The house was dark, no light on. Maybe I had just forgotten to lock the door? I tiptoed up the stairs, towards my bedroom. I fell asleep with a smile sprawling my face, Today had been a good day.
The next morning I rummaged through my closet for clothes. After a good 10 minutes of deciding on what to wear, I headed down to breakfast. I had 20 minutes to spare until the bell, but it took at least 15 minutes to walk. So i grabbed a granola bar, gathering my stuff, and opened the door to leave. But just as I did, someone walked in the living room. George was wearing a dress shirt and pants a long with a blazer and tie. An outfit you don't really see him in.
So it was true, he had come home last night after all. "Good morning." He greeted. I stood there staring at him for a few seconds figuring out if I was still dreaming.
"Uh okay." Was what came out of my mouth.
He nodded his head. "I'm going out to a job meeting. Have a nice day at school Janette." He smiled. I pinched my arm.
"Ya, thanks." I said dryly. He smiled and waved to me as I stepped out of the house closing the door behind me. I stood there in shock. George getting a job? Him wishing me a nice day? He never really called me by my full name unless he was yelling at me. It was strange, but I could get used to it.
School wasn't harsh to me today either. I actually pad attention. Ashley and I hung out at every opportunity we got. Behind her popular image she had before, she was actually just like me. We had a lot of similarities which brought our friendship tighter. I skipped home in joy. Another perfect day, I was on a roll. Entering the house with a grin, I couldn't help but notice it was quiet. George's shoes were on the rack which meant he was home, though. I dropped my bag and ran upstairs.
George's door was open. I walked to the bathroom as I heard a soft noise. I stopped walking and took a minute figuring it out. Low sounds were coming from George's room...almost like sniffles. My curiosity overpowered and I carefully shuffled to his door not wanting to be heard. In the room, George was sat on the edge on his bed. His body angled so I could only see the side of his face. He was looking down at a paper in his hands. I watched as tears of his sprinted down. I didn't think right now was a good time but just as I turned back he called my name.
"Jana." His voice was soft and broken. I turned back and slowly stepped in the room. George's eyes were burning red, as he had been crying for a while. The picture in his hands made my heart stop.
"Ya?" I answered still nervous. He looked back down at the picture.
"I proposed to Mellisa." He said to me. I really liked Melly, she was definitely amazing. But it didn't help that the picture in his hand was one my mom. Dana.
"That's..That's good." I said trying to find an appropriate response. I didn't want to make him mad like when he told me about her pregnancy.
"Is that all your going to say?" He said under his breath.
"Um...Great actually." I added. He stood up brushing his pants.
"Wow." He simply said, "I thought you'd take it harsher than that..I mean..."
"It's fine. I'm actually happy for you." I said avoiding his face. Nothing was to ruin my day. It was too good of a day to have any flaws. George wasn't going to be the reason for making it bad. My eyes trailed back to the picture in his hands. He noticed me looking at it and stepped closer to me.
"You know." He whispered, "I never stopped loving Dana."
The mention of her name made me feel weak in my knees. "You can't love somebody who's not alive." I stated harshly turning and running out of the room. Unexpectedly tears had welded up in my eyes. I heard George come after me. I almost opened the door of my room when his two hands held on to my shoulders making me spin and face him.
"Jana, please stop squirming and listen to me." He said calmly. I stopped and stared away from his gaze. "Understand that I never meant what I did. I was angry and had been drinking that morning...I...I wasn't thinking properly."
The tears that had formed were now falling one at a time.
"That...It was a big big mistake...I'll never forgive myself for it. And you have every right to be mad."
"Mad! Im fucking...I don't even know what I am!" I shrieked. My outburst shocked him.
"I'm sorry okay! Do you think im proud? I should be in jail! I might as well as well just turn myself in. Mental or not, what I did was way out, even i know it. The only reason i'm still living is to take care of you!" His eyes read sorrow but his last sentence disappointed me.
"Take care of me? Ive been doing nothing but take care of myself! Your not even here 90 percent of the time. But when you are you're just bitching at me!" I screamed anger pulsing threw my body. "You wouldn't care of me if I was the last living thing on the planet! What was the point of having a child with another women when you can't even take care of me!"
I turned silent and closed my eyes expecting a slap. After a few minutes I re opened my eyes to see George still staring at me. He didn't remove his arms from my shoulders. "You don't let me take care of you." He whispered again. His words sinking in me. I pushed his manly hands off me and treaded back.
"That's the point!" I shrieked, "I don't need your fucking care when you already ruined my life!" Breathing deeply, I took his frozen position to escape to my room. I slammed the door behind me. Sitting on the floor with my head against the door, I tried to tame my anger. I heard a soft knock, followed by two more. "What do you want with me!" I bellowed.
"Jana." George's voice pierced through the door, "Calm down."
"Calm down? Do I seriously have to question everything you say cause its so fucking stupid!" I yelled, "You might be calm now but normally I would've been bleeding by now!"
I heard him sigh deeply. "I'm controlling my emotions for your sake," He said. "Just give me a chance to continue talking."
The door was separating us, I knew seeing him in front of me would make my temper go out of control.
"Just kill me already!" I screamed through veins exploding, "I'm just going to call the police and you can have a good life in jail!" I was tired of being scared of him.
He didn't reply.
"Fine." He said through whispers. He sounded hurt and almost as if tears had formed. "I just want you to know that I don't hate you. You never gave me a chance so I didn't bother earning one. I don't want to hurt you anymore because it hurts my self. I miss Dana. I didn't just move on to Melly. If I was to love another person than Dana it was Melly. Dana and I weren't blessed with a child...That's...That's when you came into our lives." He paused.
I breathed heavily listening to his words. "I bet me coming into your lives made it hell for you right?" I muttered frustrated.
"No Jana." He stated, "Mellisa told you im bipolar right? I bet she didn't mention all the other disorders I have. The reason I didn't be with you as much is because I didn't want to get angry and hurt you."
With that I stood up and faced the door. "But you've already hurt me enough." I said.
"I'm sorry!" He implied. "Melly was my doctor even back then. She was the only one than Dana who understood. But she left to the US and I guess her counseling was the only thing that tamed me and without it...Again, I'm sorry. Please open the door."
"No your not sorry!" I shot.
"Jana, what the hell. Why can't you take me serious!" He yelped. I jumped back in fright as he pushed the door a bit.
"Because of this exactly!" I hollered.
"Jana-"
"Don't say my name! Just leave me alone!"
"No." He said steadying his breath. "I won't until we have this settled. Melly won't even look at me until we do."
"So it's about you now huh?"
"No, I mean, Ugh Never mind, just stop yelling and know what I'm trying to say!" His hand wriggled the door knob but I locked it.
"I don't want to see your face." I spat.
Sorry that none of the boys are in this chapter. but hoped you enjoyed it nonetheless! I was originally making it way longer, but ive decided to split it! MASSIVE THANKS YOU! please please please please review this chapter as well! Thanks xx