Chapter 35:

Hours later Janet and Eddie's hands were still placed over their baby but Janet was asleep. Eddie sat there enjoying the closeness to their baby and having his hands entangled in hers even if it wasn't quite the way it was before. He wanted to be positive and stay focused on their baby and their future but deep down he knew it wouldn't be that easy as she didn't remember their relationship, their wedding or even how they conceived their baby. He wondered how he was going to help her in remembering. Would he tell her about Dwayne? So much was going through his mind at that time that he just decided to focus his energy on their baby and marvel in it's strength as his little son or daughter had managed to survive all the trauma and still have such a strong heartbeat. He knew somehow that everything would be fine in time.

As Janet lay there sleeping, she began to dream. She dreamt of this beautiful house with lots of flowers. She dreamt of sitting in a room overlooking the flowers and feeling so calm and at peace. Her dreams seem to move from one thing to another. One minute she was in a bar but she knew that it wasn't Sully's. She was talking and laughing with the people. She felt happy and at ease in this place that seemed so foreign to her. She dreamt of a man, not Eddie but a very tall handsome man. He seemed so familiar to her, although she didn't know why. It seemed that her mind was putting all these images in her head for a reason. She woke suddenly.

"Janet are you ok?" Eddie asked concerned. He had noticed that her sleep seemed very restless.

"Yeah, I am I just had some really strange dreams. There were so many places and people…I just don't know…" Janet said drifting off trying to make sense of what her mind was showing her.

"Well why don't you tell me about the dreams and I'll see if I can help you make sense of them. The doctors did say that your memory could come back and maybe all of those images are from the time that you can't remember. You and I talked a lot about what you did when you lived in Hope maybe I can help you understand." Eddie said so sincerely.

Janet just looked at Eddie at that point. She couldn't believe how nice he was being. Her last memory of him was just so awful and he was so angry, but this seems like a whole new man sitting in front of her. He seemed like he just wanted to help her.

"Ok, well the first one had this amazing house with lots of flowers. I remember thinking that it was so beautiful and I felt really happy there." She said

Eddie smiled, "That is the house that you stayed at in Hope. You met these people while visiting your grandparents and they needed someone to watch their home while they were in the nursing home recooperating from their illnesses. This happened when you left Knight's Ridge after we broke up." He said sadly.

Janet looked at Eddie after he said the last statement. She thought, "I did leave the Ridge. Why does he look so sad? He wanted me to leave, he told me to rot?"

"I don't understand Eddie, why do you look so sad? You told me to go find some place to rot. When I left I know that I was doing the right thing because I am the one that cheated." Janet said with uncertainty in her voice.

"I know this is hard to understand right now Janet but I never wanted you to leave the Ridge. I was so angry when you told me about Rooster that all I saw was red. I was in love with you Janet so when you told me that you slept with Rooster I just lost it. I know that you slept with him because of me. Because I was with Rory that night and you saw us kissing. I know that I am the one who is responsible for what you did that night because I didn't tell you how I felt about you before that day and I didn't tell you that Rory was there that day. I have made some mistakes in my life Janet and done some things that I am not proud of but that day was the biggest mistake I have made in my life, well other than telling you to go find some place to rot." Eddie said sadly.

Janet and Eddie sat there for a few minutes quietly. Janet was trying to understand what Eddie was saying and Eddie was hoping he could get through to Janet once again as he had in the past year.

Janet looked at Eddie, "You were in love with me, why didn't you tell me that? Why would you not tell me something I so badly wanted and needed to hear?" she said with tears forming in her eyes.

"Janet I don't know if I can make you understand what I was thinking. You had said that you had never been in a relationship before well I guess to be honest other than Rory in high school I hadn't either. I spent a great deal of time avoiding being in a relationship because I never wanted to feel what I felt when Rory left. Somehow when I began to have feelings for you I knew that I wouldn't be able to avoid it any more. I knew that when I asked you out that this could be the relationship that I wouldn't be able to walk away from and I was right but that scared me. It is hard to find yourself depending on another person even when you don't want to. I knew from the beginning of our relationship that you were different then everyone I had dated prior because we had such an amazing friendship. The bad thing about having all those feelings you become so afraid of losing them or screwing up that you just don't say or do anything in hopes that things will stay the same, or at least that is what I thought. It turns out I was very wrong and it cost me my relationship with you for over a year." Eddie said looking directly at Janet now.

"For over a year?" Janet questioned

"Yeah, you moved away and lived in Hope for about a year." Eddie said not knowing how much more to say.

"So I moved to Hope and lived in these people's home for a year?" Janet asked

"Yeah, you did." Eddie said.

"So in my dream I was a bar but it wasn't Sully's and I was talking to a bunch of people. Was that in Hope too?" Janet asked trying to put it all together

"Yeah, you worked at a bar in the town a few days a week. Big Jim's I think it was called. Everyone loved you there, of course and so you filled in 2 or 3 days a week when Jim needed ya." Eddie said smiling.

"I must have liked it then." Janet said looking at Eddie's smile

"Yeah I think you did. When I came to see you in Hope we went there and I could see how much the people loved you and how comfortable you were behind the bar. It really was a nice town." Eddie said somewhat distracted now.

"So what else happened there? You look like you know something else that you are not telling me. Does it have to do with a tall man?" Janet asked looking right at Eddie to see if he knew who this man was.

Eddie looked at Janet. He was somewhat hoping that Dwayne would be the one thing she wouldn't remember. "Why do you ask?" eddie said.

"In my dream I remember talking with a very tall handsome looking man. I didn't know who he was but I felt like I knew him." She said.

Handsome, huh? That was Dwayne." Eddie said somewhat hurt that she described him as handsome.

"That was Dwayne? What happened to him? How did I know him?" Janet asked.

"Dwayne passed away nearly a year ago. He was a friend of yours in Hope and he had Lou Gehrig's disease." Eddie said.

"Oh, did I have any other friends there." Janet said wanting to know about her life in Hope.

"Yeah you did, most of the town in fact. Everyone knew you because of working in the bar and they also knew the couple that you were house sitting for. It was a pretty small town but you seemed to fit right in." Eddie said smiling once again.

"So why did I leave then?" Janet asked.

"Well the couple was ready to return to their home for one" Eddie said hesitating a bit

"And for the other…" janet said looking at Eddie as if there was more

"The other was me I think. I came to visit you in Hope and we decided to be friends again. I spent about a month in Hope with you. You felt like you could come back to the Ridge at that point." Eddie said not really wanting to talk about Dwayne but had a feeling the discussion was coming.

"You came to Hope and stayed for a month…why would you do that? I don't understand Eddie?" Janet said just looking so confused.

"Janet, Dwayne was more than a friend to you. The two of you dated and I suppose loved each other. I know he loved you and you said that you loved him to me. When I found out that he had passed away I came to Hope to help you, comfort you. You needed a friend. You hadn't told anyone where you were before he died, not even Hannah so when I found out where you were I came right away." Eddie was not looking at Janet anymore while he told her the truth.

Janet sat there trying to understand all the things that Eddie just said. She fell in love with someone else who died and Eddie came to her to be her friend even though they hadn't talked since they broke up. This was a lot for her to take in. Why would he do that? " Janet thought.

Eddie could see that she was having a difficult time trying to understand all the things that he was saying. He said, "Janet you will figure this all out in time. It has only been a day since you woke up from our coma. Right now maybe you should rest and we'll talk about all of this later on ok." Eddie said grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

He was right, Janet thought. She was trying to figure this out it just didn't make sense. She was so in love with Eddie how could she have fallen for someone else. It just didn't make any sense at all. She was devastated when Eddie broke up with her. Now she was carrying Eddie's child and she doesn't even know how they got back together or even married. Her head began to pound and realized that she was in fact really tired.

"Your right Eddie, I think I need to rest some more. Thank you for being honest with me. I don't understand a lot of what you are talking about but I am hoping that it will make sense to me someday. I am sorry that I am putting you through this. I guess since we are married that this must be awful for you since I don't remember anything, but I promise you Eddie I will try and remember." Janet said looking at Eddie.

"You were in an accident Janet, this isn't your fault. But you are right, we are married and I am not going anywhere so you take all the time you need. All I want is my family to be together, healthy and happy. I think we are definitely on our way to healthy and we have time to figure the rest of it out ok?" Eddie said trying to be hopeful. "Now you just rest a bit. I'll be right here if you need me." Eddie said as he got up and kissed his wife on her forehead.

Janet looked up at Eddie and smiled. She closed her eyes and within minutes was soundly sleeping.

Eddie sat down in the chair and just stared at Janet. He had debated whether or not to tell her about Dwayne but if she did get her entire memory back he couldn't risk her being upset with him for being dishonest. He promised her he would always tell her the truth after the whole Rory situation and he was not about to break that promise. The one thing he learned in that situation is that secrets never stay secrets forever and even if you are keeping them for the right reasons in your mind it is much better to tell the truth. He lost Janet once keeping those secrets and he would not risk it again for anything, not for himself and definitely not for their baby. For the first time in Eddie's life, he had a real and true family and he would do anything to protect it.

The days that followed were filled with doctors and nurses checking in on Janet and the baby. She had successfully completed her first trimester and the baby was growing everyday. The heart beat continued to be strong and she started to feel better physically from the injures sustained in the accident but she was now starting to feel the effects of the pregnancy. She was tired and her breasts were really sore. She could feel her body changing. She had lost quite a bit of weight in the month that she was in the coma but was rapidly gaining it back from the baby. She was convinced that this child was a boy. She didn't know why but she was hungry all the time, his reminded her of Eddie and his appetite.

"Ok Janet well it looks like we are going to have to have a going away party because you are ready for release from this place." The nurse said with a big smile on her face. She had cared for Janet since her arrival nearly two months ago. All of her injures have pretty much healed by now and the doctors felt confident that the baby was out of any kind of danger so she could go home and try to find a normalcy before the baby arrives. Janet's memory wasn't back entirely but she seemed to be "dreaming" about that part of her life that was missing when she slept and would ask Eddie everyday what the dreams meant, most of the time he could help her but some things he didn't even know about. They had been working on their relationship little by little as well almost starting over since that part she still didn't remember. Janet was a little nervous when the doctor told her that she would be going home because she didn't know what to do about Eddie and their relationship. Since they were married she knew they would live together but she just didn't know how that would be since she didn't remember their reconciliation. She figured that they would talk more about it when the time came.

Eddie walked in the room while the nurse was in there getting the discharge papers ready and waiting for the doctor to sign off on them. "Hey looks like we are heading home today." Eddie said with a giant grin on his face.

"Yeah it looks that way." Janet said nervously.

Eddie could tell that something was not right with Janet but thought that they could talk about it on the way home.

The doctor came in and signed the necessary paperwork to discharge Janet with instructions on the doctor he contacted in the Ridge to help with the follow up appointments for the baby. Janet was grateful as she didn't even know who she would go to for the baby. She didn't thought that now her focus would be about the baby and learning all the things she would need to to prepare for their arrival in the coming months.

They packed up her things and said their goodbyes to the staff. As they got into Eddie's truck, Janet was very quiet.

"So are you happy to be out of that hospital?" Eddie said trying to start a conversation to figure out what was going on with Janet.

"Yeah…" Janet said distractedly

"What goes on in that head of yours Janet? You look like you are worried about something?" Eddie said trying to look at her but mostly drive. He was still a little skiddish when it came to driving and now with Janet in the truck it was worse.

"I was just thinking about the baby and what we are going to do when we get home…" Janet said with the last part being very quiet.

Eddie sat there and listened to what she said. All of the sudden it hit him, she was worried about when they got home. Her memory hadn't come back yet of their relationship and she didn't know if he would be there or how their relationship would be.

"Janet are you worried about being back in the Ridge? About us? Is that what has got you so quiet?" Eddie asked.

"I guess so, I mean I know that we are married but I don't remember any of it and I just don't know how we are going to live together. I don't know what our routine is or anything?" Janet said with tears forming in her eyes. A part of her felt badly because she knew that Eddie was the most important person to her at one time and but that day in the hospital was so fresh in her memory she still felt so guarded and didn't know what to do.

"Janet I don't want you to worry about anything ok. We will figure all of that out as time goes. If you want me to sleep on the couch I will but I am not leaving the house. We are married and I am committed to getting you through this Janet. Your memory will come back and when it does we will then be able to focus on our baby, Ok?" Eddie said confidently.

"Ok, Eddie but you shouldn't have to sleep on the couch. That doesn't seem fair. Please just be patient with me, ok?" Janet said looking down at her hands.

"You don't even need to worry about that Janet, I love you and I will wait forever if I need to." Eddie said grabbing her hand and lacing his fingers with hers.

Janet looked over at Eddie for the first time and smiled. It was the first time that Janet felt that everything would be ok.

They arrived home around two hours later and Eddie grabbed all the bags and walked into the house first. Janet sat in the truck for a minute just to mentally prepare herself for going in. She didn't know why she was so hesitant but something in her just kept her sitting there.

Eddie came back out of the house and opened up Janet's door. He gave her his hand and helped her down from the truck. He had gotten a new one since his accident and it was a bit higher off the ground then his last one. Since the accident was the tow truck's fault, Eddie and Janet had gotten a new truck, all of Janet's medical bills were paid and they had gotten an additional settlement for the severity of the injuries. Janet of course didn't know about any of it but Eddie had taken care of all the paperwork and meetings in regards to the matter. The settlement was enough to prepare for the baby and pretty much pay for it's college education if they chose to go in the future. Eddie had big plans for getting a room ready for the baby but wanted to have Janet be a part of it so he held off on telling her about all the details just yet.

They walked into the house with Eddie holding Janet's hand the entire way. She looked around the room as she walked in and everything pretty much looked the same, which made her feel much more comfortable. Eddie led her to the couch so she could rest a bit. She hadn't had much activity since the coma so they were still working on her mobility. She could walk and did so everyday that she had been awake working with the physical therapy staff to strengthen her muscles. She responded to the therapy well but still tired easily.

She sat on the couch and then noticed the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. She hadn't remembered that so she thought that must have been new. She got up and walked over to it. It was absolutely beautiful. Eddie had gone into the kitchen to get her some water. Janet began to run her fingers across the clock and noticed the inscription and date. She stared at it for a second and suddenly screamed, "EDDIE!"

Eddie dropped the glass of water that was in his hand and ran over to Janet. "What is it? What's wrong Janet? Is it the baby?" Eddie began to feel around her belly as if he could feel the problem.

Janet turned around and looked right into Eddie's eyes, "No Eddie it's not the baby…I remember Eddie…I remember it all." Janet said with tears streaming down and a big smile on her face.