyome said, "Why the sudden interest?"

"Eh? O-Oh I just...I wanted to apologize for...forgetting him."

"I'm sure he doesn't mind." Kiyome smiled, "He's a really laid back person."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Remember in 6th grade where...oh right. You probably don't."

"Sorry."

"It's okay." Kiyome smiled, "Oh! Why what about that club you used to go to?"

"Club?" Sanae frowned.

"Yeah! Oh, wait. That's right, it got disbanded."

"Disbanded?"

"Yeah. Oh and...actually...I shouldn't tell you."

"What? What is it?" Sanae demanded.

"Well...the remaining 2 members of your club...disappeared."

"D...Disappeared?"

"Y-Yeah. Sorry."

"...What...What kind of club was it?"

"You said you were studying Necromancy-"

"What was it called?" Sanae insisted.

"T-The Ghostly Field Club."

"Ghostly Field Club?" Sanae muttered to herself as she wandered the school halls, "Why does that seem familiar?"

Kiyome had to return to her classroom as her lesson began, but she left Sanae one last thing for her to ponder. A room number. And it was that room that stood in front of Sanae right now.

"This is it." Sanae gulped, "The former club room for the Ghostly Field Club."

Nervous, Sanae grasped the door and with one last inhale, she threw the door open.

"Hm? Sanae?"

Sanae jolted as she heard a familiar voice. But the room was empty. No one was there. In fact it looked like no one had been here for a while. Dust coated much of the furniture. And yet a strange nostalgia tugged at Sanae. Wisps of voices echoed emptily in her mind. As confused as Sanae was, she knew one thing. Something painful had happened here.

"You sure have a one track mind."

Sanae jumped as someone spoke from behind her. She spun around, "T-T-Touya?!"

This time Sanae was certain. Her instincts were clearly reacting. But it had grown fainter. Weaker.

"W-What's with the cast?!" Sanae cried as she stared at Touya, "And the medical eyepatch."

"You really do have a one track mind don't you?" Touya sighed as he walked past Sanae and into the room, "You agonized over me for the whole night, then forgot me when you heard of this club. And when you do see me, all you notice are the bandages?"

"Well sorry." Sanae said bitterly as Touya sat on the table, "And? Aren't you going to explain yourself?"

"Hmph." Touya smiled, "Figured a smart girl like you would figure it out already."

"As you suspect, I am a youkai." Touya began.

"Why are you still here? How are you still here?"

"One question at a time. I'm here because I was left over from the transfer to Gensokyo." Touya explained, "As for how I'm still here. That's just the power of sheer willpower."

"That's ridiculous." Sanae said, "Youkais can't survive in this world without people's beliefs."

"That's true." Touya said, "Even I can't survive for much longer. My body is deteriorating. That's what this cast and eyepatch is for."

"You still haven't explained how you survived for so long." Sanae insisted.

"I would tell you, but I'm not sure myself." Touya smiled.

"Explain. From the beginning."

"Are you sure?" Touya asked, "It's a long story."

"I have time."

"Very well then."

"The day Gensokyo was separated from the Human Realm, I was left behind. The first years weren't too bad. With no other youkais around, I was the focus of everyone's beliefs. I survived for about 3 months on that alone. But even then belief was dropping, just like everyone had anticipated. Soon I barely had enough of an existence."

"How long was this?" Sanae interrupted.

"About 3 years now." Touya said, "Did you know what kind of youkai I was?"

"..."

"I was a Satori." Touya smiled bitterly, "I could read the minds of other people. Though my third eye has long since disappeared. It was...maybe a year since everyone left. I was wandering, my power growing weaker by each passing day. There was nothing I could do, but disappear. Next thing I knew...I fell in love."

"...No." Sanae said, stunned.

"I saw her from afar. Of course she didn't notice me. I was barely there. But for some reason I used what was left of my power to read her mind. I learned everything about her. And I decided. I wanted her to notice me. I wanted to live. I wanted to be with her. That day my eye disappeared was the day I discovered I was in love. And that day I discovered a new power."

"...You can insert false memories into other people." Sanae said.

"Bingo." Touya clapped, "Yes, the day I fell in love. The day I lost my powers as a Satori was the day I gained a new power. With it I inserted myself into her memories as an old friend. But I wasn't done. Even with me in her memories, it meant noting since I was dying. That same day I decided. If youkais can't survive, then I'll become a human."

"You...you're insane." Sanae said, "Youkais are born from abstract thoughts. You're incapable of logical thinking."

"But here I stand. Not in the best condition I admit, but I survived. For 4 years I survived at her side."

"You're killing yourself!" Sanae cried, "You're just prolonging the inevitable!"

"I know that. It's illogical. Love is illogical. But I'm a youkai. I'm supposed to be illogical."

"..."

"You're an idiot." Sanae said, "How could a youkai fall in love with a human?"

"It's a regular Romeo and Juliet." Touya smiled.

"...And? You're been with Kiyome for 2 years now?"

"Yes." Touya said.

"And what about this club?" Sanae demanded, "Don't tell me you-"

"What? No. I have nothing to do with this club."

Sanae sighed.

"Hm? Ah! Sanae! Touya too?"

Sanae jumped as someone spoke from behind her. She spun around, "K-Kiyome?!"

"Wah!" Kiyome cried as she noticed Touya, "T-Touya! What happened to you?!"

"I fell down some stairs."

"You fell down stairs?" Kiyome frowned.

"Yep. 18 floors worth of stairs."

"Eighte-Nevermind. You should be resting in the infirmary!"

"No I'm fine."

"That's ridiculous! You have an eyepatch for god's sake!"

"Don't worry. This isn't the first time this has happened."

"What are you-" Kiyome blinked, "Oh. Yeah. That's right. Well...are you sure you'd be okay?"

"Yes, yes." Touya smiled.

"O-Okay then. Oh. Sanae. Remember anything?"

"Y-Yes." Sanae smiled as well, "Thank you for telling me about this club."

"Haha. Well. I better get to my next class. Bye."

The 2 of them waved good-bye as Kiyome departed.

"You used your power on her didn't you?" Sanae said once Kiyome had left.

"Sharp."

"Why?"

"So she doesn't have to worry about me of course."

"How would that help?"

"Hm?"

"You may be able assure her that a cast is alright. But what will you tell her when you disappear?"

"..."

"Don't tell me you're not going to tell her."

"...Kiyome's a nice girl. She can easily find someone else."

Sanae stared at him, stunned, "Don't...Don't give me that!" She cried punching Touya in the face, "You were the one who forced Kiyome to care about you! Because of you, Kiyome is actually, truthfully in love with you! You can't just disappear on her without another word!"

"Then what do you suggest?!" Touya yelled back.

"Tell her the truth!"

"What, the truth that I don't actually exist and I only have a few days left to live?! Even if she did accept that, don't you think she'd be really conflicted?!"

"T-Then..."

"The truth doesn't solve everything." Touya scowled as he rubbed the place where Sanae punched him, "I was a Satori for much longer than I was with Kiyome. You couldn't lie to me. That's why I know that sometimes a lie is the better choice."

"...But still...saying nothing? It's kind of cruel." Sanae said, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes.

"...It's the only choice I have." Touya sighed, "Only a miracle could help."

"...No. A miracle won't help. Trust me. I know."

"...Well...I don't plan to leave her completely alone." Touya admitted.

"What?"

"Call it a little life assistance." Touya smiled.

"...You...are you the one who keeps telling her not to sing?"

"Oh? She told you?"

Sanae punched him in the face again, this time sending him falling to the ground.

"IDIOT!"

"What did I do now?!" Touya cried.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sanae yelled, "Kiyome's dream is to sing!"

"Do you know what a life as a singer is like?! You only succeed if you can satisfy other people! Eventually people will grown bored of you and move on! I don't want Kiyome to go through that! I don't want her to feel like me! Left behind...no where to go...the only option left is to disappear..."

Sanae felt something bubble up inside of her. She didn't fight it, allowing it to burst out of her mouth. What came out was something even she wasn't expecting. She began laughing.

Touya watched in confusion as Sanae laughed. Sanae laughed for a moment more before choking back her laugh to try and speak.

"I think-ha! Ha...I think...I think I know what's wrong."

"Really?" Touya asked, skeptical.

"Yeah." Sanae smiled, "After all this time in the Human Realm, you started to think like a human."

"Of course. I had to become human in order to survive in the Human Realm."

"And that's your problem." Sanae said, "You're a youkai. You can't think logically. When you do, you take it into it's extreme."

"What?"

"You're TOO logical." Sanae explained, "You're thinking too much."

"What do are you talking about?" Touya asked, getting back up.

"Hm. Touya. It's true that we moved to Gensokyo since humans were becoming too logical and losing faith. But humans can be just as illogical as us."

"What?"

"It's true. Singing isn't the most stable job in the world. But I'm sure...Kiyome wants to sing to make people happy. She doesn't care if she doesn't satisfy everyone. Just that she satisfies one."

"How do you know that?"

"Kiyome showed me her singing once." Sanae explained, "While it's not the best right now, when I complimented her, she lit up. She was truly happy."

"That's it?" Touya asked.

"Yeah." Sanae said, "It's human kind's illogical thinking that we chase dreams, even if they're not the most lucrative, stable or fun."

"..."

"..."

Touya sighed, "Kiyome must be pretty sad that I forced her to give up on her dream huh?"

"..."

"What should I do?" Touya sighed as he leaned on the table, "How could I possibly make it up to her?"

"...Apologize."

"What?"

"Apologize and explain everything to her." Sanae said, "If it's Kiyome I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"Apologize and explain huh?" Touya said, "Kiyome's going to flip when she hears this."

"..."

"But..." Touya continued, "I think it's the only thing that'll bring me peace."

Sanae smiled.

Lunchtime, Touya explained everything to Kiyome. Kiyome listened calmly to him. At the end, she just smiled and left.

"Looks like she's mad." Touya sighed as he sat down.

"But she's not insane is she?" Sanae noted.

"Hmph." Touya smiled as he poked at his lunch, "At least I can disappear in peace."

"Disappear?"

"Weren't you paying attention?" Touya frowned, "I'm already deteriorating. I'll disappear in a few days."

"I was thinking." Sanae said, "You wouldn't have to disappear if you could go to Gensokyo."

"Don't you think I tried looking?" Touya sighed, "There's no way."

"...Wrong. There is one way."

"And that's why I brought him here." Sanae smiled as she introduced Touya.

The human stared at Sanae. Then at the former-Satori. He sighed, "Really?"

"Hey I'm not lying!" Sanae said, "He actually did survive 5 years in the Human Realm!"

"I'm not doubting that." The human said, "He's clearly a youkai and he is deteriorating."

"See!"

"...Touya was it?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you're ready to go?"

"...Yes. After telling her the truth, I think I can leave without any problems."

"Don't you want to hear what she'd want to say?"

"...I...don't deserve to hear her answer."

"..."

"But." Touya said, looking up, "I'm surprised. You survived for almost as long as me and you don't seem to be deteriorating."

"That's because I'm not a youkai." The human said, "...Sanae."

"Yes?"

"Get ready to leave. Your friend too. Shrine Maiden of Selfish Desires."

"Hey!"

Sanae looked around. She appeared to be in a while space. In the distance was what seemed to be Gensokyo. Behind her was the human's apartment.

"Not another border transfer." The human sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just head towards Gensokyo. Don't move back or I can't help you anymore."

"O-Okay." Sanae said, turning towards Gensokyo.

"W-WAIT!"

Sanae jumped as someone spoke from behind her. She spun around, "K...Kiyome?!"

Kiyome ran towards them from the Human Realm side, stopping once she got reached Sanae.

"W-What are you doing here? What is she doing here?" Sanae cried, looking towards the human.

The human shrugged.

"I have...something to tell you." Kiyome gasped.

"What is it?" Sanae asked.

"I...I knew. I knew all along. About you being a Shrine Madien. About Touya being a Youkai."

"Y...YOU KNEW?!" Sanae cried, stunned.

"Yeah."

"H-How'd you-"

"You don't pay attention to your surroundings do you?" Kiyome smiled, "You're not very quiet either. Be it while I'm trying to sleep or when I'm going back for my notes."

"I-I..."

"And Touya." Kiyome said, turning to him, "I want to know one thing."

Touya gulped.

"What did you actually think of my singing?"

"...It was heavenly." Touya smiled, "I'm sure...you'd be a successful singer."

Kiyome beamed, "Touya. I'm sure we'd meet again."

"I can't assure you'd remember him though." The human interjected.

"Eh?!" Kiyome cried.

"Don't worry." The human said, "Even though you won't remember him...I'm can't stop you from meeting each other again."

Kiyome smiled again.

As Kiyome waved good-bye and the 2 youkais left, Touya spoke up,

"You did it."

"Huh?" Sanae looked up.

"You pulled off your best miracle yet I dare say."

"...I still have a lot of work to do." Sanae smiled as she they returned to Gensokyo.